Think about it.

Kids are a lifetime and costy investment (if you can call it that).

Marriage is only costly at the beginning (wedding) and maybe the end (divorce). Otherwise its a shared investment.

With kids you get no rest.

With marriage you get plenty of rest. Ok maybe too much rest.

When your kid talks back to you, you can discipline them.

When your spouse talks back to you, you can't discipline them because its considered spousal abuse.

When your spouse gets on your nerves you can go out and get another one.

When your kid gets on your nerves, you can't go and get another one kid. If you try to make one on your own you have to wait damn near a year.

When you have a kid you are tied to the other person for at least 18 years.

When you have a spouse, you can leave pretty much the moment you get aggravated.

The older your kid gets, the cuter they get.

The older your spouse gets, the uglier they get.

Seems to me it's a rougher deal to have a kid then it is to have a spouse.

DISCUSS.

So uh....

why are people having all these babies but not getting married first or ever? Glutton for punishment?

I don't know why but I find it funny when a couple has like two or three kids together, they live together...but then say they are not ready for marriage

DysregulatedToxicity said:

I don't know why but I find it funny when a couple has like two or three kids together, they live together...but then say they are not ready for marriage

That is the strangest shit ever! Then one of them gets mad when the other goes out and finds a marriage partner or when the 4th kid comes along .

low self esteem/self worth issues. they think if they have a baby, they will get alot of attention, and that they will receive love from the baby.

BlackAdder7 said:

low self esteem/self worth issues. they think if they have a baby, they will get alot of attention, and that they will receive love from the baby.

Wow! I have a feeling there's a lot of truth in what you've said. Terribly sad if that's what is going on in such arrangements.

Even if a couple eventually divorces, I still think its better (and worth the effort) to marry before you have kids or at least before they are old enough to talk. Kids are WORK!

Marriage takes planning, babies happen when you don't plan!

NDRU said:

Marriage takes planning, babies happen when you don't plan!

But how much unplanned fucking and baby making does one have to do before they stop and realize they ought to visit the justice of the peace? It takes 10 months to cook a baby and like 10 minutes to stand before a judge and say "I DO".

Kids are WORK!

NDRU said:

Marriage takes planning, babies happen when you don't plan!

Nah, I am a bad planner and so far I have 0 babies

Because making babies is quick and easy and marriage isn't.*

*Note...this is not in reference to those with fertility issues, bless them.

[Edited 11/21/11 16:02pm]

HotGritz said:

NDRU said:

Marriage takes planning, babies happen when you don't plan!

But how much unplanned fucking and baby making does one have to do before they stop and realize they ought to visit the justice of the peace? It takes 10 months to cook a baby and like 10 minutes to stand before a judge and say "I DO".

Kids are WORK!

Mind me asking you how many kids (if any) you have, and marital status?

DysregulatedToxicity said:

HotGritz said:

But how much unplanned fucking and baby making does one have to do before they stop and realize they ought to visit the justice of the peace? It takes 10 months to cook a baby and like 10 minutes to stand before a judge and say "I DO".

Kids are WORK!

Mind me asking you how many kids (if any) you have, and marital status?

Happily kid free and single. I learned my lesson from watching friends, family members, and colleagues fuck both those jobs up.

When I'm playing surrogate parent I am exhausted. I can't imagine anybody wanting to do that job over and over again without a spouse to help. Hell, I can't imagine anybody thinking that marriage is HARDER than raising a child for 18+ years.

HotGritz said:

NDRU said:

Marriage takes planning, babies happen when you don't plan!

But how much unplanned fucking and baby making does one have to do before they stop and realize they ought to visit the justice of the peace? It takes 10 months to cook a baby and like 10 minutes to stand before a judge and say "I DO".

Kids are WORK!

but that work is just forced upon you after a few moments of pleasure. A lot of people don't choose to have kids at all.

So getting married takes being proactive, even if it is less work.

BUT there is one great reason to get married--registering for gifts!!

NDRU said:

HotGritz said:

But how much unplanned fucking and baby making does one have to do before they stop and realize they ought to visit the justice of the peace? It takes 10 months to cook a baby and like 10 minutes to stand before a judge and say "I DO".

Kids are WORK!

but that work is just forced upon you after a few moments of pleasure. A lot of people don't choose to have kids at all.

So getting married takes being proactive, even if it is less work.

BUT there is one great reason to get married--registering for gifts!!

Wait

Do you know how much money I have spent on wedding gifts?

Come to think about it....I've spent more at baby showers.

[Edited 11/21/11 16:15pm]

That's messed up when a woman push out so many babies, and he goes and marry someone else. Life is strange, isn't it?

angel345 said:

That's messed up when a woman push out so many babies, and he goes and marry someone else. Life is strange, isn't it?

This happened to one of my aunts. Uncle made 3 kids with her and they never married but just lived together for years. One day he up and leaves her for some chick and they get married. He made kids with the new wife and took better care of those kids than his other ones with auntie aka baby momma. I don't approve of this but then again I think about the era they lived in and there was just no excuse for her not to demand marriage.

I think about all these celebrity men and athletes with their "baby mommas" and it puzzles me why they keep cranking out the kids (and raking up child support bills) but don't want to marry. Even middle class and poor people do this.

HotGritz said:

DysregulatedToxicity said:

Mind me asking you how many kids (if any) you have, and marital status?

Happily kid free and single. I learned my lesson from watching friends, family members, and colleagues fuck both those jobs up.

When I'm playing surrogate parent I am exhausted. I can't imagine anybody wanting to do that job over and over again without a spouse to help. Hell, I can't imagine anybody thinking that marriage is HARDER than raising a child for 18+ years.

Same here! and very very happy.

I hear you about playing surrogate parent. When I babysit my newphes or nieces, I feel like I can't do anything but watch them. They are wonderful kids but it can be quite stressful.

HotGritz said:

angel345 said:

That's messed up when a woman push out so many babies, and he goes and marry someone else. Life is strange, isn't it?

This happened to one of my aunts. Uncle made 3 kids with her and they never married but just lived together for years. One day he up and leaves her for some chick and they get married. He made kids with the new wife and took better care of those kids than his other ones with auntie aka baby momma. I don't approve of this but then again I think about the era they lived in and there was just no excuse for her not to demand marriage.

When my mother or grandmother was coming up, if you get a girl pregnant, you're going to marry her

angel345 said:

HotGritz said:

This happened to one of my aunts. Uncle made 3 kids with her and they never married but just lived together for years. One day he up and leaves her for some chick and they get married. He made kids with the new wife and took better care of those kids than his other ones with auntie aka baby momma. I don't approve of this but then again I think about the era they lived in and there was just no excuse for her not to demand marriage.

When my mother or grandmother was coming up, if you get a girl pregnant, you're going to marry her

SHOTGUN WEDDING!!!!

You know that shit was real too at least in the South! Literally a papi or grandpapi would be there with a rifle pointed at the man or an arrest warrant would be issued for the man if he got a girl/woman preggo and refused to marry her. Reputation was everything back then.

DysregulatedToxicity said:

HotGritz said:

Happily kid free and single. I learned my lesson from watching friends, family members, and colleagues fuck both those jobs up.

When I'm playing surrogate parent I am exhausted. I can't imagine anybody wanting to do that job over and over again without a spouse to help. Hell, I can't imagine anybody thinking that marriage is HARDER than raising a child for 18+ years.

Same here! and very very happy.

I hear you about playing surrogate parent. When I babysit my newphes or nieces, I feel like I can't do anything but watch them. They are wonderful kids but it can be quite stressful.

HotGritz said:

angel345 said:

When my mother or grandmother was coming up, if you get a girl pregnant, you're going to marry her

SHOTGUN WEDDING!!!!

You know that shit was real too at least in the South! Literally a papi or grandpapi would be there with a rifle pointed at the man or an arrest warrant would be issued for the man if he got a girl/woman preggo and refused to marry her. Reputation was everything back then.

Yep, the bible belt

The real reason? Cause woman aren't very smart.

Why would a woman have a baby by a man she is NOT married 2?

That is DUMB in more ways than 6ixx.

Yeah, I think it's crazy when you ask an unmarried couple who has children together why they are not married? They often say, "We're not ready for that kind of a committment." Like having children and raising them together is not a committment!

Graycap23 said:

The real reason? Cause woman aren't very smart.

Why would a woman have a baby by a man she is NOT married 2?

That is DUMB in more ways than 6ixx.

Not necessarily.

I'll just say this....shit happens.

Tittypants said:

I'll just say this....shit happens.

Yeh like in the predator!!!!!!

because most babies aren't planned.

^ I will concede that is the case with baby #1 but by the time you've got your 2nd, 3rd and 4th kid....that shit was planned.

You planned to fuck that night and you planned to look at the box of condoms and toss it.

HotGritz said:

^ I will concede that is the case with baby #1 but by the time you've got your 2nd, 3rd and 4th kid....that shit was planned.

You planned to fuck that night and you planned to look at the box of condoms and toss it.

i know. personally, i don't get it. i know women who 'trap' men into marriage by becoming pregnant. i know women who create a child to 'save' their marriage. but, that's madness in my opinion. the child ends up damaged, and the adult pays in terms of parenthood stress and its attendant challenges