LittleBLUECorvette said:

Making babies = Sex

Marriage = No Sex

Am I right??

I think this is accurate. I've yet to hear about marriages that still have sex after 20, 30 years.

LittleBLUECorvette said:

nursev said:

Plus that muthafucka hated Prince it was doomed from the start

nursev said:

LittleBLUECorvette said:

Making babies = Sex

Marriage = No Sex

Am I right??

Umm...yeah u are

Bam, there it is.

luv4u, close this thread.

But seriously, 95% of the young people I know didn't plan on having banies, they just fucking, slip up and lil Jr. come out 9 months later. So, if they didn't plan on making a kid, they damn sure didn't have marriage in their mind. It's just people are not responsoble.

LittleBLUECorvette said:

Making babies = Sex

Marriage = No Sex

Am I right??

That's bull.

Everyone thinks when you get married you stop having sex or the sex is no longer fullfilling. Really, stop it.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

LittleBLUECorvette said:

Making babies = Sex

Marriage = No Sex

Am I right??

That's bull.

Everyone thinks when you get married you stop having sex or the sex is no longer fullfilling. Really, stop it.

You think people not marrying but having kids are sluts?

LittleBLUECorvette said:

nursev said:

LittleBLUECorvette said: Umm...yeah u are

Bam, there it is.

luv4u, close this thread.

But seriously, 95% of the young people I know didn't plan on having banies, they just fucking, slip up and lil Jr. come out 9 months later. So, if they didn't plan on making a kid, they damn sure didn't have marriage in their mind. It's just people are not responsoble.

There you go!

I rather be single and lonely than get into a situation that neither I nor she are prepared to take... knowing ME though I'd probably work it out either by marriage or simply living with her, getting a steady job and getting all the stuff the baby needs and raise that baby with her. It'll be up to me and the woman if we want to take it to another level or not.

Timmy84 said:

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

That's bull.

Everyone thinks when you get married you stop having sex or the sex is no longer fullfilling. Really, stop it.

You think people not marrying but having kids are sluts?

No I didn't say that.

I said I hate this thought that sex after marriage is no longer as fullfilling or it stops althogether. Come on, Timmy. You know me better than that...

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

Timmy84 said:

You think people not marrying but having kids are sluts?

No I didn't say that.

I said I hate this thought that sex after marriage is no longer as fullfilling or it stops althogether. Come on, Timmy. You know me better than that...

Heh.

I'm just saying, if the couple don't wanna marry, that's up to them. I ain't gonna look down at them for not wanting to do what other people think will "fulfill" them.

Otherwise, just leave the dick/pussy alone and do your own shit and jack off lol

Timmy84 said:

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

No I didn't say that.

I said I hate this thought that sex after marriage is no longer as fullfilling or it stops althogether. Come on, Timmy. You know me better than that...

Heh.

I'm just saying, if the couple don't wanna marry, that's up to them. I ain't gonna look down at them for not wanting to do what other people think will "fulfill" them.

Otherwise, just leave the dick/pussy alone and do your own shit and jack off lol

I ain't judgin' couples who have children out of wedlock either. They're adults, they can handle their own lives.

HotGritz said:

I think about all these celebrity men and athletes with their "baby mommas" and it puzzles me why they keep cranking out the kids (and raking up child support bills) but don't want to marry. Even middle class and poor people do this.

Breakdown of and lack of value for the traditional family unit, Chile. I know some women are able to pull it off (we got some Superstar baby mamas here that have their ish together and they're kids are turning out awesome)- but more often than not what I witness IRL, baller mamas included, are chicks who end up making their lives a hell of a lot more complicated by checking for these dudes that don't commit, have no sense of duty & repect for family...messed up...

KidaDynamite said:

DysregulatedToxicity said:

Wouldn't that apply to men too? Why would a man have a baby with a woman he is not married to and then bitch about paying child support for the next 18 years?

I feel it applies to both.

But that part about women being stupid for having a baby for a man she's not married to is not always the case. I think a person would be stupid to have a baby by someone that they know aren't really 'in' that relationship. What I mean is, if you have a baby with someone already knowing that the other person is trifling or doesn't treat you right, then that's stupid. Having a baby to try and make someone stay around or to "make things work" is beyond stupid imo. But my sister and my brother in-law has been together for over 10 years and have 2 beautiful boys. They love eachother and their kids dearly but he just proposed to her a few years ago and it wasn't because he didn't want to but he was trying to save up to get her a nice ring. So, in reality, just because 2 folks aren't married doesn't mean it's not going to work or they won't get married.

The bolded part of what you said just reminded me- I had a friend once that was always trying to encourage me to get knocked up. WhetherI was married, single, dating...she didn't get that 1. I wasn't exactly checkin' for kids, and 2. If I did want to have one , I wanted to make sure the environement was stable and naturing for such a life altering decison. I love her, but in her flawed counsel she was always saying " have it for you, have it for you!!! " Chile please. Kids are niot something you acquire to tickle your own fancy. If this was about a self serving desire I'd rather go on a luxury vacation, buy a Max Mara coat or adopt a cat. When I want to do something for me, that's what I do, not randomly pop out kids.

Timmy84 said:

I personally think if you're gonna be single and enjoy your life, don't always have sex. That may save the trouble from having something that you don't want at that second lol but both genders don't think with their minds, they think with their sexual organs.

Ding ding ding ding ding!

THERE is the winning answer! And if you are goint to get busy between the sheets, learn how to wrap your stuff up.

LittleBLUECorvette said:

Making babies = Sex

Marriage = No Sex

Am I right??

Wrong.

More people should read Solomon. It's all about keeping it sexy in marriage .

Ottensen said:

Timmy84 said:

I personally think if you're gonna be single and enjoy your life, don't always have sex. That may save the trouble from having something that you don't want at that second lol but both genders don't think with their minds, they think with their sexual organs.

Ding ding ding ding ding!

THERE is the winning answer! And if you are goint to get busy between the sheets, learn how to wrap your stuff up.

I hate those that act like they're above wearing condoms. Next thing you know they're on Maury!

Why is it "Necessary" to Marry?

People can have fulfilling relationships in a Family environment without Marriage and let us be honest, Divorce rates are High, very High.

I am Married, but it wouldn't matter to me if I wasn't married to my Wife, life would be just the same and my Kids would have the same amount of love and attention.

Besides, Churches like Weddings, its a Great income - £150 just to ring a Church Bell , £200 for a Church Organist (Who, lets be honest, sounds like a 9 year old trying to play a Bontempi Organ lol) £300 for the Service................Then theres Flowers etc etc all within the Church and provided by that Church at great expense...... Then theres the Reception, oh yeah, the Party...... £2,000 for a Venue, £25 - £40 per person for Food, Flowers, Decorations etc..... So thats probably why People don't get married, cuz its so stupidly overpriced.

We got Married in a Registrars office, we had a CD with our own chosen Music (yeah man I had Prince at my Wedding - Though my Wife wouldn't let me have "Head" on the List ) and it didn't break the Bank.

oh and it was a mutual decision to get Married there

Efan said:

BlackAdder7 said:

low self esteem/self worth issues. they think if they have a baby, they will get alot of attention, and that they will receive love from the baby.

I think that's exactly it.

I tend to agree with this as well, but I also think we need to hear from those that are in this situation. I know there are people on this site who have had children with two or more different men although many that have married as well. I would like to hear what they have to say. I would also like to know why anyone would have a baby with someone they've only been with for a short period of time (ie: less than 1 year). Having children is no joke. It's a lifetime of responsibility. I believe many do it in an attempt to keep the relationship going and for attention as well.

My parents got married while mom was pregnant with my older brother. And then I came along 3 years after him. I've been through a lot of fucked up shit in my life but I feel nothing has damaged me more (especially in the relationship department) than witnessing my parent's loveless marriage. I've been taught to believe that marriage is an annoyance, an inconvenience and an unfaithful union. So as someone who has that as an example of marriage, why would I ever want to get married?

JuliePurplehead said:

My parents got married while mom was pregnant with my older brother. And then I came along 3 years after him. I've been through a lot of fucked up shit in my life but I feel nothing has damaged me more (especially in the relationship department) than witnessing my parent's loveless marriage. I've been taught to believe that marriage is an annoyance, an inconvenience and an unfaithful union. So as someone who has that as an example of marriage, why would I ever want to get married?

That's too bad that you feel this way about marriage. My parents were married 60 years before my mom passed away. They had a very good marriage too. Certainly not perfect, but they tried very hard to support each other and do right by each other. They worked very hard and loved each other and us 3 kids. I've been married for 23 years and although nothing is perfect, I feel that I have a very good, solid marriage. It takes work and committment and unfortunately many people don't want to be bothered.

Empress said:

Efan said:

I think that's exactly it.

I tend to agree with this as well, but I also think we need to hear from those that are in this situation. I know there are people on this site who have had children with two or more different men although many that have married as well. I would like to hear what they have to say. I would also like to know why anyone would have a baby with someone they've only been with for a short period of time (ie: less than 1 year). Having children is no joke. It's a lifetime of responsibility. I believe many do it in an attempt to keep the relationship going and for attention as well.

Again... dead wrong.

The only difference between women who are single parents and women who are not are basically THE pregnancies.

Women have sex. Some get pregnant, some don't.

Women who do get pregnant and choose to keep the baby and raise it on their own has nothing to do with self-esteem issues.

ANY woman can have self-esteem issues, a women who does suffer from poor self-esteem doesn't get pregnant because of that reason. Making a connection that women who choose to have children out of wedlock must suffer from poor self-esteem is wrong. Dead wrong. Assuming all single mothers are head cases is wrong... really wrong. It is an insult on those strong women who choose to raise children up on their own despite their circumstances. Most single mothers are strong and independent women who choose to raise a family on her own.

Most single mothers tend to be younger also... so that blame falls on BOTH young men and women equally. Women do not self-conceive so single parenthood is not a "woman's issue"

it is an issue that stems from people just having sex before marriage.That issue comes from society at large that is fascinated by all things sexual. Its why sex sells.

Only abstinence is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy. Young couple are more likely to conceive especially if the young couple (GUY AND THE GIRL) are not as diligent about contraception or who they sleep with.

To imply that any woman that chose to give birth to a child before wedlock did so because she "needs attention" is insulting on a deep level.

Even if I wasn't a single mother, I would never come to that conclusion about single mothers.

Why would any person think women have babies on their own because they "need attention" or suffer from low self esteem?

So if that's true... wouldn't young men who get women pregnant also suffer from low self esteem also?

Why do young men get women pregnant? Are they needy too, or just the women?

Ottensen said:

LittleBLUECorvette said:

Making babies = Sex

Marriage = No Sex

Am I right??

Wrong.

More people should read Solomon. It's all about keeping it sexy in marriage .

Has more sex now ... married in my late 40s than when single in my early 20s !

and MUCH better sex at that !

JuliePurplehead said:

My parents got married while mom was pregnant with my older brother. And then I came along 3 years after him. I've been through a lot of fucked up shit in my life but I feel nothing has damaged me more (especially in the relationship department) than witnessing my parent's loveless marriage. I've been taught to believe that marriage is an annoyance, an inconvenience and an unfaithful union. So as someone who has that as an example of marriage, why would I ever want to get married?

I've seen my family marry, most of them divorce within ten years or so. My parents have had struggle but I think what keeps them going is after getting into a bickering disagreement, they can laugh about something the next day. I'm thinking their earlier pre-marriage days keep them going but they're also one of those couples who claim they got married the first day they met. Which is cute. But my other relatives haven't had such successful marriage. The only sibling of mine's I've seen have a successful marriage is my sister and my brother-in-law who live in Maryland. I got a brother who's involved with a loveless marriage and they have a kid (which my brother named after my grandfather and me ). So seeing all of that made me not wanna try it for myself. I know people may say it might be different for my scenario because "I'm a good man" but I don't need to marry someone to validate my love for a special someone.

paintedlady said:

Empress said:

I tend to agree with this as well, but I also think we need to hear from those that are in this situation. I know there are people on this site who have had children with two or more different men although many that have married as well. I would like to hear what they have to say. I would also like to know why anyone would have a baby with someone they've only been with for a short period of time (ie: less than 1 year). Having children is no joke. It's a lifetime of responsibility. I believe many do it in an attempt to keep the relationship going and for attention as well.

Again... dead wrong.

The only difference between women who are single parents and women who are not are basically THE pregnancies.

Women have sex. Some get pregnant, some don't.

Women who do get pregnant and choose to keep the baby and raise it on their own has nothing to do with self-esteem issues.

ANY woman can have self-esteem issues, a women who does suffer from poor self-esteem doesn't get pregnant because of that reason. Making a connection that women who choose to have children out of wedlock must suffer from poor self-esteem is wrong. Dead wrong. Assuming all single mothers are head cases is wrong... really wrong. It is an insult on those strong women who choose to raise children up on their own despite their circumstances. Most single mothers are strong and independent women who choose to raise a family on her own.

Most single mothers tend to be younger also... so that blame falls on BOTH young men and women equally. Women do not self-conceive so single parenthood is not a "woman's issue"

it is an issue that stems from people just having sex before marriage.That issue comes from society at large that is fascinated by all things sexual. Its why sex sells.

Only abstinence is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy. Young couple are more likely to conceive especially if the young couple (GUY AND THE GIRL) are not as diligent about contraception or who they sleep with.

To imply that any woman that chose to give birth to a child before wedlock did so because she "needs attention" is insulting on a deep level.

Even if I wasn't a single mother, I would never come to that conclusion about single mothers.

Why would any person think women have babies on their own because they "need attention" or suffer from low self esteem?

So if that's true... wouldn't young men who get women pregnant also suffer from low self esteem also?

Why do young men get women pregnant? Are they needy too, or just the women?

Right. Men are easily to blame for the pregnancies - THEY'RE the ones who delivered the SEED in the first place. They made the children equally but the man is definitely the PRODUCER of the soundtrack inside the woman's pussy. And to paint single motherhood as ones of people with low self esteem is baloney to me. I've seen single mothers who have thrived despite the circumstances. I should know, my mother was a single mother for about 17 years before she started dating my dad and despite everything, she did raise my brother as best as she could. Now he's a father of three and has a steady job so I'll say she did a good job.

[Edited 11/22/11 8:08am]

Empress said:

JuliePurplehead said:

My parents got married while mom was pregnant with my older brother. And then I came along 3 years after him. I've been through a lot of fucked up shit in my life but I feel nothing has damaged me more (especially in the relationship department) than witnessing my parent's loveless marriage. I've been taught to believe that marriage is an annoyance, an inconvenience and an unfaithful union. So as someone who has that as an example of marriage, why would I ever want to get married?

That's too bad that you feel this way about marriage. My parents were married 60 years before my mom passed away. They had a very good marriage too. Certainly not perfect, but they tried very hard to support each other and do right by each other. They worked very hard and loved each other and us 3 kids. I've been married for 23 years and although nothing is perfect, I feel that I have a very good, solid marriage. It takes work and committment and unfortunately many people don't want to be bothered.

I have a lot of respect for the few that can happily make it work. I hope one day that I can have this with someone but it takes two to tango and compromise is something that's rare nowadays. I agree that couples have to work at their relationships if they want them to be successful and might I add accepting responsibility in some of the crap is a big key to making it work.

^ That seems to be the number-one problem with marriages: people not willing or unable to accept that they have any contribution to the stupidity that makes couples fight and argue the way they do. Marriage is actually a very controversial subject. You have the media's interpretation of it being very happy with a horse and carriage, with two kids, and they live happily ever after and it's not like that. Then you have real life, and you find out marriage is much more complicated. I know some successful marriages that do deal with troubles like that but by the grace of God managed to work it out. Those that don't suffer not only being in a loveless, sometimes sexless marriage, but they also suffer low self-esteem. So being married doesn't always raise one's self-esteem if this is what people arguing about single motherhood being the cause of low self-esteem keep on stating.

Timmy84 said:

paintedlady said:

Again... dead wrong.

The only difference between women who are single parents and women who are not are basically THE pregnancies.

Women have sex. Some get pregnant, some don't.

Women who do get pregnant and choose to keep the baby and raise it on their own has nothing to do with self-esteem issues.

ANY woman can have self-esteem issues, a women who does suffer from poor self-esteem doesn't get pregnant because of that reason. Making a connection that women who choose to have children out of wedlock must suffer from poor self-esteem is wrong. Dead wrong. Assuming all single mothers are head cases is wrong... really wrong. It is an insult on those strong women who choose to raise children up on their own despite their circumstances. Most single mothers are strong and independent women who choose to raise a family on her own.

Most single mothers tend to be younger also... so that blame falls on BOTH young men and women equally. Women do not self-conceive so single parenthood is not a "woman's issue"

it is an issue that stems from people just having sex before marriage.That issue comes from society at large that is fascinated by all things sexual. Its why sex sells.

Only abstinence is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy. Young couple are more likely to conceive especially if the young couple (GUY AND THE GIRL) are not as diligent about contraception or who they sleep with.

To imply that any woman that chose to give birth to a child before wedlock did so because she "needs attention" is insulting on a deep level.

Even if I wasn't a single mother, I would never come to that conclusion about single mothers.

Why would any person think women have babies on their own because they "need attention" or suffer from low self esteem?

So if that's true... wouldn't young men who get women pregnant also suffer from low self esteem also?

Why do young men get women pregnant? Are they needy too, or just the women?

Right. Men are easily to blame for the pregnancies - THEY'RE the ones who delivered the SEED in the first place. They made the children equally but the man is definitely the PRODUCER of the soundtrack inside the woman's pussy. And to paint single motherhood as ones of people with low self esteem is baloney to me. I've seen single mothers who have thrived despite the circumstances. I should know, my mother was a single mother for about 17 years before she started dating my dad and despite everything, she did raise my brother as best as she could. Now he's a father of three and has a steady job so I'll say she did a good job.

[Edited 11/22/11 8:08am]

I think too many young men are too trusting and too irresponsible when it comes to contraception. Young men easily sleep with girls and trust that these girls use birth control and know their bodies.

I don't think many young people think ahead or realize how much they risk when they choose to have unprotected sex.

So IMHO its more of an issue of being too "care-free" as opposed to a lack of self-esteem.

paintedlady said:

Timmy84 said:

Right. Men are easily to blame for the pregnancies - THEY'RE the ones who delivered the SEED in the first place. They made the children equally but the man is definitely the PRODUCER of the soundtrack inside the woman's pussy. And to paint single motherhood as ones of people with low self esteem is baloney to me. I've seen single mothers who have thrived despite the circumstances. I should know, my mother was a single mother for about 17 years before she started dating my dad and despite everything, she did raise my brother as best as she could. Now he's a father of three and has a steady job so I'll say she did a good job.

[Edited 11/22/11 8:08am]

I think too many young men are too trusting and too irresponsible when it comes to contraception. Young men easily sleep with girls and trust that these girls use birth control and know their bodies.

I don't think many young people think ahead or realize how much they risk when they choose to have unprotected sex.

So IMHO its more of an issue of being too "care-free" as opposed to a lack of self-esteem.

Right.

JuliePurplehead said:

My parents got married while mom was pregnant with my older brother. And then I came along 3 years after him. I've been through a lot of fucked up shit in my life but I feel nothing has damaged me more (especially in the relationship department) than witnessing my parent's loveless marriage. I've been taught to believe that marriage is an annoyance, an inconvenience and an unfaithful union. So as someone who has that as an example of marriage, why would I ever want to get married?

No one I know is happily married either!

paintedlady said:

HotGritz said:

So uh....

why are people having all these babies but not getting married first or ever? Glutton for punishment?

people love to f@ck... all the time.

f@@king is good... if you like to f@ck all the time chances are....

Especially since its free... well... most times.

Guy or gal... people need to stop f@@@ing so much.

Why you gotta say it like that?