Graycap23 said:

The real reason? Cause woman aren't very smart.

Why would a woman have a baby by a man she is NOT married 2?

That is DUMB in more ways than 6ixx.

Wouldn't that apply to men too? Why would a man have a baby with a woman he is not married to and then bitch about paying child support for the next 18 years?

BlackAdder7 said:

low self esteem/self worth issues. they think if they have a baby, they will get alot of attention, and that they will receive love from the baby.

I think that's exactly it.

DysregulatedToxicity said:

Graycap23 said:

The real reason? Cause woman aren't very smart.

Why would a woman have a baby by a man she is NOT married 2?

That is DUMB in more ways than 6ixx.

Wouldn't that apply to men too? Why would a man have a baby with a woman he is not married to and then bitch about paying child support for the next 18 years?

I feel it applies to both.

But that part about women being stupid for having a baby for a man she's not married to is not always the case. I think a person would be stupid to have a baby by someone that they know aren't really 'in' that relationship. What I mean is, if you have a baby with someone already knowing that the other person is trifling or doesn't treat you right, then that's stupid. Having a baby to try and make someone stay around or to "make things work" is beyond stupid imo. But my sister and my brother in-law has been together for over 10 years and have 2 beautiful boys. They love eachother and their kids dearly but he just proposed to her a few years ago and it wasn't because he didn't want to but he was trying to save up to get her a nice ring. So, in reality, just because 2 folks aren't married doesn't mean it's not going to work or they won't get married.

kitbradley said:

Yeah, I think it's crazy when you ask an unmarried couple who has children together why they are not married? They often say, "We're not ready for that kind of a committment." Like having children and raising them together is not a committment!

I know, right?!

Graycap23 said:

The real reason? Cause woman aren't very smart.

You really don't like your mother at all, do you?

I have no idea why people are slow to marry. There's different trains of thought on it. Marriage has been on a slow decline since the 60's, with the flower children rebelling against their parent's conventions. Also, the rise of feminism, continuing on with marriage bashing by saying a woman is not reaching her full potential in a marriage because she's subservient (that's up for debate).

But I think there are two things stopping people from getting married. One, people are honestly afriad of commitment. And you can shake your head all you want, but it's true. Marriage is not just a ceremony and an exhange of vows. Marriage is also a legally binding contract, where the two adjoining parties are not just recognized by their friends and family, but also by the government. Meaning a lot of things are at stake. It makes it "official"...and that's a scary thought to many people.

The second reason is..marriage is more commercial nowadays...a business instead of a union of two people who love each other. You won't believe how often the line "We don't need a peice of paper to show we love each other" or "Marriage is too commercial, we're keepin' it organic." gets tossed around.

And lastly....why are people so slow to marry but quick to have kids. Because men can't keep they dick in they pants and women can't keep their legs shut until the "I do's". There...I've said it.

My two cents.

Marriage is not treated in the same way as it was before the late '60s. There's lots of unmarried folks who have children who are perfectly comfortable with NOT having a ring on their finger. They probably look at marriage as a contract and think they don't need a "contract" to be a commitment. Some people just don't flat out believe in marriage as some see it as an old tired institution or as something that their parents often try to force their hand on so they chose not to do that. Some are scared to marry because they get told the person "changes" once they get married. Sure not all marriages changes folks but I guess either their relatives have bad marriages or whatever so they're like "I'm not gonna be like that."

I can see my opinion won't be popular when it comes to this thread!

Fuck it.

[Edited 11/21/11 19:05pm]

Vendetta1 said:

Fuck it.

[Edited 11/21/11 19:05pm]

I typed a LONG ass response and said the SAME thing.

paintedlady said:

Vendetta1 said:

Fuck it.

[Edited 11/21/11 19:05pm]

I typed a LONG ass response and said the SAME thing.

I figured what is the point? My perspective on the matter is not going to change anyone's mind if theirs is not open enough to consider another side.

Vendetta1 said:

Fuck it.

[Edited 11/21/11 19:05pm]

Vendetta1 said:

paintedlady said:

I typed a LONG ass response and said the SAME thing.

I figured what is the point? My perspective on the matter is not going to change anyone's mind if theirs is not open enough to consider another side.

Might as well. I hate threads like this being one-sided. I already presented my argument that marriage may NOT be the key to "happiness" lol

I'm 34 years old and still haven't found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I may never find him. Does that mean I forgo my rights to have children because I don't meet other people's standards?

And what about the people who don't have rights to marry at all?

Why are people quick to make assumptions about unwed parents?

Vendetta1 said:

paintedlady said:

I typed a LONG ass response and said the SAME thing.

I figured what is the point? My perspective on the matter is not going to change anyone's mind if theirs is not open enough to consider another side.

I feel you on that sentiment.

Many women now expect a man to joyfully propose marriage and not feel like she is forcing his hand.... a pregnancy will not change that expectation. A man just wanting pussy and not marriage will not stop a pregnancy from happening.

Sex will cause pregancy... not marriage.

Efan said:

BlackAdder7 said:

low self esteem/self worth issues. they think if they have a baby, they will get alot of attention, and that they will receive love from the baby.

I think that's exactly it.

Dead wrong.

Not all single moms have self-esteem issues.

They are just women who had sex.

Does wanting sex before marrige mean that a person has self-esteem issues? I don't think so....

people have sex because they get horny. Its just that simple.

JuliePurplehead said:

I'm 34 years old and still haven't found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I may never find him. Does that mean I forgo my rights to have children because I don't meet other people's standards?

And what about the people who don't have rights to marry at all?

Why are people quick to make assumptions about unwed parents?

I'm still wondering that especially if the parents actually DO take care of their business. Like for instance, I bet there's tons of same-sex couples who can't marry but STILL are able to raise families or at least stay happily together after 20 years. I'm sure some people marry for love but there's also a good portion of people who only marry for status, for money, for this or for that. To be honest, marriage was said to be invented to stop someone's "sexual freedom". I forgot what century...lol

Chris Rock opened my mind to what marriage can bring and it's not love and happiness.

"If you get married, no blowjobs."

"If you get married, you won't fuck again."

I forgot what else he said besides telling women men won't "lick your pussy again" after marriage.

But apparently, for men, marriage means you have fellatio and have sexual intercourse in some nice bed.

And there's some who hate that lol but they stay married either for the kids or because they're reminded of WHY they married the person. Might not work for some but it works for them.

Some successful marriages hardly act like they ARE married.

HotGritz said:

So uh....

why are people having all these babies but not getting married first or ever? Glutton for punishment?

people love to f@ck... all the time.

f@@king is good... if you like to f@ck all the time chances are....

Especially since its free... well... most times.

Guy or gal... people need to stop f@@@ing so much.

wanted to get married ever since I was in high school....if after a year he doesn't propose I might leave...

peacenlovealways said:

wanted to get married ever since I was in high school....if after a year he doesn't propose I might leave...

Start dating other guys now.

paintedlady said:

peacenlovealways said:

wanted to get married ever since I was in high school....if after a year he doesn't propose I might leave...

Start dating other guys now.

I mean when I end up in a relationship

peacenlovealways said:

paintedlady said:

Start dating other guys now.

I mean when I end up in a relationship

Oh! Then just KEEP dating and have fun!

I personally think if you're gonna be single and enjoy your life, don't always have sex. That may save the trouble from having something that you don't want at that second lol but both genders don't think with their minds, they think with their sexual organs.

Timmy84 said:

nursev said:

Timmy84 said:

I personally think if you're gonna be single and enjoy your life, don't always have sex. That may save the trouble from having something that you don't want at that second lol but both genders don't think with their minds, they think with their sexual organs.

True...it's all about that hammer

And once that happens your life changes forever. You can't reverse a baby coming out not knowing what the fuck's up. That's why if I plan on being single, my goal would be to get my life in order before bringing another person (or two, #2 being a child lol) into the picture.

Timmy84 said:

Making babies = Sex

Marriage = No Sex

Am I right??