Well, I'm impressed by the way you all understand the essence of the message. Chapeau!

NDRU said:

Serious said:

NDRU said: I guess it is hard for a man to understand as they are usually not in these situations, but we women are. And yes it may not be fair but of course for me it makes a difference if I consider the man attractive or not. Just like as it makes a difference if I want to have sex with somebody or somebody forces me to have sex. Of course rape is a very strong word and I might not have chosen it, but it is not a nice feeling at all to be approached by men you don't want to be approached by. It gives you the feeling that somebody crosses your personal boundaries, so in that way it could be compared to rape probably.

approached, or looked at?

I can imagine it's annoying though. I look at some girl, and look left & right to see a dozen men staring at her too

But as my mom says, at some point they all stop looking.

That makes it okay and should be a relief for those girls, getting prayed upon? And when does that stop looking happen?

novabrkr said:

NDRU said:

I think "rape by look" is just meant as an expression, like "undressing you with my eyes" Obviously it is not literally true.

But like verbal abuse, I can see how it might be a violation of sorts.

Well, yes. You are right that it's not literally true. However, people can not be exempted from responsibility when they use expressions that are not literally true (or exaggerations). That word is just bound to evoke a lot of implications and using it in such a manner just doesn't benefit anyone. What you've quoted from me above was intended as a reply to Serious, though. Someone that you don't find attractive approaching you just cannot be compared to a rape. A lot of things in life aren't nice, but there are different manners to express the discomfort you may feel due to them.

For the most part I'd consider the original comment as just fairly typical internet nonsense that is popular especially with teenagers. It seems to be quite common to throw around the word "rape" quite carelessly these days (as in "raping" someone in an online game when you've won a match).

You really don't understand the message I conveyed. That happens a lot with men on the internet, throwing around nonsense. They love any excuse that makes it okay to sit in a public place and all stare at this girl, because of her enigmatic looks. You have no clue how that feels, day in day out. And all these guys somehow think they can make remarks, whistle, comment on looks and whatever they would want to convey. Day in day out.

Shaving your head, wearing baggy, old, ugly clothes doesn't even help. But hey, what a nonsense that is spread about on internet these days....Can you believe it?

JustErin said:

novabrkr said:

I tried googling "rape-by-look", but couldn't find anything.

I'm sorry, but that whole idea that simply looking at someone can be compared to rape is some of the worst bullshit that anyone has ever come up with. Unfortunately, it seems to have its origins in the academia. Of course, someone staring at you for a longer period of time can be intrusive by nature. It just gets pretty ugly when the idea of a "rape" is brought up when the other person simply isn't in your own "league".

I'm with you. Any victim of rape would take serious offense to this "rape-by-look" term.

I guess people have to endure it for year after year, day after day, in order to relate to the term. Some girls maybe would love to get that much attention of men. Howeve, they can choose to get it. Get long blond hair, wear heals, invest in clothes and make-up, do the men-manipulation by 'accidently' refering to your sex qualities, and BOOM, there's all the male attention you want in the world.

However, not every girl on this planet wants to have male attention all the time. I know what I'm talking about. I know rape and I know this kind of rape. It's inevitable when leaving the house and men are around.

Besides, as most rape victims know, the sexual look by men are a clue, a forebode if you will.

By the way, it doesn't surprise me how some disagree. I'm not going to try to explain it to people who aren't interested in what other people are conveying. Just stick to your opinion and dismiss anybody who doesn't align.

dJJ said:

NDRU said:

approached, or looked at?

I can imagine it's annoying though. I look at some girl, and look left & right to see a dozen men staring at her too

But as my mom says, at some point they all stop looking.

That makes it okay and should be a relief for those girls, getting prayed upon? And when does that stop looking happen?

Being looked at is being prayed upon?? Are you scared of men? Is this what all this is about?

.

[Edited 6/4/11 15:39pm]

[Edited 6/4/11 15:40pm]

Dont worry about it what u r doing is quite mormal blackbob eye do it all the time!! Eye must admit at times i also think god she must b 18/19 im like her dad!!but most the women eye sleep with call me daddy so it doesnt matter,U keep looking who knows one day u might get that sexy look back & the following morning wake up next 2 a 19 year old!!!! Good Luck blackbob.

cougar women rock

davetherave6767 said:

Dont worry about it what u r doing is quite mormal blackbob eye do it all the time!! Eye must admit at times i also think god she must b 18/19 im like her dad!!but most the women eye sleep with call me daddy so it doesnt matter,U keep looking who knows one day u might get that sexy look back & the following morning wake up next 2 a 19 year old!!!! Good Luck blackbob.

Wouldn't that be the ultimate proof of you succes as a man, huh?!

dJJ said:

novabrkr said:

Well, yes. You are right that it's not literally true. However, people can not be exempted from responsibility when they use expressions that are not literally true (or exaggerations). That word is just bound to evoke a lot of implications and using it in such a manner just doesn't benefit anyone. What you've quoted from me above was intended as a reply to Serious, though. Someone that you don't find attractive approaching you just cannot be compared to a rape. A lot of things in life aren't nice, but there are different manners to express the discomfort you may feel due to them.

For the most part I'd consider the original comment as just fairly typical internet nonsense that is popular especially with teenagers. It seems to be quite common to throw around the word "rape" quite carelessly these days (as in "raping" someone in an online game when you've won a match).

You really don't understand the message I conveyed. That happens a lot with men on the internet, throwing around nonsense. They love any excuse that makes it okay to sit in a public place and all stare at this girl, because of her enigmatic looks. You have no clue how that feels, day in day out. And all these guys somehow think they can make remarks, whistle, comment on looks and whatever they would want to convey. Day in day out.

Shaving your head, wearing baggy, old, ugly clothes doesn't even help. But hey, what a nonsense that is spread about on internet these days....Can you believe it?

"Enigmatic"?

Jesus.

Should have seen all along where you are coming from.

Nobody that's preserved his / her his grasp on how things work in the real world uses expressions like that when speaking about as serious issues as sex offenses. Not that your comment above displays much of an understanding of how feminist academics have used that concept.

dJJ said:

davetherave6767 said:

Dont worry about it what u r doing is quite mormal blackbob eye do it all the time!! Eye must admit at times i also think god she must b 18/19 im like her dad!!but most the women eye sleep with call me daddy so it doesnt matter,U keep looking who knows one day u might get that sexy look back & the following morning wake up next 2 a 19 year old!!!! Good Luck blackbob.

Wouldn't that be the ultimate proof of you succes as a man, huh?!

Men r from mars & women r from venus eye wouldnt xpect u 2 get it!.

vainandy said:

Well, I don't look for the opposite sex for anything except to compare tricks. But as far as men goes, I'm a whore, I'll have them all and ain't gonna turn no good looking man down regardless of his age. However, as far as preference goes, I prefer one near my age or a little older. The younger ones seem to have those tighter drawn up balls. I like the older ones because they've grown thicker bush over the years and their balls have dropped and hang lower. I like some hairy low hanging ball sacks.

u wouldnt like me then

davetherave6767 said:

Dont worry about it what u r doing is quite mormal blackbob eye do it all the time!! Eye must admit at times i also think god she must b 18/19 im like her dad!!but most the women eye sleep with call me daddy so it doesnt matter,U keep looking who knows one day u might get that sexy look back & the following morning wake up next 2 a 19 year old!!!! Good Luck blackbob.

blackbob said:

ZombieKitten said:

so I googled…

and wtf is THIS??? a cat?

.

.

WTF...!!!...WHAT END IS WHAT ?.....nah...andy wouldnt like those either...too baldy.. ..

.

how can you ladies ( and some guys ) find balls attractive is beyond me...

.

.

I never heard of a guy not liking balls? Not sexually, but just not liking? Well you did say attractive.

I find my own and other guy's balls attractive.

ZombieKitten said:

I'm not really noticing anyone under the age of 30-35

Man...then wtf am I stalking you for??

vainandy said:

Well, I don't look for the opposite sex for anything except to compare tricks. But as far as men goes, I'm a whore, I'll have them all and ain't gonna turn no good looking man down regardless of his age. However, as far as preference goes, I prefer one near my age or a little older. The younger ones seem to have those tighter drawn up balls. I like the older ones because they've grown thicker bush over the years and their balls have dropped and hang lower. I like some hairy low hanging ball sacks.

why did i just know Andy would come in here, and balls and body hair would be involved?

paisleypark4 said:

vainandy said:

Well, I don't look for the opposite sex for anything except to compare tricks. But as far as men goes, I'm a whore, I'll have them all and ain't gonna turn no good looking man down regardless of his age. However, as far as preference goes, I prefer one near my age or a little older. The younger ones seem to have those tighter drawn up balls. I like the older ones because they've grown thicker bush over the years and their balls have dropped and hang lower. I like some hairy low hanging ball sacks.

u wouldnt like me then

Oh yes I would. I just said what I prefer, but I have all kinds of dicks. Black dicks, white dicks, dicks standin' tall....long dicks, short dicks, give 'em to me all! I'd put your little ass in that bed and do my damndest to make them toes spread.

SUPRMAN said:

blackbob said:

.

.

WTF...!!!...WHAT END IS WHAT ?.....nah...andy wouldnt like those either...too baldy.. ..

.

how can you ladies ( and some guys ) find balls attractive is beyond me...

.

.

I never heard of a guy not liking balls? Not sexually, but just not liking? Well you did say attractive.

I find my own and other guy's balls attractive.

Hell yeah. Get them balls and play with 'em like a slinky.....

A slinky, a slinky, for fun it's a wonderful toy....

A slinky, a slinky, it's fun for a girl or a boy!

Ottensen said:

vainandy said:

Well, I don't look for the opposite sex for anything except to compare tricks. But as far as men goes, I'm a whore, I'll have them all and ain't gonna turn no good looking man down regardless of his age. However, as far as preference goes, I prefer one near my age or a little older. The younger ones seem to have those tighter drawn up balls. I like the older ones because they've grown thicker bush over the years and their balls have dropped and hang lower. I like some hairy low hanging ball sacks.

why did i just know Andy would come in here, and balls and body hair would be involved?

I don't think there's anything wrong with just looking, as long as you're discreet. I don't think anyone really likes to have someone all up in their grill with Last Tango In Paris-stalker gaze goin' on.

[Edited 6/6/11 0:36am]

FauxReal said:

ZombieKitten said:

I'm not really noticing anyone under the age of 30-35

Man...then wtf am I stalking you for??

Hurry up and grow some crows feet man!

This is a great thread and a topic me and my Male friends recently discussed - I am 37. It does feel wrong, but then it feels wrong taking a sneeky peek anyway. To be honest I have been married for a while now and I look at pretty much anyone who is attrcative, women or men, young or old. I feel guilt when I stare at a girl who is young but what can you do. I saw a girl in a resteraunt the other day looked like a 16 year old Denise Richards and I was in awe of her beauty, thats where it ended though. I just thought WOW, then carried on eating my pasta, then WOW, ate my salad, then WOW while I ate my desert, then WOW while I had coffee. When we had drinks after I had to swap seats. I still had another look as we left though.

I think the question is do women like being looked at becasue they are attractiove to somebody else, the age then is irrelavent. I also suppose there is looking and and then

PREDOMINANT said:

This is a great thread and a topic me and my Male friends recently discussed - I am 37. It does feel wrong, but then it feels wrong taking a sneeky peek anyway. To be honest I have been married for a while now and I look at pretty much anyone who is attrcative, women or men, young or old. I feel guilt when I stare at a girl who is young but what can you do. I saw a girl in a resteraunt the other day looked like a 16 year old Denise Richards and I was in awe of her beauty, thats where it ended though. I just thought WOW, then carried on eating my pasta, then WOW, ate my salad, then WOW while I ate my desert, then WOW while I had coffee. When we had drinks after I had to swap seats. I still had another look as we left though.

I think the question is do women like being looked at becasue they are attractiove to somebody else, the age then is irrelavent. I also suppose there is looking and and then

No.

Would you like to have the same looks by all the men in the restaurant that you (and the other men) give her? How would you feel walking around and having all these looks at you all day, by men who look at you and convey that they want to f*** you?

dJJ said:

PREDOMINANT said:

This is a great thread and a topic me and my Male friends recently discussed - I am 37. It does feel wrong, but then it feels wrong taking a sneeky peek anyway. To be honest I have been married for a while now and I look at pretty much anyone who is attrcative, women or men, young or old. I feel guilt when I stare at a girl who is young but what can you do. I saw a girl in a resteraunt the other day looked like a 16 year old Denise Richards and I was in awe of her beauty, thats where it ended though. I just thought WOW, then carried on eating my pasta, then WOW, ate my salad, then WOW while I ate my desert, then WOW while I had coffee. When we had drinks after I had to swap seats. I still had another look as we left though.

I think the question is do women like being looked at becasue they are attractiove to somebody else, the age then is irrelavent. I also suppose there is looking and and then

No.

Would you like to have the same looks by all the men in the restaurant that you (and the other men) give her? How would you feel walking around and having all these looks at you all day, by men who look at you and convey that they want to f*** you?

I think I can speak for 95% of the women AND men here... Yes, we like to be looked at! I like to know I can still grab a mans glance... Its flattering... Ive had men whistle, make comments and stare like most everyone else here and I just smile and continue on my way with a smile on my face cuz at 43 years old I STILL got it..

Very rarely it has gotten creepy enough I got scared... You should stop making men here feel like creepy pedophiles for enjoying the looks of a women... You are NOT the norm here... We get your feelings, jumping down the throats of everyone here isnt going to change your fear and disgust with men... maybe you should get some help

tinaz said:

dJJ said:

No.

Would you like to have the same looks by all the men in the restaurant that you (and the other men) give her? How would you feel walking around and having all these looks at you all day, by men who look at you and convey that they want to f*** you?

I think I can speak for 95% of the women AND men here... Yes, we like to be looked at! I like to know I can still grab a mans glance... Its flattering... Ive had men whistle, make comments and stare like most everyone else here and I just smile and continue on my way with a smile on my face cuz at 43 years old I STILL got it..

Very rarely it has gotten creepy enough I got scared... You should stop making men here feel like creepy pedophiles for enjoying the looks of a women... You are NOT the norm here... We get your feelings, jumping down the throats of everyone here isnt going to change your fear and disgust with men... maybe you should get some help

Yeah. Good advice. Thank you Tinaz.

Me:

Doctor, can you please help me?

it upsets me when men giving me that prayer look when in a restaurant, in the subway, walking on the street. I just want them to leave me alone and not have their eyes all over me.

Doctor:

Stop complaining about it! Every other woman would be so happy to have men looking at her constantly in that way. You should be very thankfull for all the sexually loaded attention you get! You should be thankful for the stalkers and the jalous girls getting evil to you.

No, go back home and feel guilty about you critisism of all these men! They are free to give girls that look if they want to. Even if that girl gets that look every day, all the time.

Hush, go home.

dJJ said:

PREDOMINANT said:

This is a great thread and a topic me and my Male friends recently discussed - I am 37. It does feel wrong, but then it feels wrong taking a sneeky peek anyway. To be honest I have been married for a while now and I look at pretty much anyone who is attrcative, women or men, young or old. I feel guilt when I stare at a girl who is young but what can you do. I saw a girl in a resteraunt the other day looked like a 16 year old Denise Richards and I was in awe of her beauty, thats where it ended though. I just thought WOW, then carried on eating my pasta, then WOW, ate my salad, then WOW while I ate my desert, then WOW while I had coffee. When we had drinks after I had to swap seats. I still had another look as we left though.

I think the question is do women like being looked at becasue they are attractiove to somebody else, the age then is irrelavent. I also suppose there is looking and and then

No.

Would you like to have the same looks by all the men in the restaurant that you (and the other men) give her? How would you feel walking around and having all these looks at you all day, by men who look at you and convey that they want to f*** you?

I don't know how I would feel, except that when a woman takes a look at me, it makes me feel good, happy.

I never said I wanted to fuck her, just look at her. I also never think women who stare at me want to necesarily fuck me, I don't see the two as linked.

PREDOMINANT said:

dJJ said:

No.

Would you like to have the same looks by all the men in the restaurant that you (and the other men) give her? How would you feel walking around and having all these looks at you all day, by men who look at you and convey that they want to f*** you?

I don't know how I would feel, except that when a woman takes a look at me, it makes me feel good, happy.

I never said I wanted to fuck her, just look at her. I also never think women who stare at me want to necesarily fuck me, I don't see the two as linked.

and what if it weren't women who are giving you that look, however all the men would give you that look? Because I feel there is a difference between 'the look' of men compared to 'the look' by women.

dJJ maybe you wanna figure out a permanent and drastic way to make your self unattractive since it seems to be such a heavy cross to bear for you.

You cant stop people from looking at you.... it's human nature...hell I stare at hot guys too. Unless someone is invading your personal space and god forbid assaults you....it should be flattering in the case of either sex ..maybe annoying at best to some people....in my case sometimes annoying with cat calls cause I get embarrased but just looks? It really shouldn't be so traumatic.

lavender1983 said:

dJJ maybe you wanna figure out a permanent and drastic way to make your self unattractive since it seems to be such a heavy cross to bear for you.

You cant stop people from looking at you.... it's human nature...hell I stare at hot guys too. Unless someone is invading your personal space and god forbid assaults you....it should be flattering in the case of either sex ..maybe annoying at best to some people....in my case sometimes annoying with cat calls cause I get embarrased but just looks? It really shouldn't be so traumatic.

I already once shave my head bold.

Wearing out of date baggy clothes.

Got fat. All the fat just went to the upperfront. Really didn't help.

No, it shouldn't be so traumatic. However, as a kid all the guys were in love with me (I was a tomboy ) and girls hating me for that. When I was 14, there was this guy who was picked out of the sea (I lived at the coast back then) because I didn't talk to him. I didn't even know this guy!

I once couldn't leave a club, and sat there till 9 in the morning (accompanied by the staff and it turned out in a great party) because some guy was slamming at the doors and shouting my name and throwing all this drama around. Again, I didn't even know who he was.

There have been a couple of fights. And I didn't even want to be involved with the guys. Why fight over someone who doesn't even want you?

I was escorted home every night by security after that incident.

I can get on and on. However, I hear you all.

I just should get over it. And for all the guys on this thread, it must be so great, they have women responding to me in their defense.

I'll stop confronting people with gawking men. They should be free to that to teenage girls, whenever they want, I guess.

And the girl just shouldn't complain about it.