ImmanuelKunt: Ladies, allow me to propose a Categorical Fuck Imperative. I propose that orality can be derived rationally and objectively and need not follow traditional oral theories.

DavidHumePussyMaster: Your theory is folly in that is is merely a dialectical interpretation of traditional orality and offers nothing new in the way of oral gratification. Furthermore, you leave unanswered the age-old question "is it better to give or to recieve?" thereby leaving it up the the participants to argue over who goes first in the absence of the knowledge of the sixty-nine position.

E+LotsOfFucking=MC2: Learned colleagues, please allow me to present my theory of time travel, as allowed by intense gravitation and hard fucking. If one can harness the power of the pussy and manipulate it and control it by virtue of a massive gravitational field, it should be theoretically possible to travel back in time through a sperm-hole and create a time-loop, thus allowing the traveler to experience an eternal orgasm.

StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: Your theory is flawed in that it does not address the problems of divergent universes. You cannot be certain that you will travel to a universe that is like the one you left, therefore the pussy that you are fucking in the past need not follow our established laws of physics. Indeed, you could end up in a land without pussy and find your cock inserted into a gopher hole.

E+LotsOfFucking=MC2: Are you proposing some kind of Pussy Uncertainty Principle??? Absurd!

StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: Listen, the more precisely we know the tightness of the pussy, the less precisely we know the properties of lubrication. The very nature of our measurements is intrusive and changes the system in irreversible ways.

E+LotsOfFucking=MC2: Ridiculous! God does not play dice with the pussy!!! I believe that it is possible to know all states of the pussy simultaneously and that we only need to discover this variable.

ImmanuelKunt: Lo, where your fallacies take you! Can you not be satisfied with the pussy that the Lord has provided you without proposing heretical ideas of altering the universe to suit your hedonistic goals?

DavidHumePussyMaster: Gentlemen... I am interested in your theories and I believe that your suggestions offer a fresh view of dynamic pussy theory!

CopernicusHeadJob has entered the chat

StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: E+LotsOfFucking=MC2, my mildly retarded friend, need I remind you of the results of the double-slit experiment and the solution to the EPR (Einstein Pussy Reaming) Paradox?

E+LotsOfFucking=MC2: Horseshit! I have never been satisfied with those findings and I will never accept the idea of sexual action at a distance!!! Orgasms from cyber-sex chat relationships are still governed by discoverable laws of sexual physics.

CopernicusHeadJob: Hello, everyone. I have come to propose my theory of the "round the world job" in relation to astronomical satisfaction in oral gratification! Men have believed that the world revolved around their cocks for FAR too long! I propose stimulation of not only the cock, but also the balls and the prostate! Indeed, the sun (giver of blow jobs and by extension the light in the previously dark world of the blow job recipient) clearly is the center of the sexual universe.

DavidHumePussyMaster: Well, Copernicus, I have always been interested in Uranus. Do you think you could meet me in private chat and we could discuss your theories?

StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: Listen, Einstein, we know that the results were conclusive and reproduceable! Can't you admit your mistakes and just masturbate with the rest of us?

ImmanuelKunt: I find your ramblings in physics to be nothing more than a mathematical form of metaphysics and I reject everything that you have said! The MIND plays an active part in all orgasms and you cannot disallow the influence of such! Your sterile and clinical observations of fucking leave the MIND out of the equation and render the fucking useless.

E+LotsOfFucking=MC2: Your theories would imply that we could fuck the pussy at a rate greater than the speed of light. This is nonsense!!! The density of your penis would become so great that it would fall through the floor and maintaining a hard-on would be about as likely as your hopping out of your chair and actually fucking a woman! You and your senseless theories! Your theories are nothing but flights of fancy!

AynRandy has entered the chat

CopernicusHeadJob: Okay, Hume... but you better not mess around and come too quick or I will cut your balls off and shoot them into space like the world's smallest communications satellites, you impotent prick! Bring that cock over here!

AynRandy: I have been watching this chat with great enthusiasm and I must say that I think all of you need to bow down before my riding crop and accept my wisdom. Since man is basically a heroic being with his own happiness as the goal of his life, I must punish you to satisfy my own desires and my triumph over your debautchery will be heroic, thus validating my worth!

AynRandy: Who wants to lick my boots and feel the sting of my riding crop?

PurplePower has entered the chat

PurplePower: Hi, Prince! I would LOVE to lick your boots and feel the sweet sting of your riding crop!

DavidHumePussyMaster: My god! I would never have believed the power of the Copernicum system! WoooHooo!

CopernicusHeadJob: Get back in here and don't try to run off with that butt-plug, you insignificant worm!

ImmanuelKunt: Hmmm... Copernicus, I am very curious to learn of your new system of rectal stimulation and oral gratification. Could you teach me, please?

ReneDesPussyFartes has just entered the chat

DavidHumePussyMaster: Wait your turn, ImmanuelKunt! I have not yet had my fill of this glorious new system of heavenly bodies! Let us all praise Copernicus!!!

ImmanuelKunt: Could you penetrate both our asses at the same time, Copernicus? Please?

ReneDesPussyFartes: All this talk of ass play has made me rethink my theory of the soul's interaction with the body. If such pleasure is derived from the stimulation of the prostate, the soul must not interact with the body through the pineal gland as I had originally thought. Yes, the prostate must be the interaction point for the soul's enrichment by bodily experience. Indded, the animal spirits must flow most freely through the penis of the male and the clitoris of the female.

PurplePower: Prince?

StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: You think you're funny, Einstein? I have created a method for engorging my penis with blood and a machine to thrust it vigorously into the waiting vagina of a willing female recipient. Though my body is confined to a wheelchair, my mind is free to roam the sexual cosmos. I know exponentially more ways to satisfy a woman than you could ever conceive, and I can act them out by electronic means with a precision that you could never manage with your meager, non-computerized tool.

AynRandy: Copernicus, I propose that we combine our efforts and dominate these men and their insignificant sexuality. Through their own reason, these men will come to realize the value of the stimulation that we provide. Indeed, reason is the only method by which we might understand the ethical value of genital stimulation!

DavidHumePussyMaster: Okay, guys... we can all get together and go for it! I am open to life experiences.

ReneDesPussyFartes: Oh, how the lives of men can be enriched by this knew knowledge of the prostate. The lord must surely be great to create such a pleasure center and to conceal it so cleverly in order to allow his children the opportunity to search and find the truth. This must surely be proof of God's eternal goodness and his desire to imbue his creation with free-will. Praise God!

CopernicusHeadJob: Let's all meet in private chat and we can spank each other's asses with a copy of "Principia Mathematica" by Bertrand Russell and Alfred North Whitehead.

....
[This message was edited Mon Jan 27 13:07:50 PST 2003 by IceNine]

I fear that the jokes involved in this imaginary chat will be missed by 99.95% of the population.

Sorry...

What meds do they have u on now? :LOL:

Berry said:

The doctor prescribed 500mg of Carl Sagan's ashes twice a day.

OK :Lol: I can't help it... I give in that was funny as hell!

"StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: Your theory is flawed in that it does not address the problems of divergent universes. You cannot be certain that you will travel to a universe that is like the one you left, therefore the pussy that you are fucking in the past need not follow our established laws of physics. Indeed, you could end up in a land without pussy and find your cock inserted into a gopher hole."

Muse2noPharaoh said:

This is a BILLION times harder to write than the other stuff... :LOL:

You're seriously trying to become a chatter, huh?

That was entertainment- porn with a point! lol

Moonbeam said:

I will become a chatter if I have to talk to myself all damned day!!!

:LOL:

BTW: I found those songs you sent me!

AbucahX said:

I agree that was the best one

IceNine said:

Did you indulge?

Muse2noPharaoh said:

BUT:

This was the best exchange, in that it is an accurate, albeit very twisted variation on the Copenhagen Interpretation and quantum physics as applied to genital stimulation:

StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: Listen, the more precisely we know the tightness of the pussy, the less precisely we know the properties of lubrication. The very nature of our measurements is intrusive and changes the system in irreversible ways.

E+LotsOfFucking=MC2: Ridiculous! God does not play dice with the pussy!!! I believe that it is possible to know all states of the pussy simultaneously and that we only need to discover this variable.


:LOL:

IceNine said:

:Lol:

IceNine said:

jubal H: errr anyone wanna cyber

That was great Ice ...you should write a book with all kinds of clever shorts I would most definately buy it
[This message was edited Mon Jan 27 9:53:59 PST 2003 by GIOVANNI]

GIOVANNI said:

There is more of this chat to come... I am just busy with work and couldn't complete it yet...

Two female characters will be entering soon:

AynRandy and CopernicusHeadJob

Im serious about the book

You have an envy worthy imagination

IceNine has been saved by chat!

CopernicusHeadJob has entered the chat

StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: E+LotsOfFucking=MC2, my mildly retarded friend, need I remind you of the results of the double-slit experiment and the solution to the EPR (Einstein Pussy Reaming) Paradox?

E+LotsOfFucking=MC2: Horseshit! I have never been satisfied with those findings and I will never accept the idea of sexual action at a distance!!! Orgasms from cyber-sex chat relationships are still governed by discoverable laws of sexual physics.

CopernicusHeadJob: Hello, everyone. I have come to propose my theory of the "round the world job" in relation to astronomical satisfaction in oral gratification! Men have believed that the world revolved around their cocks for FAR too long! I propose stimulation of not only the cock, but also the balls and the prostate! Indeed, the sun (giver of blow jobs and by extension the light in the previously dark world of the blow job recipient) clearly is the center of the sexual universe.

DavidHumePussyMaster: Well, Copernicus, I have always been interested in Uranus. Do you think you could meet me in private chat and we could discuss your theories?

StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: Listen, Einstein, we know that the results were conclusive and reproduceable! Can't you admit your mistakes and just masturbate with the rest of us?

ImmanuelKunt: I find your ramblings in physics to be nothing more than a mathematical form of metaphysics and I reject everything that you have said! The MIND plays an active part in all orgasms and you cannot disallow the influence of such! Your sterile and clinical observations of fucking leave the MIND out of the equation and render the fucking useless.

E+LotsOfFucking=MC2: Your theories would imply that we could fuck the pussy at a rate greater than the speed of light. This is nonsense!!! The density of your penis would become so great that it would fall through the floor and maintaining a hard-on would be about as likely as your hopping out of your chair and actually fucking a woman! You and your senseless theories! Your theories are nothing but flights of fancy!

AynRandy has entered the chat

CopernicusHeadJob: Okay, Hume... but you better not mess around and come too quick or I will cut your balls off and shoot them into space like the world's smallest communications satellites, you impotent prick! Bring that cock over here!

AynRandy: I have been watching this chat with great enthusiasm and I must say that I think all of you need to bow down before my riding crop and accept my wisdom. Since man is basically a heroic being with his own happiness as the goal of his life, I must punish you to satisfy my own desires and my triumph over your debautchery will be heroic, thus validating my worth!

"StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: Listen, the more precisely we know the tightness of the pussy, the less precisely we know the properties of lubrication. The very nature of our measurements is intrusive and changes the system in irreversible ways. "

Beautiful.

Doves,
Mel!ssa

This is brilliant.

REDFEATHERS said:

I am a chatter!

:LOL:

This is some fucked up shit, Ice...it's a little too bizarre to be funny, but I'm impressed with what you were able to come up with so far, given the task.

AynRandy: Who wants to lick my boots and feel the sting of my riding crop?

PurplePower has entered the chat

PurplePower: Hi, Prince! I would LOVE to lick your boots and feel the sweet sting of your riding crop!

DavidHumePussyMaster: My god! I would never have believed the power of the Copernicum system! WoooHooo!

CopernicusHeadJob: Get back in here and don't try to run off with that butt-plug, you insignificant worm!

ImmanuelKunt: Hmmm... Copernicus, I am very curious to learn of your new system of rectal stimulation and oral gratification. Could you teach me, please?

ReneDesPussyFartes has just entered the chat

DavidHumePussyMaster: Wait your turn, ImmanuelKunt! I have not yet had my fill of this glorious new system of heavenly bodies! Let us all praise Copernicus!!!

ImmanuelKunt: Could you penetrate both our asses at the same time, Copernicus? Please?

ReneDesPussyFartes: All this talk of ass play has made me rethink my theory of the soul's interaction with the body. If such pleasure is derived from the stimulation of the prostate, the soul must not interact with the body through the pineal gland as I had originally thought. Yes, the prostate must be the interaction point for the soul's enrichment by bodily experience. Indded, the animal spirits must flow most freely through the penis of the male and the clitoris of the female.

PurplePower: Prince?

StephenHawkingsGiantBoner: You think you're funny, Einstein? I have created a method for engorging my penis with blood and a machine to thrust it vigorously into the waiting vagina of a willing female recipient. Though my body is confined to a wheelchair, my mind is free to roam the sexual cosmos. I know exponentially more ways to satisfy a woman than you could ever conceive, and I can act them out by electronic means with a precision that you could never manage with your meager, non-computerized tool.

AynRandy: Copernicus, I propose that we combine our efforts and dominate these men and their insignificant sexuality. Through their own reason, these men will come to realize the value of the stimulation that we provide. Indeed, reason is the only method by which we might understand the ethical value of genital stimulation!

DavidHumePussyMaster: Okay, guys... we can all get together and go for it! I am open to life experiences.

ReneDesPussyFartes: Oh, how the lives of men can be enriched by this knew knowledge of the prostate. The lord must surely be great to create such a pleasure center and to conceal it so cleverly in order to allow his children the opportunity to search and find the truth. This must surely be proof of God's eternal goodness and his desire to imbue his creation with free-will. Praise God!

CopernicusHeadJob: Let's all meet in private chat and we can spank each other's asses with a copy of "Principia Mathematica" by Bertrand Russell and Alfred North Whitehead.

I compiled the entire chat in the first post now...

It is getting very difficult to do this one...

SexLovely said:

I would love to do more, but that shit is somewhat more difficult because I am trying to make their sayings match their actual philosophies and such... it is a bitch.

Wouldn't DesPussyFartes be sayin' "I cum, therefore, I am"??..."Our imagined fantasies validate that these fantisies do indeed exist and take place"??...

Sheesh, Ice, what you wrote took some time, smarts and creativity...cudos...!!

wellbeyond said:

I like your ReneDesPussyFartes comment! That was a classic! :LOL:

That really should have been there.

IceNine said:

Well it was extremely good T.

AND, I actually understood it!! Had 2 swallow a few dictionarys but I think I just about got the jist of it...