OK, I'll start


First you enter through the front gates (which opens at random times throughout the day forcing tourist to stand out in the cold and rain for hours) before coming up to the ticket booth.

The booths take Cash or Credit, but you're not allowed entrance into the park until at least 250 thousand people have bought tickets that day.

When finally in the park, the first ride is Graham Central Station's career rollercoaster with so many drops on it, that it could make you sick.



your turn...

And don't forget to stop by the Horny Pony petting zoo!

it wouldn't be an amusement park without the over the top, really bad acting/singing midway entertainment shows. you know with all the old prince protoges. with really bad dance numbers.....

if anyone looks any member of personell in their eyes the park
will be immediately closed. no refunds for any of the visitors

once you're inside, you'll find that 80% of the rides
charge an extra entrance fee on top of park entrance.

and then there's the barely legal latinas free entrance Wednesday Afternoons

the horror house will feature samples of all protege women
breathing heavily and moaning in xtc. also there will be a
loop playing of prince eating a mango as heard on "come".

at the end of the cave will be Kim Basingers Weeping Well,
where you can leave your coins and make a wish (if u pay
close attention you can see Tony M with a net at bottom of
the well

The Continental Skate Hall

diamond and pearl will check your heavily priced ticket at the doors,
everyone strip down to boxers and negligé, strap on some rollerskates
and let the fun begin. beware, rosie gaines is in the house and she's
ready to rumble

you want to go to the toilet?

yes miss Easton

well, where's your credit card, son?

credit card?

want to have a quiet dinner with your spouse? leave da kids wit
our qualified personell for an hour while we entertain them and
style their hair into the typical 1993 Prince Typhoon "do"

IstenSzek said:

IstenSzek said:

SOMEONE GIVE ME A MOP, I JUST MADE A MESS ON THE FLOOR.....

There's also a major musical show called " - The dawn ", originally titled "Honey I shrunk my career"

Don't forget the Haunted Martika's Kitchen ride!

Next, the The Tevin Campbell Cordless Bungee Jump - for that swift career drop to oblivion.

and The Tamar Jumpless Bungee Jump - when your career has nowhere to fall from.

PopeLeo said:

oh shit

Also remember to stop by the Soft and Wet petting zoo

For a quick bite to eat run by the Starfish and Coffee Cafe

(I know that sucks, but that's all I got.)

loisclark88 said:

Thanks for participating.

I was afraid I might get banned for bumping the thread with my lame posts.

I thought I was the only one who made up Prince theme parks...hilarious. This one's like ten times better though.

All I came up with before I knew of this thread was something about a road that splits off onto Alphabet St. and Crazy...ya know, so you can go crazy. And I made it so the whole park is shaped like a stick figure doing the splits. I even mapped it out. What a nut job am I.

Protege said:

No, I do it all the time. Hey, if MJ can have Neverland Ranch, Prince can have The Digital Garden

Oh man, this made me laugh so hard it hurt!

How about riding the 'Clockin' The Jizz Log Flume'?

And don't forget: for that authentic Digital Garden experience, you can have your photo taken right at the end when you get all... 'wet',
then they'll snatch it back from you and rip that MF'n film out in front of your sobbing kids faces.

The kiddies will love the Return of the Bumpercars ride...

How about the Play in the Sunshine waterpark?

And how can you resist the Spooky Electric haunted house?

BananaCologne said:

HAHAHAH, stop by the face painting booth for your very own "SLAVE" scribble.

jerseykrs said:

My favorite attraction would have to be the one called "The Vault". All the signs point to a great ride but it's just one long line that leads nowhere.
Heeeeyyyyy

IstenSzek said:

Good lord.....That had me on the ground

Imago said:

oh shit! i hope the bathrooms are designed right

and the tony m diner serves corndogs