It's enough to make anyone weep. It's not expected one such as i would have a win, what i consider a win anyway, in this life, especially the cyber world. Sucked in! I'll play them for all they are worth i think. I rang the ombudsmans office and made a complaint that even though, it was only 'bit coin', fairy money it was still an amount of credit i had made by keeping the pre-paid rolling over. I do not like the feeling of any constraint when i am trying to communicate with another person. Josh rang from the telco today, they are going to give me a 50 refund when this lot of credit runs out, now there we go darlings, as i don't allow my credit to run down i won't be ringing him for that refund. I get over what i feel is not worth my effort. I don't think this is such a case. I want a win in this and if he thinks he charmed me into agreeing to that resolution, well sucked in dear boy. It only just occurred to me from writing it on here that i won't be ringing him anyway i want another state of power by having that credit high enough to phone uk and usa anytime i want. It pissed me off no end when i was in the middle of downloading Gurrumul. He has the voice of an Angel, he's beautiful and Black. Bawled my eyes out singing, or mumbling along to 'Bapa.' 'Father' in english. I nearly had that one, i Love the language. I played the cd player and then twigged i could use the portable one many Moons ago, now it's on the iPhone on the shuffle with all the others, 603. Ridiculous, i like learning new songs. I had some curfuffle on the itunes with what i think might be over compensating for that discourtesy from U2 granting me a boon i did not seek in the first place. I know how crazy generous u yanks are. I Love the same way. U got a whole lota Love. With every book i read by an American i learnt to be very thankful for the open mindedness and wholehearted generosity with which this stuff was being shared with the world. God Bless America, i have always. I Love u the more i know of u. I need to weep. So, there appears to be some duplications. It might have been ambiguous to say it, the U2 album stopped some of the Prince from downloading, it only slowed it down because it took up data i did not want to use for them. I am not a U2 fan. Sorry but there it is, not my cup of tea whereas, u lot know what i like. Hello u. Does she know i love her work too? I must try to be more congenial, but i'm too up myself. If u don't have what Prince has i'm not interested. U don't so there it is there is only one Prince. I do enjoy her sense of humor though. According to the telco i was on the receiving end of downloads for 49 and a half hours on Friday. Or combined Thursday and Friday, that's when those 50 odd downloads appeared on the iPhone. Now it turns out that i have to turn off the mobile data to stop these rather costly ads from coming through and other random stuff from coming on. There was a flash across the top url just then. My peripheral vison is acute i was bashed for seven years. I am supposed to be flattered that i would be considered worth monitoring am i? Fools. I couldn't be bothered, my next move is to vanish. I'm suffocating just now. There is an electrician booked to come tomorrow to install the 'wired in' fire alarm, after that i'm off. I don't have to be here until the 17th. I takes the dongle and the laptop and this is on there so it goes where i go. I'm not grafted on to this machine, 8 years old and still going good. It would be even better if i knew how to use it. Beyond this i mean. I couldn't cope my mind's blown enough as it is. I can barely cope with this as it is. I'm from the last century remember. Yes, my problem with 'precedent law' is that the precendents were set in a time before electricity and combustion engines and this is a whole lot more complicated now. I did not give permission to the car manufacturers to pollute my air just to enable me to fang around faster and meet the future a whole lot sooner too. Hello fingers. I'm pished. I had a double Southern after i ate, washed the dishes, left the pans for later if i like. I have other things to do. This trumps the dishes. I only waited for the pain killer to work on the left shoulder, centre spine, area, boosted by the booze. I need a cup of tea now i'm dehydrated by the sugar in the Southern. Oh God he's hot, i need to cool off. It could have been a triple, gee it's good. Hot though. I'll have to strip in a minute. I haven't got half the layers i usually have on either. There's a bit of an ecumenical thing going on here about climate change. Good, that will grow. I haven't used half the electric to keep warm, i'm not giving money away, i've put more clothes on. My dress is dictated by what i can wash easily. I don't have any wool dresses, they would spoil in the washing machine. I only wear dresses in summer. I'm only bad tempered about injustice to anyone and me. As well, America, a million kisses from all the women around the world that Love soccer as i do. I'm glad to see it's being cleaned up. Now let's see some women on the international board boys shall we! Yes we are just as corruptible but as usual we have always to prove we are more virtuous as well. It's not new. I Love that Prince song, 'Cream.' 'Make the rules and break 'em all coz u r the best.' To me that means that first i've identified the thing i am the best at and so i'm making my own rules as i've surpassed all those that were there before, now it's my turn. Maestro that he is. There's a promo on the national broadcaster giving music it's dues just now. They also have a cartoon called, 'Hairy Legs.' So cute. It's a new one. Polly waffle, parliament question time on the tv is cartoon time for me if i'm resting up. The field got mowed yesterday so i'm mowing as long as it stays dry this week. The grass is wet all day this time of year. I trod on a mound of 'Wormzilla's' castings it was like scaling Mount Kilimanjaro, i might catch some of these creatures and hire them out. I'm not joking the mound was large enough to bend my ankle up at an unusually high angle. That was one big worm. God Bless Her, Mother is working overtime to drain this swamp for me. Poor worms they must be drowning too. Apart from the odd car here and there, it's silent here, well as much as the day in day out tinitus allows, that is. The fridge has had some kind of miracle happen to it. I stuck this wire against one of the wings on the gas pipeline (Freon gas?) it looks like an Earth wire, it's green and yellow stripes. Since, the element hasn't frozen up. It's not me it's a miracle. I like to keep God's Hand in. It's even rather frost free like it's supposed to be, how did i do that, i didn't. I know i was sick of it frosting up and having to turn it off all the time to unfreeze the fan. I'm too hot now, i have to cool off AGAIN! I know it's the tea. I want another one. I don't have any reason to stay here but i do have that Mother thing to think of. I got on my son's nerves this afternoon about expecting me to go to the city on my own on a train for hours alone. This young man, he's turning 30, so provisional adult stage, thinks it's perfectly safe for an old woman alone on public transport. This is the thing, it's not full of first class people. My son would sooner resent me for putting him in this situation than help me get a driver's license even though i don't want one unless i'm getting an electric car. I don't want to waste money on gas/petrol. My son has short term pleasure ahead of long term peace. I didn't teach him that. I can guarantee he's going to learn it. He's sure i'll be here all the time anytime he wants me. We children always think that. Life has other ideas. I got rose thorned in the ego yesterday. I have to curb it. It's what i use when i've felt dragged down, like with losing the credit on the phone. I now have to build it up again before i can phone my nephew or brother in uk. They are both 'Robert' for my Father, my brother is the old fogey, 12 years older, he's got a son called Robert too, nephew is closer in age, i can't recall how much a few years only. He could be 59 years. I Love it when i look at that and feel it's a pack of bull crap. Oh, that means the painkillers have taken effect. I had two with dinner. I'm supposed to keep them up to it. 2 morning, 2 noon and 2 at night. Sod that, i'll rattle with them. Silly really i don't know myself when i'm pain free. I just can't cope with taking pills all the time to maintain it. I'm in denial i'm stuck with this needing them for the rest of my life as i slide into it. Imagine me screaming this, i don't like taking pills. EVER. Liquid medicine, herbs, stinky as no problem, swallow pills, i gag. I'm not settled into any routine i'm not eating well and i'm not sleeping well either. I need to get away. It's always wait for this and wait for that. I'm over it. It was waiting for my son to take me so that he could get his papers at the same time that has had me wait so long and now i need to have my photos validated again. He feels ok about that i want to slap the twat. Insulting me and making out that it's easy for me to get a jp to validate the others i paid for at the same time. No, sorry about that Mam, it wouldn't cut it with me, slack twat. This is how u get when u've had to be Mother and Father to the children because the father wasn't taught any values by his own orphaned father. Another victim of the second world war that has created more victims in his own children. It's been know a long time that the emotions need to be cared for in all of us. It's taken about 40 years for the medical profession to give any credence to the effect emotional pain has on humans. Women have always known that emotions are affecting them. I want to rant and don't know how to do it about this. We knew and we were denied services for centuries because it didn't suit them, those men that wanted to save money and have power over all of us. We have almost a year now to get the withdrawal of labor organized if ur game that is women? We may first have to get an International Women's Labor Movement going. I know how scared of the word union u all are. Auxilliary, whatever, I would use the word union to scare the crap out of them as want to pretend it's all going to be the same as usual after this years climate stats come out. They won't pay for the damage to the Great Barrier Reef caused by a ship plowing through it 5 years ago now. It wasn't an accident either i don't believe. They don't care about anyone elses wonders only their own. I don't believe u have the right to trade with the rest of the world if u don't respect us, that reef is in the way of them taking more coal or iron ore. Funny about the iron ore being frigged around with price wise. Two multinationals digging it up at a rate of knots and an ozzie saying slow down gouging it out. Keep the price up. They are wankers all of them. Climate change to them that don't have children gets in the way of their greedy hedonistic lifestyles. Stiff chit. I don't care. Stick them in a space capsule and send them off into space with no return date. If ur not going to look after this planet get off. Oh well they will one way or another. I stood getting sweaty in the sun yesterday and saw these westerners, stuffed shirts and one token female standing off looking at the new facade on the shopping centre that i've been going to for a couple of decades. Very pleased with themselves, half the seats for the passengers, not enough of an awning and no garbage bins, yet they stand around feeling satisfied. I chuntered aloud and took photos of them and then while in the middle of a rant this group of tall Asians walked down the street looking like a delagation of Yakuza, smirking at me for speaking out loud about the unfinished state and uncomfortable place it is now, 'we're not in cars therefore we don't matter to them.' There goes another flash across the top of the screen. I noticed how tall they were more than the fact that they were Asian. Both sides of the street, boffins, stuffed shirts, smug self satisfied prigs that feel they have all the power. I wonder how much viagra they have to take to crack a fat? It must warp a man's personality when it's denied him. I'll bet it's a long time since she got it wet. Then there was the sub continental Indian that walked passed. Not a shopper, just a looker. I tell u, i stick out like dog's balls in that Akubra, I took it for an outing. Oh that's a full load on the train rumbling through, it's shaking the house. God make this not matter at all to me please. Let me not care what they are doing to the Earth, please. Let me stop feeling sorry for those in greater hardship. Another flash across the tool bars. Data farming for what? I left the backup disk in if i want to find out i can. He wants me taking notice and getting upset and speaking up. It ain't much it's better than nothing. I'm disgusted that it seems not to have gone below the price of petrol as it was 10 years ago. It doesn't matter how much oil u pump out they still want to charge over 1.25 per litre. Tapis Crude is around $57 a barrel and West Texas Sweet Crude, which means less processing is under that. The discrepancy is weird to me, WTC comes farther and costs less and Tapis is out of Singapore and always costs more. Yet they are squawking about cartel behaviour in the mineral industry. The world has witnessed this for years now. It's not ok. The other act of sheer lunacy they are borrowing money here to pay out in aid overseas. Is that just to keep 'face' with the rest of the world. It's about time there was a review of all aid spending. It's not being targeted properly judging by the mass grave of Rahinga Moslems they found on the border. Why are they running away in the first place? Mass migration is being pushed by conflict over religion or resources and forcing people to flee around the world. Do i have to spell it out again? We have to be the change we want to see in the world. I have cut down on electricity to the point were it's making changes happen around me. That storm and week without it made us more resilient. I saw a program about solar panels the size of an ipad with a light and doubling as a mobile phone charger in Lahore, Indian, called 'Pollinate Energy', taking light to the people there. Yes please i need one of those for the shed. We can all have them for each room and get off the grid altogether for light. That's an oz company doing that one. This is the techonology of the future and this is the time for all western governments to realize that we the people are more than able to turn on a dime over this. Seriously, the governments around the world are shocked at the way we have altered all our habits to reduce, reuse and recycle as much as we can. They can't catch up fast enough and we make them worry. They don't understand that, like all of nature, Mother has endowed us with the ability to adapt at a faster rate than even we thought we could. This is the growth industry of the future that will help the transition from dirty power to green power. Whatever resistance there may be it won't last, life has to evolve and the maggots all have to turn into flies eventually. We've got plenty of fly spray and Tea tree oil keeps them away too. Another flash across the top of my screen. I would be despondent but that wouldn't do anyone any good, besides it's easy to let it overwhelm us, it's another character building exercise to climb above, it's how we grow. I seem to have got over the phone credit theft, and another flash across the top of the screen. Pillocks. I told u i had to stop doing the pec jerks my boobs are climbing up my chest and threatening to choke me, well, they're cosying up to each other now and i've got a cleavage i never had before, freaky, i Love it. Who's doing that? Keep doing it i like it. I almost don't have to wear a boob sling again. Not bad aye, since coming on here, i've got a new wisdom tooth and sculpted boobs. Some kind of magic to me. The temp had just dropped a couple of degrees, time to layer up a bit. It might have something to do with the finger twiddling on here, it must relate further up the arm etc. I had expected they would drop back down there again but no, funny that. The things we learn as we grow up. I just turned 63 i wonder when i'm going to feel like a grown up then? Oh i can act like one, i just don't feel like one. Maybe i have to be 90 first? Would i feel grown up then? That inner child just told me she won't let me. The idea that my one Spirit has had many lives upholds me. When i'm grown up i won't be having another life on this planet unless i need to help out. He's dead sneaky God makes us forget about the life either side as we move back and forth just so we won't know any better when He's asking for volunteers. Catches me like that every time, I just sticks up my hand for anything dopey git. I'm just too curious. They have just finished a piece on the boats coming out of Myanmar and like before they are being kept at sea without food or water and dying. They are being pushed out. The uniforms of the generals of that country seem very ornate for a poor country that makes it's living by Jesus opium smuggling. Or did in the past. What is their export industry? They don't have one. There are so many islands around there, if they are inhabitable surely the government that claims them could make an island avalable for the people being pushed out. What is wrong with this world? The world, if i mean planet, nothing is wrong with Her, it has to be us that have something wrong with us, that we can't all live in peace on this beautiful Orb. I want to find something to blame so i can destroy it once and for all. Which means simply finding out what it is and then expressing the sorrow and leaving it to God to sort it out. I never thought i'd ever see organic food in the supermarket in my lifetime. I left it to God. I don't even demand He helps i just sulk very effectively. U know i saw the faces of the women and children on one of those boats it just made me angry. It makes me really dislike men. That mob on the yahoo url what are they doing there how do they get that there. I deflect all negative projections they go back into the void of nothingness from whence they came. I'll leave vengance to God, He's so much better at it than i am. I'd really just rather vanish. Trouble is i'd have to have all my teeth pulled first so they wouldn't bother me. The one at the back that is just a root is playing up just now. It has to be pulled out, they haven't got anything to pull on. They want to xray first. I've Teatree oiled it. I'll kill the sod yet. It's a class 5 poison that too, i haven't croaked yet. So i have enough to worry about with my own health and to avoid worrying about it i look outside for something far more serious to be concerned about so i can ignore the seriousness of a poison tooth root in my head. Yup that's how it got like this. Well that and not going to a dentist regularly because they always hurt and they cost a lot of money to pay someone to inflict pain on me. Fingers crossed hope for the best and whistle. It feels like the gum is trying to grow over it. That's because i had a ball of cotton wool with Teatree oil on it earlier. Humph. Then when i've had enough of worrying about the rest of the world i've always got something else to take care of or worry about. How contrary. Oh yeah, i'm leary, wary and completely contrary. I don't know how i live with myself. On the one hand i am the essence of forebearance and on the other i don't have any patience at all. I subject everything to a cost benefit analysis at every turn and i won't put any time into anyting that won't result in more inner peace for me. That sounds like a statement of intent rather than a statement of fact. It's a glimpse of the way i could sort this. God Darlingheart, U know it's all up to U. I will find the beauty in it and U know it. The only way i learnt not to touch hot things was by burning my fingers. I know we will always suffer to grow, Ratbag. Well He didn't say i couldn't crib about it. He's got me wrapped around His little finger and He knows it so i take liberties. 54 years lends me a bit of leeway. I was gum flapping about how since i've been coming on here my memory for people's names seems to have improved, then i told the telco rep he was another name. Dopey git. I wrote it down then. This is to write it to memory if i can recall it, i am recorded being on downloading data for 49 and 1/2 hours Thursday and Friday last week. It's maybe the downloads from itunes though i don't recall it, i may have been fiddling around with the radio ap and didn't install it but left it on. I feel intruded upon by that. The long and the short of it i won't be downloading songs or albums onto the iPhone from the comfort of my armchair anymore, i have to come on here and do it, it won't use up all my credit on the phone. I have to switch off the mobile data when i've finished to stop it being automatically used by the updating that goes on. I only ever have one or two things to update at a time. I have to admit i find that little red dot very very very iritating i want it off the screen asap. I just turned it on, 14 emails 2 aps to download. They are taking forever to load. That is the cost i guess. I don't know how to tweet it's so funny i could kick myself but i'm going to fall over laughing anyway. It could be brain fatigue it's another day now. Now get a load of that on the tweetersphere, from a Scott Zamost, how id thieves are brazenly stealing benefits. I'll go and have a look at that after i'm a bit wary as i have had a sneaking suspicion mine are being leached out of my account and i already mentioned here that i had the previous 2nd tier mobile phone carrier with deductions from my credit account after i'd switched the phone to the 1st tier provider i'm with now. There was also a recharge ap for this carrier still in the aps but not running a window or icon on the screen. There are others i never have used either on that list in settings. The main headquarters for that company was the same suburb where the credit was paid out to on my statement. Diddling about, hope it got to him. I am as thick as two short planks in this i need a tutor. I only just got that one, how thrilling. Well everyday feels like Christmas to me now. Every cell in my body is smiling. Oh God my eyes are leaking too. Life is so beguiling. I gave the telco a line from Chumbawumba, 'I get knocked down and i get up again, u ain't ever gonna keep me down.' I was all out of that until this came along. Now it's guilt edged. Oowah, i used a line from one of the songs of the #33 album, '..is this the way?' I've switched that mobile data switch off so it won't come through until i turn it back on again. It will give me the pip. I wonder should i have plugged the wee beasty, iPhone into the desk top heretoafter known as the Motherboard, before i download emails and such and twitters? God it would be good if i knew what i was doing it's giving me the tres bits (chits) mind u it wouldn't bother me if the Moon turned green just now after that tweet. Rightiho God i'm made up now i can cark happily. It was switched off all day. I'll stew on that all night now, why do i have to switch that off it stops me getting mail and the really interesting one. I Love that shiver up the spine. Why does that always make me want to stretch? Time to chuff off i guess this has been wonderful he knows why. To u all in deep gratitude for this grant Infinite and eternal peace, joy and Love, take care, God Bless and Be Well.xxxxx