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Thread started 03/16/19 7:33am

KingBAD

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friday

TV EVANGELIST CHECKS INTO HIS HOTEL...

TV EVANGELIST - I hope the porn channel is set to disabled.

The manager looks at him and replies,

MANAGER - NO, it’s REGULAR porn, you sick bastard!

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #1 posted 03/16/19 9:47am

XxAxX

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giggle

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Reply #2 posted 03/16/19 9:48am

XxAxX

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Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

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Reply #3 posted 03/16/19 9:50am

XxAxX

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I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.

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Reply #4 posted 03/16/19 10:08am

purplethunder3
121

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lol lol lol

...................

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.

When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

..................

I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #5 posted 03/16/19 10:48am

XxAxX

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Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.

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Reply #6 posted 03/16/19 10:49am

XxAxX

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When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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Reply #7 posted 03/16/19 10:50am

XxAxX

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Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children!

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Reply #8 posted 03/16/19 10:50am

XxAxX

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If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

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Reply #9 posted 03/16/19 10:55am

XxAxX

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I think haikus suck.
Has to be five seven five.
Who came up with this?

***

Five syllables here.
Seven more syllables here.
Are you happy now?

***

Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

***

I met a man, Stan.
His nature is Afghani.
Yes! Afghanistan.

***

I like kittens, YEAH!
They are really fluffy, YEAH!
OMG KITTENS.

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Reply #10 posted 03/16/19 11:00am

onlyforaminute

See what you started.
Year of Return 2019
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Reply #11 posted 03/16/19 12:10pm

luv4u

Moderator

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moderator

lol lol

Edmonton, AB - canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #12 posted 03/16/19 2:48pm

KingBAD

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XxAxX said:

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #13 posted 03/16/19 2:49pm

KingBAD

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purplethunder3121 said:

lol lol lol

...................

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.

When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

..................

I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #14 posted 03/16/19 2:50pm

KingBAD

avatar

XxAxX said:

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #15 posted 03/16/19 2:51pm

KingBAD

avatar

XxAxX said:

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

young lady!!!

eek eek eek

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #16 posted 03/16/19 2:54pm

KingBAD

avatar

XxAxX said:

I think haikus suck.
Has to be five seven five.
Who came up with this?

***

Five syllables here.
Seven more syllables here.
Are you happy now?

***

Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

***

I met a man, Stan.
His nature is Afghani.
Yes! Afghanistan.

***

I like kittens, YEAH!
They are really fluffy, YEAH!
OMG KITTENS.

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

ARE WE NOT ENTERTAINED????

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #17 posted 03/16/19 2:54pm

KingBAD

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onlyforaminute said:

See what you started.

somebody had to do it....

lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #18 posted 03/16/19 2:55pm

KingBAD

avatar

luv4u said:

lol lol

all i said was....

lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #19 posted 03/16/19 6:32pm

EmmaMcG

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Have you seen R Kelly's latest video? Urine for a surprise!
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Reply #20 posted 03/16/19 7:23pm

KingBAD

avatar

EmmaMcG said:

Have you seen R Kelly's latest video? Urine for a surprise!

he asked what she wanted and she said a european...

he wasn't payin attention...

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #21 posted 03/17/19 1:42am

EmmaMcG

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KingBAD said:



EmmaMcG said:


Have you seen R Kelly's latest video? Urine for a surprise!

he asked what she wanted and she said a european...


he wasn't payin attention...



Hahaha, good one.
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Reply #22 posted 03/17/19 5:29am

XxAxX

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KingBAD said:

XxAxX said:

I think haikus suck.
Has to be five seven five.
Who came up with this?

***

Five syllables here.
Seven more syllables here.
Are you happy now?

***

Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

***

I met a man, Stan.
His nature is Afghani.
Yes! Afghanistan.

***

I like kittens, YEAH!
They are really fluffy, YEAH!
OMG KITTENS.

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

ARE WE NOT ENTERTAINED????



How many light bulbs
Does it take to screw a shrink?
Oops! got it backwards.

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Reply #23 posted 03/17/19 8:10am

KingBAD

avatar

XxAxX said:

KingBAD said:

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

ARE WE NOT ENTERTAINED????



How many light bulbs
Does it take to screw a shrink?
Oops! got it backwards.

speakin of lightbulb changin:

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.

A2: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb.

A3: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...:

A4: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.

The mentioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.

2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document,being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."

lol lol lol lol lol lol

hi you like them apples???

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #24 posted 03/17/19 10:59am

HuMpThAnG

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BADD!!!!

KANG BADD!!!! king cool

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Reply #25 posted 03/17/19 2:01pm

XxAxX

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Reply #26 posted 03/17/19 2:08pm

XxAxX

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An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

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Reply #27 posted 03/17/19 2:09pm

XxAxX

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

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Reply #28 posted 03/17/19 2:12pm

XxAxX

avatar

KingBAD said:

XxAxX said:



How many light bulbs
Does it take to screw a shrink?
Oops! got it backwards.

speakin of lightbulb changin:

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.

A2: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb.

A3: You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...:

A4: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.

The mentioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.

2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document,being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."

lol lol lol lol lol lol

hi you like them apples???

biggrin

2.gif

[Edited 3/17/19 14:15pm]

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Reply #29 posted 03/17/19 2:22pm

XxAxX

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