Author | Message |
A subject no one wants to discuss--Bullying I'm thinking about this topic today because it was recently brought to my attention that my oldest nephew, who is now in his 30s, was bullied badly as a teen and I never knew about it. His younger brother, on the other hand, was never bullied... Which leads me into wondering why some people get bullied in school and others don't... I was bullied in Jr. High relentlessly until after 9th grade when I no longer had classes with the bullies. I never told my friends (who I didn't have classes with) or my family; I felt a deep sense of shame over the fact that I was bullied...as if I was the one at fault. And, the irony is, that years after that kind of bully behavior, the bullies totally forget it, but not the bullied. . In my case, back in the 70s, the bullying started with one boy who I unintentionally humiliated in the 6th grade when he (unbelievably!) sexually harassed me in the class room when he leaned his chair against my desk, told me he "wanted to go with me," started rubbing my knee and then slid his hand up under my miniskirt! I yanked my desk back pronto! And then he fell with a thud to the floor... The entire class started laughing! The teacher, who already didn't like the guy, then proceeded to rip him a new asshole by humiliating him in front on the whole class--down to insulting his intelligience, clothing, and wearing too much of his father's cheap High Karate cologne... LOL Well, I paid for that a year later when Don, who never forgot that humiliation, started a campaign of hate against me that snow-balled into bullying that lasted for three years... What a schmuck! . As bad as that was, bullying is much worse now with the addition of cell phones and social media. I can't imagine a young person now having to deal with that in this day and age. My nephew is still affected by the bullying he received in his youth...and when he chose to leave the military. My son wasn't bullied in school, but one of his friends was...and my son never knew it. I wouldn't have known unless his mother told me. A light needs to be shown on this culture of bullying, which I think is worse than ever, so that the kids who are bullied can get rid of their burden of shame for what isn't their own fault and be able to live life free of the residual shackles. Shy sensitive types are always a target... But what makes one person stand out to be bullied and not another? Besides a person bullying with vengeance on their mind... That will always remain a mystery to me... "Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0 | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Thanks for posting that. I was bullied too and I too feel like that I am the one at fault. I was quiet, because of my autism and the other kids didn't like that. It started in 2nd grade when my sister left the class. I was bullied til grade 7, so all in all it was 5 years.
I 3rd grade it was so bad that I stopped eating. I lost so much weight and I really didn't eat anymore, I also always said that I was sick just to skip school. One time my teacher saw how thin I was and she called my mom, she was crying when she called her.
I got beat up, the took my lunch and ate it, or threw it away when they didn't like it. As for my sister. Well, she could hang out with the cooler kids, but she didn't. She stayed with me, because she's not a bitch. But I still didn't like school and when I look back I always feel pain and shame at the same time, because there aren't many good memories. It really was a horrible time. And being bullied at home by my brother and other family members didn't help either. I was a bitter Teenager and sometimes I'm still bitter when I think about it.
What can I see? I'm very sensitive, quiet and that's why they picked I'd rather had them ignoring me. I think they really pick the quiet ones. Or in your case, it's out of revenge. I'm glad you survived this (Not all learn to cope with it), so that you can share your story, to shed a light on it and maybe open some people's eyes. Bullying is dangerous, it can end deadly. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
You are certainly right, Whitedude. Bullying is dangerous and it can end badly. Especially if you are bullied in school and within the family unit. But, remember this--you can get past that and move on to your own life and OWN IT! Despite your challenges! My nephew was bullied by his own father as well as people he thought were his friends when he decided he didn't want to rejoin after two years. My advice to you is, whatever state you live in, find support services for people with autism (yes! they exist!) so that you can get out on your own and live your own life. You sound like a very sensitive, intelligient person who can make his own way just given the chance. Getting away from a toxic environment is the first step; finding the right resources to make you more independent is the next step. And remember, you are not alone! You can overcome the past and use your talents to find a job, go to college, and make a life for yourself that belongs to you! Hang in there...and keep going! "Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0 | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I don't live in the USA, I live in Germany. And the Town I live in is like a dead end street when it comes to people who can deal with autistic people. I'd have to drive many miles and I can't do that at the moment, because I have anxiety attacks. But I work on it, because I want to lead my life.
I'm just glad that I made it out okay, not good, but okay I guess and that I never though of suicide. It's the one thought that never crossed my mind. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
on one hand, it happens too much and too many ignore it when they become aware of it... "Keep on shilling for Big Pharm!" | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I did that when i was 10 years old against another 10 yo shy boy throughout those few 5 months i mader his life a livin hell, just because i did not want any competition in class 'cause i was the role model of my class, furthermore he was a beautiful boy and i couldn't stand that. I regret now for what i did so many years ago, but i'm afraid i've got that abusive personality. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
At first I wrote a nice comment but now you've made fun of me because of my emotions so yeah, screw that. [Edited 11/19/17 19:38pm] | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I was only jokin. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
214 said:
I was only jokin. Okay, but I can't know that. I'm autistic I rarely geht jokes in real life, so it's pretty hard for me Ehen I'm online. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I got bullied by these 2 girls in 2nd grade, I don't remember much from then but we met up again in Jr. and it escalated until me and one of the girls got into a fistfight and it got a bit ugly and everybody found out I could fight. Afterwards, they made their threats about jumping me on the way home, it never happened. That was that. My last fistfight. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Yeah,that's one thing about the old days with girls...or even boys. There used to be knuckle fights with the guys after school or hair pulling fests and punchout with the girls (a la Dynasty). No social media, no photos...if, nothing else, total privacy. Not like now. If two girls had a fight it was like that. "Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0 | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Luckily I was never really bullied in school. At the beginning of secondary school (high school for the Americans) I did get a few unkind words thrown my way but if I'm honest, name calling doesn't really bother me at all so it never made me feel bad or anything. I was small and let's say, not as developed as some of the other girls my age at the time, so some of the boys used to take the piss. And like I said, it didn't really bother me so much but my friend didn't take too kindly to it. So one day, in front of the teacher, he grabbed the leader of the "bullies" by the back of the head and smashed his face against the desk and told him if he ever said anything bad about me again, he'd kill him. That was pretty much the end of that as far as the name calling went. Obviously, I wouldn't recommend things go that far but generally speaking, bullies are cowards and pretty much always attack in packs. More often than not, standing up for yourself is all it takes to get them to back off. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I was bullied a lot at school, especially between the ages 10 to 14. One of the worst incidents of bullying was when I was 10, and this girl who didn't like me and wanted me to move school, literally sexually harassed me by touching me innappropiately. She used to stab me with sticks and hit me about the head and back. I never told my parents or the principal because I was so embarassed and ashamed that this was happening to me.
My first year of high school was pretty bad, too. I remember on the first Thursday, first week, a group of kids ganged up on me for sitting in the seat of a blind girl - which I was not aware of. These kids, I never seen them in my life and visa versa and already they took a disliking to me. I remember crying myself to sleep that night while trying to enjoy lezzy porn.
I could go on and on about my experiences but I'll stop here. I don't feel like shit anymore now I'm an adult and have a voice in the universe. But it's safe to say I felt completely out of place in high school. [Edited 11/20/17 1:30am] | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I used to get bullied, until I fought back.
Straight Jacket Funk Affair
Album plays and love for vinyl records. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Life Matters | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Ok, sorry. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Life Matters | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Moderator moderator |
Going to make this important discussion a sticky Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Take boxing lessons, or some other great form of self-defense. It's not that you'll ever have to use it, but having the confidence to know that you could handle bullies who want to get physical is something bullies pick up on. They want to pick on people who are afraid of them, which they can generally figure out well before the first punch is thrown. [Edited 11/21/17 13:07pm] | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Agree with this 100%. Bullies look for the weak or timid. As an adult, I can spot them a mile away. . As a kid, I would fight at the drop of a hat, I just was angry. My public education felt like a prison movie sometimes. Sometimes I even had run away if I was trapped or tricked into a position where there was a group of guys wanting to kick my ass. No shame in my game, just smart enough to know when to run. Never got used to the sucker punch but I am now and will never give ANYONE the opportunity to be within sticking distance. Not sure how I made it out without turning into a bastard myself but I did. . Gym class was the time when it was all just the boys and the 4 or 5 bullies would just go down the line of kids looking for the weak. I stepped in more times than I can remember because even as a kid I would not tolerate watching someone abuse someone else for no reason. . One of the times was a guy who, a while after high school, became one of my best friends. I had no idea I had "saved" him until we were friends for several years and then he told me. Bizarre. . Bullies don't like when someone stands up to them but if you do, know how to defend yourself. Some people are just messed up and looking for a fight. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Co-sign.....martial arts & weight-training is the way to go. I trained with a dude who has his own gym now. He's a muay-thai kickboxer and has anti-bullying classes for kids. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
| |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Yes, quit bullying me. lol All you others say Hell Yea!! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
That's well and good for you males from the 70s but that didn't work out so well for girls, the disabled, and the disenfranchised... "Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
https://youtu.be/CVwv9LZMah0 | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Only said something rational. Worried. All you others say Hell Yea!! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
| |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
. I understand. The point I was making in sharing my bully stories was to learn how to defend yourself. . This is NOT gendered specific or have anything to do with my childhood from the 80s. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
LOL@ Slave making sure we know he ain't that damn old. Forgive me Slave, I don't know if you are male or female. I'm another oldster who came of age in the 70s btw. Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
. I'm an old man... | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |