independent and unofficial
Prince fan community site
Tue 12th Dec 2017 4:15am
Welcome! Sign up or enter username and password to remember me
Forum jump
Forums > General Discussion > A subject no one wants to discuss--Bullying
« Previous topic  Next topic »
Page 1 of 2 12>
Reply   New topic   Printable     (Log in to 'subscribe' to this topic)
Author

Tweet     Share

Message
Thread started 11/19/17 3:59pm

purplethunder3
121

avatar

A subject no one wants to discuss--Bullying

I'm thinking about this topic today because it was recently brought to my attention that my oldest nephew, who is now in his 30s, was bullied badly as a teen and I never knew about it. His younger brother, on the other hand, was never bullied... Which leads me into wondering why some people get bullied in school and others don't... I was bullied in Jr. High relentlessly until after 9th grade when I no longer had classes with the bullies. I never told my friends (who I didn't have classes with) or my family; I felt a deep sense of shame over the fact that I was bullied...as if I was the one at fault. And, the irony is, that years after that kind of bully behavior, the bullies totally forget it, but not the bullied.

.

In my case, back in the 70s, the bullying started with one boy who I unintentionally humiliated in the 6th grade when he (unbelievably!) sexually harassed me in the class room when he leaned his chair against my desk, told me he "wanted to go with me," started rubbing my knee and then slid his hand up under my miniskirt! eek I yanked my desk back pronto! And then he fell with a thud to the floor... The entire class started laughing! The teacher, who already didn't like the guy, then proceeded to rip him a new asshole by humiliating him in front on the whole class--down to insulting his intelligience, clothing, and wearing too much of his father's cheap High Karate cologne... LOL Well, I paid for that a year later when Don, who never forgot that humiliation, started a campaign of hate against me that snow-balled into bullying that lasted for three years... What a schmuck!

.

As bad as that was, bullying is much worse now with the addition of cell phones and social media. I can't imagine a young person now having to deal with that in this day and age. My nephew is still affected by the bullying he received in his youth...and when he chose to leave the military. My son wasn't bullied in school, but one of his friends was...and my son never knew it. I wouldn't have known unless his mother told me. A light needs to be shown on this culture of bullying, which I think is worse than ever, so that the kids who are bullied can get rid of their burden of shame for what isn't their own fault and be able to live life free of the residual shackles. Shy sensitive types are always a target... But what makes one person stand out to be bullied and not another? Besides a person bullying with vengeance on their mind... rolleyes That will always remain a mystery to me...

Find strength in that which remains...
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #1 posted 11/19/17 4:13pm

ThatWhiteDude

purplethunder3121 said:

I'm thinking about this topic today because it was recently brought to my attention that my oldest nephew, who is now in his 30s, was bullied badly as a teen and I never knew about it. His younger brother, on the other hand, was never bullied... Which leads me into wondering why some people get bullied in school and others don't... I was bullied in Jr. High relentlessly until after 9th grade when I no longer had classes with the bullies. I never told my friends (who I didn't have classes with) or my family; I felt a deep sense of shame over the fact that I was bullied...as if I was the one at fault. And, the irony is, that years after that kind of bully behavior, the bullies totally forget it, but not the bullied.

.

In my case, back in the 70s, the bullying started with one boy who I unintentionally humiliated in the 6th grade when he (unbelievably!) sexually harassed me in the class room when he leaned his chair against my desk, told me he "wanted to go with me," started rubbing my knee and then slid his hand up under my miniskirt! eek I yanked my desk back pronto! And then he fell with a thud to the floor... The entire class started laughing! The teacher, who already didn't like the guy, then proceeded to rip him a new asshole by humiliating him in front on the whole class--down to insulting his intelligience, clothing, and wearing too much of his father's cheap High Karate cologne... LOL Well, I paid for that a year later when Don, who never forgot that humiliation, started a campaign of hate against me that snow-balled into bullying that lasted for three years... What a schmuck!

.

As bad as that was, bullying is much worse now with the addition of cell phones and social media. I can't imagine a young person now having to deal with that in this day and age. My nephew is still affected by the bullying he received in his youth...and when he chose to leave the military. My son wasn't bullied in school, but one of his friends was...and my son never knew it. I wouldn't have known unless his mother told me. A light needs to be shown on this culture of bullying, which I think is worse than ever, so that the kids who are bullied can get rid of their burden of shame for what isn't their own fault and be able to live life free of the residual shackles. Shy sensitive types are always a target... But what makes one person stand out to be bullied and not another? Besides a person bullying with vengeance on their mind... rolleyes That will always remain a mystery to me...

Thanks for posting that. I was bullied too and I too feel like that I am the one at fault. I was quiet, because of my autism and the other kids didn't like that. It started in 2nd grade when my sister left the class. I was bullied til grade 7, so all in all it was 5 years.

I 3rd grade it was so bad that I stopped eating. I lost so much weight and I really didn't eat anymore, I also always said that I was sick just to skip school. One time my teacher saw how thin I was and she called my mom, she was crying when she called her.

I got beat up, the took my lunch and ate it, or threw it away when they didn't like it. As for my sister. Well, she could hang out with the cooler kids, but she didn't. She stayed with me, because she's not a bitch. But I still didn't like school and when I look back I always feel pain and shame at the same time, because there aren't many good memories. It really was a horrible time. And being bullied at home by my brother and other family members didn't help either. I was a bitter Teenager and sometimes I'm still bitter when I think about it.

What can I see? I'm very sensitive, quiet and that's why they picked I'd rather had them ignoring me. I think they really pick the quiet ones. Or in your case, it's out of revenge. I'm glad you survived this (Not all learn to cope with it), so that you can share your story, to shed a light on it and maybe open some people's eyes. Bullying is dangerous, it can end deadly.

"Like books and BLACK LIVES, Albums still MATTER."
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #2 posted 11/19/17 4:31pm

purplethunder3
121

avatar

ThatWhiteDude said:

purplethunder3121 said:

I'm thinking about this topic today because it was recently brought to my attention that my oldest nephew, who is now in his 30s, was bullied badly as a teen and I never knew about it. His younger brother, on the other hand, was never bullied... Which leads me into wondering why some people get bullied in school and others don't... I was bullied in Jr. High relentlessly until after 9th grade when I no longer had classes with the bullies. I never told my friends (who I didn't have classes with) or my family; I felt a deep sense of shame over the fact that I was bullied...as if I was the one at fault. And, the irony is, that years after that kind of bully behavior, the bullies totally forget it, but not the bullied.

.

In my case, back in the 70s, the bullying started with one boy who I unintentionally humiliated in the 6th grade when he (unbelievably!) sexually harassed me in the class room when he leaned his chair against my desk, told me he "wanted to go with me," started rubbing my knee and then slid his hand up under my miniskirt! eek I yanked my desk back pronto! And then he fell with a thud to the floor... The entire class started laughing! The teacher, who already didn't like the guy, then proceeded to rip him a new asshole by humiliating him in front on the whole class--down to insulting his intelligience, clothing, and wearing too much of his father's cheap High Karate cologne... LOL Well, I paid for that a year later when Don, who never forgot that humiliation, started a campaign of hate against me that snow-balled into bullying that lasted for three years... What a schmuck!

.

As bad as that was, bullying is much worse now with the addition of cell phones and social media. I can't imagine a young person now having to deal with that in this day and age. My nephew is still affected by the bullying he received in his youth...and when he chose to leave the military. My son wasn't bullied in school, but one of his friends was...and my son never knew it. I wouldn't have known unless his mother told me. A light needs to be shown on this culture of bullying, which I think is worse than ever, so that the kids who are bullied can get rid of their burden of shame for what isn't their own fault and be able to live life free of the residual shackles. Shy sensitive types are always a target... But what makes one person stand out to be bullied and not another? Besides a person bullying with vengeance on their mind... rolleyes That will always remain a mystery to me...

Thanks for posting that. I was bullied too and I too feel like that I am the one at fault. I was quiet, because of my autism and the other kids didn't like that. It started in 2nd grade when my sister left the class. I was bullied til grade 7, so all in all it was 5 years.

I 3rd grade it was so bad that I stopped eating. I lost so much weight and I really didn't eat anymore, I also always said that I was sick just to skip school. One time my teacher saw how thin I was and she called my mom, she was crying when she called her.

I got beat up, the took my lunch and ate it, or threw it away when they didn't like it. As for my sister. Well, she could hang out with the cooler kids, but she didn't. She stayed with me, because she's not a bitch. But I still didn't like school and when I look back I always feel pain and shame at the same time, because there aren't many good memories. It really was a horrible time. And being bullied at home by my brother and other family members didn't help either. I was a bitter Teenager and sometimes I'm still bitter when I think about it.

What can I see? I'm very sensitive, quiet and that's why they picked I'd rather had them ignoring me. I think they really pick the quiet ones. Or in your case, it's out of revenge. I'm glad you survived this (Not all learn to cope with it), so that you can share your story, to shed a light on it and maybe open some people's eyes. Bullying is dangerous, it can end deadly.

You are certainly right, Whitedude. Bullying is dangerous and it can end badly. Especially if you are bullied in school and within the family unit. But, remember this--you can get past that and move on to your own life and OWN IT! Despite your challenges! My nephew was bullied by his own father as well as people he thought were his friends when he decided he didn't want to rejoin after two years. My advice to you is, whatever state you live in, find support services for people with autism (yes! they exist!) so that you can get out on your own and live your own life. You sound like a very sensitive, intelligient person who can make his own way just given the chance. Getting away from a toxic environment is the first step; finding the right resources to make you more independent is the next step. And remember, you are not alone! You can overcome the past and use your talents to find a job, go to college, and make a life for yourself that belongs to you! Hang in there...and keep going!

Find strength in that which remains...
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #3 posted 11/19/17 4:37pm

ThatWhiteDude

purplethunder3121 said:

ThatWhiteDude said:

Thanks for posting that. I was bullied too and I too feel like that I am the one at fault. I was quiet, because of my autism and the other kids didn't like that. It started in 2nd grade when my sister left the class. I was bullied til grade 7, so all in all it was 5 years.

I 3rd grade it was so bad that I stopped eating. I lost so much weight and I really didn't eat anymore, I also always said that I was sick just to skip school. One time my teacher saw how thin I was and she called my mom, she was crying when she called her.

I got beat up, the took my lunch and ate it, or threw it away when they didn't like it. As for my sister. Well, she could hang out with the cooler kids, but she didn't. She stayed with me, because she's not a bitch. But I still didn't like school and when I look back I always feel pain and shame at the same time, because there aren't many good memories. It really was a horrible time. And being bullied at home by my brother and other family members didn't help either. I was a bitter Teenager and sometimes I'm still bitter when I think about it.

What can I see? I'm very sensitive, quiet and that's why they picked I'd rather had them ignoring me. I think they really pick the quiet ones. Or in your case, it's out of revenge. I'm glad you survived this (Not all learn to cope with it), so that you can share your story, to shed a light on it and maybe open some people's eyes. Bullying is dangerous, it can end deadly.

You are certainly right, Whitedude. Bullying is dangerous and it can end badly. Especially if you are bullied in school and within the family unit. But, remember this--you can get past that and move on to your own life and OWN IT! Despite your challenges! My nephew was bullied by his own father as well as people he thought were his friends when he decided he didn't want to rejoin after two years. My advice to you is, whatever state you live in, find support services for people with autism (yes! they exist!) so that you can get out on your own and live your own life. You sound like a very sensitive, intelligient person who can make his own way just given the chance. Getting away from a toxic environment is the first step; finding the right resources to make you more independent is the next step. And remember, you are not alone! You can overcome the past and use your talents to find a job, go to college, and make a life for yourself that belongs to you! Hang in there...and keep going!

I don't live in the USA, I live in Germany. And the Town I live in is like a dead end street when it comes to people who can deal with autistic people. I'd have to drive many miles and I can't do that at the moment, because I have anxiety attacks. But I work on it, because I want to lead my life.

I'm just glad that I made it out okay, not good, but okay I guess and that I never though of suicide. It's the one thought that never crossed my mind.

"Like books and BLACK LIVES, Albums still MATTER."
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #4 posted 11/19/17 6:33pm

OnlyNDaUsa

avatar

on one hand, it happens too much and too many ignore it when they become aware of it...

on the other sometimes we need to let kids be kids and work stuff out for themselves... we need adults that can handle being treated poorly...


It is a fine line....

"I was raped by the Arkansas AG who then becomes Governor & President..." Juanita Broaddrick
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #5 posted 11/19/17 6:55pm

214

I did that when i was 10 years old against another 10 yo shy boy throughout those few 5 months i mader his life a livin hell, just because i did not want any competition in class 'cause i was the role model of my class, furthermore he was a beautiful boy and i couldn't stand that. I regret now for what i did so many years ago, but i'm afraid i've got that abusive personality.

 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #6 posted 11/19/17 7:02pm

ThatWhiteDude

214 said:

I did that when i was 10 years old against another 10 yo shy boy throughout those few 5 months i mader his life a livin hell, just because i did not want any competition in class 'cause i was the role model of my class, furthermore he was a beautiful boy and i couldn't stand that. I regret now for what i did so many years ago, but i'm afraid i've got that abusive personality.

At first I wrote a nice comment but now you've made fun of me because of my emotions so yeah, screw that.

[Edited 11/19/17 19:38pm]

"Like books and BLACK LIVES, Albums still MATTER."
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #7 posted 11/19/17 7:54pm

214

ThatWhiteDude said:

214 said:

I did that when i was 10 years old against another 10 yo shy boy throughout those few 5 months i mader his life a livin hell, just because i did not want any competition in class 'cause i was the role model of my class, furthermore he was a beautiful boy and i couldn't stand that. I regret now for what i did so many years ago, but i'm afraid i've got that abusive personality.

At first I wrote a nice comment but now you've made fun of me because of my emotions so yeah, screw that.

[Edited 11/19/17 19:38pm]

I was only jokin.

 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #8 posted 11/19/17 7:59pm

ThatWhiteDude

214 said:



ThatWhiteDude said:




214 said:


I did that when i was 10 years old against another 10 yo shy boy throughout those few 5 months i mader his life a livin hell, just because i did not want any competition in class 'cause i was the role model of my class, furthermore he was a beautiful boy and i couldn't stand that. I regret now for what i did so many years ago, but i'm afraid i've got that abusive personality.



At first I wrote a nice comment but now you've made fun of me because of my emotions so yeah, screw that.


[Edited 11/19/17 19:38pm]



I was only jokin.


Okay, but I can't know that. I'm autistic I rarely geht jokes in real life, so it's pretty hard for me Ehen I'm online.
"Like books and BLACK LIVES, Albums still MATTER."
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #9 posted 11/19/17 11:12pm

morningsong

avatar

I got bullied by these 2 girls in 2nd grade, I don't remember much from then but we met up again in Jr. and it escalated until me and one of the girls got into a fistfight and it got a bit ugly and everybody found out I could fight. Afterwards, they made their threats about jumping me on the way home, it never happened. That was that. My last fistfight.

“Do I dare Disturb the universe?”
― T.S. Eliot

“Only by acceptance of the past, can you alter it”
― T.S. Eliot
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #10 posted 11/20/17 12:28am

purplethunder3
121

avatar

morningsong said:

I got bullied by these 2 girls in 2nd grade, I don't remember much from then but we met up again in Jr. and it escalated until me and one of the girls got into a fistfight and it got a bit ugly and everybody found out I could fight. Afterwards, they made their threats about jumping me on the way home, it never happened. That was that. My last fistfight.

Yeah,that's one thing about the old days with girls...or even boys. There used to be knuckle fights with the guys after school or hair pulling fests and punchout with the girls (a la Dynasty). No social media, no photos...if, nothing else, total privacy. Not like now. If two girls had a fight it was like that. razz lol

Related image

Find strength in that which remains...
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #11 posted 11/20/17 12:41am

EmmaMcG

Luckily I was never really bullied in school. At the beginning of secondary school (high school for the Americans) I did get a few unkind words thrown my way but if I'm honest, name calling doesn't really bother me at all so it never made me feel bad or anything. I was small and let's say, not as developed as some of the other girls my age at the time, so some of the boys used to take the piss. And like I said, it didn't really bother me so much but my friend didn't take too kindly to it. So one day, in front of the teacher, he grabbed the leader of the "bullies" by the back of the head and smashed his face against the desk and told him if he ever said anything bad about me again, he'd kill him. That was pretty much the end of that as far as the name calling went. Obviously, I wouldn't recommend things go that far but generally speaking, bullies are cowards and pretty much always attack in packs. More often than not, standing up for yourself is all it takes to get them to back off.
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #12 posted 11/20/17 1:29am

SoftSkarlettLo
visa

I was bullied a lot at school, especially between the ages 10 to 14. One of the worst incidents of bullying was when I was 10, and this girl who didn't like me and wanted me to move school, literally sexually harassed me by touching me innappropiately. She used to stab me with sticks and hit me about the head and back. I never told my parents or the principal because I was so embarassed and ashamed that this was happening to me.

My first year of high school was pretty bad, too. I remember on the first Thursday, first week, a group of kids ganged up on me for sitting in the seat of a blind girl - which I was not aware of. These kids, I never seen them in my life and visa versa and already they took a disliking to me. I remember crying myself to sleep that night while trying to enjoy lezzy porn.

I could go on and on about my experiences but I'll stop here. I don't feel like shit anymore now I'm an adult and have a voice in the universe. But it's safe to say I felt completely out of place in high school.

[Edited 11/20/17 1:30am]

 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #13 posted 11/20/17 8:35am

paisleypark4

avatar

I used to get bullied, until I fought back.

In 5th grade When I told my parents some boys used to bully me on the school bus my mom and dad went right on that bus and cursed them out even asking to have their parents come out and do something about it. Their parents never came.

When I was alone however they still used to try and bully me. That's when my fist hit that head and face pretty nicely.

Middle school was the last time I had to fight bullies. Being small statured kids used to always try that mess with me. One kid used to come behind me and flick my ear in class and tell me I was a punk. Kick the back of my seat too. After a week of this. I got up and threw his entire desk over knocking him to the ground!!! Let's just say he yelled "I WAS JUST PLAYING I DIDNT MEAN IT!" The teacher stopped us....and he apologized. For soem odd reason after that he was nothing but nice to me all the way into high school.


In my opinion there will always be bullies but dammit STAND UP FOR YOURSELF is what my parents always taught me. They came from Queens and The Bronx growing up in the 1960's. You had to fight to show reputation that youre not a punk and will be dealt with. All these kids being scared to fight not going to get you nowhere.

Download all the shit hop that you can for your kids, neices, nephews, and their friends also. That will prevent them from going out and buying it and will prevent some shit hop sales. Every little bit helps - Andy
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemus
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #14 posted 11/20/17 3:25pm

CherryMoon57

purplethunder3121 said:

And, the irony is, that years after that kind of bully behavior, the bullies totally forget it, but not the bullied.


Yes, that's quite odd isn't it... I used to be (mildly) bullied at ballet when I was 14, by a group of snobby girls who used to mock my style and the snacks I had. My mum brought us up on organic food - which was a little unusual in that part of France in those days - and my snacks looked very different from the regular French pastries or the more commercial brand of biscuits the others had. I guess they picked on that as an excuse... The girls would regularly mock me or anything I did, because I was a little different, I didn't follow fashion trends, etc.

I regularly had to fight to keep a space at the barres (where we did our warm ups) as they regularly stole my space so I had to go elsewhere every time, sometimes during the same session and they would then whisper to each other and laugh. I had to complain to the teacher at one point because it was starting to affect me so much I would dread going to ballet class. The ballet teacher hadn't even noticed the other girls' mean little games. I even threatened to quit the company before the important annual show... The teacher told me that my best defense would be to stay on and keep my head up high, and to just ignore them. But that was much easier said than done. I still did my part in the show but I didn't enjoy it. I quit at the end of the year and started a modern-jazz class at another dance school instead, which was way more fun!

And so anyway, years went by and one day whilst back in France for a few months, I met one of the bullying girls whose son was then in my daughter's class and we got chatting in front of the school everyday and got to know a bit about each other's life and one day she reveals to me where she works, turns out she was employed by my uncle! She then goes on to tell me that she is being bullied by all the other women at work. She gets so upset whilst telling me all this that she even starts crying... Now she is telling me all that whilst sitting in my car and as much as we were now starting to become friends, I still didn't have it in me to feel sorry for her - ok, maybe only a little, so I passed her a tissue lol - but she clearly had totally forgotten about all those bullying episodes at ballet!

Even though I couldn't feel too much empathy for her, I still tried to help by speaking about her problem with my uncle (her boss), who said that he had no idea about it though he was going to investigate. But before he could do anything, she had already handed her notice and soon found another job.

And I don't even believe in Karma but that surely made me think again.

 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #15 posted 11/20/17 4:02pm

214

ThatWhiteDude said:

214 said:

I was only jokin.

Okay, but I can't know that. I'm autistic I rarely geht jokes in real life, so it's pretty hard for me Ehen I'm online.

Ok, sorry.

 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #16 posted 11/20/17 4:10pm

CherryMoon57

purplethunder3121 said:

morningsong said:

I got bullied by these 2 girls in 2nd grade, I don't remember much from then but we met up again in Jr. and it escalated until me and one of the girls got into a fistfight and it got a bit ugly and everybody found out I could fight. Afterwards, they made their threats about jumping me on the way home, it never happened. That was that. My last fistfight.

Yeah,that's one thing about the old days with girls...or even boys. There used to be knuckle fights with the guys after school or hair pulling fests and punchout with the girls (a la Dynasty). No social media, no photos...if, nothing else, total privacy. Not like now. If two girls had a fight it was like that. razz lol

Related image


This is exactely how my sister and I used to fight, hair and all mad And 10 minutes later, we'd be in hysterics, laughing again lol

 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #17 posted 11/20/17 5:51pm

luv4u

Moderator

avatar

moderator

Going to make this important discussion a sticky biggrin

Edmonton, AB - canada

Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #18 posted 11/21/17 1:06pm

RodeoSchro

avatar

Take boxing lessons, or some other great form of self-defense. It's not that you'll ever have to use it, but having the confidence to know that you could handle bullies who want to get physical is something bullies pick up on. They want to pick on people who are afraid of them, which they can generally figure out well before the first punch is thrown.

Same thing with people who know how to fight back. A bully can usually tell if a person has that "it" factor about them that says "If we have to fight, I might not win but I'm definitely going to get some good punches in". The bully does NOT want to fight that person. They want to fight the person who won't fight back.

In my opinion, boxing is the best and fastest way to gaining the self-confidence that should keep bullies away without ever having to actually throw a punch in a fight.

.

[Edited 11/21/17 13:07pm]

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's paladin
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #19 posted 11/23/17 3:03pm

Slave2daGroove

RodeoSchro said:

Take boxing lessons, or some other great form of self-defense. It's not that you'll ever have to use it, but having the confidence to know that you could handle bullies who want to get physical is something bullies pick up on. They want to pick on people who are afraid of them, which they can generally figure out well before the first punch is thrown.

Same thing with people who know how to fight back. A bully can usually tell if a person has that "it" factor about them that says "If we have to fight, I might not win but I'm definitely going to get some good punches in". The bully does NOT want to fight that person. They want to fight the person who won't fight back.

In my opinion, boxing is the best and fastest way to gaining the self-confidence that should keep bullies away without ever having to actually throw a punch in a fight.

.

[Edited 11/21/17 13:07pm]

Agree with this 100%. Bullies look for the weak or timid. As an adult, I can spot them a mile away.

.

As a kid, I would fight at the drop of a hat, I just was angry. My public education felt like a prison movie sometimes. Sometimes I even had run away if I was trapped or tricked into a position where there was a group of guys wanting to kick my ass. No shame in my game, just smart enough to know when to run. Never got used to the sucker punch but I am now and will never give ANYONE the opportunity to be within sticking distance. Not sure how I made it out without turning into a bastard myself but I did.

.

Gym class was the time when it was all just the boys and the 4 or 5 bullies would just go down the line of kids looking for the weak. I stepped in more times than I can remember because even as a kid I would not tolerate watching someone abuse someone else for no reason.

.

One of the times was a guy who, a while after high school, became one of my best friends. I had no idea I had "saved" him until we were friends for several years and then he told me. Bizarre.

.

Bullies don't like when someone stands up to them but if you do, know how to defend yourself. Some people are just messed up and looking for a fight.

 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #20 posted 11/25/17 11:52am

uPtoWnNY

RodeoSchro said:

Take boxing lessons, or some other great form of self-defense. It's not that you'll ever have to use it, but having the confidence to know that you could handle bullies who want to get physical is something bullies pick up on. They want to pick on people who are afraid of them, which they can generally figure out well before the first punch is thrown.

Same thing with people who know how to fight back. A bully can usually tell if a person has that "it" factor about them that says "If we have to fight, I might not win but I'm definitely going to get some good punches in". The bully does NOT want to fight that person. They want to fight the person who won't fight back.

In my opinion, boxing is the best and fastest way to gaining the self-confidence that should keep bullies away without ever having to actually throw a punch in a fight.

.

[Edited 11/21/17 13:07pm]

Co-sign.....martial arts & weight-training is the way to go. I trained with a dude who has his own gym now. He's a muay-thai kickboxer and has anti-bullying classes for kids.

 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #21 posted 11/27/17 8:03am

RodeoSchro

avatar

Slave2daGroove said:

RodeoSchro said:

Take boxing lessons, or some other great form of self-defense. It's not that you'll ever have to use it, but having the confidence to know that you could handle bullies who want to get physical is something bullies pick up on. They want to pick on people who are afraid of them, which they can generally figure out well before the first punch is thrown.

Same thing with people who know how to fight back. A bully can usually tell if a person has that "it" factor about them that says "If we have to fight, I might not win but I'm definitely going to get some good punches in". The bully does NOT want to fight that person. They want to fight the person who won't fight back.

In my opinion, boxing is the best and fastest way to gaining the self-confidence that should keep bullies away without ever having to actually throw a punch in a fight.

.

[Edited 11/21/17 13:07pm]

Agree with this 100%. Bullies look for the weak or timid. As an adult, I can spot them a mile away.

.

As a kid, I would fight at the drop of a hat, I just was angry. My public education felt like a prison movie sometimes. Sometimes I even had run away if I was trapped or tricked into a position where there was a group of guys wanting to kick my ass. No shame in my game, just smart enough to know when to run. Never got used to the sucker punch but I am now and will never give ANYONE the opportunity to be within sticking distance. Not sure how I made it out without turning into a bastard myself but I did.

.

Gym class was the time when it was all just the boys and the 4 or 5 bullies would just go down the line of kids looking for the weak. I stepped in more times than I can remember because even as a kid I would not tolerate watching someone abuse someone else for no reason.

.

One of the times was a guy who, a while after high school, became one of my best friends. I had no idea I had "saved" him until we were friends for several years and then he told me. Bizarre.

.

Bullies don't like when someone stands up to them but if you do, know how to defend yourself. Some people are just messed up and looking for a fight.




One time in high school, this dude jumped me and we had a short fight. Then we went to the vice principal's office and the paddling we got hurt far worse than the fight. As we were rubbing our butts, I asked him why he'd jumped me. "Because J. B. said you called me a pussy!" I told him, "J. B. lied to you. I've never called you any name ever." We then became best friends!

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's paladin
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #22 posted 11/27/17 9:40am

2freaky4church
1

avatar

Yes, quit bullying me. lol

DJ is da man
"2freaky is very down." 2Elijah.
"2freaky convinced me to join Antifa: OnlyNDA
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #23 posted 11/28/17 12:37am

purplethunder3
121

avatar

RodeoSchro said:

Slave2daGroove said:

Agree with this 100%. Bullies look for the weak or timid. As an adult, I can spot them a mile away.

.

As a kid, I would fight at the drop of a hat, I just was angry. My public education felt like a prison movie sometimes. Sometimes I even had run away if I was trapped or tricked into a position where there was a group of guys wanting to kick my ass. No shame in my game, just smart enough to know when to run. Never got used to the sucker punch but I am now and will never give ANYONE the opportunity to be within sticking distance. Not sure how I made it out without turning into a bastard myself but I did.

.

Gym class was the time when it was all just the boys and the 4 or 5 bullies would just go down the line of kids looking for the weak. I stepped in more times than I can remember because even as a kid I would not tolerate watching someone abuse someone else for no reason.

.

One of the times was a guy who, a while after high school, became one of my best friends. I had no idea I had "saved" him until we were friends for several years and then he told me. Bizarre.

.

Bullies don't like when someone stands up to them but if you do, know how to defend yourself. Some people are just messed up and looking for a fight.




One time in high school, this dude jumped me and we had a short fight. Then we went to the vice principal's office and the paddling we got hurt far worse than the fight. As we were rubbing our butts, I asked him why he'd jumped me. "Because J. B. said you called me a pussy!" I told him, "J. B. lied to you. I've never called you any name ever." We then became best friends!

That's well and good for you males from the 70s but that didn't work out so well for girls, the disabled, and the disenfranchised...

Find strength in that which remains...
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #24 posted 11/28/17 7:38am

2freaky4church
1

avatar

Only said something rational. Worried.

DJ is da man
"2freaky is very down." 2Elijah.
"2freaky convinced me to join Antifa: OnlyNDA
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #25 posted 11/28/17 8:00am

RodeoSchro

avatar

purplethunder3121 said:

RodeoSchro said:




One time in high school, this dude jumped me and we had a short fight. Then we went to the vice principal's office and the paddling we got hurt far worse than the fight. As we were rubbing our butts, I asked him why he'd jumped me. "Because J. B. said you called me a pussy!" I told him, "J. B. lied to you. I've never called you any name ever." We then became best friends!

That's well and good for you males from the 70s but that didn't work out so well for girls, the disabled, and the disenfranchised...



I understand. I was only telling a story that I thought was kind of like Slave's.

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's paladin
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #26 posted 11/28/17 9:57am

Slave2daGroove

purplethunder3121 said:

RodeoSchro said:




One time in high school, this dude jumped me and we had a short fight. Then we went to the vice principal's office and the paddling we got hurt far worse than the fight. As we were rubbing our butts, I asked him why he'd jumped me. "Because J. B. said you called me a pussy!" I told him, "J. B. lied to you. I've never called you any name ever." We then became best friends!

That's well and good for you males from the 70s but that didn't work out so well for girls, the disabled, and the disenfranchised...

.

I understand. The point I was making in sharing my bully stories was to learn how to defend yourself.

.

This is NOT gendered specific or have anything to do with my childhood from the 80s.

 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #27 posted 12/03/17 1:06pm

babynoz

LOL@ Slave making sure we know he ain't that damn old. lol Forgive me Slave, I don't know if you are male or female. I'm another oldster who came of age in the 70s btw.


Anyhoo, The first time I got bullied I was afraid to fight back and got cursed and kicked all the way home by this little girl who looked and acted like a Tasmanian devil. She and her brother came from a home where their parents used to get drunk and fight so I guess that's why they fought everybody in the school. eek

The second time was fifth grade. A girl who I had been friends with started bullying me based on some lie another jealous girl told her. After about a week of that I clocked her and had no further issues.

The Third and final time was sixth grade. A short, hairy girl who I was always friendly to hit me for no reason, so I wiped the floor with her. To this day I have no clue why she hit me but enough kids saw me fight, thus I didn't have to worry about anybody else trying me.

I suspect that the culprit in the last two incidents was probably this one girl who I thought was my friend, but was probably going behind my back instigating because I found out years later how much she resented me having other friends from several people.

I agree that the culture of bullying has been made ten times worse by social media among kids and even adults. It's worrisome with children though because most schools don't do enough to intervene due in part to our sue happy society and the notion many parents have that their little precious is above discipline.


Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise.
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #28 posted 12/03/17 1:24pm

babynoz

EmmaMcG said:

Luckily I was never really bullied in school. At the beginning of secondary school (high school for the Americans) I did get a few unkind words thrown my way but if I'm honest, name calling doesn't really bother me at all so it never made me feel bad or anything. I was small and let's say, not as developed as some of the other girls my age at the time, so some of the boys used to take the piss. And like I said, it didn't really bother me so much but my friend didn't take too kindly to it. So one day, in front of the teacher, he grabbed the leader of the "bullies" by the back of the head and smashed his face against the desk and told him if he ever said anything bad about me again, he'd kill him. That was pretty much the end of that as far as the name calling went. Obviously, I wouldn't recommend things go that far but generally speaking, bullies are cowards and pretty much always attack in packs. More often than not, standing up for yourself is all it takes to get them to back off.



Even though I only got into two fights I had plenty of kids who talked smack about me behind my back for two reasons. One, I never wanted to be part of anybody's clique and the "it" girls didn't like that. Number two, I was pretty much a teacher's pet, always called on or chosen to do stuff like be on the student council, in the school play, write on the board, etc. Other kids hate that. lol

I was too tall for some, too light skinned for others and too articulate for the rest. If I had a nickel for every time I was told that I thought I was cute or I thought I was white, I'd be rich. lol As far as I was concerned the teacher was the one giving out grades so they could kick rocks.

Another thing they hated was that I would befriend the outcast kids that they made fun of. I remember this one girl who was literally fresh off the boat from Haiti. No one would speak to her because she had limited english and a heavy accent. The hateful girls in gym class used to tease her relentlessly, tell her she had aids and all kinds of cruel stuff. I was the only kid in the whole class who would speak to her and we got along as much as the language barrier would allow.

Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise.
 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #29 posted 12/04/17 5:51am

Slave2daGroove

babynoz said:

LOL@ Slave making sure we know he ain't that damn old. lol Forgive me Slave, I don't know if you are male or female. I'm another oldster who came of age in the 70s btw.

.

boxed I'm an old man... lol

 Reply w/quote - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Page 1 of 2 12>
Reply   New topic   Printable     (Log in to 'subscribe' to this topic)
« Previous topic  Next topic »
Forums > General Discussion > A subject no one wants to discuss--Bullying