Think I'm kidding? Just check out the url!

http://www.badassofthewee.../list.html

Badass of the Week?!? It is AWESOME! And these aren't wanna-be badasses like Steven Seagal or Ann Coulter! No, these are REAL HISTORICAL badasses (plus a cartoon character). And the website author's writing style is very much like mine except with lots of curse words, so you know you're going to love it. Here's a sample about Big Bill Speakman, who is one of the baddest badasses I have EVER heard of:

It took just an hour and a half for the Chinese to completely overrun all forward British positions on Hill 317. As the sounds of battle became louder and louder outside Speakman’s tent, the radio reports became less and less frequent. Speakman worked furiously to prime the grenades, his hands shaking as the rumble of artillery and gunfire echoed all around him – but when reports came in that the Command Post of 5 Platoon – a tent that was just 20 meters from Speakman’s – was under attack from three sides, Big Bill had heard enough.

He grabbed a shitload of grenades, stuffed them into every pocket he could, and ran for the door.

When his Company Sergeant-Major demanded “where the hell do you think you’re going?”, Big Bill said he was going to go “shift” some of them. I don’t know what that really means, but I get the jist.

Now, Bill Speakman was six feet, six inches tall, and he had the awesome ability to chuck a hand grenade about twice as far as anyone else in his Regiment. And once he got to his trench, he started chucking bombs like it was Super Mario Bros 2 on the 38th Parallel. Any time he saw a muzzle flash, heard a battle cry, or saw a group of dudes, he fucking whizzed a frag in there like he was Juan Marichal bean-balling the fuck out of an opposing batter.

AWESOME.

Check Badass of the Week out. The stories are INCREDIBLE!

???

i don't have a site...

KingBAD said:

???

i don't have a site...

That's because you are only KingBAD, not KingBADASS.

NorthC said:

Oh yeah, I love that site. He even has Grutte Pier, a pirate from Friesland (northern part of the Netherlands) in there. He even has Prince listed under "cool people" somewhere. In short, another guy named Ben who created a cool website. [Edited 1/31/17 10:41am]

Found the Prince story:

Prince has been getting a lot of heat recently by people who don't think he should be playing the halftime show at the Super Bowl this year. Fuck that. Not only does Prince rock, and have the ability to sing notes only audible to dogs and bats, but his presence at the Super Bowl will be the final step towards representing the ultimate duality of man. Allow me to present this chart to explain my position.

Now, football is all about the killing. It's just twenty-two guys on a one hundred yard field running around at top speed trying to use their shoulders to take each other's heads completely off of their bodies. It's like war out there, except the big difference is that soldiers don't get paid extra if they're especially good at killing people. Football players can make millions of dollars by demonstrating this talent.

Prince, on the other hand, is all chicks. I probably wouldn't bet on him to win a steel-cage Ultimate Fighting Championship match with Scarlett Johansson, but for some reason the man gets more tail than a squirrel furrier in the Yukon. He sleeps with more hot babes in a single night than most men will get in their entire lives. Being the quintessential "all-chicks, no-killing" guy means that he represents the half of men that are are otherwise unspoken for in a football game of this caliber.

Allow me to further illustrate my point with this crappy graph: NOTE - GRAPH NOT AVAILABLE

As you can see, the "All-Chicks, No-Killing" end of the spectrum is Prince, while the "All-Killing, No-Chicks" side is represented by toothless Hall of Fame Steelers Linebacker Jack Lambert. Both of these men represent the two extremes of mankind. I chose Sean Connery as James Bond to represent the midpoint; the perfect blending of chicks and killing.

Now most men fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. Unfortunately, in a top-level football game, there really isn't a whole lot of representation on the "chicks" side. Sure, you have guys like Peyton Manning who are more to the left of this chart than say, Brian Urlacher, but the whole point of football is to laud the killing qualities and ignore the chicks qualities. Like when you watch the game, you will probably hear the announcers spend at least an hour talking about Peyton's "toughness" or "gutsiness", but I'd wager two million dollars that you won't hear Phil Simms say something like, "man that Peyton Manning gets more play than a Hank Williams Junior album in a seedy Alabama bar". It just won't happen. Ergo, you need to balance out the true nature of man by bringing in a guy like Prince to represent the "chicks" aspect of mankind.

It's layers upon layers. Like an onion.

EmmaMcG said:

If I click that link and I don't see Clint Eastwood, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Van Damme or Donnie Yen, then I'm calling bullshit on the whole thing. Edit - I've clicked the link. Bullshit! But seriously, it's actually quite interesting. [Edited 1/31/17 16:02pm]

yeah... i was left with that "WTF" feelin too...

EmmaMcG said:

If I click that link and I don't see Clint Eastwood, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Van Damme or Donnie Yen, then I'm calling bullshit on the whole thing. Edit - I've clicked the link. Bullshit! But seriously, it's actually quite interesting. [Edited 1/31/17 16:02pm]

Submit them! I totally agree that Arnold is a complete badass. No one else I can think of has risen to the very top of THREE different professions like he did.

But to be fair, the badasses on that site are there generally because they killed a lot of people in real life, not in movies. Race Bannon excluded, of course.

RodeoSchro said:

RodeoSchro said:

KingBAD said:

???

i don't have a site...

That's because you are only KingBAD, not KingBADASS.

Oh no, don't give him any ideas.

RodeoSchro said:

NorthC said:

Oh yeah, I love that site. He even has Grutte Pier, a pirate from Friesland (northern part of the Netherlands) in there. He even has Prince listed under "cool people" somewhere. In short, another guy named Ben who created a cool website. [Edited 1/31/17 10:41am]

Found the Prince story:

Prince has been getting a lot of heat recently by people who don't think he should be playing the halftime show at the Super Bowl this year. Fuck that. Not only does Prince rock, and have the ability to sing notes only audible to dogs and bats, but his presence at the Super Bowl will be the final step towards representing the ultimate duality of man. Allow me to present this chart to explain my position.

Things Men Are Good At:

1. Scoring with Chicks

2. Killing other Men

Now, football is all about the killing. It's just twenty-two guys on a one hundred yard field running around at top speed trying to use their shoulders to take each other's heads completely off of their bodies. It's like war out there, except the big difference is that soldiers don't get paid extra if they're especially good at killing people. Football players can make millions of dollars by demonstrating this talent.

Prince, on the other hand, is all chicks. I probably wouldn't bet on him to win a steel-cage Ultimate Fighting Championship match with Scarlett Johansson, but for some reason the man gets more tail than a squirrel furrier in the Yukon. He sleeps with more hot babes in a single night than most men will get in their entire lives. Being the quintessential "all-chicks, no-killing" guy means that he represents the half of men that are are otherwise unspoken for in a football game of this caliber.

Allow me to further illustrate my point with this crappy graph: NOTE - GRAPH NOT AVAILABLE

As you can see, the "All-Chicks, No-Killing" end of the spectrum is Prince, while the "All-Killing, No-Chicks" side is represented by toothless Hall of Fame Steelers Linebacker Jack Lambert. Both of these men represent the two extremes of mankind. I chose Sean Connery as James Bond to represent the midpoint; the perfect blending of chicks and killing.

Now most men fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. Unfortunately, in a top-level football game, there really isn't a whole lot of representation on the "chicks" side. Sure, you have guys like Peyton Manning who are more to the left of this chart than say, Brian Urlacher, but the whole point of football is to laud the killing qualities and ignore the chicks qualities. Like when you watch the game, you will probably hear the announcers spend at least an hour talking about Peyton's "toughness" or "gutsiness", but I'd wager two million dollars that you won't hear Phil Simms say something like, "man that Peyton Manning gets more play than a Hank Williams Junior album in a seedy Alabama bar". It just won't happen. Ergo, you need to balance out the true nature of man by bringing in a guy like Prince to represent the "chicks" aspect of mankind.

It's layers upon layers. Like an onion.

omg, that gave me a good laugh.

EmmaMcG said: