EmmaMcG said:

NinaB said:

EmmaMcG said:

This is something I've been thinking a lot about recently. I started going out with my first boyfriend when I was just 13. He introduced me to so many things (Prince music, to name one) and we were happy together for nearly 10 years. I loved him more than anyone and there was a time that I would have done anything for him. Unfortunately, these things don't last forever and we decided to go our separate ways due to our careers taking us in opposite directions. He's still my best friend and he always will be but we've both moved on. He's with a really nice girl now and I have my own girlfriend. But getting over him was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There was a time when I thought I would be alone forever. With the help of family and friends, I moved on. I'll never be fully over him and I'll always love him but at least I'm happy now with how things have turned out. And if we were meant to be together, then maybe down the line our paths will cross again. Do any other orgers have any stories of lost love and how were you able to move on?

Best way 2 move on; NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! It's a good thing u parted ways, 13-23 is looong enuf! Not healthy being like a middle aged couple whilst so young. Live, explore, grow, evolve! Oh, & did i mention NO CONTACT?!!! [Edited 11/1/15 20:25pm]

NinaB speaks the truth! NO CONTACT! You need time to find yourself and know what your likes are withOUT him.

Otherwise, you will never move on. He is a cancer to you now... toxic, suffocating, you already spent too much time with him.

[Edited 11/1/15 21:53pm]

NinaB said:

EmmaMcG said:

This is something I've been thinking a lot about recently. I started going out with my first boyfriend when I was just 13. He introduced me to so many things (Prince music, to name one) and we were happy together for nearly 10 years. I loved him more than anyone and there was a time that I would have done anything for him. Unfortunately, these things don't last forever and we decided to go our separate ways due to our careers taking us in opposite directions. He's still my best friend and he always will be but we've both moved on. He's with a really nice girl now and I have my own girlfriend. But getting over him was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There was a time when I thought I would be alone forever. With the help of family and friends, I moved on. I'll never be fully over him and I'll always love him but at least I'm happy now with how things have turned out. And if we were meant to be together, then maybe down the line our paths will cross again.

Do any other orgers have any stories of lost love and how were you able to move on?

Best way 2 move on; NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT!
It's a good thing u parted ways, 13-23 is looong enuf! Not healthy being like a middle aged couple whilst so young.
Live, explore, grow, evolve!
Oh, & did i mention NO CONTACT?!!!
[Edited 11/1/15 20:25pm]

EmmaMcG said:

NinaB said:

Best way 2 move on; NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT!
It's a good thing u parted ways, 13-23 is looong enuf! Not healthy being like a middle aged couple whilst so young.
Live, explore, grow, evolve!
Oh, & did i mention NO CONTACT?!!!
[Edited 11/1/15 20:25pm]

I know what you're saying and I appreciate the advice but I don't think I could even imagine how my life would be without him in it. Like I say, he's my best friend. And even though we're not together anymore he was still there for me when my mother died last year.

NinaB said:

EmmaMcG said:

Kazzy88 said:

breakdown2k14 said:

EmmaMcG said:

breakdown2k14 said:

EmmaMcG said:

breakdown2k14 said:

I'm still friends with my ex also . But I rarely hear from her . I think u should tell him how u feel . It will make u feel better to get it off your contience .

Considering it was me who ended it I cant exactly turn around now and tell him I changed my mind. And besides, Sarah doesn't deserve that. She got my name tattooed on her arm.

1) Did you change your mind? Or do you see him happy with someone else and want to keep yourself in the mix?

2) I'm sure Sarah would love to know you consider her second choice and stay with her out of a sense of obligation.

Genesia said:

EmmaMcG said:

Genesia said:

1) Did you change your mind? Or do you see him happy with someone else and want to keep yourself in the mix?

2) I'm sure Sarah would love to know you consider her second choice and stay with her out of a sense of obligation.

1. I didn't so much change my mind. I had an opportunity to do something I really wanted to do and earn a LOT of money for. But it involved a lot of traveling. My ex has family commitments which meant he couldn't come with me. I never stopped loving him. And he actually encouraged me to go because he knew if I was successful in what I was trying to do I'd be set for life. While I was gone, he start seeing someone else. So did I. 2. Sarah knows the deal. She knows I'm with her because there is no man who could take my ex's place. I do love Sarah but he was the first and he'll always be special to me. I've come to accept that I'll never be with him again, and I'm happy to see that his girlfriend makes him happy. But at the same time, I'll never be truly over him.

As long as you think like that, you never will be.

paintedlady said:

NinaB said:

EmmaMcG said: Best way 2 move on; NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! It's a good thing u parted ways, 13-23 is looong enuf! Not healthy being like a middle aged couple whilst so young. Live, explore, grow, evolve! Oh, & did i mention NO CONTACT?!!! [Edited 11/1/15 20:25pm]

NinaB speaks the truth! NO CONTACT! You need time to find yourself and know what your likes are withOUT him.

Otherwise, you will never move on. He is a cancer to you now... toxic, suffocating, you already spent too much time with him.

[Edited 11/1/15 21:53pm]

NinaB and paintedlady

Genesia has a very good point.


As long as you keep fantasizing over how good it would be if you and your ex would be together, you can't develop yourself further.

You are emotionally stuck in a self fabricated fantasy about you and ex-boy belonging to each other.

If the love between you would be strong enough, he would have waited for you and not start another relationship. He could have spend that time developing himself, supporting you, and what more.

He didn't, he moved on and started a relationship with somebody else.


Sara seems very committed to you. Do you think it's fair to her, to allow yourself to escape in some fantasy about a non-existing love?

I think it's possible to have a intimite friendship with an ex. But not for you at this moment because you want him back. So, you have a hidden agenda when it comes to this 'friendship'.


I'm very good friends with somebody I had a relationship with, about 20- 17 years ago. And we went trough a lot together, when we were together, and later as friends.

Now he is married and has 3 kids. I don't speak to him as much as I would want to, but he's extremely busy. I talk to his wife more, and she is becoming a very good friend too. My ex and I still bicker, and she cracks up over that. Because my ex and I can be like an old married couple and blame eachother for little things. Now I love both of them and they both are very supportive of me. And I support them (I baby sit for them).

I feel jalous sometimes, because they are the family that I would want to be. But I can also see how that works between them and would never work between him and me.


Maybe it's possible in the future, at the moment it seems you long back to a time that has gone and you dwell in the past.

..... can anyone else hear Adele's "Someone Like You" playing while they read Emma's post...?

Out of curiosity, didn't they have video conferencing on the net, or Facebook, or forget that,... simple EMAIL when you "went your separate ways"....? Did you use them, Emma?

dJJ d:

domainator2010 said:

EmmaMcG said:

Kazzy88 said:

EmmaMcG said:

dJJ d:

I actually started seeing someone else before he did. We had agreed to see other people while we were apart and if, when I came back, we still felt strongly for each other, we'd pick up where we left off. I had two boyfriends before getting with Sarah. One of them was a complete bastard but he did give me my beautiful daughter. Thankfully, he doesn't want anything to do with her so I never have to see him again. The other one was Kazzy88 from this thread. He's about the closest thing to my soul mate there is, but we work better as friends.
And no, it's not fair on Sarah but I never lied to her about any of this. She knows how I feel. She also knows that I would never do anything behind her back.

Aww, soul mates? I love you too

No contact also means Unfollow on social media, until you can get used to not thinking about him. You're right, it might take a lifetime!

Cinny said:

You don't know how to let go or refuse to let go, I say it's the latter.