When it comes to backstabbers, Control+Alt+Delete !

OldFriends4Sale said:

daingermouz2020 said:

OldFriends4Sale said:

major props to Sheryl Underwood. The real killer are those comedians that were dogging her out yet smiling in her face are just now finding out Sheryl knew about them all these years. I know they feel like crap.

I agree, I've been watching Sheryl for a while. She's come a long way

Nancy, you haven't said hi in years.

I wouldn't cut off a twenty year friendship because the person said something awful about me.

I would confront them. I would ask them why they never confronted me about it.

Then again I am not someone who refuses to hear anything but compliments about myself. I have a family member who had 2 close friends. Very close, they adored her. When I moved back to my hometown they were introduced to me. This family member treated me like I was an idiot and completely incompetent. They said something to her. I wasn't there when they did it. I realized afterwards that she was no longer doing things with them.

Thinking back, would I maintain a friendship with someone who would not listen to the truth about herself? I don't have many friends as is. I tend to be the type that confronts people and doesn't hold it in or confide my opinions to other friends. I am not perfect and don't expect my friends to treat me as if I am. If you think I am wrong say it to my face so that I can learn something and grow from it. If it is just a bunch of nit picking I will let you know that is how I feel.

Deadflow3r said:

I wouldn't cut off a twenty year friendship because the person said something awful about me.

I would confront them. I would ask them why they never confronted me about it.

Then again I am not someone who refuses to hear anything but compliments about myself. I have a family member who had 2 close friends. Very close, they adored her. When I moved back to my hometown they were introduced to me. This family member treated me like I was an idiot and completely incompetent. They said something to her. I wasn't there when they did it. I realized afterwards that she was no longer doing things with them.

Thinking back, would I maintain a friendship with someone who would not listen to the truth about herself? I don't have many friends as is. I tend to be the type that confronts people and doesn't hold it in or confide my opinions to other friends. I am not perfect and don't expect my friends to treat me as if I am. If you think I am wrong say it to my face so that I can learn something and grow from it. If it is just a bunch of nit picking I will let you know that is how I feel.

The reason why I cut this person off after knowing them for over 20+ years is because they made a very nasty comment about me, one that was very degrading and one that I cannot just overlook and say, "Oh well, I forgive you". I don't put up with that bullshit from anybody, much less someone who was supposed to be a "friend". I confronted them about it, asked them why they called me that comment, why they couldn't be honest and tell me what was on their mind, told them that I was very hurt by what they said, asked them how I would feel if they said that to me. They didn't say much, because they knew they fucked up the friendship and that I was pissed off and angry at them. This isn't the first time that I have had issues with this person, and them making this nasty comment was the drop dead deal breaker. I don't need a two-faced, backstabber as a friend. There are already too many fake people in this world that I have to deal with. If someone can't say something to my face, and they have to talk about me behind my back like a little kid, then FUCK THEM! I have the right to cut them out of my life and move on to bigger and better things. I don't need people like that in my life. I would rather be lonely than to be friends with someone who backstabs and cannot be trusted.

I cut off my uncle(my dads brother) when I realized he was doing that to my family:parents, brothers

It was like 3-4 years and the first time I heard from him was August 2013, but I haven't seen him yet.

One thing I've learned is if someone tells/shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM! Meaning, if your so-called best friend is a deceiver, user, gossiping or demeaning others in your presence, they are telling/showing you who they are. Better believe they are going to do the same behind your back. Why would you trust them to be loyal to you if they haven't shown they are loyal to other people? I speak from experience. I learned the hard way.

Someone who truly loves and respects you would never ever, under any circumstances, speak of you in a degrading manner to anyone else. I say forgive them, learn from it, move on and keep your distance from this person. Forgiveness is the greatest form of healing for your heart and soul.

kitbradley said:

One thing I've learned is if someone tells/shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM! Meaning, if your so-called best friend is a deceiver, user, gossiping or demeaning others in your presence, they are telling/showing you who they are. Better believe they are going to do the same behind your back. Why would you trust them to be loyal to you if they haven't shown they are loyal to other people? I speak from experience. I learned the hard way.

Someone who truly loves and respects you would never ever, under any circumstances, speak of you in a degrading manner to anyone else. I say forgive them, learn from it, move on and keep your distance from this person. Forgiveness is the greatest form of healing for your heart and soul.

Yes, I agree with everything you said! Nice to know that I'm not alone in my way of thinking and with my decision to cut this person out of my life. The older I get, the less tolerant I am of other people pulling crap like this on me. I have no time or patience for it.

OldFriends4Sale said:

I cut off my uncle(my dads brother) when I realized he was doing that to my family:parents, brothers

It was like 3-4 years and the first time I heard from him was August 2013, but I haven't seen him yet.

I don't blame you for not keeping in touch with your uncle. Once someone talks negatively about me behind my back, I don't look at them in the same way that I used to. They are pretty much non-existant to me.

psychodelicide said:

OldFriends4Sale said:

I cut off my uncle(my dads brother) when I realized he was doing that to my family:parents, brothers

It was like 3-4 years and the first time I heard from him was August 2013, but I haven't seen him yet.

I don't blame you for not keeping in touch with your uncle. Once someone talks negatively about me behind my back, I don't look at them in the same way that I used to. They are pretty much non-existant to me.

And I it's weird because people would think because of the time I've known him and we were close that it would be forgiven quicker. But really because of the intimate relation the wound is deep. Someone I hardly know or a coworker I can just brush off. A take it or leave it.

OldFriends4Sale said:

psychodelicide said:

I don't blame you for not keeping in touch with your uncle. Once someone talks negatively about me behind my back, I don't look at them in the same way that I used to. They are pretty much non-existant to me.

And I it's weird because people would think because of the time I've known him and we were close that it would be forgiven quicker. But really because of the intimate relation the wound is deep. Someone I hardly know or a coworker I can just brush off. A take it or leave it.

That is so true! I think it's more difficult to forgive someone that you were once close to because of the close bond that you had with that person. A stranger or a coworker is much easier to brush off and dismiss than someone who was close to you.

SeventeenDayze said:

psychodelicide said:

When you catch someone talking about you behind your back, or stabbing you in the back, do you cut them out of your life, or do you give them another chance? I recently caught someone, who I knew for over 20 years and thought was a friend, talking about me online to someone else. I told them off, and told them that they were no longer a friend. Once a person talks about me behind my back, I do not trust them anymore. When I lose trust in a person, it is very, very hard for them to get it back from me (if ever). This has happened to me several times, and I do not feel bad for cutting someone out of my life who I feel has done me wrong. What is your opinion?

[Edited 9/20/14 6:32am]

I think it's one thing for them to talk about you and you're the subject matter but it's another thing to say bad things about you and from what you're saying it sounds like it's the latter and not the former that is going on here. Don't feel bad, nobody needs fake friends. Was the person they were talking to another person they have been friends with a long time? You said you found it online which is weird because that's just rolling out the welcome mat for you to find out about it anyway. That's pretty disrespectful so I think you made the right decision

My former "friend" was saying negative things about me to someone else online. I don't know if they have been friends with this person for a long time or not, but to me, that makes no difference, because the negative, unnecessary comments were still being made.

I don't feel bad at all for getting rid of this fake friend. I ripped them a new asshole, which they rightfully deserved. They won't have to worry about constipation for many months to come; hell, they'll probably need to start wearing Depends to keep from shitting on themselves by accident. They might as well wear a Depends over their mouth too, to prevent them from shit-talking about somebody else, they way they did with me.

[Edited 10/4/14 8:08am]

i tend to prefer people who tell me to my face what they think, rather than sneaking around behind my back whispering about me. if someone has a problem with my behavior or words, i'd prefer they tell me timely, confront me and let me have it.

constructive criticism is a good thing, sometimes we all need to hear the truth about our own flaws. that being said, if a so-called friend were sabotaging me behind my back and not giving me the chance to make right whatever injury i may have inflicted, i'd think twice before trusting that person again.

and then there are sociopaths, people who routinely betray other people with no remorse. when i recognize that quality in another person, i avoid them as much as possible. you cannot win with someone like that

kitbradley said:

I'm still seething angry about this whole situation. I don't think saying that I hate this person is a strong enough word. I know that I need to forgive this person, but it's going to take time.

psychodelicide said:

I'm still seething angry about this whole situation. I don't think saying that I hate this person is a strong enough word. I know that I need to forgive this person, but it's going to take time.

don't let her take any more of your energy

XxAxX said:

psychodelicide said:

I'm still seething angry about this whole situation. I don't think saying that I hate this person is a strong enough word. I know that I need to forgive this person, but it's going to take time.

don't let her take any more of your energy

You're absolutely correct. Unfortunately for me, that's easier said then done. Maybe I need to meditate or something.

purplethunder3121 said:

Good song! Here is another one that I have been listening to lately (this song fits my situation perfectly right now!):

(No time left for you) On my way to better things
(No time left for you) I found myself some wings
(No time left for you) Distant roads are callin' me
(No time left for you)

No time for a summer friend
No time for the love you send
Seasons change and so did I
You need not wonder why
You need not wonder why
There's no time left for you
No time left for you

(No time left for you) On my way to better things
(No time left for you) I found myself some wings
(No time left for you) Distant roads are callin' me
(No time left for you)

No time for a gentle rain
No time for my watch and chain
No time for revolving doors
No time for the killin' floor
No time for the killin' floor
There's no time left for you
No time left for you

No time for a summer friend
No time for the love you send
Seasons change and so did I
You need not wonder why
You need not wonder why
There's no time left for you
No time left for you

No time, no time, no time, no time
No time, no time, no time, no time
I got, got, got, got no time
I got, got, got, got no time
I got, got, got, got no time
No-no-no, no-no-no, no time
No-no-no, no-no-no, no time
I got, got, got, got no time
No-no-no, no-no-no, no-no-no,
No-no-no, no-no-no, no-no-no, no time
I got no time, got no time, got no time, got no time, got no time
Got no time, got no time


Hell yeah!

I wish I could take this ex-friend out mafia style. Where is The Godfather when I need him?