Seriously, it depends upon the person that is verbally dumping on me. I try to show compassion for their problems and sometimes let them vent. There is a girl I work with and it seems that lately all she likes to do is complain about a couple of our co-workers. Sometimes it's justified and sometimes it's not. When she goes overboard I like to change the subject after awhile or turn up the radio and just sing. It works by changing her mood also because she sings in the car too.

I remember when I used to be complaining like that a lot because I was frustrated and didn't know how to cope with my problems and all I could do was talk them out. Maybe it's because I was needy too, but I was always aware that I didn't want to drain people and seem too needy. I know I could be that way too in the past.

Sometimes people go through shit and you don't realize how important you are to them. I feel shame reading these responses because I apply them to me. I left an abusive relationship and tried to prepare myself by bracing with family, friends and coworkers.

I'm four months into this mess and, as much as I feel better, I know I still run at the mouth at work all the time. I vow to myself that I'm over it and plunge into work, but when someone stops by to ask how things are, I just...run at the mouth. It's so very important to me, it's all I think about. But I know that everyone in my cube farm is tired of hearing it. These are the ladies that helped me take the first leap though...

I don't want to dwell but, fuck, this is hard.

honeyandmilk said:

wildgoldenhoney said:

Deadflow3r said:

It really is.

It is a name for people that completely pull you down.

They are the people that whenever you are around them you walk away feeling completely drained of energy. Sometime feel like they always leave you with a headache or needing to take a nap.

That's what I'm telling iaminpanties.

That's what I thought your name was all this time. I am cracking up right now.

wildgoldenhoney said:

That's what I thought your name was all this time. I am cracking up right now.

Sounds better

honeyandmilk said:

Sometimes people go through shit and you don't realize how important you are to them. I feel shame reading these responses because I apply them to me. I left an abusive relationship and tried to prepare myself by bracing with family, friends and coworkers.

I'm four months into this mess and, as much as I feel better, I know I still run at the mouth at work all the time. I vow to myself that I'm over it and plunge into work, but when someone stops by to ask how things are, I just...run at the mouth. It's so very important to me, it's all I think about. But I know that everyone in my cube farm is tired of hearing it. These are the ladies that helped me take the first leap though...

I don't want to dwell but, fuck, this is hard.

O.K. this is the hard part. The problem here is they are asking you. So you feel that they really want to know that you are doing better etc. Next thing you know your getting more deeply into it then you desire.

Now that I have lost custody of my daughter and am looking for a job I can feel like this. What I tell some people is " It is not my favorite topic at the moment. Thank you for asking and I am doing better then I was doing." "Now lets talk about something more fun." .

I get pretty tense when discussing my daughter because I am told that she doesn't want to speak to me over and over again. It is a bit horrible and my voice gets incredibly tense and bitchy should the subject come up. You do not have to go into any conversation that you know changes your tone or manner. You can just say thanks for asking; I appreciate your interest and concern.

Another thing was that I am pretty sure my mother was an emotional vampire. I was always depressed as a kid. I think she'd be devestated if she realized it. She was the mother that constantly told her kids how she always got the short end of the stick and how her husband, our father was a no good sob. It was a bit too much to take.

If I wanted to do anything as a teenager without her, like go to a school game, she would say things like "Go and have fun and I will just be home, being bored with no place to go". I really don't think she understood that children are not put in your life to listen to your missery and make you feel loved. They are the takers of love and attention, not the primary giver of it.

I don't think that most psychic vampires have a clue that they are doing what they are doing.