many people are born to be monogamous (jealousy included)

some people are born to experiment

I'd never cheat, but I'm open to open relationships (pun intended) as long as there's transparency, honesty, consensus and safety guaranteed (AIDS, anyone?)

I still don't understand why people to whom monogamy is not a serious thing choose to get involved in what they know will be a monogamous relationship and then choose to cheat... I guess it is the cloak-and-dagger cheating that is the addictive thrill... Life is much simpler when you are just straight up and honest about it... There's nothing wrong with wanting more than one person... As long as everyone involved is on board with it.

JoeTyler said:

many people are born to be monogamous (jealousy included)

some people are born to experiment

I'd never cheat, but I'm open to open relationships (pun intended) as long as there's transparency, honesty, consensus and safety guaranteed (AIDS, anyone?)

1.) A touch of jealousy can be cut

2.) I think everyone experiments, some of the spiciest monogaous relationships (whether it's traditional, Dom/Sub etc) I assume experiment doesn't = cheat

3.) 5 Stars... people are talking like they are in some kind of utopia, the rates HIV and other STD are not going down...

purplethunder3121 said:

I still don't understand why people to whom monogamy is not a serious thing choose to get involved in what they know will be a monogamous relationship and then choose to cheat... I guess it is the cloak-and-dagger cheating that is the addictive thrill... Life is much simpler when you are just straight up and honest about it... There's nothing wrong with wanting more than one person... As long as everyone involved is on board with it.

That's what I say...

Some people just have dark hearts

There are women who don't want to be tied down to 1 man, and are still clean, safe and mature

Too many mind games...

PurpleJedi said:

TD3 said:

There you go and here in-lies the issue... because some folks would rather lie for various reasons. They want their cake and they want to eat it too.

Answering the question...

For human beings by in large I think its an unatural state.

Pretty much.

I am not interested in whether or not it's "natural", "un-natural" or whatever.

It is what it is. Some people want to sleep around. Some people don't.

Just as long as you are HONEST...then that's all that matters. If people were honest to themselves to begin with, many of these problems could be alleviated.

So...if you don't want to be in a committed monogamous relationship, don't commit, AND for God's sake, don't get involved with someone who WANTS monogamy.
Same goes for monogamous people...don't mess around with someone who wants an open relationshio and think that they're going to change (or worse, that you're going to change them!).

If you don't know WHAT the hell you want, then do some soul-searching before messing with someone's life.

You hit 7 nails on the head there

OldFriends4Sale said:

nd33 said:

morningsong said: Not necessary to put down people who don't wish to partake in monogamy by saying they're not up to the challenge. Sounds like a dumb challenge. People should just do what they want as long as they're not hurting anyone else. The "challenge" of not ever having physical relations with anyone except one particular person for a whole lifetime, when you are sure as hell also attracted to other people, seems like a big waste of time. You think someone's gonna give you a medal on your deathbed? I'd rather my challenges be things like writing a really good song, doing my job successfully and gaining the respect of my peers, making a living out of doing something I really enjoy, becoming more proficient at things I like to do and becoming a good cook than some kind of deprivation!

People talk about a life time, like from the time they come into the world till the time they reach 120yrs their tied to that one person. Most people don't even live to be 55yrs old. Most people start being sexually active from 17-20 depending on gender(something like that) and of course as we age we have less sex. (even with Viagra) so the idea of being with 1 person for a lifetime, shouldn't be that bad, especially because companionship is really big as we get older.
.

Some people aren't up to the challenge, and a lot of people don't know why they do what they do or like what they like. And a lot of people are not honest with what they want or like. If a person doesn't want a monogamous relationship, then be honest with the other person. But a lot of people are not. And that's where hurting others and trouble comes in. There are all kinds of diseases out there, and a lot of troubled people have sex.

.

This definately isn't a perfect world, and sex can be very good or very bad.

People stand flat-footed and say every single word of those vows without taking into consideration (or caring) those are meant to be a verbal contract not a cute poem you're reciting for everybody's entertainment. If you don't mean it, be adult enough and don't say it, this ain't the 1950s. I've never been that naive, I know what world I'm living in so I don't call myself trying to define everybody's life. Unfortunately some people just enjoy the game, I've discovered, of sneaking around while they have a guarantee at home, the true challenge for them is putting up an outside image and not getting caught in a lie. I don't get those people at all.

morningsong said:

OldFriends4Sale said:

People talk about a life time, like from the time they come into the world till the time they reach 120yrs their tied to that one person. Most people don't even live to be 55yrs old. Most people start being sexually active from 17-20 depending on gender(something like that) and of course as we age we have less sex. (even with Viagra) so the idea of being with 1 person for a lifetime, shouldn't be that bad, especially because companionship is really big as we get older.
.

Some people aren't up to the challenge, and a lot of people don't know why they do what they do or like what they like. And a lot of people are not honest with what they want or like. If a person doesn't want a monogamous relationship, then be honest with the other person. But a lot of people are not. And that's where hurting others and trouble comes in. There are all kinds of diseases out there, and a lot of troubled people have sex.

.

This definately isn't a perfect world, and sex can be very good or very bad.

People stand flat-footed and say every single word of those vows without taking into consideration (or caring) those are meant to be a verbal contract not a cute poem you're reciting for everybody's entertainment. If you don't mean it, be adult enough and don't say it, this ain't the 1950s. I've never been that naive, I know what world I'm living in so I don't call myself trying to define everybody's life. Unfortunately some people just enjoy the game, I've discovered, of sneaking around while they have a guarantee at home, the true challenge for them is putting up an outside image and not getting caught in a lie. I don't get those people at all.

morningsong said:

OldFriends4Sale said:

People talk about a life time, like from the time they come into the world till the time they reach 120yrs their tied to that one person. Most people don't even live to be 55yrs old. Most people start being sexually active from 17-20 depending on gender(something like that) and of course as we age we have less sex. (even with Viagra) so the idea of being with 1 person for a lifetime, shouldn't be that bad, especially because companionship is really big as we get older.
.

Some people aren't up to the challenge, and a lot of people don't know why they do what they do or like what they like. And a lot of people are not honest with what they want or like. If a person doesn't want a monogamous relationship, then be honest with the other person. But a lot of people are not. And that's where hurting others and trouble comes in. There are all kinds of diseases out there, and a lot of troubled people have sex.

.

This definately isn't a perfect world, and sex can be very good or very bad.

People stand flat-footed and say every single word of those vows without taking into consideration (or caring) those are meant to be a verbal contract not a cute poem you're reciting for everybody's entertainment. If you don't mean it, be adult enough and don't say it, this ain't the 1950s. I've never been that naive, I know what world I'm living in so I don't call myself trying to define everybody's life. Unfortunately some people just enjoy the game, I've discovered, of sneaking around while they have a guarantee at home, the true challenge for them is putting up an outside image and not getting caught in a lie. I don't get those people at all.

Not for me!

SweeTeaII said:

does that go for women too? or just men cause in some parts of the world having more than one wife is "normal" but is there anyplace in the world where it's normal for a woman to have more than one husband? what's your take on this, one woman with two or more husbands, abnormal and unnatural? just curious....

I believe that there are tribes in the Amazon where women have more than one husband.

Won't google it to confirm, but I recall seeing something on TV (or maybe a tribe in Polynesia?)

It's a choice. Nothing more, nothing less.

JustErin said:

PurpleJedi said:

SweeTeaII said:

does that go for women too? or just men cause in some parts of the world having more than one wife is "normal" but is there anyplace in the world where it's normal for a woman to have more than one husband? what's your take on this, one woman with two or more husbands, abnormal and unnatural? just curious....

I believe that there are tribes in the Amazon where women have more than one husband.

Won't google it to confirm, but I recall seeing something on TV (or maybe a tribe in Polynesia?)

I read not long ago a small asian community, rural, where the women marry the brothers. It's due to limited land for farming so they didn't need a massive amount of children but they needed better productivity on family land.