So, just for laughs, why don't some of you write about yourself as if you were posting an ad on a dating website?

Seventeendayze,

Black female, early 30s, seems to be involved in drama including lawsuits, loveletters and other random shit. Enjoys listening to Prince, Lenny Kravitz, David Bowie, perhaps in denial about having fetish for male crossdressers. Likes the whiteboys and generally loathes the 9 to 5 life...

latino-male sometimes bi gender,androphile, enjoys fantasy and sci-fi, food mostly veggie, loves collecting japanese music, writer, likes cats, likes to run around towns while singing, loves libraries, but hates small spaces. lets create a fantasy world for the both of us, a place where the roses never stop growing. A place where rules do not exist and time as well. let's go to distant...

also be able to handle my other personality.

ZombieKitten said:

Confused housewife with hermit tendencies. Avoids social interaction. Loves to cook but not for other people. Not seeking any kind of friendship or relationship just PEACE AND QUIET.

Dare I ask why are you confused?

SeventeenDayze said:

I did a Backpage ad 5 years ago.

40 for half 80 for hour

WSM

Risky photo

That was a failure but i did nab a client.$80 for hours work.I got such emotional high off that.

but between cab services and horny pills.It wasn't gonna work.

Plus female johns are rarity

WSM

[Edited 3/9/13 20:09pm]

Rococo said:

latino-male sometimes bi gender,androphile, enjoys fantasy and sci-fi, food mostly veggie, loves collecting japanese music, writer, likes cats, likes to run around towns while singing, loves libraries, but hates small spaces. lets create a fantasy world for the both of us, a place where the roses never stop growing. A place where rules do not exist and time as well. let's go to distant...

also be able to handle my other personality.

describe your personality

iaminparties said:

Rococo said:

latino-male sometimes bi gender,androphile, enjoys fantasy and sci-fi, food mostly veggie, loves collecting japanese music, writer, likes cats, likes to run around towns while singing, loves libraries, but hates small spaces. lets create a fantasy world for the both of us, a place where the roses never stop growing. A place where rules do not exist and time as well. let's go to distant...

also be able to handle my other personality.

describe your personality

crazy...no kidding

uh....whimsical, introvert, shy, opionated, dreamer, submissive( i pretend to be), stuff...

Hung dude with very large penis seeking female with vagina (any size is fine). Must have slightly less attractive friend for wingman Admiral.

CaptainChaos said:

Hung dude with very large penis seeking female with vagina (any size is fine). Must have slightly less attractive friend for wingman Admiral.

has to be a woman right?

CaptainChaos said:

Hung dude with very large penis seeking female with vagina (any size is fine). Must have slightly less attractive friend for wingman Admiral.

Rococo said:

CaptainChaos said:

Hung dude with very large penis seeking female with vagina (any size is fine). Must have slightly less attractive friend for wingman Admiral.

has to be a woman right?

For me, probably. For Admiral, don't really care.

I only get hunged like Captainchaos if the woman is a nine or dime

iaminparties said:

I only get hunged like Captainchaos if the woman is a nine or dime

Does two 5s equal a dime? How about 3 threes and a one?

CaptainChaos said:

iaminparties said:

I only get hunged like Captainchaos if the woman is a nine or dime

Does two 5s equal a dime? How about 3 threes and a one?

The womans attraction is equal to my penis size

A deuce is 2 inches

A dime is 10 inches

Do u memba that chick i orgnote you?

How would u rate her and what would be Captainchaos size for her?

iaminparties said:

CaptainChaos said:

Does two 5s equal a dime? How about 3 threes and a one?

The womans attraction is equal to my penis size

A deuce is 2 inches

A dime is 10 inches

Do u memba that chick i orgnote you?

How would u rate her and what would be Captainchaos size for her?

Captain genreally uses a yardsrick but she was pretty hot...

CaptainChaos said:

iaminparties said:

The womans attraction is equal to my penis size

A deuce is 2 inches

A dime is 10 inches

Do u memba that chick i orgnote you?

How would u rate her and what would be Captainchaos size for her?

Captain genreally uses a yardsrick but she was pretty hot...

50 + bag a weed

iaminparties said:

CaptainChaos said:

Captain genreally uses a yardsrick but she was pretty hot...

50 + bag a weed

I'm about to fire Admiral as a wingman so if you are looking for gainful employment...

CaptainChaos said:

iaminparties said:

50 + bag a weed

I'm about to fire Admiral as a wingman so if you are looking for gainful employment...

Sign me up

You guys are nuts, LOL! Hey gainful employment wouldn't be so bad either Killing two birds with one stone!

I was a failed trick but could serve as a driver

Alot of girls where i live are 420 specials

SeventeenDayze said:

You guys are nuts, LOL! Hey gainful employment wouldn't be so bad either Killing two birds with one stone!

Working for the Captain is very rewarding but is hard work. And hanging with me brings sights that you just can't unsee. The confidentiality agreement is 17 pages long.

CaptainChaos said:

SeventeenDayze said:

You guys are nuts, LOL! Hey gainful employment wouldn't be so bad either Killing two birds with one stone!

Working for the Captain is very rewarding but is hard work. And hanging with me brings sights that you just can't unsee. The confidentiality agreement is 17 pages long.

Do you wear your gimp suit often?

Ok this thread is getting scary, LOL!

Forgot my add

Male seeking female 40+inch arse/tied tubes/bleached anus optional

Must have a weird friend-A goth chick or a midget

My photo ad

iaminparties said:

CaptainChaos said:

Working for the Captain is very rewarding but is hard work. And hanging with me brings sights that you just can't unsee. The confidentiality agreement is 17 pages long.

Do you wear your gimp suit often?

I had Admiral wear a gimp suit one time. We made a box for him to hang out in but he forgot to cut nose holes and a mouth hole so a couple of days later I found him still in the box "technically dead". The Captain was able to get Admiral to the hospital and after donating some of my super blood, Admiral was able to regain consciousness and function at about 82% of what he did before the misadventure.

For some reason, I have not be able to get him to get back into the gimp suit after that.

"Probably crazier & hotter than you; dates & sex ONLY at my place; everything will be cool if you don't try anything foolish (laugh at my albums) / weird (scat-dirty genitalia) / dangerous (like trying to rob me /kill me)"

[Edited 3/10/13 9:20am]

self-centred, dateless-wonder seeks woman with low self esteem and lower expectations that dosn't mind being disappointed in bed and in general.

I could also include, "repressed, former Baptist and possibly a bit of a drama queen seeks stable, rich white dude to finance her and roleplay a few days a week with but not on Sundays" lol