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Thread started 06/01/12 10:30am

funkpill

A Man Thinks That His Wife Is Cheating On Him

With another woman.


So he goes to find a talking parrot.

He walks into the first store and asks the clerk how much is their best talking bird, and the clerk says $500.

So he says how much is your least talking bird and the clerk says $400.

He goes to another store and he asks the clerk how much their best talking bird is and the clerk says $300.

Then he ask the price of their cheapest talking bird and the clerk says $200.

At the next store, the clerk says their best talking bird is only $25, and the man says he’ll take it.

When the clerk gets back with the bird he tells the man the bird has no legs.

The man asks how he stays on the bar and the clerk says he wraps his penis around the bar.

He takes the bird home and puts it in his wife’s room.

The next day he goes back into the room and starts talking to the bird.

First he asks what happened while he was gone.

The bird says first his wife walked into the room with another woman following her.

Then they undressed and got into the bed.

The man says what happened after that. The bird says, "I don’t know I fell off the bar." confused

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Reply #1 posted 06/01/12 10:36am

PurpleJedi

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falloff

Happy Friday!!!!

(Finally!)

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #2 posted 06/01/12 10:37am

Timmy84

lol

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Reply #3 posted 06/01/12 10:37am

Nothinbutjoy

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giggle

Happy Friday Funkhoney!!

hug martini dancing jig

I'm firmly planted in denial
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Reply #4 posted 06/01/12 10:39am

paintedlady

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lol

good one.

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Reply #5 posted 06/01/12 10:52am

XxAxX

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birds do not have penises. neutral otherwise, an excellent joke! biggrin

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Reply #6 posted 06/01/12 11:15am

Timmy84

I got a parrot/sex related joke from LaWanda Page:

A lady and her husband had this parrot and they were living in this outhouse

And every day this parrot would tattletale on her cheating on her husband

When the husband would come home, the parrot would yell 'the bitch been fuckin', the bitch been fuckin'

And the husband would beat the hell out of her

So the lady got tired of the parrot tattletaling on her and said 'I'm tired of you tattletaling so I'm gonna knock a hole in your head and put you in the toilet'

So she knocked a hole in his head and put him in the toilet and thought he was dead

He wasn't

The next day, the lady went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet

And once the parrot saw her ass sitting on the toilet

He yelled "hey! If you can live with that hole in your ass I can sure live with this hole in my head!"

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Reply #7 posted 06/01/12 11:27am

JoeTyler

XxAxX said:

birds do not have penises. neutral otherwise, an excellent joke! biggrin

excuse me? they do have a penis...

tinkerbell
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Reply #8 posted 06/01/12 11:27am

paintedlady

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XxAxX said:

birds do not have penises. neutral otherwise, an excellent joke! biggrin

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Reply #9 posted 06/01/12 11:28am

Timmy84

XxAxX said:

birds do not have penises. neutral otherwise, an excellent joke! biggrin

All animals got dicks. geek

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Reply #10 posted 06/01/12 11:31am

JoeTyler

Timmy84 said:

XxAxX said:

birds do not have penises. neutral otherwise, an excellent joke! biggrin

All animals got dicks. geek

XxAxX's tender love for birds has blinded her from the truth lol

I catched my two parakeets having a blast sometimes, and they always looked at me with that "the fuck are you looking at?" stare, the two little heads staring at me, in a doggystyle position falloff Rest in peace, sweet angels.

tinkerbell
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Reply #11 posted 06/01/12 11:32am

XxAxX

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JoeTyler said:

XxAxX said:

birds do not have penises. neutral otherwise, an excellent joke! biggrin

excuse me? they do have a penis...

not the kind that would work the way the one in this joke does confused

and YES. we should ALL know about BIRD DICKS lol neutral

Most birds mate by contact at the cloaca area. Sperm transfer from the male occurs when each partner's cloaca everts and tiny papilae protruding from the posterior walls of the male's sperm sacs in his cloaca are brought into contact with the opening of the female's oviduct.

A few birds have an erectile, penis-like organ but not all birds. This intromittent organ is a special modification of the ventral wall of the cloaca and it exits in birds such as tinamous, most waterfowl, currasows and ostriches. Chicken and turkeys have a small penis, which enlarges with lymph fluid that is added to semen in the vas deferens in the reproduction system. Ejaculation of this fluid occurs through a longitudinal phallic groove. Why such different birds have evolved such an organ while others do not is not clear.


Read more: Why can't I see my male parrots penis, where is it? | Answerbag http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/990155#ixzz1wZGeMrTG

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Reply #12 posted 06/01/12 11:33am

Timmy84

JoeTyler said:

Timmy84 said:

All animals got dicks. geek

XxAxX's tender love for birds has blinded her from the truth lol

I catched my two parakeets having a blast sometimes, and they always looked at me with that "the fuck are you looking at?" stare, the two little heads staring at me, in a doggystyle position falloff Rest in peace, sweet angels.

falloff They were GETTING it! cool RIP indeed.

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Reply #13 posted 06/01/12 11:33am

XxAxX

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JoeTyler said:

Timmy84 said:

All animals got dicks. geek

XxAxX's tender love for birds has blinded her from the truth lol

I catched my two parakeets having a blast sometimes, and they always looked at me with that "the fuck are you looking at?" stare, the two little heads staring at me, in a doggystyle position falloff Rest in peace, sweet angels.

awww my birds do that all the time. especially in spring. see above

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Reply #14 posted 06/01/12 11:34am

JoeTyler

XxAxX said:

JoeTyler said:

excuse me? they do have a penis...

not the kind that would work the way the one in this joke does confused

oh,lol of course not, ok then

tinkerbell
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Reply #15 posted 06/01/12 11:36am

Timmy84

XxAxX said:

JoeTyler said:

excuse me? they do have a penis...

not the kind that would work the way the one in this joke does confused

and YES. we should ALL know about BIRD DICKS lol neutral

Most birds mate by contact at the cloaca area. Sperm transfer from the male occurs when each partner's cloaca everts and tiny papilae protruding from the posterior walls of the male's sperm sacs in his cloaca are brought into contact with the opening of the female's oviduct.

A few birds have an erectile, penis-like organ but not all birds. This intromittent organ is a special modification of the ventral wall of the cloaca and it exits in birds such as tinamous, most waterfowl, currasows and ostriches. Chicken and turkeys have a small penis, which enlarges with lymph fluid that is added to semen in the vas deferens in the reproduction system. Ejaculation of this fluid occurs through a longitudinal phallic groove. Why such different birds have evolved such an organ while others do not is not clear.


Read more: Why can't I see my male parrots penis, where is it? | Answerbag http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/990155#ixzz1wZGeMrTG

Oh OK. Well I guess that's why it was put into a joke because you can say anything in a joke...

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Reply #16 posted 06/01/12 11:36am

morningsong

See what you all started. Gettin' takin' to school. On a Friday at that.

giggle

Anyway, back to the joke lol

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Reply #17 posted 06/01/12 11:37am

Timmy84

Yeah our bad. redface

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Reply #18 posted 06/01/12 11:37am

JoeTyler

Timmy84 said:

JoeTyler said:

XxAxX's tender love for birds has blinded her from the truth lol

I catched my two parakeets having a blast sometimes, and they always looked at me with that "the fuck are you looking at?" stare, the two little heads staring at me, in a doggystyle position falloff Rest in peace, sweet angels.

falloff They were GETTING it! cool RIP indeed.

they died in January-May 2010, the male first, the female didn't last much longer sad

and then a seagull beheaded my golden canary in 2011, which was an amazing singer, I think I've never cried so hard in my life...

currently I own two cockatiels

tinkerbell
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Reply #19 posted 06/01/12 11:38am

Timmy84

JoeTyler said:

Timmy84 said:

falloff They were GETTING it! cool RIP indeed.

they died in January-May 2010, the male first, the female didn't last much longer sad

and then a seagull beheaded my golden canary in 2011, which was an amazing singer, I think I've never cried so hard in my life...

currently I own two cockatiels

Wow, that's sad. sad But I could imagine having birds would be a hoot in the house. lol

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Reply #20 posted 06/01/12 11:39am

XxAxX

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JoeTyler said:

Timmy84 said:

falloff They were GETTING it! cool RIP indeed.

they died in January-May 2010, the male first, the female didn't last much longer sad

and then a seagull beheaded my golden canary in 2011, which was an amazing singer, I think I've never cried so hard in my life...

currently I own two cockatiels

sorry to hear that. birds have a way of finding a perch in our hearts and never, ever quite leaving it.

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Reply #21 posted 06/01/12 11:40am

XxAxX

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Timmy84 said:

XxAxX said:

not the kind that would work the way the one in this joke does confused

and YES. we should ALL know about BIRD DICKS lol neutral

Most birds mate by contact at the cloaca area. Sperm transfer from the male occurs when each partner's cloaca everts and tiny papilae protruding from the posterior walls of the male's sperm sacs in his cloaca are brought into contact with the opening of the female's oviduct.

A few birds have an erectile, penis-like organ but not all birds. This intromittent organ is a special modification of the ventral wall of the cloaca and it exits in birds such as tinamous, most waterfowl, currasows and ostriches. Chicken and turkeys have a small penis, which enlarges with lymph fluid that is added to semen in the vas deferens in the reproduction system. Ejaculation of this fluid occurs through a longitudinal phallic groove. Why such different birds have evolved such an organ while others do not is not clear.


Read more: Why can't I see my male parrots penis, where is it? | Answerbag http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/990155#ixzz1wZGeMrTG

Oh OK. Well I guess that's why it was put into a joke because you can say anything in a joke...

i like to set the record straight about bird genitalia giggle let's not go into exactly why smile

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Reply #22 posted 06/01/12 11:42am

Timmy84

XxAxX said:

Timmy84 said:

Oh OK. Well I guess that's why it was put into a joke because you can say anything in a joke...

i like to set the record straight about bird genitalia giggle let's not go into exactly why smile

Yeah let's stay on topic. biggrin

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Reply #23 posted 06/01/12 11:42am

JoeTyler

XxAxX said:

JoeTyler said:

they died in January-May 2010, the male first, the female didn't last much longer sad

and then a seagull beheaded my golden canary in 2011, which was an amazing singer, I think I've never cried so hard in my life...

currently I own two cockatiels

sorry to hear that. birds have a way of finding a perch in our hearts and never, ever quite leaving it.

you know, birds are the only thing that can melt my cynical ass/heart sad touched

and war casualties/poverty/famine, but that's another story

tinkerbell
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Reply #24 posted 06/01/12 11:45am

XxAxX

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JoeTyler said:

XxAxX said:

sorry to hear that. birds have a way of finding a perch in our hearts and never, ever quite leaving it.

you know, birds are the only thing that can melt my cynical ass/heart sad touched

and war casualties/poverty/famine, but that's another story

yes. i agree. there is something truly therapeutic about the soft smell of birds and the way they allow me to sink my nose up to the hilt in their neck feathers and blow hot spots.

everyone should know this joy. people, i'm not always so fond of, but animals, especially birds..... mushy

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Reply #25 posted 06/01/12 11:48am

JoeTyler

XxAxX said:

JoeTyler said:

you know, birds are the only thing that can melt my cynical ass/heart sad touched

and war casualties/poverty/famine, but that's another story

yes. i agree. there is something truly therapeutic about the soft smell of birds and the way they allow me to sink my nose up to the hilt in their neck feathers and blow hot spots.

everyone should know this joy. people, i'm not always so fond of, but animals, especially birds..... mushy

nod mushy

and their shit doesn't stink! lol

tinkerbell
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Reply #26 posted 06/01/12 11:56am

HuMpThAnG

The bird fell off the bar

dang rolleyes

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Reply #27 posted 06/01/12 2:10pm

paintedlady

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HuMpThAnG said:

The bird fell off the bar

dang rolleyes

comfort

[img:$uid]http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc99/gataloca_bucket/521280_338465072888702_1419440191_n.jpg[/img:$uid]

[Edited 6/1/12 14:19pm]

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Reply #28 posted 06/02/12 3:38pm

ThisOne

falloff

mailto:www.iDon'tThinkSo.com.Uranus
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Reply #29 posted 06/02/12 3:45pm

ThisOne

the joke is just 2 funny!! lol

whilst on the subject ~ bird cock.... well as a kid i always had birds and i always imagined they had big ones (no i never bothered checking) but my theory was that you cant make chicks with all those feathers in the way if it wasnt big... nod

mailto:www.iDon'tThinkSo.com.Uranus
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