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Thread started 03/27/12 3:45pm

JustErin

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A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

... I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here.

I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty


A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO
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Reply #1 posted 03/27/12 3:55pm

Dave1992

So, so very sad. It's appalling how many good-looking girls really think their looks will get them anywhere and are actually dumb, naive and narrow-minded, because society makes them truly believe looks is all they need. I know this might sound like a horrible cliché, but most beautiful women are actually quite superficial (because of their beauty), which is very sad...

His response was good.

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Reply #2 posted 03/27/12 3:55pm

NDRU

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LOL classic

But JP, you would technically "advise" her, not "advice" her.

Now can I have some money too? I'm cute AND smart!

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Reply #3 posted 03/27/12 3:56pm

JustErin

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lol

It's probably a totally fake scenario but it's still very funny.

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Reply #4 posted 03/27/12 4:00pm

Dave1992

However, I'm also looking for a rich woman to marry. I'm not the very best-looking guy in the world (although I'm not ugly either), but I offer intellectual challenge, creative sex, empathy and I can cook. Anyone?

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Reply #5 posted 03/27/12 4:01pm

Dave1992

JustErin said:

lol

It's probably a totally fake scenario but it's still very funny.

I seriously wouldn't be surprised if it weren't. I have met many girls like that - stunning, but absolutely dumb and horribly superficial.

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Reply #6 posted 03/27/12 4:08pm

XxAxX

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utterly shallow little noob, ain't she? but honest lol

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Reply #7 posted 03/27/12 4:15pm

JustErin

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Can you really blame this silly girl for thinking this way, though? What I mean is, it's not like she came up with this brilliant idea of beauty in exchange for $$$ on her own.

Take a look at our culture.

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Reply #8 posted 03/27/12 4:27pm

Efan

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Interesting. Also interesting (to me) is that it read like this whole thing was written by someone who wasn't a native speaker of English. I think only someone who spoke English as a second language would write something like "And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool."

But that's neither here nor there.

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Reply #9 posted 03/27/12 4:37pm

NDRU

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JustErin said:

Can you really blame this silly girl for thinking this way, though? What I mean is, it's not like she came up with this brilliant idea of beauty in exchange for $$$ on her own.

Take a look at our culture.

not at all. It's the world's oldest profession

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Reply #10 posted 03/27/12 5:18pm

728huey

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Why is anyone surprised at this young woman? She's only been doing what other aspiring women have done since the first cavemen were able to bring home the huge woolly mammoth for dinner. The only thing that sort of shocks me is that she's limiting herself to just Wall Street types to hook up with. Why isn't she gong after pro athletes or Silicon Valley millionaires?

And what exactly does she do for a living? If she's just some barmaid or waitress with a nice rack and bubble booty, she probably has nothing worthwhile to offer any guy in a long term relationship, let alone someone with wealth. Now if she's a model or fashion designer making a high five figure or low six figure salary, she should probably work on her own skills to try to bump up her income to meet that $500,000 range. And just by being a little industrious and/or entrepreneurial, she will probably meet that person who has that income bracket.

typing

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Reply #11 posted 03/27/12 5:18pm

BobGeorge909

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Straight from the hip, no punches pulled, yet not excessive.
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Reply #12 posted 03/27/12 5:20pm

ThruTheEyesOfW
onder

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728huey said:

Why is anyone surprised at this young woman? She's only been doing what other aspiring women have done since the first cavemen were able to bring home the huge woolly mammoth for dinner. The only thing that sort of shocks me is that she's limiting herself to just Wall Street types to hook up with. Why isn't she gong after pro athletes or Silicon Valley millionaires?

And what exactly does she do for a living? If she's just some barmaid or waitress with a nice rack and bubble booty, she probably has nothing worthwhile to offer any guy in a long term relationship, let alone someone with wealth. Now if she's a model or fashion designer making a high five figure or low six figure salary, she should probably work on her own skills to try to bump up her income to meet that $500,000 range. And just by being a little industrious and/or entrepreneurial, she will probably meet that person who has that income bracket.

typing

yeahthat

My question is...where are her parents? Did they raise her to be like this? lol

The salvation of man is through love and in love. - Dr. V. Frankl

"When you close your heart, you close your mind." - Michael Jackson (Man In The Mirror)

"I don't need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off" lol
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Reply #13 posted 03/27/12 5:37pm

JustErin

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728huey said:

Why is anyone surprised at this young woman? She's only been doing what other aspiring women have done since the first cavemen were able to bring home the huge woolly mammoth for dinner. The only thing that sort of shocks me is that she's limiting herself to just Wall Street types to hook up with. Why isn't she gong after pro athletes or Silicon Valley millionaires?

And what exactly does she do for a living? If she's just some barmaid or waitress with a nice rack and bubble booty, she probably has nothing worthwhile to offer any guy in a long term relationship, let alone someone with wealth. Now if she's a model or fashion designer making a high five figure or low six figure salary, she should probably work on her own skills to try to bump up her income to meet that $500,000 range. And just by being a little industrious and/or entrepreneurial, she will probably meet that person who has that income bracket.

typing

Dude, seriously. A girl who would post something like this is probably working at H&M.

And that doesn't mean that she will not be worth having for some men....believe it or not there are some wealthy men that want nothing more than a trophy wife....a little eye candy to show off for a few years and yeah, to some wealthy men getting rid of her for a newer model is worth losing a bit of money.

The reality is that women like her have no problem finding wealthy men. Who cares really? The only thing that makes me ill in these kinds of relationships is when they have kids.

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Reply #14 posted 03/27/12 5:39pm

XxAxX

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Title: What should I do to marry say hi to a rich groovy guy?

... I'm going to be honest of sort of honest about what I'm going to say here.

I'm 25 older than dirt this year. I'm very pretty, not noticeably saggy, have style all my own teeth and good taste hair. I wish to marry say hello to a guy who has a soul, a sense of humor, and can converse about more than beer and football. (Not that there's anything wrong with that). with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy whacked out on cheap street drugs , but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. i really don't care for bigots and fools.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? just say howdy and don't be boring me with remarks like 'nice weather we're having.' (Not that there's anything wrong with that, either).

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons find groovy guys like that you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income none have been skydivers, astronauts or deep sea divers. and it seems that this is might be my upper limit new goal, something to work toward.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area the scary world that is me the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough. he'll need an extra parachute, hip boots, a year's supply of oxygen and a lot of faith.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? eccentric people gather? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym, space shuttle stations, lodges, secret societies)
2) Which age group should I target? are there any others like me out there?
3) No ax murderers, please

4) How do you decide who can be your wife sweet monkey spanker, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married get spanky)

Ms. Pretty
Hanging In There

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Reply #15 posted 03/28/12 4:34am

Ottensen

Love the response. lol

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Reply #16 posted 03/28/12 4:41am

missfee

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Ottensen said:

Love the response. lol

yeahthat falloff

I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince.
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Reply #17 posted 03/28/12 5:01am

RodeoSchro

So what we have here is a beautiful, young woman posting on a message board, and getting a response on that message board from the CEO of JP Morgan.

Yes, that happens all the time on the Internet!

That was a pretty good troll-on-troll exchange, LOL.

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Reply #18 posted 03/28/12 5:07am

Ottensen

RodeoSchro said:

So what we have here is a beautiful, young woman posting on a message board, and getting a response on that message board from the CEO of JP Morgan.

Yes, that happens all the time on the Internet!

That was a pretty good troll-on-troll exchange, LOL.

Indeed, but ya gotta love the Faux JPM-CEO's reply ! lol

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Reply #19 posted 03/28/12 5:14am

Ottensen

This letter reminds me so much of pop culture's GoldDiggeroftheMoment, Baje Fletcher

Baje Fletchers A Gold Diggers Guide

Baje Fletcher is a former video vixen who was on Atlanta’s V103 Frank and Wanda Morning Show on Wednesday, April 20. She has written a book titled, “Guide To Being A Gold Digger.” The book speaks about how men use women for sex. Therefore, she uses men for money. she feels that she was misrepresented on Dr. Phil, they edited the show to make her seen in a negative light. Baje said on V103 that she is a “goal digger”. She goes out to jazz clubs and golf resorts and meets men who make a lot of money, and can buy the things that she needs. Baje gets what she want without sleeping with men. She believes any attractive woman can get what she wants from men without having sex with them. Baje tell men up front that she does not desire to have sex with them. Most men believe they can change her mind by lavishing her with gifts, that she accepts.

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Reply #20 posted 03/28/12 5:15am

RodeoSchro

Ottensen said:

RodeoSchro said:

So what we have here is a beautiful, young woman posting on a message board, and getting a response on that message board from the CEO of JP Morgan.

Yes, that happens all the time on the Internet!

That was a pretty good troll-on-troll exchange, LOL.

Indeed, but ya gotta love the Faux JPM-CEO's reply ! lol

Like I said, great trolling!

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Reply #21 posted 03/28/12 5:50am

KoolEaze

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Those are two different women, right?

Ottensen said:

This letter reminds me so much of pop culture's GoldDiggeroftheMoment, Baje Fletcher

Baje Fletchers A Gold Diggers Guide

Baje Fletcher is a former video vixen who was on Atlanta’s V103 Frank and Wanda Morning Show on Wednesday, April 20. She has written a book titled, “Guide To Being A Gold Digger.” The book speaks about how men use women for sex. Therefore, she uses men for money. she feels that she was misrepresented on Dr. Phil, they edited the show to make her seen in a negative light. Baje said on V103 that she is a “goal digger”. She goes out to jazz clubs and golf resorts and meets men who make a lot of money, and can buy the things that she needs. Baje gets what she want without sleeping with men. She believes any attractive woman can get what she wants from men without having sex with them. Baje tell men up front that she does not desire to have sex with them. Most men believe they can change her mind by lavishing her with gifts, that she accepts.

" I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?"
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Reply #22 posted 03/28/12 6:12am

lauralevesque

Cute & clever what the CEO said but he's wrong. While there are the rich successful men out there that are with the stiffs they met at Harvard, mostly when there is a rich man there is a beautiful woman at his side who is no way his equal. Tiger Woods wife (who I never thought was pretty but because her hair is blonde people keep saying she's beautiful) anyway, she was a nanny and look how many millions she has now. Mayte was fresh out of high school and within a few years she was sharing Prince's lavish lifestyle and she left with a mansion in Spain. Men just don't think that way. They see nice tits and an ass and a pretty face and if that pretty face plays her cards right, he'll marry her. confused

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Reply #23 posted 03/28/12 6:13am

Ottensen

KoolEaze said:

Those are two different women, right?

Ottensen said:

This letter reminds me so much of pop culture's GoldDiggeroftheMoment, Baje Fletcher

Baje Fletchers A Gold Diggers Guide

Baje Fletcher is a former video vixen who was on Atlanta’s V103 Frank and Wanda Morning Show on Wednesday, April 20. She has written a book titled, “Guide To Being A Gold Digger.” The book speaks about how men use women for sex. Therefore, she uses men for money. she feels that she was misrepresented on Dr. Phil, they edited the show to make her seen in a negative light. Baje said on V103 that she is a “goal digger”. She goes out to jazz clubs and golf resorts and meets men who make a lot of money, and can buy the things that she needs. Baje gets what she want without sleeping with men. She believes any attractive woman can get what she wants from men without having sex with them. Baje tell men up front that she does not desire to have sex with them. Most men believe they can change her mind by lavishing her with gifts, that she accepts.

Nah, just really good photoshop lol

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Reply #24 posted 03/28/12 6:32am

BobGeorge909

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lauralevesque said:

Cute & clever what the CEO said but he's wrong. While there are the rich successful men out there that are with the stiffs they met at Harvard, mostly when there is a rich man there is a beautiful woman at his side who is no way his equal. Tiger Woods wife (who I never thought was pretty but because her hair is blonde people keep saying she's beautiful) anyway, she was a nanny and look how many millions she has now. Mayte was fresh out of high school and within a few years she was sharing Prince's lavish lifestyle and she left with a mansion in Spain. Men just don't think that way. They see nice tits and an ass and a pretty face and if that pretty face plays her cards right, he'll marry her. confused




Those r kind of like basketball and rap star examples. Exceptions and not typical. Of all the golddiggers out there, very few of them hit it big.
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Reply #25 posted 03/28/12 9:14am

lauralevesque

BobGeorge909 said:

lauralevesque said:

Cute & clever what the CEO said but he's wrong. While there are the rich successful men out there that are with the stiffs they met at Harvard, mostly when there is a rich man there is a beautiful woman at his side who is no way his equal. Tiger Woods wife (who I never thought was pretty but because her hair is blonde people keep saying she's beautiful) anyway, she was a nanny and look how many millions she has now. Mayte was fresh out of high school and within a few years she was sharing Prince's lavish lifestyle and she left with a mansion in Spain. Men just don't think that way. They see nice tits and an ass and a pretty face and if that pretty face plays her cards right, he'll marry her. confused

Those r kind of like basketball and rap star examples. Exceptions and not typical. Of all the golddiggers out there, very few of them hit it big.

I have an uncle who has a very high position at Proctor & Gamble, makes lots of money, has two homes and a few boats, and the minute his well educated teacher wife began to lose her looks, he married a big tittied blonde floozy. I'm just sayin.....

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Reply #26 posted 03/28/12 10:12am

Ottensen

lauralevesque said:

Cute & clever what the CEO said but he's wrong. While there are the rich successful men out there that are with the stiffs they met at Harvard, mostly when there is a rich man there is a beautiful woman at his side who is no way his equal. Tiger Woods wife (who I never thought was pretty but because her hair is blonde people keep saying she's beautiful) anyway, she was a nanny and look how many millions she has now. Mayte was fresh out of high school and within a few years she was sharing Prince's lavish lifestyle and she left with a mansion in Spain. Men just don't think that way. They see nice tits and an ass and a pretty face and if that pretty face plays her cards right, he'll marry her. confused

But in Ellen Woods case she was more than a nanny. She was at least a relatively well known model before she was with Tiger, though, and comes from a powerful political family in her neck of the woods--- so I just have a feeling she would have turned out accomplished without having married him.

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Reply #27 posted 03/29/12 12:19am

novabrkr

The response seems a bit fake. I don't think it's a realistic description of how those things work.

From what I can tell, "rich men's wives" look often sort of mundane, because the two have started dating already when both were still studying or something like that. They dress up in expensive clothes, but not necessarily in a very sexually provocative manner. As for the other type that you see - those high-fashion types - they don't usually come off as naturally beautiful to me. It's all about the hair dye, lots of make-up and short skirts and heels so high that you couldn't walk more than a few blocks with them without jumping on a cab. Maybe the "rich men" tend to be just one sort of fetishists and aren't really interested in what the women really look like. They often seem to be more interested in what type of an image the woman has chosen for herself and what type of clothing items they wear (I think they often look like "cleaned up" versions of porn actresses).

As for what those women often end up looking like later on...


I think I've admitted plenty of times on this site that I like older women a lot, but... c'mon now.

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Reply #28 posted 03/29/12 12:50am

Timmy84

JustErin said:

lol

It's probably a totally fake scenario but it's still very funny.

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Reply #29 posted 03/29/12 1:00am

guitarslinger4
4

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Women are shallow and guys are dumb.

Why doesn't she just become an escort? IT would take a lot of the guesswork out of the equasion. lol

That or move out of the damn City. NYC is basically just a playground for rich WAll Street assholes nowadays anyway. mad

[Edited 3/29/12 1:02am]

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