NDRU said:

One thing giving me a huge head-ache is the either being "per-Sie" or "per-Du" in German, sort of like the old English "thee" and "thou", depending on how close you are to the person you're talking to, how big the age difference is and who of you is "weaker" or potential "servant" to the other.

Now, it hardly ever happens that your teacher at school comes over and says: "Hey, I'm Jonathan, you can say "Du"!" and shakes your hand, for instance. So, usually, you can tell whether there's a chance you can say "Du" to someone or not.

However, weirdly, it often happens to me that people who are older than me, who have way more authority and whom I would have never thought to call "Du" would come over and be way more relaxed than they are towards other people and let me call them "Du".

I often forget that I'm actually closer to some people and still adress them with "Sie" and "Sir", and they sometimes have to remind me four to five times that I can call them by their first name.

But what's even more embarrassing is when I think I'm sure that someone told me to call them "Du", but they didn't. Then I come across as an extremely impolite, rude and stupid youth, and, believe it or not, I'm actually very wary and accurate when it comes to manners.

I absolutely hate that

(I also don't like other people calling me "Sie". That started one or two years ago, probably because I started to look like I was older than 18. At university I got used to it, but outside of it I can't stand older people calling me "Sie"!)

Dave1992 said:

One thing giving me a huge head-ache is the either being "per-Sie" or "per-Du" in German, sort of like the old English "thee" and "thou", depending on how close you are to the person you're talking to, how big the age difference is and who of you is "weaker" or potential "servant" to the other.

Now, it hardly ever happens that your teacher at school comes over and says: "Hey, I'm Jonathan, you can say "Du"!" and shakes your hand, for instance. So, usually, you can tell whether there's a chance you can say "Du" to someone or not.

However, weirdly, it often happens to me that people who are older than me, who have way more authority and whom I would have never thought to call "Du" would come over and be way more relaxed than they are towards other people and let me call them "Du".

I often forget that I'm actually closer to some people and still adress them with "Sie" and "Sir", and they sometimes have to remind me four to five times that I can call them by their first name.

But what's even more embarrassing is when I think I'm sure that someone told me to call them "Du", but they didn't. Then I come across as an extremely impolite, rude and stupid youth, and, believe it or not, I'm actually very wary and accurate when it comes to manners.

I absolutely hate that

(I also don't like other people calling me "Sie". That started one or two years ago, probably because I started to look like I was older than 18. At university I got used to it, but outside of it I can't stand older people calling me "Sie"!)

Same thing in Spanish with the formal "usted" and the casual "tu".

My Central American heritage leans me towards addressing elders, people in authority or even strangers with the formal greetings & verbs.

People in the caribean (Puerto Rico, Cuba, Santo Domingo) tend to use the casual form across-the-board.

So I always felt awkward when speaking to my in-laws because, being Puerto Rican, they almost never used "usted" (my ex rarely did when talking to my parents) yet I always instinctively used that form. I felt "rude" using "tu" with them.

paintsprayer said:

http://www.monster.com/

Deadcake said:

NDRU said:

the point is not so much whether or not she was correct, but rather, how does that statement come up in an office situation, and doesn't the boss have more important things to worry about?

Your boss is highly inappropriate

we all know the org is the only appropriate place for such a convo!

NDRU said:

Deadcake said:

PurpleJedi said: My friends daughter was not even 2 and she would bring herself to orgasm obsessively and repeatedly. She took the kid to the doc who said ignore it or she'll get a complex. I think one day it went too far (the kid was doing it under the glasstop dinner table when they had dinner guests. Kid was told only to do it when she was alone. She is about 10 now, pretty well adjusted kid too.

the point is not so much whether or not she was correct, but rather, how does that statement come up in an office situation, and doesn't the boss have more important things to worry about?

I view life differently, although Boss and employee can't always be on the same level, I find no real issue with the subject. I can see where some could-I just don't force restrictions on subjects. I mean your not supposed to talk about politics at work. Once I talk with my boss about the taboo subject of politics in the work place. She agreed that your not suppose to talk about politics, I said why not? I then told her that Republicans are best served on toast. She spit her coffee out laughing. I might add she is a conservative Republican. My point is that although you are not supposed to talk about certain things-I ask why not???? And who says?? The way this is answered depends on the kind of work and the environment in which you work.

kewlschool said:

NDRU said:

the point is not so much whether or not she was correct, but rather, how does that statement come up in an office situation, and doesn't the boss have more important things to worry about?

I view life differently, although Boss and employee can't always be on the same level, I find no real issue with the subject. I can see where some could-I just don't force restrictions on subjects. I mean your not supposed to talk about politics at work. Once I talk with my boss about the taboo subject of politics in the work place. She agreed that your not suppose to talk about politics, I said why not? I then told her that Republicans are best served on toast. She spit her coffee out laughing. I might add she is a conservative Republican. My point is that although you are not supposed to talk about certain things-I ask why not???? And who says?? The way this is answered depends on the kind of work and the environment in which you work.

The short answer is you're supposed to be working, not discussing masturbatory habits of infants. But I know we all have personal conversations at work.

I suppose it just depends on the situation. Not everyone is going to be offended. I'm not easily offended. But my boss could be fired for the things she has said, that's why she shouldn't say them.

Plus, it puts people in an uncomfortable place if they are offended, because it's not always easy to confront your boss about things like that. That's why certain standards exist in the workplace, so that most people are in environments that are not crossing the line.

Let people have chats like that at 5:15 over a beer if they want to.

I had a friend who once made a joking comment about how it would be cool to fuck a baby.

It didn't get the reaction he had hoped for.

People don't take baby jokes very well.

minneapolisFunq said:

I had a friend who once made a joking comment about how it would be cool to fuck a baby.

It didn't get the reaction he had hoped for.

People don't take baby jokes very well.

Ya think!? WTF?

The real simple concept here is this...

You're getting paid to be a professional, or act in a professional manner.

Definition of PROFESSIONAL

[Edited 1/11/12 12:24pm]

NDRU said:

Deadcake said:

NDRU said: Your boss is highly inappropriate

we all know the org is the only appropriate place for such a convo!

Cerebus said:

minneapolisFunq said:

I had a friend who once made a joking comment about how it would be cool to fuck a baby.

It didn't get the reaction he had hoped for.

People don't take baby jokes very well.

Ya think!? WTF?

In high school a friend of mine told me some funny "dead baby" jokes...(this was HIGH SCHOOL people)...but there's really nothing funny about infant pedophilia.

The former CEO of the company I work for once asked me if he's ever made a pass at me.

And he is straigth.

MacDaddy said:

The former CEO of the company I work for once asked me if he's ever made a pass at me.

And he is straigth.

Uhm...say what now?

PurpleJedi said:

MacDaddy said:

The former CEO of the company I work for once asked me if he's ever made a pass at me.

And he is straigth.

Uhm...say what now?

It was all a bit tongue in cheek, mind you. My reply was:'No, why haven't you. you arse!'

MacDaddy said:

PurpleJedi said:

Uhm...say what now?

It was all a bit tongue in cheek, mind you. My reply was:'No, why haven't you. you arse!'

Ahh....gotcha!

Cerebus said:

The real simple concept here is this...

You're getting paid to be a professional, or act in a professional manner.

¹pro·fes·sion·al

adj \prə-ˈfesh-nəl, -ˈfe-shə-n^əl\

Definition of PROFESSIONAL

1

a : of, relating to, or characteristic of a profession b : engaged in one of the learned professions c (1) : characterized by or conforming to the technical or ethical standards of a profession (2) : exhibiting a courteous, conscientious, and generally businesslike manner in the workplace

2

a : participating for gain or livelihood in an activity or field of endeavor often engaged in by amateurs <a professional golfer> b : having a particular profession as a permanent career <a professional soldier> c : engaged in by persons receiving financial return <professional football>

3

: following a line of conduct as though it were a profession <a professional patriot>

— pro·fes·sion·al·ly adverb

The topics of discussion in question here are personal.

¹per·son·al

adj \ˈpərs-nəl, ˈpər-sə-nəl\

Definition of PERSONAL

1

: of, relating to, or affecting a particular person : private, individual <personal ambition> <personal financial gain>

2

a : done in person without the intervention of another; also : proceeding from a single person b : carried on between individuals directly <a personal interview>

3

: relating to the person or body

4

: relating to an individual or an individual's character, conduct, motives, or private affairs often in an offensive manner <a personal insult>

6

: of, relating to, or constituting personal property <a personal estate>

8

: intended for private use or use by one person <a personal stereo>

That's why there is a long list of topics that are usually not considered acceptable in the workplace. There are of course exceptions to every rule.

Edit: Stupid scrunchy org.

[Edited 1/11/12 12:24pm]

Some jobs are more strict about this more than others. I came (was trained) from a place that was VERY strict about this kind of stuff as far as what gets talked about where.

jaimestarr79 said:

PunkMistress said:

I once let a "fuck you!" slip out of my mouth. To my boss.

I was young and impulsive (probably 20 years old), and she didn't like me much to begin with. She was teasing me about something, and her second in command was laughing. I got annoyed and, without thinking, a flippant "Fuck YOU!" came flying out of my mouth. Her face froze, I realized what I'd said, and instead of apologizing immediately I laughed and walked into the bathroom.

I know it might seem an obvious answer to my question but.... So did you get fired???

Nope! She actually let it go.

I had another boss who regularly talked to me about his fetishes and his sex life. He took all the employees on a company outing to a comedy club (we saw Darrell Hammond), then to a fetish club. With cage dancers and a competition to win condoms and sex toys for correctly answering sex trivia.

PunkMistress said:

jaimestarr79 said:

I know it might seem an obvious answer to my question but.... So did you get fired???

Nope! She actually let it go.

I had another boss who regularly talked to me about his fetishes and his sex life. He took all the employees on a company outing to a comedy club (we saw Darrell Hammond), then to a fetish club. With cage dancers and a competition to win condoms and sex toys for correctly answering sex trivia.

Oh, that same night my coworker got so drunk that he left the club and fell asleep in the back seat of my boss's car, who had driven some of us there after we met up. Boss couldn't bring kid back to his car in that condition, so Boss drove home and went inside, leaving Drunk Kid sleeping in his backseat.

PunkMistress said:

PunkMistress said:

Nope! She actually let it go.

I had another boss who regularly talked to me about his fetishes and his sex life. He took all the employees on a company outing to a comedy club (we saw Darrell Hammond), then to a fetish club. With cage dancers and a competition to win condoms and sex toys for correctly answering sex trivia.

Oh, that same night my coworker got so drunk that he left the club and fell asleep in the back seat of my boss's car, who had driven some of us there after we met up. Boss couldn't bring kid back to his car in that condition, so Boss drove home and went inside, leaving Drunk Kid sleeping in his backseat.

You win.

PurpleJedi said:

Funny thing happened to me earlier today...

...the company Vice-President walked over to my desk and was talking about an upcoming association meeting...so then he says; "Alright, I'm heading out, we'll talk later."

...and I reply; "Alright man, catch ya later!"

So, yes 2012 is my time for renewal and rediscovery and all that...and I'm trying to be less uptight and more relaxed...

...but did that cross a line?

Is there such a thing as TOO LAID BACK when dealing with certain people???

imo it's okay to respond so casually as long as it's one on one. i'd be reluctant to reply so 'laid back' in front of his or your peers. i would think the boss likes an impromtu reply every once in a while.

have no worries jedi-man-from the purple realm.'

free2bfreeda said:

PurpleJedi said:

Funny thing happened to me earlier today...

...the company Vice-President walked over to my desk and was talking about an upcoming association meeting...so then he says; "Alright, I'm heading out, we'll talk later."

...and I reply; "Alright man, catch ya later!"

So, yes 2012 is my time for renewal and rediscovery and all that...and I'm trying to be less uptight and more relaxed...

...but did that cross a line?

Is there such a thing as TOO LAID BACK when dealing with certain people???

imo it's okay to respond so casually as long as it's one on one. i'd be reluctant to reply so 'laid back' in front of his or your peers. i would think the boss likes an impromtu reply every once in a while.

have no worries jedi-man-from the purple realm.'

No worries, my young padawan.

PurpleJedi said:

Tremolina said:

if you insist

tho I can't see the issue when he doesn't have one

Yeah...it was just one of those moments...that's all.

I was hoping more of you'z guyz could relate.

Even though in my lifetime, I had problems dealing with authority figures (no I have never got arrested ) there were only a handful of bosses in my lifetime that I had a very good rapport with. They were helpful, and even gave me a lift home, when I needed it. As I got older, dealing with authority figures have gotten better.

PurpleJedi said:

Funny thing happened to me earlier today...

...the company Vice-President walked over to my desk and was talking about an upcoming association meeting...so then he says; "Alright, I'm heading out, we'll talk later."

...and I reply; "Alright man, catch ya later!"

So, yes 2012 is my time for renewal and rediscovery and all that...and I'm trying to be less uptight and more relaxed...

...but did that cross a line?

Is there such a thing as TOO LAID BACK when dealing with certain people???

the company VP? I dunno about that.., maybe a tad too laid back.

Well folks...not even fretting it any longer.

Raises came in. Company still crying poverty. They gave out 2% - 4% raises for the most part.

Some people got ZIP.

I got 6.25%

Must be doing SOMETHING right...

PurpleJedi said:

Well folks...not even fretting it any longer.

Raises came in. Company still crying poverty. They gave out 2% - 4% raises for the most part.

Some people got ZIP.

I got 6.25%

Must be doing SOMETHING right...

Congrats!

But I find it inappropriate that you know most people only got 2-4%.

Cerebus said:

PurpleJedi said:

Well folks...not even fretting it any longer.

Raises came in. Company still crying poverty. They gave out 2% - 4% raises for the most part.

Some people got ZIP.

I got 6.25%

Must be doing SOMETHING right...

Congrats!

But I find it inappropriate that you know most people only got 2-4%.

My supervisor took me aside a few days back and told me that he didn't know whether or not I would be getting a raise, since the decision was taken away from him. For the tech guys...he was shown the list, and he told me that some people weren't getting anything but those that did were getting anything from 2 - 4 %.

I had a bad year (I thought) since I've been more than distracted and underperforming (just wasn't there mentally) so I really wasn't expecting one. I was just praying that they didn't take my overtime away because THAT would hurt. Alot.

PurpleJedi said:

Well folks...not even fretting it any longer.

Raises came in. Company still crying poverty. They gave out 2% - 4% raises for the most part.

Some people got ZIP.

I got 6.25%

Must be doing SOMETHING right...

You ain't goosing the boss are ya?

Shyra said:

PurpleJedi said:

Well folks...not even fretting it any longer.

Raises came in. Company still crying poverty. They gave out 2% - 4% raises for the most part.

Some people got ZIP.

I got 6.25%

Must be doing SOMETHING right...

You ain't goosing the boss are ya?

HE and I sometimes go out for drinks were we comiserate on our mutual marital misery.

Maybe I should thank Jose Cuervo for my raise?

The guy that I work for is named Jerry. The one day when he called me on the phone, he told me that he had written "Nancy Reagan" on my paycheck envelope. He said that he was giving all of his employees nicknames that day.

So when I dropped off an envelope to him, I wrote "Jerry Springer" on the envelope. In retrospect, I guess I could have written Jerry Lewis, but Jerry Springer was the first name that popped into my head.

Every time I have to meet my boss for any reason, I have the urge to pump my fist into the air while saying, "JER-RY, JER-RY, JER-RY!" like the audience members do on the TV show. But of course, I don't. I wonder what his reaction would be if I were to do that? Would he get annoyed or would he just laugh it off? I don't work in an office, the guy that I help owns a pet sitting business, and I'm one of his assistants. Maybe that would make a difference, I'm not sure.