So I've been told by a couple of my ex's that my success (having my own home, education and a good job which I made a higher salary than they did) "intimidated" them while I was with them. Even though I never threw any of those things in their faces when I was with them (in fact I was always helping them look for another job when they hated their current jobs, helping them with their resume, helping them look for apartments when they wanted to move into another, etc.), naturally I'm an ambitious person and I hate being complacent. I find it ludicrious to downplay the things I've accomplished in life in order for a man to "feel like a man"

So is there any credibility to their statement? To me, it's a cop out. How in the world can a woman make a man feel less than a man just by what she has accomplished in her life?

Is this a fair statement to make? Yay or Nay?

Do what makes you happy.

Would you really want to be with a man who is threatened by that?

Be who you are, wish them well - and move on.

An under-achiever will always blame the world for their own laziness.

Doesn't have to be a man... women get pissed when men desire more from them too.

Girl stick to a like-minded individual who won't flinch at aiming higher.

Unfortunately, most guys I meet (over 40) are stuck in their ways and do not want "more" for themselves. So I now learned to look for a guy who already has....

because I can't house some dude who wants to live off me while he works some little bullshit job.

I am not a homeless shelter for the under-employed. F#ck that.

Both men and woman who are successful and aim for more need to not deal with people who are not like them.

I think Ace and Genesia are right. I also think you may want to think about what man your looking for and the men you go after. You may find the two at odds. I think most people are faced with this duality, the trick is figuring it out.

missfee said:

So I've been told by a couple of my ex's that my success (having my own home, education and a good job which I made a higher salary than they did) "intimidated" them while I was with them. Even though I never threw any of those things in their faces when I was with them (in fact I was always helping them look for another job when they hated their current jobs, helping them with their resume, helping them look for apartments when they wanted to move into another, etc.), naturally I'm an ambitious person and I hate being complacent. I find it ludicrious to downplay the things I've accomplished in life in order for a man to "feel like a man"

So is there any credibility to their statement? To me, it's a cop out. How in the world can a woman make a man feel less than a man just by what she has accomplished in her life?

Is this a fair statement to make? Yay or Nay?

good for you! intimidate the HECK out of those wussies. no shame on you

missfee said:

So I've been told by a couple of my ex's that my success (having my own home, education and a good job which I made a higher salary than they did) "intimidated" them while I was with them. Even though I never threw any of those things in their faces when I was with them (in fact I was always helping them look for another job when they hated their current jobs, helping them with their resume, helping them look for apartments when they wanted to move into another, etc.), naturally I'm an ambitious person and I hate being complacent. I find it ludicrious to downplay the things I've accomplished in life in order for a man to "feel like a man"

So is there any credibility to their statement? To me, it's a cop out. How in the world can a woman make a man feel less than a man just by what she has accomplished in her life?

Is this a fair statement to make? Yay or Nay?

Hmmmm.....I'm looking for a suga momma.

uPtoWnNY said:

missfee said:

So I've been told by a couple of my ex's that my success (having my own home, education and a good job which I made a higher salary than they did) "intimidated" them while I was with them. Even though I never threw any of those things in their faces when I was with them (in fact I was always helping them look for another job when they hated their current jobs, helping them with their resume, helping them look for apartments when they wanted to move into another, etc.), naturally I'm an ambitious person and I hate being complacent. I find it ludicrious to downplay the things I've accomplished in life in order for a man to "feel like a man"

So is there any credibility to their statement? To me, it's a cop out. How in the world can a woman make a man feel less than a man just by what she has accomplished in her life?

Is this a fair statement to make? Yay or Nay?

Hmmmm.....I'm looking for a suga momma.

paintedlady said:

An under-achiever will always blame the world for their own laziness.

Doesn't have to be a man... women get pissed when men desire more from them too.

Girl stick to a like-minded individual who won't flinch at aiming higher.

Unfortunately, most guys I meet (over 40) are stuck in their ways and do not want "more" for themselves. So I now learned to look for a guy who already has....

because I can't house some dude who wants to live off me while he works some little bullshit job.

I am not a homeless shelter for the under-employed. F#ck that.

Both men and woman who are successful and aim for more need to not deal with people who are not like them.

Although I would say it differently, I have to agree with the confident/secure women. I've always been attracted to that kind of woman and look for it in everyone. I'm amazed at those people who just want to settle for less then what they can truly achieve. I've dealt with a woman or two that was intimidated by success and optimistic look at life. I just don't get it. I want to make a difference while we're on this planet and I try everyday to "matter."

wishuhvn said:

paintedlady said:

An under-achiever will always blame the world for their own laziness.

Doesn't have to be a man... women get pissed when men desire more from them too.

Girl stick to a like-minded individual who won't flinch at aiming higher.

Unfortunately, most guys I meet (over 40) are stuck in their ways and do not want "more" for themselves. So I now learned to look for a guy who already has....

because I can't house some dude who wants to live off me while he works some little bullshit job.

I am not a homeless shelter for the under-employed. F#ck that.

Both men and woman who are successful and aim for more need to not deal with people who are not like them.

Although I would say it differently, I have to agree with the confident/secure women. I've always been attracted to that kind of woman and look for it in everyone. I'm amazed at those people who just want to settle for less then what they can truly achieve. I've dealt with a woman or two that was intimidated by success and optimistic look at life. I just don't get it. I want to make a difference while we're on this planet and I try everyday to "matter."

I think people who fear change are people who tend to be the "crab in a barrel" type of person who will try to keep others in their life down and not celebrate or support growth in any way.

People who are afraid of change tend to like their life the way it is and work hard at staying in their mediocracy... they tend to use a drug (alcohol usually) to keep them numb in all their bad choices and missed oppourtunities. I many cases, they like their bubble they live in.

I see how people do it... but I don't understand their fear of change at all. Happiness in life requires a few adventures into the unknown every once in a while. Gotta feel alive and not just live day by day.

Genesia said:

Would you really want to be with a man who is threatened by that?

Be who you are, wish them well - and move on.

THIS !

*takes a swig of Pepto as she reads this thread*

Are men intimidated by women? Yes, yes they are.

In fact, this is the cause of my frustration with members of the opposite sex.

Ever since I was a kid in grade school, I always wanted to be the best. My parents raised me like that. I wanted the best grades, I wanted to be great at piano, at art, everything!

When I was completing my undergrad in chemistry, I remember one friend just sitting me down and saying to me, plain as day, "you don't have a boyfriend because men are scared of you." Fighting the reflex to slap her, I asked her to elaborate. She's like "Oh, you're one of the top of your class, you have so much talent, you're kind and all...men are scared of that because they feel they're not needed."

Lawd...

I frankly don't care what other men think about me know. I'm in grad school now, I live in my own apartment, I have my own car, I work during the summers, and I have my own ways of expressing myself artistically. I'm happy the way I am.

I know what I WANT in a mate, and I'm sure a real man wouldn't be intimidated by a woman who's got her own. Unfortunately some of the men I know either don't have jobs, have never gone to school because of their own excuses, or just like to cry on my shoulder because they can't "catch a break". Bitch please!

Get with the times y'all....damsels are learning to fend for themselves because prince charming is stuck in his own rut.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

*takes a swig of Pepto as she reads this thread*

Are men intimidated by women? Yes, yes they are.

In fact, this is the cause of my frustration with members of the opposite sex.

Ever since I was a kid in grade school, I always wanted to be the best. My parents raised me like that. I wanted the best grades, I wanted to be great at piano, at art, everything!

When I was completing my undergrad in chemistry, I remember one friend just sitting me down and saying to me, plain as day, "you don't have a boyfriend because men are scared of you." Fighting the reflex to slap her, I asked her to elaborate. She's like "Oh, you're one of the top of your class, you have so much talent, you're kind and all...men are scared of that because they feel they're not needed."

Lawd...

I frankly don't care what other men think about me know. I'm in grad school now, I live in my own apartment, I have my own car, I work during the summers, and I have my own ways of expressing myself artistically. I'm happy the way I am.

I know what I WANT in a mate, and I'm sure a real man wouldn't be intimidated by a woman who's got her own. Unfortunately some of the men I know either don't have jobs, have never gone to school because of their own excuses, or just like to cry on my shoulder because they can't "catch a break". Bitch please!

Get with the times y'all....damsels are learning to fend for themselves because prince charming is stuck in his own rut.

[img:$uid]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwds6s1BgY1qetby9.gif[/img:$uid]

I wish you would introduce these men to some of these crazy ass women I know who let men bleed off of them. At least the men you know seem to at least try to make money.

uPtoWnNY said:

missfee said:

So I've been told by a couple of my ex's that my success (having my own home, education and a good job which I made a higher salary than they did) "intimidated" them while I was with them. Even though I never threw any of those things in their faces when I was with them (in fact I was always helping them look for another job when they hated their current jobs, helping them with their resume, helping them look for apartments when they wanted to move into another, etc.), naturally I'm an ambitious person and I hate being complacent. I find it ludicrious to downplay the things I've accomplished in life in order for a man to "feel like a man"

So is there any credibility to their statement? To me, it's a cop out. How in the world can a woman make a man feel less than a man just by what she has accomplished in her life?

Is this a fair statement to make? Yay or Nay?

Hmmmm.....I'm looking for a suga momma.

Hell, I'd go for one too if I could have some men on the side.

Genesia said:

Would you really want to be with a man who is threatened by that?

Be who you are, wish them well - and move on.

I agree with you and no I don't want to be with any man threatened by my accomplishments...I guess that's why they ended up being ex boyfriends. I'd rather be by myself than to deal with men like that.

Ace said:

Do what makes you happy.

I have been. I have to say I've been enjoying doing those things that make me happy as well.

uPtoWnNY said:

missfee said:

So I've been told by a couple of my ex's that my success (having my own home, education and a good job which I made a higher salary than they did) "intimidated" them while I was with them. Even though I never threw any of those things in their faces when I was with them (in fact I was always helping them look for another job when they hated their current jobs, helping them with their resume, helping them look for apartments when they wanted to move into another, etc.), naturally I'm an ambitious person and I hate being complacent. I find it ludicrious to downplay the things I've accomplished in life in order for a man to "feel like a man"

So is there any credibility to their statement? To me, it's a cop out. How in the world can a woman make a man feel less than a man just by what she has accomplished in her life?

Is this a fair statement to make? Yay or Nay?

Hmmmm.....I'm looking for a suga momma.

paintedlady said:

wishuhvn said:

Although I would say it differently, I have to agree with the confident/secure women. I've always been attracted to that kind of woman and look for it in everyone. I'm amazed at those people who just want to settle for less then what they can truly achieve. I've dealt with a woman or two that was intimidated by success and optimistic look at life. I just don't get it. I want to make a difference while we're on this planet and I try everyday to "matter."

I think people who fear change are people who tend to be the "crab in a barrel" type of person who will try to keep others in their life down and not celebrate or support growth in any way.

People who are afraid of change tend to like their life the way it is and work hard at staying in their mediocracy... they tend to use a drug (alcohol usually) to keep them numb in all their bad choices and missed oppourtunities. I many cases, they like their bubble they live in.

I see how people do it... but I don't understand their fear of change at all. Happiness in life requires a few adventures into the unknown every once in a while. Gotta feel alive and not just live day by day.

Exactly.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

*takes a swig of Pepto as she reads this thread*

Are men intimidated by women? Yes, yes they are.

In fact, this is the cause of my frustration with members of the opposite sex.

Ever since I was a kid in grade school, I always wanted to be the best. My parents raised me like that. I wanted the best grades, I wanted to be great at piano, at art, everything!

When I was completing my undergrad in chemistry, I remember one friend just sitting me down and saying to me, plain as day, "you don't have a boyfriend because men are scared of you." Fighting the reflex to slap her, I asked her to elaborate. She's like "Oh, you're one of the top of your class, you have so much talent, you're kind and all...men are scared of that because they feel they're not needed."

Lawd...

I frankly don't care what other men think about me know. I'm in grad school now, I live in my own apartment, I have my own car, I work during the summers, and I have my own ways of expressing myself artistically. I'm happy the way I am.

I know what I WANT in a mate, and I'm sure a real man wouldn't be intimidated by a woman who's got her own. Unfortunately some of the men I know either don't have jobs, have never gone to school because of their own excuses, or just like to cry on my shoulder because they can't "catch a break". Bitch please!

Get with the times y'all....damsels are learning to fend for themselves because prince charming is stuck in his own rut.

PurpleRighteous1 said:

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

*takes a swig of Pepto as she reads this thread*

Are men intimidated by women? Yes, yes they are.

In fact, this is the cause of my frustration with members of the opposite sex.

Ever since I was a kid in grade school, I always wanted to be the best. My parents raised me like that. I wanted the best grades, I wanted to be great at piano, at art, everything!

When I was completing my undergrad in chemistry, I remember one friend just sitting me down and saying to me, plain as day, "you don't have a boyfriend because men are scared of you." Fighting the reflex to slap her, I asked her to elaborate. She's like "Oh, you're one of the top of your class, you have so much talent, you're kind and all...men are scared of that because they feel they're not needed."

Lawd...

I frankly don't care what other men think about me know. I'm in grad school now, I live in my own apartment, I have my own car, I work during the summers, and I have my own ways of expressing myself artistically. I'm happy the way I am.

I know what I WANT in a mate, and I'm sure a real man wouldn't be intimidated by a woman who's got her own. Unfortunately some of the men I know either don't have jobs, have never gone to school because of their own excuses, or just like to cry on my shoulder because they can't "catch a break". Bitch please!

Get with the times y'all....damsels are learning to fend for themselves because prince charming is stuck in his own rut.

[img:$uid]http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwds6s1BgY1qetby9.gif[/img:$uid]

I've been told by 2 different men I have been involved with that I'm too independent. WTF??? I don't even understand this.

Do they think that if I don't need them financially that I may not need them emotionally either?

paintedlady said:

An under-achiever will always blame the world for their own laziness.

...and worse still...they will blame everyone BUT themselves for their failures!

Deadcake said:

I've been told by 2 different men I have been involved with that I'm too independent. WTF??? I don't even understand this.

Do they think that if I don't need them financially that I may not need them emotionally either?

That's exactly what I got from those two idiots I was talking about in my original post. Apparently that's what men like that think. But what do they expect really, for us to "dumb down" for them to feel better about being a man? Hell no! Another man told me once, "a woman can't take a man's manhood from him, so how can he tell a woman that he doesn't feel like a man because she has more than he has? Only a man can give away his manhood". So all in all, it's a insecurity issue within from what I see.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

*takes a swig of Pepto as she reads this thread*

Are men intimidated by women? Yes, yes they are.

In fact, this is the cause of my frustration with members of the opposite sex.

Ever since I was a kid in grade school, I always wanted to be the best. My parents raised me like that. I wanted the best grades, I wanted to be great at piano, at art, everything!

When I was completing my undergrad in chemistry, I remember one friend just sitting me down and saying to me, plain as day, "you don't have a boyfriend because men are scared of you." Fighting the reflex to slap her, I asked her to elaborate. She's like "Oh, you're one of the top of your class, you have so much talent, you're kind and all...men are scared of that because they feel they're not needed."

Lawd...

I frankly don't care what other men think about me know. I'm in grad school now, I live in my own apartment, I have my own car, I work during the summers, and I have my own ways of expressing myself artistically. I'm happy the way I am.

I know what I WANT in a mate, and I'm sure a real man wouldn't be intimidated by a woman who's got her own. Unfortunately some of the men I know either don't have jobs, have never gone to school because of their own excuses, or just like to cry on my shoulder because they can't "catch a break". Bitch please!

Get with the times y'all....damsels are learning to fend for themselves because prince charming is stuck in his own rut.

U intimidate me.

I think it comes down to my own insecurities, instead of a particular woman's accolades.

I never had a strong male influence in my life, so I've always been too feminine with the shorties!

I don't know if that is the true reason why I'm such a punk with the ladies, but It doesn't help.

I haven't met too many women in my adult life that interest me enough to risk my pride at this point, but I can only hope that I am able to step up.

Actually, fuck bitches, you dig? I should continue to focus on improving myself and things will fall into place accordingly.

Even if they don't, who cares? My self-esteem isn't reliant on the acceptance of another (4real! I'm 2funky for that!)

Yeah, it would be nice to find a girl like thrutheyesofwonder or mya (or justerin or zombiekitten), but I'm not betting the house on it.(HA!)

I can't decide what I want sometimes.

Is it sex? Companionship? I don't know. Pornography has jaded my fragile psyche. lol

I'm throwed off that drank lol, so don't mind me.

My realest post ever?

Apologies to those who hate me. I don't give a fuck!

Word!

some of you seem more interested in telling men off than having any kind of relationship

minneapolisFunq said:

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

*takes a swig of Pepto as she reads this thread*

Are men intimidated by women? Yes, yes they are.

In fact, this is the cause of my frustration with members of the opposite sex.

Ever since I was a kid in grade school, I always wanted to be the best. My parents raised me like that. I wanted the best grades, I wanted to be great at piano, at art, everything!

When I was completing my undergrad in chemistry, I remember one friend just sitting me down and saying to me, plain as day, "you don't have a boyfriend because men are scared of you." Fighting the reflex to slap her, I asked her to elaborate. She's like "Oh, you're one of the top of your class, you have so much talent, you're kind and all...men are scared of that because they feel they're not needed."

Lawd...

I frankly don't care what other men think about me know. I'm in grad school now, I live in my own apartment, I have my own car, I work during the summers, and I have my own ways of expressing myself artistically. I'm happy the way I am.

I know what I WANT in a mate, and I'm sure a real man wouldn't be intimidated by a woman who's got her own. Unfortunately some of the men I know either don't have jobs, have never gone to school because of their own excuses, or just like to cry on my shoulder because they can't "catch a break". Bitch please!

Get with the times y'all....damsels are learning to fend for themselves because prince charming is stuck in his own rut.

U intimidate me.

I think it comes down to my own insecurities, instead of a particular woman's accolades.

I never had a strong male influence in my life, so I've always been too feminine with the shorties!

I don't know if that is the true reason why I'm such a punk with the ladies, but It doesn't help.

I haven't met too many women in my adult life that interest me enough to risk my pride at this point, but I can only hope that I am able to step up.

Actually, fuck bitches, you dig? I should continue to focus on improving myself and things will fall into place accordingly.

Even if they don't, who cares? My self-esteem isn't reliant on the acceptance of another (4real! I'm 2funky for that!)

Yeah, it would be nice to find a girl like thrutheyesofwonder or mya (or justerin or zombiekitten), but I'm not betting the house on it.(HA!)

I can't decide what I want sometimes.

Is it sex? Companionship? I don't know. Pornography has jaded my fragile psyche. lol

I'm throwed off that drank lol, so don't mind me.

My realest post ever?

Apologies to those who hate me. I don't give a fuck!

Word!

Life is journey of growth, and I'm sure you're doing well.

I dunno, I'm sure it happens but I've never personally seen it.

If I guy likes you, he likes you...he's not looking for excuses to end it, which is what all this sounds like to me.

whistle said:

some of you seem more interested in telling men off than having any kind of relationship

are not!!!