This is something I've always dealt with, and that has always bothered me. I'm not going to toot my own horn or brag or anything, but growing up I've been labled as "gifted", "brilliant" blah blah blah, but at them same time, I've been labeled as an "over-achiever". I've grown to hate this term. If achieving something is great, then shouldn't over-achieving be greater? It has this negative connotation to it, which I hate. Back when I was in first grade, my art class would have art contests, and I would win them all the time. One time, we had an exhibit in the school cafeteria, and I finally got my mom to come see it. We walked all around that cafeteria looking for my picture, but couldn't find it. We asked the teacher where my picture was, and she assured us it was down there, yet it wasn't. I cried so hard that night. I got to school the next day, and when I went to hang my coat up in the closet, I saw my picture, still on the easel, in the back of the closet. I asked my teacher why my picture was back there instead of with the other ones the night before, and she said I need to "give other students a chance to be good." ....Wow. Like me being talented, which I have no control over, is somehow holding others back, and I'm being punished for it..smh. Another instance happened when I was in art school, and my instructor would tell me that I do too much detail, and I need to "pull it back", and that I'm a "minor genius". So far, I've only had one teacher who fostered my talent instead of trying to get me to repress it for the sake of others. In short, I hate the term over-achiever, and I can't understand why it's used to hold people back. What's wrong with being really good at something?

Thoughts?

My daughter is an over-achiever and I hate the thought of coming over as a bragging parent. At the same time i'm proud of her. It makes me feel awkward talking to other parents sometimes.

This thread is boasting while trying to sound modest lol

TheFreakerFantastic said:

This thread is boasting while trying to sound modest lol

But that's the thing!

Lisa10 said:

My daughter is an over-achiever and I hate the thought of coming over as a bragging parent. At the same time i'm proud of her. It makes me feel awkward talking to other parents sometimes.

Please don't tell her that she "over" achieves. I'm almost 30 and I have this ingrained fear to do things because I'll be "too good" at doing it, which stops or stalls me from doing it. Maybe you can find parents with other gifted children to relate too. You can still maintain the pride of your child, and at the same time, she can feel good about being who she is without feeling that being talented around others who aren't is a bad thing

TheFreakerFantastic said:

This thread is boasting while trying to sound modest lol

Oh no...I'm not boasting at all. I was giving examples of what's happened to me and why the term bothers me. That's all

Overachiever is an awful term because it suggests nobody thought you had the potential to do as well as you have, in the first place.

I'm not an overachiever. I'm a high achiever - largely because everyone in my life expected me to be and made sure I didn't slack.

This is one of my favorite movie scenes ever - from The Incredibles...

Helen: Dash... this is the third time this year you've been sent to the office. We need to find a better outlet. A more... constructive outlet.
Dash: Maybe I could, if you'd let me go out for sports.
Helen: Honey, you know why we can't do that.
Dash: But I promise I'll slow up. I'll only be the best by a tiny bit.
Helen: Dashiell Robert Parr, you are an incredibly competitive boy, and a bit of a show-off. The last thing you need is temptation.
Dash: You always say 'Do your best', but you don't really mean it. Why can't I do the best that I can do?
Helen: Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we gotta be like everyone else.
Dash: But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers made us special.
Helen: Everyone's special, Dash.
Dash: [muttering] Which is another way of saying no one is.

^ God the lack of modesty among you yanks is bloody sickening...pass me the bucket...

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ God the lack of modesty among you yanks is bloody sickening...pass me the bucket...

The lawless nature of you Brits (evident in the news lately) is what's bloody sickening.

Aren't generalizations fun?

ScarletScandal said:

Lisa10 said:

My daughter is an over-achiever and I hate the thought of coming over as a bragging parent. At the same time i'm proud of her. It makes me feel awkward talking to other parents sometimes.

Please don't tell her that she "over" achieves. I'm almost 30 and I have this ingrained fear to do things because I'll be "too good" at doing it, which stops or stalls me from doing it. Maybe you can find parents with other gifted children to relate too. You can still maintain the pride of your child, and at the same time, she can feel good about being who she is without feeling that being talented around others who aren't is a bad thing

That's not a term i'd ever use. (although I did in that post )

I totally encourage her and share news of her achievements with family members. But not with other parents so much. And definitely not with parents of school friends.

ScarletScandal said:

This is something I've always dealt with, and that has always bothered me. I'm not going to toot my own horn or brag or anything, but growing up I've been labled as "gifted", "brilliant" blah blah blah, but at them same time, I've been labeled as an "over-achiever". I've grown to hate this term. If achieving something is great, then shouldn't over-achieving be greater? It has this negative connotation to it, which I hate. Back when I was in first grade, my art class would have art contests, and I would win them all the time. One time, we had an exhibit in the school cafeteria, and I finally got my mom to come see it. We walked all around that cafeteria looking for my picture, but couldn't find it. We asked the teacher where my picture was, and she assured us it was down there, yet it wasn't. I cried so hard that night. I got to school the next day, and when I went to hang my coat up in the closet, I saw my picture, still on the easel, in the back of the closet. I asked my teacher why my picture was back there instead of with the other ones the night before, and she said I need to "give other students a chance to be good." ....Wow. Like me being talented, which I have no control over, is somehow holding others back, and I'm being punished for it..smh. Another instance happened when I was in art school, and my instructor would tell me that I do too much detail, and I need to "pull it back", and that I'm a "minor genius". So far, I've only had one teacher who fostered my talent instead of trying to get me to repress it for the sake of others. In short, I hate the term over-achiever, and I can't understand why it's used to hold people back. What's wrong with being really good at something?

Thoughts?

That's other people jealousy. A lot of people find it personally threatening when someone else is better than them at something or in some way.

But still, I'd rather have to deal with that than with the opposite extreme, being gifted and having lots of potential that you have yet to use, and having a bunch of people pretty much call you a slacker and loser and tell you that you'll never amount to anything, which is my current problem.

[Edited 8/11/11 13:22pm]

Genesia said:

Overachiever is an awful term because it suggests nobody thought you had the potential to do as well as you have, in the first place.

I'm not an overachiever. I'm a high achiever - largely because everyone in my life expected me to be and made sure I didn't slack.

This is one of my favorite movie scenes ever - from The Incredibles...

Helen: Dash... this is the third time this year you've been sent to the office. We need to find a better outlet. A more... constructive outlet.
Dash: Maybe I could, if you'd let me go out for sports.
Helen: Honey, you know why we can't do that.
Dash: But I promise I'll slow up. I'll only be the best by a tiny bit.
Helen: Dashiell Robert Parr, you are an incredibly competitive boy, and a bit of a show-off. The last thing you need is temptation.
Dash: You always say 'Do your best', but you don't really mean it. Why can't I do the best that I can do?
Helen: Right now, honey, the world just wants us to fit in, and to fit in, we gotta be like everyone else.
Dash: But Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of, our powers made us special.
Helen: Everyone's special, Dash.
Dash: [muttering] Which is another way of saying no one is.

One of my favorite movies ever

The children knew what they were capable of, and the felt the pressure of the world trying to get them to "hold back". That is so obnoxious coming from other people. Then my one teacher who gave me complete creative control over a project told me not to hold back, I didn't know what to do, because my talent was so unfocused because I've never been told not to hold back before.

Genesia said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ God the lack of modesty among you yanks is bloody sickening...pass me the bucket...

I'm British.

armpit said:

ScarletScandal said:

This is something I've always dealt with, and that has always bothered me. I'm not going to toot my own horn or brag or anything, but growing up I've been labled as "gifted", "brilliant" blah blah blah, but at them same time, I've been labeled as an "over-achiever". I've grown to hate this term. If achieving something is great, then shouldn't over-achieving be greater? It has this negative connotation to it, which I hate. Back when I was in first grade, my art class would have art contests, and I would win them all the time. One time, we had an exhibit in the school cafeteria, and I finally got my mom to come see it. We walked all around that cafeteria looking for my picture, but couldn't find it. We asked the teacher where my picture was, and she assured us it was down there, yet it wasn't. I cried so hard that night. I got to school the next day, and when I went to hang my coat up in the closet, I saw my picture, still on the easel, in the back of the closet. I asked my teacher why my picture was back there instead of with the other ones the night before, and she said I need to "give other students a chance to be good." ....Wow. Like me being talented, which I have no control over, is somehow holding others back, and I'm being punished for it..smh. Another instance happened when I was in art school, and my instructor would tell me that I do too much detail, and I need to "pull it back", and that I'm a "minor genius". So far, I've only had one teacher who fostered my talent instead of trying to get me to repress it for the sake of others. In short, I hate the term over-achiever, and I can't understand why it's used to hold people back. What's wrong with being really good at something?

Thoughts?

That's other people jealousy. A lot of people find it personally threatening when someone else is better than them at something or in some way.

But still, I'd rather have to deal with that than with the opposite extreme, being gifted and having lots of potential that you have yet to use, and having a bunch of people pretty much call you a slacker and loser and tell you that you'll never amount to anything, which is my current problem.

[Edited 8/11/11 13:22pm]

You're right about that. But I just hate how that negative aspect is placed on achieving.

Genesia said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ God the lack of modesty among you yanks is bloody sickening...pass me the bucket...

The lawless nature of you Brits (evident in the news lately) is what's bloody sickening.

Aren't generalizations fun?

lmao oh myy

ScarletScandal said:

armpit said:

That's other people jealousy. A lot of people find it personally threatening when someone else is better than them at something or in some way.

But still, I'd rather have to deal with that than with the opposite extreme, being gifted and having lots of potential that you have yet to use, and having a bunch of people pretty much call you a slacker and loser and tell you that you'll never amount to anything, which is my current problem.

[Edited 8/11/11 13:22pm]

You're right about that. But I just hate how that negative aspect is placed on achieving.

The whole thing is, that's their problem, not yours. They feel like shit about themselves so they want to spread the misery. Don't fall for it. Just tune them out and keep doing your own thing.

Genesia said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ God the lack of modesty among you yanks is bloody sickening...pass me the bucket...

The lawless nature of you Brits (evident in the news lately) is what's bloody sickening.

Aren't generalizations fun?

www.shadehasbeenthrown.com

armpit said:

ScarletScandal said:

You're right about that. But I just hate how that negative aspect is placed on achieving.

The whole thing is, that's their problem, not yours. They feel like shit about themselves so they want to spread the misery. Don't fall for it. Just tune them out and keep doing your own thing.

You're so right about that. I'm starting to work on that right now. Whenever I work on art or music, I just let myself go completely into it. I don't care what people think anymore.

ScarletScandal said:

armpit said:

The whole thing is, that's their problem, not yours. They feel like shit about themselves so they want to spread the misery. Don't fall for it. Just tune them out and keep doing your own thing.

You're so right about that. I'm starting to work on that right now. Whenever I work on art or music, I just let myself go completely into it. I don't care what people think anymore.

Exactly. If anything, consider the fact that they're so shitty to you a perverse compliment.

ScarletScandal said:

Genesia said:

The lawless nature of you Brits (evident in the news lately) is what's bloody sickening.

Aren't generalizations fun?

www.shadehasbeenthrown.com

Hey - when somebody throws shade, I say wing it back and add a little shade of your own.

Genesia said:

ScarletScandal said:

www.shadehasbeenthrown.com

Hey - when somebody throws shade, I say wing it back and add a little shade of your own.

Lol! That's better than me. I was just gonna tell his under-achieving ass to get the fuck out my thread.

ScarletScandal said:

Lisa10 said:

My daughter is an over-achiever and I hate the thought of coming over as a bragging parent. At the same time i'm proud of her. It makes me feel awkward talking to other parents sometimes.

Please don't tell her that she "over" achieves. I'm almost 30 and I have this ingrained fear to do things because I'll be "too good" at doing it, which stops or stalls me from doing it. Maybe you can find parents with other gifted children to relate too. You can still maintain the pride of your child, and at the same time, she can feel good about being who she is without feeling that being talented around others who aren't is a bad thing

All this is touching my supper sensative spot. I may have to be more honest about what is going on with me. At 50 I am finally going back to New Orleans because it is a creative city and I can check out the acting water there. Sounds foolish to many but in 25 years or so I will be dead and I'd rather die a failure then a quitter.

Whenever I did something creative people had the attitude "Now she'll get a big head so don't compliment her too much!'

I genuinely always gravitated towards the arts and not because I am an attention whore, I just need those outlets and I feel like it is my lifes purpose.

Oh fuck these people who think equal means the same. All people are equal but they are good at different things and some stars shine brighter in the night then others and that is the way God meant it to be!!!!

Deadflow3r said:

ScarletScandal said:

Please don't tell her that she "over" achieves. I'm almost 30 and I have this ingrained fear to do things because I'll be "too good" at doing it, which stops or stalls me from doing it. Maybe you can find parents with other gifted children to relate too. You can still maintain the pride of your child, and at the same time, she can feel good about being who she is without feeling that being talented around others who aren't is a bad thing

All this is touching my supper sensative spot. I may have to be more honest about what is going on with me. At 50 I am finally going back to New Orleans because it is a creative city and I can check out the acting water there. Sounds foolish to many but in 25 years or so I will be dead and I'd rather die a failure then a quitter.

Whenever I did something creative people had the attitude "Now she'll get a big head so don't compliment her too much!'

I genuinely always gravitated towards the arts and not because I am an attention whore, I just need those outlets and I feel like it is my lifes purpose.

Oh fuck these people who think equal means the same. All people are equal but they are good at different things and some stars shine brighter in the night then others and that is the way God meant it to be!!!!

Good for you!! Go be the best that you can be, and if you're better than others, so be it

I'm 28 years old, and I'm hoping that by the time I'm 30, or even before then, I'll be in complete creative control of what I can do and contribute to society, regardless of much people think I'm "over" doing it

I just tell my grandkids "they have mad Skills"

Genesia said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

^ God the lack of modesty among you yanks is bloody sickening...pass me the bucket...

The lawless nature of you Brits (evident in the news lately) is what's bloody sickening.

Aren't generalizations fun?

^^^Favorite Genesia moment on the ORG.

ScarletScandal said:

armpit said:

That's other people jealousy. A lot of people find it personally threatening when someone else is better than them at something or in some way.

But still, I'd rather have to deal with that than with the opposite extreme, being gifted and having lots of potential that you have yet to use, and having a bunch of people pretty much call you a slacker and loser and tell you that you'll never amount to anything, which is my current problem.

[Edited 8/11/11 13:22pm]

You're right about that. But I just hate how that negative aspect is placed on achieving.

The negative aspect-could be a projection of their own lack of achievement. I have found that teachers can teach you how to be better-but that can't teach you as an artist to find your "voice" with in your work. The teachers attempt to, but cannot achieve this goal, you and you alone can only do that. As for the tone it down to make others look better-I'd call that bulls**t and asked them in what way is that helping me become a better artist?

Were all a bunch of losers that's why. We don't want to see you getting success if we can't have a piece of that pie.

Genesia said:

ScarletScandal said:

www.shadehasbeenthrown.com

Hey - when somebody throws shade, I say wing it back and add a little shade of your own.

No no, it pisses them off way more if you ignore them.

If you bother responding they figure they pissed you off or hurt you and they get off on that.

u r prob sick of hearing it

and rather hear works like

u rock

u r awesome

u r great

u r 2 good

hot stuff

etc etc etc

cause that's what it means