ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:

You really think that most women don't have sex with their partners because of their birth control?

All the ones who aren't using sex as a weapon, who don't have health issues, exhaustion, depression, childhood sexual abuse or any other legitimate reason. After what I read on another message board, I'm inclined to believe there is a link.

I'm thinking that it would probably be a low number then.

JustErin said:

ZombieKitten said:

JustErin said:

I'm thinking that it would probably be a low number then.

I'm also thinking these things aren't mutually exclusive

birth control messes with your hormones, it certainly seems possible

I'm thinking it's kind of hard to point to any one reason why women aren't having sex with their long term partners. In a pure scientific sense, there are far too many variables in the first place.

NDRU said:

I didn't have time to respond to your other thread about this subject in your previous thread Z.K. So, I'll say my two cents here.

Long term relationships /marriage have ebbs and flows. Relationship aren't easy (as if that's news) and couples will have diffucult, good, joyful, painful, and time of toil. To wrap this up all into a neat little bow and reduce sexless relationships to lack of desire, birth control, or women not being sexually fulfilled is a tad simplistic, in most instances. There's more going in a relationship than the bed... and you can't live there. (imo)

ZombieKitten said:

Adisa said:

Guys who aren't getting any. I was thinking the same thing as you.

You guys can just orgnote me!

Not me, sister. Not lately at least. Mrs. Adisa has been performing her wifely duties...and well I might add!

TD3 said:

johnart said:

This study will be published in the Org Journal of Sex and Random-ass Fuckery

I use BC now but it's never been the reason, I feel, for a loss of libido. If I stopped having sex with a guy, it was because he bored me in bed and when I would suggest something different he took it as a hit to his ego or something and continued down the same boring path.

armpit said:

I've never heard anything about birth-control resulting in some widespread loss of libido.

I think guys should be more worried if their girlfriends don't use birth control at all.

My wife and I have never used any birth control.

This goes for the early days of our relationship too though (I know, I know ).

sextonseven said:

NDRU said:

now, who is going to respond to this?

whistle?

i don't want to talk about it.

Fauxie said:

armpit said:

I've never heard anything about birth-control resulting in some widespread loss of libido.

I think guys should be more worried if their girlfriends don't use birth control at all.

My wife and I have never used any birth control.

This goes for the early days of our relationship too though (I know, I know ).

Nothing at all, eh? Interesting.

I dated one girl who used nothing, through five years of marriage, too, and no kids.

I have been in many relationships. I have never been married and am not male but I want to add something here because I do have an opinion on it. First I have to explain why I have never been married because I wouldn't want anyone to get the impression that I haven't been in serious and sexual long term relationships where I wouldn't think about getting married, because I have considered marrying several different people. That's as far as it got because i wantd to be be very certain. There were a few that would have been safe and stable marriages if I had completely given in and as a wife, I do believe that you give in to mcuh more and accept more compromise perhaps than a girlfriend might... each case being special of course, but generally speaking on average. To me, a safe marriage never neccessarily means a happy one... and even if it is a happy one, it still may be a pretty big personal compromise. Then there is divorce... which is something that I would never ever want, even if the divorce was my choice. I mere break up is hard enough... and then children, oh boy! I took these things so seriously... to the point of obsession... and with men who I could have still had a stable family with, ones that tried most to take care of things. You see, they say follow your heart in everything but love and there- use your head. People are brought up seeking a mate not only to love but to give them security... and that is important. Love is so hard to find. love can be made out of compromise even if it is not the best love... especially if there is security. Many men can provide many things for a woman and she may love him in so many ways but there is something missing.

I have never been one to take birth control because i have a very mild system and certainly don't need something altering my hormones unless it's really important. I have always been fairly careful... well, mostly. I have dated plain guys and pretty darn attractive guys as well. One in particular was quite a looker and a wildcat in the sack... and i liked the dude. He was fun to party with, but i didn't really enjoy our sex as much as he did, I think. He was "too much" for me in some ways. Don't get me wrong, i did things for this attractive guy that i wouldn't have done for others... and i had him pretty pleased... but it was work, yo. I don't mean work to "give it" I mean work to "take it".... and some can take a lot... but for them that's not taking a lot. Whatever ones personal case may be, the more you have to 'take"... the more you need to get ready for it and all that shit.... cause you fixing to get a damn workout. i mean how would you like it if your woman came in and said "get your sexy ass on that treadmill and work it" You might think that's some kinky shit a few times but eventually... you realize that shit is work.

Part of that work is working on the MAN!.... which should never be work.. never. You should want to help him any way you can, but if he's just a little bit more douchiness than you wanted to bargain for but is a good dad, good provider and a decent friend... you might be more like, yeah why don't you take care of that problem yourself and I'll keep cooking dinner... how about that?

you see, i think libido is not always so hard to envoke... not NEAR as much as low libido causes problems. i think mental illness is more likely caused by a physical anomaly than low libido... and having said THAT i think low libido is VERY often a mental issue... and I don't mean crazy issues... i mean things like hidden resentment.

Speaking of hormonal and crazy bitch issues coming from someone who is not giving sex.... which comes first, the chicken or the egg? i think very often it is actually backwards from what people think it is. I think a female who is less like the give in to releasing some carnal frustrations because she is stubborn and resentful is more likely to be a cranky bitch. Some people take that shit so seriously. I mean, Iwould have to get drunk a lot of times just to not give a fuck anymore about something i was pissed off about so i can let go and have sex with a douchy boyfriend so he will shut up and give me some peace and i can at least relax... but i'd feel so dirty giving in like that!

SO DIRTY!

...but anyway... that's two issues and since guys on here are not douchebags (forum save ) we all know it's because their dicks are just too much for their ladies. (ladies... I'm just trying to stay neutral! )

the things I get myself into.

[Edited 8/5/11 23:44pm]

...but I forgot to add something important. As many of my relationship failed... i have been accused of being frigid, crazy yadda yadda... and i was always like either no... you're just a douche and i'm trying to get away from you dumbass... or... in one particular case I just couldn't handle the dude.

...and yes, I have gotten pretty bent if you know what i'm saying. down, depressed, angry, antisocial, very unhappy and made people think i had problems... which i did, but i soon as i solved the problem by like moving or whatever, i was fine.... and still looking. YEP... still looking.

How does a person with issues justify going out and looking for a relationship?

You NEED love! What the HELL?!

Things are not always as they seem.

you also need sex (in most cases unless you are one of these highly disciplined monks or whatever)... so of course you are more likely to act like a crazy person when your relationship is going to shit, you haven't had sex in a while and all you wanted was love in the first place and now you are being accused of being incapable and all that horseshit.

FUCK that!

The thing is... I DO like sex. I DO want sex. That's why I won't compromise. I won't take a chance on a relationship that is going to leave me with a so-so sex life and too far gone to find my way back.

... and to be told I have something against sex from men who have begged for my sex... and why were they begging? it's not like I had their asses chained up.

Low libido?... I don't like sex?

Maybe I'm just a Connosuer of the special stuff, the good shit.

NDRU said:

NDRU said:

Fauxie said:

My wife and I have never used any birth control.

This goes for the early days of our relationship too though (I know, I know ).

Nothing at all, eh? Interesting.

I dated one girl who used nothing, through five years of marriage, too, and no kids.

My wife's medical issues with her ovaries are part of it all too, of course. Not impossible that she'll get pregnant though. Who knows, maybe soon.

ZombieKitten said:

So you basically don't enjoy sex or you haven't met a guy you enjoy sex with yet?

oh dear... I can see that explanation was nothing more than a mere long winded fail.

ok... i'll try to be more concise. i have enjoyed sex with guys when i started liking them but when hey start acting like an asshole because they don't get me or they were just being a stupid idiot or whatever, I find it very hard to give in... it's a BIG vice. Even when I was not sure if i was ready to let them go completely because things can always look up, you know... but it's so hard to give in when i am mad when it comes to sex... even though i would NEED it. It's just kinda sacred to me unless I'm drunk or something. even quickies. I just think it's so personal and if i'm ticked off at someone, I don't want them putting their hands on me.

second thing: because i may need to clear this up too... I have had MANY MANY... fuck, countless... I don't even know. who that has had one does know? I mean, once you have had one, you are soon well on your way to losing count right? but yeah... Orgasms are not a problem. Any of the multiple different types although I'm small and sensative and like a lot of other stimulation prior to vaginal stimulation but I'm pretty sure that's not too uncommon.... but to add to that, I do not like large penises. I have had several large penises and oddly, I was pretty comfortable with one of my first boyfriends who had a pretty large penis but i was still in learning stages and over time found that i prefer not so large penises. Our sex was ok, I really liked the guy at the time but we were very young and his penis was not the highlight of our escapades, which is really kinda unfair to him... not that i didn't handle his penis quite frequently but as i learned more about what i liked I felt as though he was better suited for someone else and plus there was so much stupid teenage water under bridge.... we became friends. He became like a brother to me. i mean, we were kids when we met.

SUMMARY... 1. Things start great- then guy starts being a punk ass because he doesn't know how else to be. Happened a lot when I was young, but that's what you get when all you party with are slackers.

2. Not one of these fans of the superpenis facsination.

Wait a minute...

was zk fucking with my head?

D'OH

I always miss that!

so you just haven't found the right guy

too many words CM7

ZombieKitten said:

so you just haven't found the right guy

too many words CM7

oh no, i have a guy.

i keep forgetting that people on message boards don't like to read.

I'm starting to think that you are just laughing at how hard i will try to explain something a mile into the ground.

CM7 said:

ZombieKitten said:

so you just haven't found the right guy

too many words CM7

oh no, i have a guy.

i keep forgetting that people on message boards don't like to read.

I'm starting to think that you are just laughing at how hard i will try to explain something a mile into the ground.

I'm not laughing at all

I'm just orging in a room full of noise. My attention span is limited!

let me rephrase that (here i go again)

ok, i have a guy... but there is some crazy crazy shit going on right now so I hardly ever get to just enjoy life lately. He can't be here... he has an astronimical amount of responsibility and constraints.

I'm actually waiting for some reciprocation from him about something right now.

in the mean time i just sit and go stir crazy.

CM7 said:

let me rephrase that (here i go again)

ok, i have a guy... but there is some crazy crazy shit going on right now so I hardly ever get to just enjoy life lately. He can't be here... he has an astronimical amount of responsibility and constraints.

I'm actually waiting for some reciprocation from him about something right now.

in the mean time i just sit and go stir crazy.

I hope things aren't too shitty for you

ZombieKitten said:

CM7 said:

let me rephrase that (here i go again)

ok, i have a guy... but there is some crazy crazy shit going on right now so I hardly ever get to just enjoy life lately. He can't be here... he has an astronimical amount of responsibility and constraints.

I'm actually waiting for some reciprocation from him about something right now.

in the mean time i just sit and go stir crazy.

I hope things aren't too shitty for you

Nah, life certainly has it's upswings. Every third five minutes on friday when I remember it's Friday, 12 hours on Saturday between the hours of 12-6 and 6-12 unless it rains or is the third saturday of the month, Sunday but only if I can remember what I was dreaming about and anywhere from 3-5 dozen times throughout the week all depending on how good I've been, whether or not I've meditated and whether or not mercury is in retrograde... and of course there's always pot and Halloween.

[Edited 8/6/11 2:35am]

CM7 said:

ZombieKitten said:

I hope things aren't too shitty for you

Nah, life certainly has it's upswings. Every third five minutes on friday when I remember it's Friday, 12 hours on Saturday between the hours of 12-6 and 6-12 unless it rains or is the third saturday of the month, Sunday but only if I can remember what I was dreaming about and anywhere from 3-5 dozen times throughout the week all depending on how good I've been, whether or not I've meditated and whether or not mercury is in retrograde... and of course there's always pot and Halloween.

I don't have any idea what you are talking about!

ZombieKitten said:

CM7 said:

Nah, life certainly has it's upswings. Every third five minutes on friday when I remember it's Friday, 12 hours on Saturday between the hours of 12-6 and 6-12 unless it rains or is the third saturday of the month, Sunday but only if I can remember what I was dreaming about and anywhere from 3-5 dozen times throughout the week all depending on how good I've been, whether or not I've meditated and whether or not mercury is in retrograde... and of course there's always pot and Halloween.

I don't have any idea what you are talking about!

that's ok... me either.

CM7 said:

ZombieKitten said:

I don't have any idea what you are talking about!

that's ok... me either.

well I hope things get better for you!