I'm just soooo angry.

The upstairs neighbours is a great English family; mom, dad, boy 5.5 years, girl 3 years old.

Dad has been struggling with his role. He'd rather poker on the internet and play his drums on the WII in stead of helping out in the household or do chores.

Woman bickered about it, however also accepted it. So, she made sure he was never alone having to deal with both kids.

However, he just decided he's in love with somebody else and leaves the family.

Mom is just devastated. She just can't imagine that someone would walk out on his family.

I just feel so bad for her. She is the most loving and kind person I ever met in my life. Can't believe he's leaving her for some young chick

I went to the Kids museum for science with the kid today. We had a blast and both enjoyed all the cool games with electricity, water, mirrors, soap and all that kind of stuff. We laughed a lot and I just was making sure he could forget about his crying mom for one day.

I cooked a meal, and when mom and dad came back from home and sat at the table, the daughter (3 year old) told dad the he wasn't allowed to sit next to her because that was DJJ's seat. He's been away a lot lately and I've been helping out with dinner and bedtime story reading a lot. I told her that today we could allow daddy to sit next to her for diner, and that I would sit next to her soon again. Little does she now, that I'll be sitting there a often from now on, and daddy is off in the pub, shagging some young girl and playing poker.

It just breaks my heart. The family lives in the U.K., and for them I've been there all their lives and they consider me part of the family. I'm very happy to be ablt to support the mom and kids through these rough times. However, when I'm home, I'm not strong anymore,

I'M SO ANGRY WITH THIS GUY! I WANT TO KICK HIS ASS FOR HIS EGOCENTRIC BEHAVIOUR!

HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THREE PEOPLE WHO'S LIFES ARE FALLING APART RIGHT NOW.

Just needed to vent my anger.

I understand that it's difficult. But it doesn't really sound like they're losing much.

he's responsible for 3 people?

yeah, that sounds crappy but...perhaps it's for the best...if he wasn't helping out anyway, he's dead weight. I have zero memory of my father untill AFTER they got divorced. Sometimes divorce forces a parent to participate.

good luck to them, you're doing great things by helping out.

Tell me where he lives and I'll punch him in the mouth.

I may also have the carcass of a dead rat that I can throw at him.

But seriously, someone should punch the guy out. Preferably in front of the whore that helped break up the marriage.

Genesia said:

I understand that it's difficult. But it doesn't really sound like they're losing much.

That's what my standard reaction is. Somehow, this time I'm not that sharp. It's actually a really nice, kind, easy going, funny guy. However, very immature and self-centered

He just couldn't handlt the maturity that is needed to be a father. I just can't imagine and realize he really is leaving his children and wife. They are so great.

I'm old enough to know that it's no use to try to change someone.

However, in this case, I just feel like grabbing him by the shoulders, shaking him up, kicking his but and tell him to grow up, be mature and act as a real man. Also, because I know he's making a bad judgement call. His life is not going to improve. And, he somehow thinks that the flashy Amsterdam nightlife is going to offer some fullfillment. However, I know by experience, it will not. They have been together from a very young age. So, it's some form of mid-life-crisis. I just want him to sit through it and not run away. However, he's made up his mind. Following the urge of his mid-life crisis. Saddening.

I hope her life is brighter in a few years. This will take time though.

RodeoSchro said:

Tell me where he lives and I'll punch him in the mouth.

I may also have the carcass of a dead rat that I can throw at him.

But seriously, someone should punch the guy out. Preferably in front of the whore that helped break up the marriage.

Yeah, let's use some rodents!

Thanks, your comment makes me feel good.

RodeoSchro said:

Tell me where he lives and I'll punch him in the mouth.

I may also have the carcass of a dead rat that I can throw at him.

But seriously, someone should punch the guy out. Preferably in front of the whore that helped break up the marriage.

Why should he be punched in the mouth? He's not in love with his wife anymore, but instead with someone else so he's leaving. Isn't that the right thing to do rather than stay in his sham of a marriage and be a crap father to his kids? The whole situation sucks, but if he's not in love anymore then I don't see what the alternative is.

sextonseven said:

RodeoSchro said:

Tell me where he lives and I'll punch him in the mouth.

I may also have the carcass of a dead rat that I can throw at him.

But seriously, someone should punch the guy out. Preferably in front of the whore that helped break up the marriage.

Why should he be punched in the mouth? He's not in love with his wife anymore, but instead with someone else so he's leaving. Isn't that the right thing to do rather than stay in his sham of a marriage and be a crap father to his kids? The whole situation sucks, but if he's not in love anymore then I don't see what the alternative is.

Well the smart thing to do would be to stay with his wife and bang the shit out of that new pussy on the side.

If he's sick, is new pussy gonna take care of him? No.

If he's hungry, is new pussy gonna feed him? New pussy can't cook!

sextonseven said:

RodeoSchro said:

Tell me where he lives and I'll punch him in the mouth.

I may also have the carcass of a dead rat that I can throw at him.

But seriously, someone should punch the guy out. Preferably in front of the whore that helped break up the marriage.

Why should he be punched in the mouth? He's not in love with his wife anymore, but instead with someone else so he's leaving. Isn't that the right thing to do rather than stay in his sham of a marriage and be a crap father to his kids? The whole situation sucks, but if he's not in love anymore then I don't see what the alternative is.

That's also a very reasonable view. Generally I'm pretty straightforward and am not at all in favor of people staying together for the kids or trying to work it out endlessly.

However, in this case, I don't know. It just seems so off and unrealistic for him.

And I want to punch him for the way his behaviour is truly hurting his children. That just breaks my heart. Both of them are nauseas and throwing up regularly at the moment. And they both cling to me. The boy, who knows me since the day he was born and has spend so much time with me at my house, and has allways trusted me, suddenly he panicks every time I'm out of his sight for a minute. He starts crying, and when I ask him why, he says he's so afraid I will leave him alone.

This is a very tough 6 year old. A good rebel. Normal for him is that he wants to play on his own in my garden, while I'm reading my newspaper. He loves the tranquility in my house and that he can just do what he wants. Not bothered by my presence. Now he panicks when he doesn't have me in his sight. I want him to fight with me again, be naughty, test me by playing football in my living room. Not this heartbraking fear of abandonment.

That's why I want to punch him in the face. Because his wife and he both are good persons. It's not that they are unreasonable people. He could go through this crisis. And not have his son distraught as he is currently.

His little daughter, the same story. She is very girly and sweet. However, also has that Enlish wit since the day she was born. She is very strongwilled and born with an attitude. I love that about her. Now, the attitude is gone and she is just hugging me and clinging to me. Doesn't want me to go to my own house. She wants me to stay with mommy. That just breaks my heart.

In the meantime mom is working her ass off, making the money for the family. She allways has. For years. Actually, this is the first year that he actually had made a little career (after 15 years of her mental support and making sure the family is financially save) and started making some money for himself. And now this.

The more that I think about it, actually, the more respect I loose for him.

It's not that simple a matter of leave your family when your in love with someone else. I belief in family unit and fighting for your marriage and kids. And he doesn't. That's what makes me angry I guess.

Thank you all for posting. I have to consider all sides and that makes me clearer on the issue. And that really helps me in being a better support for mom and the kids.

sextonseven said:

RodeoSchro said:

Tell me where he lives and I'll punch him in the mouth.

I may also have the carcass of a dead rat that I can throw at him.

But seriously, someone should punch the guy out. Preferably in front of the whore that helped break up the marriage.

Why should he be punched in the mouth? He's not in love with his wife anymore, but instead with someone else so he's leaving. Isn't that the right thing to do rather than stay in his sham of a marriage and be a crap father to his kids? The whole situation sucks, but if he's not in love anymore then I don't see what the alternative is.

that's a choice he has to make - he could certainly improve his attitude and make a much bigger effort in this department.

It's not his kids he's no longer in love with, right? When you agree to have kids that's a life-long committment.

IMO, he is behaving like a child and I bet even though his wife isn't saying so out loud, she would be giving plenty of non-verbal clues about how she is sick of looking after yet ANOTHER child. He's not getting the attention he wants, so when someone else starts giving him non-judgmental time and attention, voila, he's in love.

What he has to realise is THAT lady, who might be fun and young now is gonna want A BABY!!! and he is gonna find himself 10 years down the track in the same situation!

i think that a supportive friend like you is just what that family needs!!!!

just be careful u r not burdened with taking on too much..........

and i dont blame u 4 being angry!!!!

to u because u r a nice person... and these days that's very rare

JowiiCoco said:

sextonseven said:

Why should he be punched in the mouth? He's not in love with his wife anymore, but instead with someone else so he's leaving. Isn't that the right thing to do rather than stay in his sham of a marriage and be a crap father to his kids? The whole situation sucks, but if he's not in love anymore then I don't see what the alternative is.

Well the smart thing to do would be to stay with his wife and bang the shit out of that new pussy on the side.

If he's sick, is new pussy gonna take care of him? No.

If he's hungry, is new pussy gonna feed him? New pussy can't cook!

That's right, because whores can't cook.

Men should definitely consider having kids before they do, but yeah I have to say it sounds like there is no reason for this guy to be around anymore.

NDRU said:

Men should definitely consider having kids before they do, but yeah I have to say it sounds like there is no reason for this guy to be around anymore.

he has conveniently made it so, seems to me, acted like a loser long enough, hoped the wife would kick him out so he didn't have to be the BAD guy

ZombieKitten said:

NDRU said:

Men should definitely consider having kids before they do, but yeah I have to say it sounds like there is no reason for this guy to be around anymore.

he has conveniently made it so, seems to me, acted like a loser long enough, hoped the wife would kick him out so he didn't have to be the BAD guy

if he leaves he will be responsible for child support, where if he stays married he is not legally obligated to work. Isn't that odd?

NDRU said:

ZombieKitten said:

he has conveniently made it so, seems to me, acted like a loser long enough, hoped the wife would kick him out so he didn't have to be the BAD guy

if he leaves he will be responsible for child support, where if he stays married he is not legally obligated to work. Isn't that odd?

what I distill from what you've written is, that this man has been enabled by his wife, and now by you. She should throw his ass out, but she doesn't. she accepts his bullshit, so he continues it.

this guy will make a complete dufus of himself, then come runing back to be comforted.

It must be a nightmare for mum and the kids.Your a true friend to them.

Take it easy now dJJ...

NDRU said:

Men should definitely consider having kids before they do, but yeah I have to say it sounds like there is no reason for this guy to be around anymore.

Exactly what I was going to say. It should be equally hard for a man to walk away from his kids as it is for a woman.

Vendetta1 said:

NDRU said:

Men should definitely consider having kids before they do, but yeah I have to say it sounds like there is no reason for this guy to be around anymore.

Exactly what I was going to say. It should be equally hard for a man to walk away from his kids as it is for a woman.

ZombieKitten said:

Vendetta1 said:

Exactly what I was going to say. It should be equally hard for a man to walk away from his kids as it is for a woman.

yes, I agree, the only reason I think they would be better off without him is that he is just a drain on them financially

He should at least take care of himself! Then he should pay child support. Of course all along he should be a loving father too.

dJJ said:

Thank you all for posting. I have to consider all sides and that makes me clearer on the issue. And that really helps me in being a better support for mom and the kids.

All you can do is be there for them and try to detach yourself from the actual drama. Being supportive can be tricky...best of luck to you guys.

Off topic, whatever happened to the guy you sued? Did you guys work things out?

ZombieKitten said:

What he has to realise is THAT lady, who might be fun and young now is gonna want A BABY!!! and he is gonna find himself 10 years down the track in the same situation!

How do you know that? Maybe the reason he's in love with this new girl is because she DOESN'T want to have any children.

sextonseven said:

ZombieKitten said:

What he has to realise is THAT lady, who might be fun and young now is gonna want A BABY!!! and he is gonna find himself 10 years down the track in the same situation!

How do you know that? Maybe the reason he's in love with this new girl is because she DOESN'T want to have any children.

or, with any luck she will want them but won't be able to have them

NDRU said:

sextonseven said:

How do you know that? Maybe the reason he's in love with this new girl is because she DOESN'T want to have any children.

or, with any luck she will want them but won't be able to have them

you think the IVF and adoption lifestyle is a fun path?

sextonseven said:

ZombieKitten said:

What he has to realise is THAT lady, who might be fun and young now is gonna want A BABY!!! and he is gonna find himself 10 years down the track in the same situation!

How do you know that? Maybe the reason he's in love with this new girl is because she DOESN'T want to have any children.

I watch Modern Family!

ZombieKitten said:

sextonseven said:

How do you know that? Maybe the reason he's in love with this new girl is because she DOESN'T want to have any children.

I watch Modern Family!

I've never seen that show so I don't get the reference.

ZombieKitten said:

NDRU said:

or, with any luck she will want them but won't be able to have them

you think the IVF and adoption lifestyle is a fun path?

No but I am a fan of shattered dreams!

NDRU said:

sextonseven said:

How do you know that? Maybe the reason he's in love with this new girl is because she DOESN'T want to have any children.

or, with any luck she will want them but won't be able to have them

With any luck, not with this guy, but instead with someone else. I would not wish infertility on any woman that wanted to have children.