There's a family in Plano, TX, the Johnson's. A rich, white, Republican family...9 children, all home schooled, not a television in the house, devoted Catholics...you get the picture. About two years ago they thought they were doing their Christian duty by taking a trip to Africa and adopting three Ethiopian orphans...13 year old boy, 8 year old girl, 5 year old boy. Got the kids to America and educated them. Once the kids learned to speak english the Johnson's found out that they were not orphans...they were somehow sold by their father to the adoption agency (I think...that part of the story Im a little confused about). The two older children began to cause problems in the household and the Johnson's found themselves at their wits end. They ended up giving they oldest boy away to another family but decided to keep the youngest boy. As for the girl...

Father Paul (the priest at my parents church in Greenville, TX) approached my parents about spending some time with the girl and possibly adopting her. My parents knew the Johnson's from church and went to a get together at their home to meet the girl. Things went well and my mom began to spend time with her away from the Johnson's. It started with my mom taking her out for a day...then the girl spending the night...then a weekend...then my parents agreed to become her guardians (? that part is a little confusing too...they have not adopted her but are now her guardians). The agreement was that it was supposed to be a temporary thing and the girl would still be able to visit her family.

Well as time went by, the Johnson's began to totally distance themselves from the little girl. They would promise her that she could visit them after church on Sunday...then they wouldnt show up at mass. Then they got tired of the little girl calling them and wanting to know when they were going to see each other and stopped answering their phone. I guess they felt bad so they took her to McDonalds on her birthday, bought her a happy meal and spent maybe an hour in the playground with her before telling her straight up that she needs to accept that she is not a member of their family and they basically want nothing to do with her. The girl is devastated and my parents are left to deal with this.

On top of it all they drilled into her head that she is African...not black. There is a big difference between Africans and American blacks and you should not consider yourself "one of them" is what they told her. Now this girl is black as the ace of spades...my mom is high yella (Creole straight from the bayou) and my father is white, black, native american...no black features whatsoever. The girl is embarassed to be seen with my "black" parents and has told my mom that she likes them but doesnt always feel comfortable with them because they are not the "right color". My parents enrolled her in a private school and the girl asked her white teacher if she has any kids. Teacher says no and the girl tells her she could take her home because "they're not really my parents". The teacher is well aware of the situation and is working with my mom to help the girl.

The school has a deal where the parents are supposed to take turns providing snacks for all of the students. When some parents shirked their responsibility the teacher sent a note home reminding the parents of the deal. My parents go to Costco and basically provided the school with enough snacks to last a couple of months. On the day they delivered the snacks my dad was running late and told the little girl that he would drop her off so she would be on time...he would then park and bring the snacks to the classroom for her. The girl didnt want her classmates to see her "black" father so she refuses to get out of the car and refused to go to school that day.

I could go on and on but I think you get the picture. My parents are in it for the long haul but boy are they frustrated.

Just thought I'd share...

omg those poor kids!!!

That's awful, taken from their families to another country, then rejected AGAIN

Your poor parents, doing the right thing and ending up in a big mess like this.

How old is the girl now?

She just turned 11 a couple of weeks ago.

My mom threw a party for her and invited all her little friends from school. The girl was really excited but she actually told my mom "It's Saturday and I know you normally go shopping. You can go...Mrs. Taylor (white parent of one of her friends) is here and she can run the party." Still trying to get my mom and dad to leave their own house so she doesnt have to be seen with them.

They go to the mall...she walks in front of or behind my parents to not look like she's with them. When they go to church she is constantly looking for the Johnson's and if they are there she tries to sit with them instead of my parents.

It's really sad. My father is just about done with the whole thing but my mom refuses to give up.

Oh, this is so sad. Bless your parents for taking on this child, but have they tried to talk to her and explain what is going on? I'd be damned if I'd provide food, shelter and clothing and she treat me like that. I know it's not her fault, but she is old enough to understand that this is unacceptable behavior. And what I don't understand is if you parents, especially your dad, don't have black features, how can she say "they're too black," when she's the blackest thing in the room? Lil girl needs to be schooled but quickly.

Some people are not fit to have kids or raise kids. Period!

So much for the "do unto others" thing eh??

I feel sorry for your parents and those kids.

oh wow! extremely difficult and complicated situation. God help them! Poor little girl is totally messed up

Heartbreaking story.

Did her parents told her in Africa that she was to have a better future for herself with her new white family? Maybe, in order to emotionally handle the adoption and leaving her family, she was told she was the chosen one and therefore should be happy to leave and live with a white family.

Maybe she was led to believe that she is very special (leaving family and continent in order to live with rich people in America) in stead of realizing the truth (being sold by her parents for money, hoping for improving circumstances). Her 'special' status is reinforced by her attending a private school and chosen by another family. And she has learned that there is not such thing as a strong family bond. She gets tossed around, depending on whether she is a good girl and how people like her. So, the only thing she can hang on to is the idea of being special. And one feature of her being special, is that she is above the Afro Americans. Her special, chosen one status is her defense mechanism and it is related to not being Afro American, however being a real African girl.

Poor girl. Poor your parents.

I'm very proud of your mother that she knows it is nothing personal and even nothing to do with any color. It's all about what the girl was told and how she formed a defense mechanism as being special. Is it possible to get counseling for your parents and the girl? Counselor that is specialized in racial identity issues would be the best choice I would think.

Is there any way your parents can contact the Johnsons about it? And contact her real parents?

Well, lots of love and respect for your parents, not giving up on this girl. I really think they are doing their best for this little lady, knowing that they won't get the apreciation, and maybe it will last another 15 years before she can realize what good and loving people they are......

I think it's ridiculous that instead of educating her about the different ethnic groups among Africans and Black Americans, they made it seem like it's a negative thing to be Black American, because it is obvious this family who brought her here, hold their own racial prejudices about Black Americans themselves, and it is sad they would impose that kind of racist bullsh*t on her. Thing is, Black Americans are descendants of many Black African ethnic groups, so why would she even tell this girl some bs that she is "different" from them? The only thing that separates that little girl from Black American ethnic groups is her culture or possibly her language, that's just about it. That totally tells you right there where the mentally of her original pre-adoptive parents is...messed up from the beginning. The thing is, there's so many, ethnic Black African groups, that this little girl should have been educated about. Sad thing that your parents have to deal with and maybe that's what she needs to be educated about, the different Black American ethnic groups that exists among Black Americans, from the Black Creoles to the Black Caribbeans, Black Hispanics, Southern/Northern American Black groups and the many complexions that exists among us, then she wouldn't feel so "different", because that's what I think she is feeling, based on the bs that family fed her.

It's all different cultures and ethnic groups with nothing to be ashamed of or embarassed about, among various Black ethnic groups. It seems to me that family that brought this little girl here, filled her head with racial prejudice against Black Americans before she had her own chance of experiencing them herself. Somehow that doesn't seem to surprise me. All I can say is bless your parents for trying to deal with her, because it's really not that little girl's fault how she's acting, as she seems very confused, by the people who filled her head with some crazy bs.

Not to mentiion, there are many people in America and other places around that world that are ignorant about Africa, that think that all Africa is poor and underdeveloped, which is absolutely not true. There are well- developed countries there, and Africans making a good living. I think some people get confused by the images they see on American tv of the poor areas in Africa that are only shown on American other tv stations throughout the world that only focus on the poor and underdeveloped areas of Africa, which don't show all the images of Africa that are developed. America and other places around the world are not the only places African children can succeed in the world, that is not realistic view.

[Edited 5/13/11 12:41pm]

I'm sorry, but this whole thing doesn't pass the smell test. If the kids were sold, why didn't someone go back to the adoption agency? Or to the authorities of the country in question? Child trafficking is criminal in pretty much every country on earth, I'd have to think. And kids can't just be passed hand to hand in the U.S. without the authorities becoming involved at some stage.

Genesia said:

I'm sorry, but this whole thing doesn't pass the smell test. If the kids were sold, why didn't someone go back to the adoption agency? Or to the authorities of the country in question? Child trafficking is criminal in pretty much every country on earth, I'd have to think. And kids can't just be passed hand to hand in the U.S. without the authorities becoming involved at some stage.

Yes, sounds valid.

What do you think, the story is fake?

dJJ said:

Genesia said:

I'm sorry, but this whole thing doesn't pass the smell test. If the kids were sold, why didn't someone go back to the adoption agency? Or to the authorities of the country in question? Child trafficking is criminal in pretty much every country on earth, I'd have to think. And kids can't just be passed hand to hand in the U.S. without the authorities becoming involved at some stage.

Yes, sounds valid.

What do you think, the story is fake?

I'm not saying "fake" - because I am not about to impugn the OP without knowing the whole story. But at the very least, there's a lot missing, I think.

Stoneimmaculate said:

On top of it all they drilled into her head that she is African...not black. There is a big difference between Africans and American blacks and you should not consider yourself "one of them" is what they told her. Now this girl is black as the ace of spades...my mom is high yella (Creole straight from the bayou) and my father is white, black, native american...no black features whatsoever. The girl is embarassed to be seen with my "black" parents and has told my mom that she likes them but doesnt always feel comfortable with them because they are not the "right color". My parents enrolled her in a private school and the girl asked her white teacher if she has any kids. Teacher says no and the girl tells her she could take her home because "they're not really my parents". The teacher is well aware of the situation and is working with my mom to help the girl.

See that part right there is totally f*d up. That couple that brought that child here really screwed up that little girl's head. It's almost like they taught her self-hatred early, but she doesn't realize it yet. Scary. Something I don't get in your post though... You state your Dad doesn't have "black features" so then if he doesn't have black features, then why would the kid not want to be seen with him? :confused:

[Edited 5/13/11 12:52pm]

Genesia said:

dJJ said:

Yes, sounds valid.

What do you think, the story is fake?

I'm not saying "fake" - because I am not about to impugn the OP without knowing the whole story. But at the very least, there's a lot missing, I think.

I refered to the first adoption procedures. It is a strange story indeed, however, stranger stories have ended up being true.

Well, hope the best for everybody involved.

Genesia said:

I'm sorry, but this whole thing doesn't pass the smell test. If the kids were sold, why didn't someone go back to the adoption agency? Or to the authorities of the country in question? Child trafficking is criminal in pretty much every country on earth, I'd have to think. And kids can't just be passed hand to hand in the U.S. without the authorities becoming involved at some stage.

Genesia is right...why haven't authorities been contacted? They should be, because either the biological father needs to be jailed or the "adoptive" family who abandoned her.

versiongirl said:

Genesia said:

I'm sorry, but this whole thing doesn't pass the smell test. If the kids were sold, why didn't someone go back to the adoption agency? Or to the authorities of the country in question? Child trafficking is criminal in pretty much every country on earth, I'd have to think. And kids can't just be passed hand to hand in the U.S. without the authorities becoming involved at some stage.

Genesia is right...why haven't authorities been contacted? They should be, because either the biological father needs to be jailed or the "adoptive" family who abandoned her.

Selling your kids is quite common in some parts of Africa also having your kids abducted for slavery etc. This is a snippet from a BBC website about slavery:

About 211 million children aged from five to 14 are at work around the world, according to Unicef, despite being too young to do so under international standards. Most of them are not considered to be victims of forced labour. The ILO estimates that between five and six million children are forced labourers (40-50% of the total). Some of them are born into bondage, others are sold by their parents or abducted - they work in agriculture, industry, domestic work and the sex trade.

I appreciate this story is NOT about slavery, my point is regarding purely to the legitimacy of the Child being "Sold" to an adoption agency. It does happen

Im a little confused about the initial adoption as well.

I know their mom was not around and their father somehow sold them to an adoption agency? I think they were raised by their grandmother.

Something like that but I'll check with my mom cause its bugging me too.

I know they (the Johnson's) did call the adoption agency when thy found out but nothing could be done...something like that but again...I'll check.

Anyways...yeah the girl is WAAAY confused. If you tell her she's black..."No, Im African." She seriously doesnt see how the color kind of makes you the same. She's basically got it in her head that she belongs with whites.

She is getting better (according to my mom). I think my dad straight up showed her an email from the Johnson's that told him in so many words to stop bugging them. She had no reaction but eventually they could see that the message got there. She knows the Johnson's dont want her but is still kind of struggling with my folks.

itsnotallover said:

versiongirl said:

Genesia is right...why haven't authorities been contacted? They should be, because either the biological father needs to be jailed or the "adoptive" family who abandoned her.

Selling your kids is quite common in some parts of Africa also having your kids abducted for slavery etc. This is a snippet from a BBC website about slavery:

Child Labour

About 211 million children aged from five to 14 are at work around the world, according to Unicef, despite being too young to do so under international standards. Most of them are not considered to be victims of forced labour. The ILO estimates that between five and six million children are forced labourers (40-50% of the total). Some of them are born into bondage, others are sold by their parents or abducted - they work in agriculture, industry, domestic work and the sex trade.

I appreciate this story is NOT about slavery, my point is regarding purely to the legitimacy of the Child being "Sold" to an adoption agency. It does happen

Ummmm...I didn't say it didn't happen. I said it wasn't legal.

And a family in the U.S., upon hearing that the children they had adopted were sold for that purpose, would certainly have an obligation to report that.

StonedImmaculate said:

Im a little confused about the initial adoption as well.

I know their mom was not around and their father somehow sold them to an adoption agency? I think they were raised by their grandmother.

Something like that but I'll check with my mom cause its bugging me too.

I know they (the Johnson's) did call the adoption agency when thy found out but nothing could be done...something like that but again...I'll check.

Anyways...yeah the girl is WAAAY confused. If you tell her she's black..."No, Im African." She seriously doesnt see how the color kind of makes you the same. She's basically got it in her head that she belongs with whites.

She is getting better (according to my mom). I think my dad straight up showed her an email from the Johnson's that told him in so many words to stop bugging them. She had no reaction but eventually they could see that the message got there. She knows the Johnson's dont want her but is still kind of struggling with my folks.

I feel horrible for her. She tried to deny that she was again abanded and now she realizes. She also realizes that she is with your parents by their grace. As far as she know, they can abandon her as soon as they feel like it. And maybe she now thinks that she better become a proper Afro-American, otherwise your parents might abandon her too.

I think the whole race thing is intertwined with her being save, guarded and taken care of. She has to adjust her own racial identity to any current family that provides her with shelter. I really don't think she is developing healty identity and self image.

However, I still have so much respect for your parents really putting an effort into raising her and not giving up on her. I think that's great. They must be great people.

Genesia said:

itsnotallover said:

Selling your kids is quite common in some parts of Africa also having your kids abducted for slavery etc. This is a snippet from a BBC website about slavery:

Child Labour

About 211 million children aged from five to 14 are at work around the world, according to Unicef, despite being too young to do so under international standards. Most of them are not considered to be victims of forced labour. The ILO estimates that between five and six million children are forced labourers (40-50% of the total). Some of them are born into bondage, others are sold by their parents or abducted - they work in agriculture, industry, domestic work and the sex trade.

I appreciate this story is NOT about slavery, my point is regarding purely to the legitimacy of the Child being "Sold" to an adoption agency. It does happen

Ummmm...I didn't say it didn't happen. I said it wasn't legal.

And a family in the U.S., upon hearing that the children they had adopted were sold for that purpose, would certainly have an obligation to report that.

Maybe they should have yes, but then what happens to that child? Do they send the Child back to Africa? If so, what is going to happen to that Child? Sold again to the Sex industry? Forced Labour?

What would you do?

itsnotallover said:

Genesia said:

Ummmm...I didn't say it didn't happen. I said it wasn't legal.

And a family in the U.S., upon hearing that the children they had adopted were sold for that purpose, would certainly have an obligation to report that.

Maybe they should have yes, but then what happens to that child? Do they send the Child back to Africa? If so, what is going to happen to that Child? Sold again to the Sex industry? Forced Labour?

What would you do?

I have no idea what happens. I certainly don't have any personal experience with that kind of situation. But if this agency is placing children for adoption in the United States, the fact that they traffic in children must to be reported - to federal authorities (U.S. attorney) or the State Department.

Recall the big brouhaha that arose from a group wanting to bring Haitian orphans to the U.S. after the earthquake - when they found out that many of the children actually weren't orphans, at all.

she was better off in africa...

thats the problem with adoption these day there should be no refunding of the children

StonedImmaculate said:

There's a family in Plano, TX, the Johnson's. A rich, white, Republican family...9 children, all home schooled, not a television in the house, devoted Catholics...you get the picture. About two years ago they thought they were doing their Christian duty by taking a trip to Africa and adopting three Ethiopian orphans...13 year old boy, 8 year old girl, 5 year old boy. Got the kids to America and educated them. Once the kids learned to speak english the Johnson's found out that they were not orphans...they were somehow sold by their father to the adoption agency (I think...that part of the story Im a little confused about). The two older children began to cause problems in the household and the Johnson's found themselves at their wits end. They ended up giving they oldest boy away to another family but decided to keep the youngest boy. As for the girl...

Father Paul (the priest at my parents church in Greenville, TX) approached my parents about spending some time with the girl and possibly adopting her. My parents knew the Johnson's from church and went to a get together at their home to meet the girl. Things went well and my mom began to spend time with her away from the Johnson's. It started with my mom taking her out for a day...then the girl spending the night...then a weekend...then my parents agreed to become her guardians (? that part is a little confusing too...they have not adopted her but are now her guardians). The agreement was that it was supposed to be a temporary thing and the girl would still be able to visit her family.

Well as time went by, the Johnson's began to totally distance themselves from the little girl. They would promise her that she could visit them after church on Sunday...then they wouldnt show up at mass. Then they got tired of the little girl calling them and wanting to know when they were going to see each other and stopped answering their phone. I guess they felt bad so they took her to McDonalds on her birthday, bought her a happy meal and spent maybe an hour in the playground with her before telling her straight up that she needs to accept that she is not a member of their family and they basically want nothing to do with her. The girl is devastated and my parents are left to deal with this.

On top of it all they drilled into her head that she is African...not black. There is a big difference between Africans and American blacks and you should not consider yourself "one of them" is what they told her. Now this girl is black as the ace of spades...my mom is high yella (Creole straight from the bayou) and my father is white, black, native american...no black features whatsoever. The girl is embarassed to be seen with my "black" parents and has told my mom that she likes them but doesnt always feel comfortable with them because they are not the "right color". My parents enrolled her in a private school and the girl asked her white teacher if she has any kids. Teacher says no and the girl tells her she could take her home because "they're not really my parents". The teacher is well aware of the situation and is working with my mom to help the girl.

The school has a deal where the parents are supposed to take turns providing snacks for all of the students. When some parents shirked their responsibility the teacher sent a note home reminding the parents of the deal. My parents go to Costco and basically provided the school with enough snacks to last a couple of months. On the day they delivered the snacks my dad was running late and told the little girl that he would drop her off so she would be on time...he would then park and bring the snacks to the classroom for her. The girl didnt want her classmates to see her "black" father so she refuses to get out of the car and refused to go to school that day.

I could go on and on but I think you get the picture. My parents are in it for the long haul but boy are they frustrated.

Just thought I'd share...

after this sentence i knew this was gonna be a tragic..

oh and fuck the johnsons!!!! you can tell they adopted those kids for the wrong/fake reasons

hopefully your family can pick up the pieces

formallypickles said:

she was better off in africa...

thats the problem with adoption these day there should be no refunding of the children

The OP states that her Father sold her / them to the agency. So, if he was willing to sell to the Agency, but they didn't take them, who else would he have sold the children to?

Genesia said:

I'm sorry, but this whole thing doesn't pass the smell test. If the kids were sold, why didn't someone go back to the adoption agency? Or to the authorities of the country in question? Child trafficking is criminal in pretty much every country on earth, I'd have to think. And kids can't just be passed hand to hand in the U.S. without the authorities becoming involved at some stage.

THIS!!

The situation is too much for your mum to handle; the little girl needs professional help after being sold

then brainwashed by the previous family.

StonedImmaculate said:

Im a little confused about the initial adoption as well.

I know their mom was not around and their father somehow sold them to an adoption agency? I think they were raised by their grandmother.

Something like that but I'll check with my mom cause its bugging me too.

I know they (the Johnson's) did call the adoption agency when thy found out but nothing could be done...something like that but again...I'll check.

Anyways...yeah the girl is WAAAY confused. If you tell her she's black..."No, Im African." She seriously doesnt see how the color kind of makes you the same. She's basically got it in her head that she belongs with whites.

She is getting better (according to my mom). I think my dad straight up showed her an email from the Johnson's that told him in so many words to stop bugging them. She had no reaction but eventually they could see that the message got there. She knows the Johnson's dont want her but is still kind of struggling with my folks.

African only identifies her nationality, not her ethnicity, that's what's she's confused about. What African ethnic group is she from? Does she even know? Is she aware that the term African-American or Black-American is a general term used differently in America, because Black or African-American identifies Blacks in America, where a large majority of Black in this country, are descendents of many, African ethnic groups who were enslaved in America. So many Blacks in this country, share African ancestors they may never know of. That's what that little girl may never understand if she isn't taught that, and in America, Black is often used to define a person of color by skin tone, regardless of the various skin tones that exists among us a whole from fair-skinned to very, dark skin.

In Africa, come to think of it, like in the Caribbean, people of color normally identify themselves by their country of birth or ethnic group. It really is not unusual for Africans though to refer to themselves as Africans. I've heard the model Iman say this, but many usually will identify themselves by their African country, (i.e, Nigerian, Ugandan, Kenyan, etc. Also in the Caribbean, many islanders do the same, i.e. (Jamaican, Trinidadian, Bejan, etc, whereas in America, many Blacks identify as Black American or African-American. This is common. It is all related to cultural standards more than likely.

[Edited 5/13/11 14:55pm]

itsnotallover said:

formallypickles said:

she was better off in africa...

thats the problem with adoption these day there should be no refunding of the children

The OP states that her Father sold her / them to the agency. So, if he was willing to sell to the Agency, but they didn't take them, who else would he have sold the children to?

seems like they were fucked either way

they certainly arent having a grand ole time here either

that Family dogged them out just as hard as the father

at least in africa they would have some self worth and culture pride

[Edited 5/13/11 14:53pm]

[Edited 5/13/11 14:54pm]

Wait a minute. This isn't another installment of "What's wrong with this paragraph?" Is it?

No it isnt.

This unfortunately is 100% true.

I read the original post like 3 times and I am STILL at a loss for words.... this whole situation is a huge mess.