Have you ever loved doing something and then over the years really began despising it? Like a job or career choice? But you kept on doing it because you were ashamed to throw in the towel or because you couldnt see any other choice? Or maybe because you have a great talent for it and other people counted on you? Then gradually or instantly after a life fart you feel like you can't do it any more and you dont know how to get out.

Do you get therapy or something? Its making you physically and mentally sick bercause you just don't want to do it any more? :exhausted:

I don't think I have ever been in that situation, so I don't really have anything uplifting to say or advice to give. Sorry. But one thing I would say is that life is short, don't be stuck being anything you don't want to be. Find a way out and be happy.

Evvy,

It isn't always easy to make a significant change, even when you really want to and think it is best.

The only advice I can offer is to just jump into the deep end of the pool.

Difficult conversations, difficult decisions once you have decided what you want to do are like pulling off a bandage - do it quickly and then ride out the consequences.

Best wishes!

BTW - I'm going through a similar situation myself. I've decided what I want/need to do, but I am so dreading having the conversation that will get the ball rolling. I've given myself a deadline. I will have this conversation by May 20th. I'm the kind of person who always meets a deadline, so this should work for me. I'll probably get it over with before then, though. I don't like hanging in limbo.

I was a hairdresser, loved it... became certified as a master colorist. I was doing the damn thing. I was so good I didn't know that I was taking money away from the daughter of the salon owner since she was never a really good stylist.

I was the best colorist in that salon (it was a kick ass team too, all the stylists were great at what they did...except for the daughter of the owner) ... but I walked away from it all... because over time the salon owner took her daughters side and believed the lies told to her by her daughter. That I was stealing color and product.

I was so hurt, because as good as I was, I still wasn't earning much, my take was 30% of what I brought in.... but I was GIVEN all the product I needed. I never had to steal, I was even given free kits of new product to test on with models. I had no reason to steal anything, I had a generous boss. She even gave me beautiful Christmas gifts year after year. But still, the accusation of being a thief was false and I was no longer happy at my job. I felt angry that my boss would even believe such a thing and I felt wronged... I started to become bitter.

So I quit, and I felt lost for a bit until I found a new lifestyle and career that has nothing to do with hair. I did different jobs, but then I started landscaping more and more. I enjoy it more than anything else I ever did (landscaping design) and I have no regrets. I live in a city were planting space is at a premium and increasingly scarce... but I have no regrets. Change is scary, but change keeps you happy as well.

What made me quit working in the salon was that the stress of not liking my job made me so stressed out I was a mess. I needed to leave, I hated my job and I didn't feel like I was accomplishing anything. I wasn't whole anymore.

What ever you do, do what makes you happy. Life should be filled with joy, and at your workplace if you are happy you will be the best you... the same in a relationship... group... etc.

paintedlady said:

What ever you do, do what makes you happy. Life should be filled with joy, and at your workplace if you are happy you will be the best you... the same in a relationship... group... etc.

I love this sentiment, paintedlady!

maybe you could transition gently? keep doing what youa re doing (even though it sucks), and make an effort to change your employment venue over time? or, simply walk away and start something new elsewhere. always an option. hope things work out for you...

[Edited 5/11/11 16:05pm]

@ Life Fart

It is never too late to change to another career (transfer of skills) or go back to school.

Evvy,

I was just thinking about you. Were you able to take that step?

It really helped me by having a deadline and I can say that I had my

uncomfortable conversation with my boss, telling her that I am leaving my

job of 16 years to go live in South America for a year. I was really

surprised at how well she took it. But I feel so much better with that off my back!!

I hope you find a way to obtain your happiness, too!

ive been in the same job since 1987 & would love 2 get out of it but its what im trained 2 do so im f**ked!

When it comes to your job...when you wake up in the morning and HATE going to work, then it's time for a change.

It's OK to moan and groan about your job, but to actually DESPISE going to work?

My last job got me to the point where I was under so much stress that my hair was falling out AND I would wake up almost every morning and puke!

NEVER AGAIN.

Evvy said:

Have you ever loved doing something and then over the years really began despising it? Like a job or career choice?

I have been a stay at home Dad for 5 years. I did this so my Wife could follow her dream / ambition to become a Paramedic. She is now happy with her Job, in fact this is the happiest I have seen her in the 11 Years we have been together and I have enjoyed every moment of it, I have experienced things that many Dad's miss out on through work commitments, such as Baby's first step, first words etc etc.

I don't despise doing it, but I really miss work, I miss having my own Money and the Social aspects etc and it is proving really difficult to get back into work now, Employers don't view me as a good risk I suppose

The things I do despise though are the narrow minded folk who feel they have to make negative "comments" about our choice - "Stay at home dads = Lazy Men"

We need to get outta the '50's

Lisa10 said:

I don't think I have ever been in that situation, so I don't really have anything uplifting to say or advice to give. Sorry. But one thing I would say is that life is short, don't be stuck being anything you don't want to be. Find a way out and be happy.

You saved me some keystrokes .

Exactly what I was gonna say.

CallMeCarrie said:

Evvy,

I was just thinking about you. Were you able to take that step?

It really helped me by having a deadline and I can say that I had my

uncomfortable conversation with my boss, telling her that I am leaving my

job of 16 years to go live in South America for a year. I was really

surprised at how well she took it. But I feel so much better with that off my back!!

I hope you find a way to obtain your happiness, too!

unfortunately I am the boss (small business) and my paycheck is needed in my household. But, I am restructuring things, so that I can pull away for awhile without it taking a chunk out of our annual income. hopefully then I can make a clear decision and take the next step by fall- which would probably be school.

Add that into me trying to get pregnant again ( which will never happen under this stress) and dealing with those issues and it's alot on my plate.

Thank you so much for thinking of me- I am really touched by your compassion and understanding.

PurpleJedi said:

When it comes to your job...when you wake up in the morning and HATE going to work, then it's time for a change.

It's OK to moan and groan about your job, but to actually DESPISE going to work?

My last job got me to the point where I was under so much stress that my hair was falling out AND I would wake up almost every morning and puke!

NEVER AGAIN.

is that what being a porn star does 2u then??u puke & ur hair falls out??

Evvy said:

CallMeCarrie said:

Evvy,

I was just thinking about you. Were you able to take that step?

It really helped me by having a deadline and I can say that I had my

uncomfortable conversation with my boss, telling her that I am leaving my

job of 16 years to go live in South America for a year. I was really

surprised at how well she took it. But I feel so much better with that off my back!!

I hope you find a way to obtain your happiness, too!

unfortunately I am the boss (small business) and my paycheck is needed in my household. But, I am restructuring things, so that I can pull away for awhile without it taking a chunk out of our annual income. hopefully then I can make a clear decision and take the next step by fall- which would probably be school.

Add that into me trying to get pregnant again ( which will never happen under this stress) and dealing with those issues and it's alot on my plate.

Thank you so much for thinking of me- I am really touched by your compassion and understanding.

I have found that one book had me take a different angle on life. And I'm still gratefull that I've done everything step by step. (coach yourself to succes - Talane Miedaner)

I've changed a lot of things in my life, however, haven't found a satisfying career yet. However, I now know that it will come. I will make that happen.

CallMeCarrie said:

Evvy,

It isn't always easy to make a significant change, even when you really want to and think it is best.

The only advice I can offer is to just jump into the deep end of the pool.

Difficult conversations, difficult decisions once you have decided what you want to do are like pulling off a bandage - do it quickly and then ride out the consequences.

Best wishes!

BTW - I'm going through a similar situation myself. I've decided what I want/need to do, but I am so dreading having the conversation that will get the ball rolling. I've given myself a deadline. I will have this conversation by May 20th. I'm the kind of person who always meets a deadline, so this should work for me. I'll probably get it over with before then, though. I don't like hanging in limbo.

u want davetherave!!so get the ball rolling ok!dont hang in limbo.

davetherave6767 said:

PurpleJedi said:

When it comes to your job...when you wake up in the morning and HATE going to work, then it's time for a change.

It's OK to moan and groan about your job, but to actually DESPISE going to work?

My last job got me to the point where I was under so much stress that my hair was falling out AND I would wake up almost every morning and puke!

NEVER AGAIN.

is that what being a porn star does 2u then??u puke & ur hair falls out??

...only if you're expected to perform on oldhornywhores.com

PurpleJedi said:

davetherave6767 said:

is that what being a porn star does 2u then??u puke & ur hair falls out??

...only if you're expected to perform on oldhornywhores.com

oops

[Edited 5/25/11 15:14pm]

PurpleJedi said:

davetherave6767 said:

is that what being a porn star does 2u then??u puke & ur hair falls out??

...only if you're expected to perform on oldhornywhores.com

is that a site 4 real??? sounds fun.so there old!!!!! but there also horny???? old & horny & they can work magic when they take there teeth out!!!!!!!(so ive heard).

davetherave6767 said:

PurpleJedi said:

...only if you're expected to perform on oldhornywhores.com

is that a site 4 real??? sounds fun.so there old!!!!! but there also horny???? old & horny & they can work magic when they take there teeth out!!!!!!!(so ive heard).

I dunno...I remember when I first got the internet and I was "looking around" my PC caught some kind of virus and everytime I launched AOL I would get pop-ups for pornsites. One of them was called Oldhornywhores or something like that.

The old broads on the pop-ups were just naaaasty!

dJJ said:

Evvy said:

unfortunately I am the boss (small business) and my paycheck is needed in my household. But, I am restructuring things, so that I can pull away for awhile without it taking a chunk out of our annual income. hopefully then I can make a clear decision and take the next step by fall- which would probably be school.

Add that into me trying to get pregnant again ( which will never happen under this stress) and dealing with those issues and it's alot on my plate.

Thank you so much for thinking of me- I am really touched by your compassion and understanding.

I have found that one book had me take a different angle on life. And I'm still gratefull that I've done everything step by step. (coach yourself to succes - Talane Miedaner)

I've changed a lot of things in my life, however, haven't found a satisfying career yet. However, I now know that it will come. I will make that happen.

thanks for the book referal- i'll check it out

Evvy said:

Have you ever loved doing something and then over the years really began despising it? Like a job or career choice? But you kept on doing it because you were ashamed to throw in the towel or because you couldnt see any other choice? Or maybe because you have a great talent for it and other people counted on you? Then gradually or instantly after a life fart you feel like you can't do it any more and you dont know how to get out.

Do you get therapy or something? Its making you physically and mentally sick bercause you just don't want to do it any more? :exhausted:

Just quit. Stop doing whatever it is. As simple as that. You'll be relieved once you do, if you hate it so bad.

itsnotallover said:

Evvy said:

Have you ever loved doing something and then over the years really began despising it? Like a job or career choice?

I have been a stay at home Dad for 5 years. I did this so my Wife could follow her dream / ambition to become a Paramedic. She is now happy with her Job, in fact this is the happiest I have seen her in the 11 Years we have been together and I have enjoyed every moment of it, I have experienced things that many Dad's miss out on through work commitments, such as Baby's first step, first words etc etc.

I don't despise doing it, but I really miss work, I miss having my own Money and the Social aspects etc and it is proving really difficult to get back into work now, Employers don't view me as a good risk I suppose

The things I do despise though are the narrow minded folk who feel they have to make negative "comments" about our choice - "Stay at home dads = Lazy Men"

We need to get outta the '50's

I can relate to that but I think it would be worse for you being a man. I am a woman and quit my job because my husband's job is so stressful and he works over 70 hours a week, he wanted me to stay home, keep the house clean, have his dinner ready, all the things I could not do when I worked full time. I have done this for 10 years and homemaking really is my job, and I'm very Martha Stewart at it; our home is beautiful, clean as a whistle and I'm always there for my kids. But you would not believe the snarky remarks I get from women who work. The last thing I am is lazy, I almost never sit down to watch t.v. even at night, I always have to be doing something. Plus we own a small business and I'm busy with that. But when I left the work world, I was READY, I was so burnt out and I've never regretted it.

PenelopePaige said:

Evvy said:

Have you ever loved doing something and then over the years really began despising it? Like a job or career choice? But you kept on doing it because you were ashamed to throw in the towel or because you couldnt see any other choice? Or maybe because you have a great talent for it and other people counted on you? Then gradually or instantly after a life fart you feel like you can't do it any more and you dont know how to get out.

Do you get therapy or something? Its making you physically and mentally sick bercause you just don't want to do it any more? :exhausted:

Just quit. Stop doing whatever it is. As simple as that. You'll be relieved once you do, if you hate it so bad.

I will avoid cutting of my nose to spite my face.