So, I feel really weird about someone's passing...

When I was in 3rd grade, there was this kid that sort of "became" my friend but really wasn't. He was the class troublemaker and I was the new kid in school...short, skinny, and an easy target. He and his buddy would follow me home as "protection", although they're the only ones that ever really threatened me.

One day I asked the teacher to move my desk away from his, and he wound up retaliating with his fists. The one and only time that I've ever been "in a fight".

Anyway, I went to private school after that, and never saw or heard of him again. In 9th grade I switched back to public school and the first thing that I dreaded was facing him again. Fortunately he had been expelled from the district by then (or at least that's what I was told).

It's been what- 25 years? - since I've thought of this guy. TODAY a FB friend posted an R.I.P. with pictures of him. Apparently he's passed...don't know when or why.

I feel weird. I mean, you never wish death on anyone, but I can't say that I feel "bad" the way I do when I find out any other former classmate passes away. (I really hate being in my 40s!) It's not like he probably even remembered who I was or anything, but I will never forget the dark mark he left on me when I was 8 years old.

Does that make me a bad person? Actually, the more I think about it, (and the more I type this thread), the more I am inclined to light a candle for him in church this Sunday. He probably led a troubled life and perhaps he is finally at peace.

Anyway...just had to share.

PurpleJedi said:

I am inclined to light a candle for him in church this Sunday. He probably led a troubled life and perhaps he is finally at peace.

This is beautiful

PurpleJedi said:

So, I feel really weird about someone's passing...

When I was in 3rd grade, there was this kid that sort of "became" my friend but really wasn't. He was the class troublemaker and I was the new kid in school...short, skinny, and an easy target. He and his buddy would follow me home as "protection", although they're the only ones that ever really threatened me.

One day I asked the teacher to move my desk away from his, and he wound up retaliating with his fists. The one and only time that I've ever been "in a fight".

Anyway, I went to private school after that, and never saw or heard of him again. In 9th grade I switched back to public school and the first thing that I dreaded was facing him again. Fortunately he had been expelled from the district by then (or at least that's what I was told).

It's been what- 25 years? - since I've thought of this guy. TODAY a FB friend posted an R.I.P. with pictures of him. Apparently he's passed...don't know when or why.

I feel weird. I mean, you never wish death on anyone, but I can't say that I feel "bad" the way I do when I find out any other former classmate passes away. (I really hate being in my 40s!) It's not like he probably even remembered who I was or anything, but I will never forget the dark mark he left on me when I was 8 years old.

Does that make me a bad person? Actually, the more I think about it, (and the more I type this thread), the more I am inclined to light a candle for him in church this Sunday. He probably led a troubled life and perhaps he is finally at peace.

Anyway...just had to share.

That's too bad about the way you feel. But this troublemaker could of been a really dangerous person of society for all we know. It was probably his time. Don't stress about it. You don't owe him anything, especially if he made your life miserable as a kid. If it makes you feel better then light a candle, but this guy sounds like he was been a really really bad person so who knows.

You feel what you feel.

And how you feel can change the more you think about it...as you've noted.

I can totally understand you not feeling so sad that he passed. He hit you at school. That's your immediate reaction.

Now that you've had time to think about it, you're seeing beyond his wrongs against you when you two were younger. Time has a great way of putting things in perspective.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

Maytiana said:

PurpleJedi said:

So, I feel really weird about someone's passing...

When I was in 3rd grade, there was this kid that sort of "became" my friend but really wasn't. He was the class troublemaker and I was the new kid in school...short, skinny, and an easy target. He and his buddy would follow me home as "protection", although they're the only ones that ever really threatened me.

One day I asked the teacher to move my desk away from his, and he wound up retaliating with his fists. The one and only time that I've ever been "in a fight".

Anyway, I went to private school after that, and never saw or heard of him again. In 9th grade I switched back to public school and the first thing that I dreaded was facing him again. Fortunately he had been expelled from the district by then (or at least that's what I was told).

It's been what- 25 years? - since I've thought of this guy. TODAY a FB friend posted an R.I.P. with pictures of him. Apparently he's passed...don't know when or why.

I feel weird. I mean, you never wish death on anyone, but I can't say that I feel "bad" the way I do when I find out any other former classmate passes away. (I really hate being in my 40s!) It's not like he probably even remembered who I was or anything, but I will never forget the dark mark he left on me when I was 8 years old.

Does that make me a bad person? Actually, the more I think about it, (and the more I type this thread), the more I am inclined to light a candle for him in church this Sunday. He probably led a troubled life and perhaps he is finally at peace.

Anyway...just had to share.

That's too bad about the way you feel. But this troublemaker could of been a really dangerous person of society for all we know. It was probably his time. Don't stress about it. You don't owe him anything, especially if he made your life miserable as a kid. If it makes you feel better then light a candle, but this guy sounds like he was been a really really bad person so who knows.

Most of the bad kids I encountered during childhood ended up being bad adults and they're either dead or living really shitty lives. Sometimes Karma takes a long time but it does happen.

light the candle & give yourself a pat on the back 4 responding in a compassionate sweet way

DoffieParker said:

light the candle & give yourself a pat on the back 4 responding in a compassionate sweet way