Ok. Inspired by DesireeNeverminds beautiful tale of toiler water I decided to share my worse experience involving a public restroom:

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So one day I was walking home from the metro and I kinda felt something brewing inside of me… you know that feeling. But I didn’t think much of it at first. I thought that as usual I could make it back without a problem. Half way home I start feeling it more… and with each block I walked it got stronger and stronger. Then suddenly, I took as step and felt something inside try to make an exit and I start to panic, like ‘oh shit!’ (literally) I need to a bathroom NOW and I was still like 5 minutes away from my place.

So, now, I’m completely frightened because when I was in high school I had a previous instance where I nearly crapped myself and had to go in between some cars in complete daylight on a semi-busy street. So, I looked around to see where the closest bathroom would be and it happened to be at the University I was walking past. I didn’t know this area of the Uni that well so I could pinpoint where a bathroom might be, so I was like Im just gonna take a chance and I booked it (walking as fast as I could without making anything explode out of me). I made it into a side door, look around and start running to find a bathroom. After turning two corners and bumping and pushing people out of my way I see a sign for bathroom, push the door open, I notice (kinda) that the bathroom looks weird, but I don’t care, I open a stall, barely get my pants unbuckled and just as I was pulling down my pants it happened…

I don’t want to be too graphic, but just imagine you have a bucket of mud and you sling it everywhere like a Jackson Pollock painting… on the walls, the floor, the toilet, the toilet paper dispenser, my legs, my shoes… NOTHING was spared… On top of that, probably 50% of it remained either in or on my pants or dripping on my skin… It was an absolute nightmare…

I just stood there, dumbfounded and had no idea what to do… and then just a few seconds after the shit explosion I hear someone enter the bathroom. They get no more than a foot inside before they screamed, then yelled ‘OH MY GOD’ reeeeallly loud and ran out.

Oh yeah... that’s when I noticed I was in the WOMEN’s bathroom.

I tried my hardest to clean myself off with unsoiled toilet paper I was able to gather from the stall next to me, but it was to no avail. There was no way to lock the bathroom door, and there was nothing that I could hold it closed with… So I pulled up my pants, felt the horrible moistness of wet shit and just embraced it... I had no other choice.

So in the most nonchalant, nothing-going-on-with-me, face I could manage, I walked as fast as I could out the door. I made no eye contact with anyone. Although I could feel eyes and noses piercing my soul. I just walked as though I were invisible with my head down, smelling like death and clothes soaking in excrement… When I made it home, my landlord was there, but she just stared at me with huge eyes, but was too kind to say anything. I could have hung myself that day, I was so embarrassed.

[Edited 1/4/11 14:07pm]

SH*T happends!

Angelic1302 said:

SH*T happends!

You will laugh about it soon enough

omgoodness...

well, at least you made it to a bathroom; would have been/felt far worse had it happened in the street

How did you get home?

nevermind it keeps people in jobs "one mans scutter is another mans fish n chips"...

I know how you feel. Although I made it to the public bathroom in time (I was in a store), I missed the toilet. I was able to clean most of it up with paper towels. I used to date a guy who told me a similar story. He was walking home and just couldn't make it in time. He said this little boy and his mother were walking behind him when it happened, and the little boy burst out with, "Oh, Mommy! That man doo-dooed on hisself!" Of course my friend was mortified.

Sounds like a good time to walk through a car wash.

tinaz said:

How did you get home?

That was the longest walk ever... lol...

Shyra said:

I know how you feel. Although I made it to the public bathroom in time (I was in a store), I missed the toilet. I was able to clean most of it up with paper towels. I used to date a guy who told me a similar story. He was walking home and just couldn't make it in time. He said this little boy and his mother were walking behind him when it happened, and the little boy burst out with, "Oh, Mommy! That man doo-dooed on hisself!" Of course my friend was mortified.

Well, I'm glad im not the only one whose experienced something like this

And you are not the first or the last and I'm sure it was horrible but it will all be laughs later. Everybody has a horror story like this

or will