TV or print media show women as primary caregivers of children because they still are.

In my opinion it's up to each couple to decide how they wish to organize, work, and function as family . . . if it works for them, than it works. Ultimately if men think they deserve credit for being an involved parent, their children will tell them. "You only get out of it what you put into it." Some men have a hard time understanding that concept.

uPtoWnNY said:

JerseyKRS said:

like orger said, credit...absolutely. praise? hell no. just take care of what you created because you're supposed to.

You gotta give credit where credit's due That JerseyKRS knows what women want to hear

Number23 said:

In Valerie Solanos's S.C.U.M. (Society for Cutting Up Men) manifesto, she states: "the male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficient disease and males are emotional cripples." Solanos spent 3 years in jail after she shot Andy Warhol 3 times in 1968. She died in 1988. Andy went on to fool the world.

That's pure grade A hate right there

TD3 said:

TV or print media show women as primary caregivers of children because they still are.

In my opinion it's up to each couple to decide how they wish to organize, work, and function as family . . . if it works for them, than it works. Ultimately if men think they deserve credit for being an involved parent, their children will tell them. "You only get out of it what you put into it." Some men have a hard time understanding that concept.

therein lies the problem. too many women and too few men putting in the hard work. I do believe rearing brats is very hard work.

bboy87 said:

Number23 said:

In Valerie Solanos's S.C.U.M. (Society for Cutting Up Men) manifesto, she states: "the male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficient disease and males are emotional cripples." Solanos spent 3 years in jail after she shot Andy Warhol 3 times in 1968. She died in 1988. Andy went on to fool the world.

That's pure grade A hate right there

For real. Then again...if she was repeatedly sexually abused by her pops and beaten by her grandpa you could kind of see where her rage (and craziness) was born. She's tragic.

TD3 said:

"You only get out of it what you put into it." Some men have a hard time understanding that concept.

So do some women, but then it's automatically assumed that they're doing a good job just because they're doing it, or a better job than a man, or working harder at it.

.... I really should just stop coming back to this thread.

Cerebus said:

Number23 said:

She just had the rare gift of perfect clarity, like most extremists. some of these people torture animals to learn their limits, some torture conservative society.

Are you saying that you support her stance in this regard?

I'm hoping that was some sarcasm that didn't come across well/clearly..

PositivityNYC said:

Cerebus said:

Are you saying that you support her stance in this regard?

I'm hoping that was some sarcasm that didn't come across well/clearly..

I think you're right. Especially after I double checked the profile and remembered Number23 is a guy. Still not 100% sure, though. You never know....

Ouchy! I think my eyes got gauged out while i was sleep and got cotton stuffed down both sides of my throat...

I give men who take care of their children credit and praise. Only because it is so uncommon. I mean yeah, they should be doin' it but for some reason a lot don't. So any guy who shows the effort to be as involved in the parenting as the wife I truly commend.

Besides, a little praise never hurt anyone.

Cerebus I wanna hear your answer. I'm bored.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

If a man is going to slave himself into the grave to feed a bunch of mouths then YES!

The guy I'm dating is raising his 3 kids plus 1 of his ex's from a previous relationship cuz she decided that after 10 years of marriage to move across the country to "find herself." Almost every dude I've met lately is dealing with a scenario like this where the mothers up and left. They were already taking care of their kids but in situations like this they deserve a

orger said:

Cerebus said:

it's quiet out there

too quiet

vainandy said:

The only thing I give most men credit for is a good time for about 20 minutes. If they didn't have that dick between their legs, I'd probably be straight.

SCNDLS said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

If a man is going to slave himself into the grave to feed a bunch of mouths then YES!

The guy I'm dating is raising his 3 kids plus 1 of his ex's from a previous relationship cuz she decided that after 10 years of marriage to move across the country to "find herself." Almost every dude I've met lately is dealing with a scenario like this where the mothers up and left. They were already taking care of their kids but in situations like this they deserve a

girl u better than me. I aint tryna mess with no dude that got kids yet alone a dude with some baby momma out their roaming the netherlands lookin' for her spirit. How old are they? Sometimes women get fed up and do like that chick in WLGTDWI and be like " I hear you playin' the family maaaannn....go on kids go be wit daddy!"

Yep I can't be with no dude that got kids...

unless he got money...

and his kids live far away.

DesireeNevermind said:

SCNDLS said:

The guy I'm dating is raising his 3 kids plus 1 of his ex's from a previous relationship cuz she decided that after 10 years of marriage to move across the country to "find herself." Almost every dude I've met lately is dealing with a scenario like this where the mothers up and left. They were already taking care of their kids but in situations like this they deserve a

girl u better than me. I aint tryna mess with no dude that got kids yet alone a dude with some baby momma out their roaming the netherlands lookin' for her spirit. How old are they? Sometimes women get fed up and do like that chick in WLGTDWI and be like " I hear you playin' the family maaaannn....go on kids go be wit daddy!"

Yep I can't be with no dude that got kids...

unless he got money...

and his kids live far away.

Yes, he got money.

Yes, he lives in another state so I ain't got to deal with him or them on a daily basis. He comes here or I meet him somewhere else to kick it. But I'm sympathetic to his problems and challenges.

I love dating guys with kids cuz then they ain't looking at me to provide none cuz Lawd knows I don't know nuthin' bout birthin' no babies and want to keep it like that.

I kind of agree with Cerebus here. A mother's dedication to her child is never questioned. Credit is almost automatic.

I also agree with whoever it was that said BOTH deserve credit, provided they are taking care of their responsibilities.

As for praise, the only praise I care about in the parenting department is my daughter's. If someone else thinks you're a shitty parent but your child thinks you're the greatest thing on earth, the other person can fuck off.

Unless that person works for social services.

[Edited 9/29/10 18:23pm]

it's a shame that so many men ever walked away from their filial responsibilities in the first place, and even more of a shame that so many women let them.

FauxReal said:

I kind of agree with Cerebus here. A mother's dedication to her child is never questioned. Credit is almost automatic.

I also agree with whoever it was that said BOTH deserve credit, provided they are taking care of their responsibilities.

As for praise, the only praise I care about in the parenting department is my daughter's. If someone else thinks your a shitty parent but your child thinks you're the greatest thing on earth, the other person can fuck off.

Unless that person works for social services.

DesireeNevermind said:

taking care of their kids e.g. emotionally & financially. You know....credit for being involved fathers, attending school functions, attending games, helping the child with homework, handling yucky chores like diaper changing and cleaning up vomit/snotty noses, and taking the kid to and from school.

Or is that just the shit they ought to do? I heard a radio commentator saying that there's not enough credit given to fathers and that most family ads show women as the primary caregiver.

Discuss...

i haven't got kids and don't want them, but a lot of blokes tell me that it isn't dirty nappies and homework that makes men do a runner...it's that childbirth turns formerly beautiful and sexy women into cold, emasculating nags.

DesireeNevermind said:

TD3 said:

TV or print media show women as primary caregivers of children because they still are.

In my opinion it's up to each couple to decide how they wish to organize, work, and function as family . . . if it works for them, than it works. Ultimately if men think they deserve credit for being an involved parent, their children will tell them. "You only get out of it what you put into it." Some men have a hard time understanding that concept.

therein lies the problem. too many women and too few men putting in the hard work. I do believe rearing brats is very hard work.

Man, I must know a really rare breed of man because most guys I know are fathers and put in huge amounts of time with their kids and families.

FauxReal said:

As for praise, the only praise I care about in the parenting department is my daughter's. If someone else thinks you're a shitty parent but your child thinks you're the greatest thing on earth, the other person can fuck off.

Unless that person works for social services.

Agree and agree.

Wait, why do men not deserve praise, if women do, assuming the are as involved as the woman in their child's life? Also keeping in mind that if the woman is a stay at home mom and the man has to do all that is involved in providing (or most, even), there is just no possible way that the man could possibly have equal "real" time in that child's life.

Or am I not gettting what is being said here? This is entirely possible.

[Edited 9/29/10 20:33pm]

JerseyKRS said:

like orger said, credit...absolutely. praise? hell no. just take care of what you created because you're supposed to.

You & I... we really need to hang some day...

johnart said:

Wait, why do men not deserve praise, if women do, assuming the are as involved as the woman in their child's life? Also keeping in mind that if the woman is a stay at home mom and the man has to do all that is involved in providing (or most, even), there is just no possible way that the man could possibly have equal "real" time in that child's life.

Or am I not gettting what is being said here? This is entirely possible.

[Edited 9/29/10 20:33pm]

Why should either parent receive praise?

JustErin said:

johnart said:

Wait, why do men not deserve praise, if women do, assuming the are as involved as the woman in their child's life? Also keeping in mind that if the woman is a stay at home mom and the man has to do all that is involved in providing (or most, even), there is just no possible way that the man could possibly have equal "real" time in that child's life.

Or am I not gettting what is being said here? This is entirely possible.

[Edited 9/29/10 20:33pm]

Why should either parent receive praise?

Oh no, either parent I can get. I was looking at it as women should get praise but men no.

Cerebus said:

TD3 said:

"You only get out of it what you put into it." Some men have a hard time understanding that concept.

So do some women, but then it's automatically assumed that they're doing a good job just because they're doing it, or a better job than a man, or working harder at it.

.... I really should just stop coming back to this thread.

Cerebus you can and should give your opinion; if I or others can't respect we may differ or view things differently than that's our problem.

For me the question isn't about assuming anything, just getting the job done. As I said before your children know who's done what, they know who's been there for them, and who hasn't. Ultimately the only critic a parent should be worried about are kids they've given birth to. As my husband said, "The men acting the biggest fools about President Obama remarks two year ago on Father's Day were the ones who haven't provided or taken care of for their children". I tend to agree.

As Chris Rock said . . . .

Yeah, well, I take care of my kids.' You're supposed to, you dumb motherfucker. Whaddya want? A cookie?

johnart said:

JustErin said:

Why should either parent receive praise?

Oh no, either parent I can get. I was looking at it as women should get praise but men no.

I don't get why anyone should be praised for doing what they are supposed to be doing. I guess if one parent is struggling because the other is MIA or not doing much to help, I can give them credit for managing on their own.

JustErin said:

johnart said:

Oh no, either parent I can get. I was looking at it as women should get praise but men no.

I don't get why anyone should be praised for doing what they are supposed to be doing. I guess if one parent is struggling because the other is MIA or not doing much to help, I can give them credit for managing on their own.

That's what my mom did, so agreed, completely.

Of course!

Okay...this reminds me of something way back in the day when I was dating. As a teen, I didn't date guys who had kids or who smoked. Absolutely No exceptions. What kills me is that at the time, it wasn't unusual for teen guys to BRAG that they had no children. They thought this made them a catch and I felt like they didn't deserve shit credit for it...... I dont reward men for the obvious basics.

Just like guys taking care of their children...its a freakin basic. You are supposed to do it. I am not going to do backflips and sing your praises because you changed a diaper and warmed some milk in a bottle that I sterilized and refrigerated because I cannot trust your ass to do it properly. Hell...cat owners almost do the same thing.

Now....if you are doing more than bare minimum, regardless of your gender, I will give you kudos....