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Reply #60 posted 12/31/09 7:55am

johnart

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Genesia said:

I've got a question for you: why did you waste three hours on this knob?

1) Always arrange to meet on neutral ground and have your own transportation. (Do not let him know where or what your transportation is or your home address.)

2) Make the first date something of very limited duration. Coffee, for example. That doesn't last more than an hour unless you want it to.

3) Arrange an out. Have a friend call you at a pre-ordained time. If the date's going badly, feign an emergency. If it's going well, tell them what a wonderful time you're having and that you'll call them tomorrow.

4) If someone can't even be bothered to make an effort on a first date, he will never, ever make an effort in a full-fledged relationship.

Chalk this one up to experience.


This post is so Nightline/48 HRS. Love:Catch a Predator Style.
[Edited 12/31/09 7:57am]
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Reply #61 posted 12/31/09 7:56am

JustErin

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ConsciousContact said:

JustErin said:



Yes, I do. And no it's not tough to be around because I only associate myself with people who are themselves all the time and I love their strengths and faults so it’s no big deal.


Fair enough. I don t believe anyone s themself all the time.


That's cool. I do, though.
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Reply #62 posted 12/31/09 7:57am

Imago

CarrieMpls said:

Imago said:




I was being genuine with you neutral

Although, I did pretend that I wanted coffee because I didn't know anything about wine...
But by then you already knew that I once thought a lime was an unripe lemon.
So I had so much to lose in the area of respect. SOOOOO much to lose.


falloff

I was genuine too. I even told you when my feet were bleeding.

Oh sure.

First date, you're all pretty and polite, and well manored.

Then when I fly up to see you in Miniapolis, there's chains and dog collars-for-people and domination pictures in your bathroom, and you're smoking with your hair wet in front of me.
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Reply #63 posted 12/31/09 8:02am

vainandy

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Most definately and I want the other person to be dressed to. It makes it more fun while you're undressing them later. lol
Andy is a four letter word.
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Reply #64 posted 12/31/09 8:03am

Imago

vainandy said:

Most definately and I want the other person to be dressed to. It makes it more fun while you're undressing them later. lol


That was pretty tame for you. I saw your name on this thread and I immediately had to click on it cause I thought it would end up being about hairy dicks. falloff
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Reply #65 posted 12/31/09 9:39am

dag

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Genesia said:

I've got a question for you: why did you waste three hours on this knob?

1) Always arrange to meet on neutral ground and have your own transportation. (Do not let him know where or what your transportation is or your home address.)

2) Make the first date something of very limited duration. Coffee, for example. That doesn't last more than an hour unless you want it to.

3) Arrange an out. Have a friend call you at a pre-ordained time. If the date's going badly, feign an emergency. If it's going well, tell them what a wonderful time you're having and that you'll call them tomorrow.

4) If someone can't even be bothered to make an effort on a first date, he will never, ever make an effort in a full-fledged relationship.

Chalk this one up to experience.

I met points number 1 and 4. As for point 3, I didn´t have a friend to call me, but I had an excuse to leave prepared. lol
As for point 2. that was not set completely cause the trouble was that he saw my profile on the net, wrote me, wanted to meet me, looked kinda nice, so I agreed, but he lived far away and I didn´t feel like travelling anywhere to meet him. He agreed to come over. The journey took him 4 hours, so coming here and back took him 8 hours, so I didn´t wanna leave too early, but I see your point, you´re right.

I think you both have a point, but I think it's the distinction between putting your best face forward versus being pure phony and two-faced.

A first date is a lot like a job interview. You dress just a little bit better than you expect to the majority of the time, you're on your best behavior and you try to impress just a little bit, while remaining honest. You don't lie to get a job anymore than you should lie to get a date. None of that is "phony" to me.

I agree with this statement the most.
I would hate someone putting on a show to impress me. I´d rather that person to be themselves, too. But I think even you, JustErin, would agree that you dress differently for different occasions, don´t you? Are you trying to tell me that you dress the same lying around watching TV as you do when going to a theatre or a party? Of course, you don´t. You may be yourself, but you still adjust to the situation, right? Including a date?
"When Michael Jackson is just singing and dancing, you just think this is an astonishing talent. And he has had this astounding talent all his life, but we want him to be floored as well. We really don´t like the idea that he could have it all."
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Reply #66 posted 12/31/09 10:10am

novabrkr

There's of course a difference between how you dress up in public and how you dress up at home.

I don't exactly walk around in public wearing only a t-shirt with no pants, which is how I'm "dressed up" right now, btw.
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Reply #67 posted 12/31/09 10:34am

nurseV

First impression means alot
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Reply #68 posted 12/31/09 2:04pm

IDontBelieveYo
uHeardMe

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johnart said:

Genesia said:

I've got a question for you: why did you waste three hours on this knob?

1) Always arrange to meet on neutral ground and have your own transportation. (Do not let him know where or what your transportation is or your home address.)

2) Make the first date something of very limited duration. Coffee, for example. That doesn't last more than an hour unless you want it to.

3) Arrange an out. Have a friend call you at a pre-ordained time. If the date's going badly, feign an emergency. If it's going well, tell them what a wonderful time you're having and that you'll call them tomorrow.

4) If someone can't even be bothered to make an effort on a first date, he will never, ever make an effort in a full-fledged relationship.

Chalk this one up to experience.



This post is so Nightline/48 HRS. Love:Catch a Predator Style.
[Edited 12/31/09 7:57am]


I also find it useful to know how to operate the ringer of my phone whilst it's in my pocket. Then, if the date is going badly, I can fake a phone call from work/babysitter etc which gives me a polite excuse to get the F out of there asap. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem that easy to do on the iPhone, so I'll probably need to go through all the rigmarole of carrying an auxillary phone just so I'm able to call the main phone.

However, I did once get rumbled when I was having one of these "conversations" and the phone rang for real when I was speaking into it. Busted!!! doh!
Susan - turn the guitar up a little bit....
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Reply #69 posted 12/31/09 2:12pm

IDontBelieveYo
uHeardMe

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nyse said:

shit... I dress up nyse nyse all the time?


yeahthat

"...'cos every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man"
Susan - turn the guitar up a little bit....
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Reply #70 posted 12/31/09 2:12pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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JustErin said:

Imago said:




Oh I'm very much myself when I'm with my dates lol
It's not like putting on a batman custom and disguising our voices. lol


It's just not knowing much about the person's background (perhaps they don't like to curse. Perhaps they're very sensitive about certain subjects, etc.). And if someone doesn't like these things, it's really not that much of an effort for me to curb my cursing and other things to accomodate that. All relationships start with respect. I don't think showing a little initially correlates strongly to being 'fake'.


is to 'not' edit
[Edited 12/31/09 7:06am]



Why do you not see it as fake when you're practicing restraint? I really wouldn't want to even bother with someone who can't deal with who I really am.


This is SUCH the best policy nod I expose myself immediately that way if someone can't handle that I'm a crazy witch, well then I gotsta move on arrow lol
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #71 posted 12/31/09 6:40pm

JustErin

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dag said:

Genesia said:

I've got a question for you: why did you waste three hours on this knob?

1) Always arrange to meet on neutral ground and have your own transportation. (Do not let him know where or what your transportation is or your home address.)

2) Make the first date something of very limited duration. Coffee, for example. That doesn't last more than an hour unless you want it to.

3) Arrange an out. Have a friend call you at a pre-ordained time. If the date's going badly, feign an emergency. If it's going well, tell them what a wonderful time you're having and that you'll call them tomorrow.

4) If someone can't even be bothered to make an effort on a first date, he will never, ever make an effort in a full-fledged relationship.

Chalk this one up to experience.

I met points number 1 and 4. As for point 3, I didn´t have a friend to call me, but I had an excuse to leave prepared. lol
As for point 2. that was not set completely cause the trouble was that he saw my profile on the net, wrote me, wanted to meet me, looked kinda nice, so I agreed, but he lived far away and I didn´t feel like travelling anywhere to meet him. He agreed to come over. The journey took him 4 hours, so coming here and back took him 8 hours, so I didn´t wanna leave too early, but I see your point, you´re right.

I think you both have a point, but I think it's the distinction between putting your best face forward versus being pure phony and two-faced.

A first date is a lot like a job interview. You dress just a little bit better than you expect to the majority of the time, you're on your best behavior and you try to impress just a little bit, while remaining honest. You don't lie to get a job anymore than you should lie to get a date. None of that is "phony" to me.

I agree with this statement the most.
I would hate someone putting on a show to impress me. I´d rather that person to be themselves, too. But I think even you, JustErin, would agree that you dress differently for different occasions, don´t you? Are you trying to tell me that you dress the same lying around watching TV as you do when going to a theatre or a party? Of course, you don´t. You may be yourself, but you still adjust to the situation, right? Including a date?


I really don't see what dressing for different occasions has to do what with I said, but ok.
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Reply #72 posted 12/31/09 6:45pm

Fauxie

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Genesia said:

I've got a question for you: why did you waste three hours on this knob?

1) Always arrange to meet on neutral ground and have your own transportation. (Do not let him know where or what your transportation is or your home address.)

2) Make the first date something of very limited duration. Coffee, for example. That doesn't last more than an hour unless you want it to.

3) Arrange an out. Have a friend call you at a pre-ordained time. If the date's going badly, feign an emergency. If it's going well, tell them what a wonderful time you're having and that you'll call them tomorrow.

4) If someone can't even be bothered to make an effort on a first date, he will never, ever make an effort in a full-fledged relationship.

Chalk this one up to experience.


Or don't do blind dates. smile
MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!!
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Reply #73 posted 12/31/09 6:50pm

Fauxie

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JustErin said:

roodboi said:



and there's absolutely no reason people can't be themselves and make a good impression...which makes all the silly posturing unnecessary and usually transparent...


Of course.

If I even catch a sniff of someone really trying to impress me...I'm gone. Just be yourself, that's all I ever ask for...and if you're the tye of person who really is all about fawning all over someone else...ugh, I'm not interested.


I love you mushy org-wise
MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!!
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Reply #74 posted 12/31/09 6:53pm

Fauxie

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Imago said:

JustErin said:



I'm a pretty good judge of character and can generally see right through people but sure, you don't know right away...but you will eventually and then you realize that it was all about trying to make a good first impression and not about being who they really are.



Oh I'm very much myself when I'm with my dates lol
It's not like putting on a batman custom and disguising our voices. lol


It's just not knowing much about the person's background (perhaps they don't like to curse. Perhaps they're very sensitive about certain subjects, etc.). And if someone doesn't like these things, it's really not that much of an effort for me to curb my cursing and other things to accomodate that. All relationships start with respect. I don't think showing a little initially correlates strongly to being 'fake'.


is to 'not' edit
[Edited 12/31/09 7:06am]


At what point do you usually throw in some Prince falsetto or a Rosie Gaines impression? smile
MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!!
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Reply #75 posted 12/31/09 6:56pm

Fauxie

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ConsciousContact said:

JustErin said:



Yes, I do. And no it's not tough to be around because I only associate myself with people who are themselves all the time and I love their strengths and faults so it’s no big deal.


Fair enough. I don t believe anyone s themself all the time.


I'm not sure who else they could be. Who are they when they're putting on a so-called 'act'? Isn't that just being themselves, someone who puts on an act for a date? Surely it's as much their real self as anything else about them. Seems Erin just prefers the company of people who don't have that as part of their personality.
MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!!
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Reply #76 posted 12/31/09 7:02pm

whistle

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i'm stating the obvious here, but you can't expect someone who goes by the name 'JustErin' to be interested in putting on airs, can you?
everyone's a fruit & nut case
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Reply #77 posted 12/31/09 7:14pm

JustErin

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Fauxie said:

JustErin said:



Of course.

If I even catch a sniff of someone really trying to impress me...I'm gone. Just be yourself, that's all I ever ask for...and if you're the tye of person who really is all about fawning all over someone else...ugh, I'm not interested.


I love you mushy org-wise


Choke me slowly and then fastly.
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Reply #78 posted 12/31/09 7:15pm

JustErin

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whistle said:

i'm stating the obvious here, but you can't expect someone who goes by the name 'JustErin' to be interested in putting on airs, can you?


Or maybe I am not very creative.
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Reply #79 posted 12/31/09 7:17pm

whistle

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JustErin said:

whistle said:

i'm stating the obvious here, but you can't expect someone who goes by the name 'JustErin' to be interested in putting on airs, can you?


Or maybe I am not very creative.


but then there's your sig...
everyone's a fruit & nut case
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Reply #80 posted 12/31/09 7:20pm

JustErin

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whistle said:

JustErin said:



Or maybe I am not very creative.


but then there's your sig...


Hahaha...true.
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Reply #81 posted 12/31/09 7:23pm

Fauxie

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whistle said:

JustErin said:



Or maybe I am not very creative.


but then there's your sig...


It's an act. smile
MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!!
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Reply #82 posted 12/31/09 7:24pm

Fauxie

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JustErin said:

Fauxie said:



I love you mushy org-wise


Choke me slowly and then fastly.


You'll take what you're given. smile
MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!!
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Reply #83 posted 12/31/09 7:26pm

JustErin

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Fauxie said:

whistle said:



but then there's your sig...


It's an act. smile


lol

It's actually just me trying to convince myself that I really am not dumb...which after today, there is no denying that I clearly am.
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Reply #84 posted 12/31/09 7:27pm

whistle

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JustErin said:

Fauxie said:



It's an act. smile


lol

It's actually just me trying to convince myself that I really am not dumb...which after today, there is no denying that I clearly am.


what is about today that removes all doubt?

(um, i don't mean that the way it sounds.)
everyone's a fruit & nut case
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Reply #85 posted 12/31/09 7:34pm

JustErin

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whistle said:

JustErin said:



lol

It's actually just me trying to convince myself that I really am not dumb...which after today, there is no denying that I clearly am.


what is about today that removes all doubt?

(um, i don't mean that the way it sounds.)


My latest tweet explains it all. sad

"Hi, I totally just bought this car and seeing as I am an idiot I put washer fluid in the coolant container. Um, is that bad, Mr Car Guy?"
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Reply #86 posted 12/31/09 7:35pm

Fauxie

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JustErin said:

whistle said:



what is about today that removes all doubt?

(um, i don't mean that the way it sounds.)


My latest tweet explains it all. sad

"Hi, I totally just bought this car and seeing as I am an idiot I put washer fluid in the coolant container. Um, is that bad, Mr Car Guy?"


lol
MY COUSIN WORKS IN A PHARMACY AND SHE SAID THEY ENEMA'D PRANCE INTO OBLIVION WITH FENTONILS!!
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Reply #87 posted 12/31/09 7:41pm

JustErin

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Fauxie said:

JustErin said:



My latest tweet explains it all. sad

"Hi, I totally just bought this car and seeing as I am an idiot I put washer fluid in the coolant container. Um, is that bad, Mr Car Guy?"


lol


That is exactly what I said to the dude. At least I realized that I did it right away and went to Canadian Tire right away.

Apparently, it's no big deal.
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Reply #88 posted 12/31/09 7:59pm

BlackAdder7

zaza said:

dag said:

Do you dress up for a date? I just got back from a blind date totally disgusted. The guy looked as if he was going on some trip to the woods to sleep under a tent, like a tramp or something. And the stupidities I had to listen to for three hours are not even worth talking about. What a waste of time.
[Edited 12/28/09 9:24am]

I'm so sorry about your date hug

One rule claims: true man has to stink even on a photograph lol I guess he was TRUE man lol


LOL...zaza, I saw the words Czech man and thought of you immediately!
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Reply #89 posted 12/31/09 9:33pm

tackam

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You know, I'm not at ALL about being fake with people, but I do make a real effort to make a first date into a good experience for the other person, no matter what I think of them. Dating is hard. Even if somebody doesn't really dig me, if they're taking a chance on me, I want them to have a pleasant evening. I try not to leave people with horror stories that they'll go post on the internet. mr.green

That starts with being up-front before we go out. I'm a fat chick. I have a potty mouth. I'm a liberal atheist, and not shy about it. Nobody goes out with me without knowing these things in advance, basically -- no truly blind dates.

Now that I think about it, if I don't think somebody is right for me, I'll go out of my way even more to make it a pleasant experience. Doesn't matter if they know the real me, cuz the real me doesn't plan to see them again! Might as well have a nice time. lol
"What's 'non-sequitur' mean? Do I look it up in a Fag-to-English dictionary?"
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