I'm fascinated by communication lately.

What is the most difficult thing you've had to communicate? How did you communicate it? Or do you tend to not communicate when something is difficult? And what are the repercussions of not communicating?

SAY IT and get it out in the open
truely it is the best thing

Telling our children about their Father's cancer - THAT was hard

Yes we told them ~ I can not imagine not

In a calm manner with factual info and possible outcomes surrounding our choice of treatment

It SUCKED to have to inform them of something that a parent knows will cause them tremendous fear

yeah ...

Another question: Is communicating difficult things through email the sissy route? Or is it best to just go with whatever means of communication you're comfortable with, as long as it's said?

heartbeatocean said:

TONS of misunderstanding can come from written words

no eye contact
no voice inflections / tones


yeah -

Mach said:

that is true. I had a falling out with a teacher because of email. He completely misread something I wrote, mistook my tone as accusatory and upset when I was just trying to be informative and helpful. Then he responded in an email in a completely offensive way. It ruined our relationship and never would have happened if we weren't communicating through email.

no more stories out there about communicating difficult things?

heartbeatocean said:

it's happened to me before, words on a page totally misread and no amount of explanation (read: backpedalling, as it was interpreted) did any good

heartbeatocean said:

I've never had to, not yet anyway

Well I've found that communication face-to-face with eye contact is the best form. As far as other forms like telephone, text messaging and as you have stated, email, are still forms of communication but its more indirect than anything. That's why its easy for people to take what you say the wrong way when you communicate in those forms. It depends on the information that you are communicating and the importance of it. It is possible to misread someone's emotions and where they are coming from by reading an email or even a hand written letter. It's really no one's fault, its just something that happens.
[Edited 11/9/09 18:41pm]

"communication is the key to life" TLC

I say what I mean and I mean what I say!
(which doesn't mean it gets understood properly though )

ZombieKitten said:

but your post on the other thread implied that communicating is not always easy for you

my goal this week is to communicate more, and more honestly, to more people, and quicker. just to practice

This decade, I turned into an email, msn, facebook person and less of a phone person. A few times when I wrote notes for work, someone thought I was being rude and demanding, but I wasn't. I was just doing what I was asked to do. I've become a phone person again though.

heartbeatocean said:

which thread?
[Edited 11/10/09 15:06pm]

ZombieKitten said:

On the "save me from myself, oh thou, org therapists" thread

and I quote:

I'm so guarded and afraid of forming an opinion being without careful thought, I rarely say what I think without being asked. - ZombieKitten

heartbeatocean said:

off the cuff communication I have trouble with, if pressured for an instant opinion

yes, that really puts me on the spot I need time!!! more time!!!



but like being the bearer of bad news, firing someone, pointing out someone's mistake, critiquing etc, never had to do it!

ZombieKitten said:

which for some reason I interpreted your question to be about
and now I don't know why reading it again

No holds barred.

ZombieKitten said:

I guess my intent is more to do with relationships with people in your life and having to express emotions that put you in a vulnerable spot. For example, in my life right now, there are things that could be said to my father, my uncle, a teacher I had, and to a couple of guys I like which are uncomfortable and difficult. If I spoke out, I'd feel a sense of release. There are probably others...friendships that have drifted away, things that bothered me that they did. It's about having difficult but important conversations with people. So that you can live your true self fully in the world, rather than being hidden away, repressed and misrepresented.

I suppose this thread is intended for shy people.

Good questions and very timely,considering email debates. IMO face-to-face is the best form of communication, it helps to eliminate misunderstandings; this is no guarantee though.

I've been caught in the email thing where the written word was interpreted much differently than the intent; although the damage was not irrepairable, it was a hassle.

Without verbal communication its really hard to know from where the person is coming; you also have the option of asking for clarity at that moment, where written communication may completely end the conversation with no option for discussion.

Personally, I am not a "hint" person. I'm more to the point. In fact, I don't like "hints" -- too much left open for interpretation, misunderstanding, etc.

I'll admit, sometimes I avoid the difficult conversations although I'm getting better at it; I finally figured out that its a "yes or a no" and either way its better to have an answer.


2manyspelling0s
[Edited 11/10/09 22:12pm]

heartbeatocean said:

ahhhhh, OK

I don't think I'm too bad with stuff like that not to my immediate family and closest friends anyway.

My difficulties lie in the "what do YOU think?" category. I usually need to think about stuff overnight before I answer, or I'm afraid I will say the wrong thing.