My granny (my maternal granny) lives in her own apartment which has people who look after the seniors.

Since we live far away and my mother cannot be with her mother she had previously arranged and granted power of attorney to a couple who have taken extremely good care of my granny.

About 2 weeks ago she fell. She's fallen once before. She was taken by ambulance to the hospital. She did not want to be there but agreed to be checked out. The doctor decided to keep her over the weekend as she still has a her chest infection. She's on meds for that. She also has to use hearing aids. My mother received news from the couple that her mother seemed to be getting better and the hospital was going to release her.

Then my mother was notified by the couple that now her mother refuses to eat or drink and just mostly sleeps. The hospital tried intervenous feeding but my granny removed it from her arm. Now all they can do is give her liquid with vitamin supplements. The hospital will not force feed her.

My mother has phoned and spoken with her mother. My granny told her "Beryl lives in the upstairs apartment and someone is with her and I don't know who it is" - now that's her daughter, my mothers sister who passed away back in 2002.

I told my mother sometimes when a person is dying they see or get visited by those that have passed on.

My parents are going to Austria for a 9 day cruise this weekend and were wondering whether to cancel their trip just in case. But the couple who act on my mothers behalf told her to go ahead and take the trip. My mother said that she's afraid that her mother may pass on while they are on vacation.

My mother told me that she believes her mother had a premonition. My granny gave her, her engagement ring to have. That she's been giving things away.

She's 94 years old. She had her birthday on June 10. I've been crying off and on. I don't want my fave granny to pass away. One part of me does not want that and the other part of me knows she will be ok when she does.

Even tho i dont know u yet since im new I hope u will accept a big hug and i wish ur family peace thru all of this. Its never easy to see ur grandparents decline. Im so sorry.
[Edited 6/24/09 11:00am]

oh no honey. It's hard to even think about letting go, let alone letting it happen. I think she should probably delay the trip. My grandmother saw her mother at a time when she was very sick. Her mother died decades ago. This made me realize that time with her is precious.

I hope your mom can help her and that she does not just give up living.

Nothing can ever prepare you when a loved one passes on , my grandmother died 4 years ago and I still miss her every single day . Just cherish every moment you have together

luv4u said:

No truer words were ever spoken. Shortly before both of my parents passed away, they both started talking about "visitors" or someone was with them, that we had never heard of. My Mom insisted that she needed to go greet our company in the living room, no one was in our living room of course, and she had not gotten out of bed in a month. But the day before she passed, she insisted that she needed to go greet our guests in the living room.


Best wishes to your grandmother.

I'm so sorry Luv

to your mom and Granny

Thank you all.

Your comforting words mean a lot to me

luv4u said:

I now believe this to be true. Months before my uncle passed,he was always seeing things,and talking to someone that nobody else could see. My Mom thought it was part of the alzheimers,but I'm not so sure now.

My prayers are with you Luv...

Perhaps your mom should follow her first thought and postpone her trip. God forbid something should happen while she's away...then she might beat herself up with guilt on top of losing her mother.

My grandmother was 99 and had been very ill for a couple of months. One day she simply told my mom "goodbye". Of course my mother freaked out and begged her not to give up. She looked at my mom, smiled and said, "I'm tired". She was gone within the week.

It's hard to take the possibility of losing someone...the only thing I can suggest is get in as much quality time as you can. My heart goes out to you guys.

Luv, this is only my opinion but your parents should CANCEL the trip and go be with her at this time. The reason I say this is, my grandmother did this when my mother and I were away on vacation. She was in a nursing home,she had been in one for a few months. She was stable and not in any danger when we left. She knew we were going on vacation. We went to visit her the night before we left for vacation. The day after we left she stopped eating, she made the decision to end her life. Our family friend had power of attorney, but he didn't call and tell us that she did this. My grandmother was put into hospice for the last 3 days of her life and died with no one there except a woman from hospice. We DIDN'T know any of this was going on!! Our family friend called us once she passed on. It was very traumatic especially for my mother and my mother feels as though she has no closure. Had we have known that she decided not to eat we would have gone right back home and been with her!

Someone from your family should be with her now.

DigMeNow said:

I want to beat that family friend's ass. Sorry, I hate this kind of demented inconsideration.

DigMeNow said:

i disagree last year when my grandmother died two of my cousins were out of the country and asked whether they should come back or not. My mom, her surviving brother and sister sat down talked and agree that Grandma would have liked them to enjoy their trip more than to come home.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Supa, he made a poor decision. In his defense he said that the nursing home said that some people remain in hospice up to a month or two. I don't know if that is correct but he said he didn't think it was that serious. He was a good man, kind to all he knew. He was like a father to me as well,since the day I was born. I forgave him for his decision and I also wondered if my grandmother told him not to contact us. She could be demanding in some ways. My mother and I thought that maybe my grandmother just didn't want us to go through seeing her death.

About a month after my grandmother passed away, our friend became very ill. I am sure that the death of my grandmother effected him terribly. They were best friends for forty plus years. He had to go into a nursing home and he was in there for about two months. He had surgery for a feeding tube to be inserted. Two days after that he died in the hospital. My mother and I were there for him during all of that. His family lived about 2 hours away. The hospital called them in during the last week of his life. He didn't want them around,as he lived his life alone. He was very confused the last week and I think he had several small strokes. He left detailed cards of who to contact and what to do in case of his death. We did what he asked.

DigMeNow said:

Ok, it's just that I know sickos who would have done that strictly out of demented inconsideration I'm sorry for your loss and I'm glad that you were able to be there to shepherd this man to his place of peace

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[Edited 6/25/09 11:46am]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Thank you

Luv, I agree with the others about your mom's trip. Sounds like your grandma is preparing, and with the failure to thrive and seeing people on the other side...the preparations are almost in place.

Know this, that in seeing others, there will be people to welcome her, and when your time comes, people to welcome you! I know its hard, but what a full life. (cliche, too).

When ill people see and talk to or mention loved ones that have already passed on it means they are ready to follow. You and your loved ones should stay close.

I hope you all will be alright.

I didn't know until just now ..