I feel very evil for this but....

Halloween night I was going to go out but didn't have my ID so I couldn't get into the club I was going to go to. Went home instead and stopped in Long Beach where the bar owners know me. Stayed a couple hours and then headed home.

On the way home I rested my eyes and overshot my stop by 6 stops. So I got off the bus and started walking home from there. As I was walking I saw a cat in the gutter walking along and I called to him and he was startled and started to run off but I just bent down and called him with my hand outstretched. He came back and started rubbing his face on the curb.

I was across the street from a liquor store and decided to go and buy a can of cat food for him. So I waited for a car to pass and started across the street. I saw some other cars approaching and I turned to look back and the kitty was coming across the street to follow me. I was standing there freaking out because the car was coming fast up on the cat and he was going to run right into its path!!! At the last minute he ran back towards the sidewalk and I heaved a sigh of relief.

So I went to the store and bought a can of food and when I came back out I saw something in the street that was closest to the sidewalk I was approaching. It was that kitty It ended up following me like it originally wanted to and it got hit by a car. I felt so fucked up! I didn't think to look back though because I thought he had been chased back to the other sidewalk by the car and that he would be too afraid to be in the street again.

I couldn't believe it. I felt like I led it to its death. But I SO meant well because I was going to feed him! I bent over and saw his eye move very very slightly and then watched his stomach to see if he was breathing and I didn't see any signs of it. So I was standing in the street and cars were coming and swerving around me and I just didn't want him getting run over again.

But then I did something I feel so fucked up over and horrible about and I can't stop thinking about it. I was going to pick him up with a plastic bag or something but then I thought what if he is still alive and he responds. What am I going to do!?! He couldn't still be alive but the thought that I would move him and then he would wake up was too much for me to take.

I didn't have a car, It's 2 in the morning, who do I call, where do I put him? So I left him there.

I know this story isn't going to go over well with animal lovers but I do feel like he was already dead and I was so upset about what happened I kind of shut down. I panicked more or less. I feel so horrible and wish that I had moved him at least to the sidewalk. All the variables of the night led me to that cat and my loving gesture ended up with him dead. I hate this.


[Edited 11/3/08 11:19am]

awww Supa

Supa, your good intentions were there. Don't feel bad.

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Well considering that I have special powers, why the hell didn't I know this was going to happen??!!! I feel so messed up because I feel like I should have known or thought to make sure he didn't come across the street. I feel sooooo sad

the soul doesn't care for the body after it's left so don't worry about not moving it. plus it could have had god knows what and it could have bit you with it's dying breath. Intention means alot and yours were purely out of love for the cat's needs not for it to runout into the street(where it was already roaming) behind you and get hit.

I can understand how you feel, but it was not your fault. I am so sorry .

I'm sorry, hon. That's an awful position to be in. You had the best of intentions so please don't beat yourself up over this.

Wow. Honey, you're heart was in the right place.

Dude...you tried. That's more than most people in this day and age would have done

Its just a test honey, and you did the right thing, even if it feels bad now. Sometimes the best of intentions hurt ourselves and others, you know that. Don't worry about it, you did nothing wrong and the kitty knows that

I remember in High School one morning I ran over a squirrel.
I looked back in the rear view mirror after having let out a high pitched howl, and saw one little leg fluttering away on the road like a little fan.

I couldn't think straight. I panicked, turned the car around and "finished" him off so he wouldn't have to suffer long.


It still haunts me if I did the right thing.

Oh, sweetie, I feel terrible for you! But u know that your heart was in the right place. The kitty probably died instantaneously and didn't suffer. Try to take solace in that.

wow, that's a real bummer... you've got a big heart Supa but I'm sorry to hear things went down like this...

Awww!! Its ok

as many as you may need:

orgNote...

Awww Sweetie....You have such a big heart!!! I am sorry that happened to you, and that you are feeling so bad. HUGE hugs to you hun!!!

ohhh! isn't it terrible! a month or so back I posted a similar thread about how I saw this cat and a car and I just knew...so I tried to stop it but...it happened anyway...right next to me...and I just kept walking cause I knew it was dying and I couldn't bear to stop and watch it die....ugh! although someone told me later it got up and ran off....I still know the thing ran off and died. that's why I went as the angel of death for halloween.
sorry sup...think of it this way...that lil kitty was gonna get run ovr no matter what...and all you did was be nice and friendly to him just b4 he went. you putty a lil kitty smile on his lil kitty face.

I can't believe you had to meet him in his ninth life


Didn't you try cardiopulmonary resuscitation?

You meant well

PANDURITO said:

...hrmmm...

...tsss....

.....krghhh....

...buahahahahaa!!!

Don't beat yourself up. It was the cat's time to go, and you so happened to be there, it is not your fault. It would have died whether you were there or not, but I do understand the feeling of guilt. You can't let it bring you down, though. The cat is in a better place

outta my cave
got somtin 2 do
gota give a big ass
hug 2 u

richard now dude
please dont be blue
heres a big hug from
me 2 u

some times life throws darts like
kitchen knives
some say kitty cats have
8 more lives

dont despair and
get all spastic
ya shoulda done the laura palmer n
wrapped the kitty in plastic


outa the abyss
i got somtin 2 say
sometimes you gotta let let
sleepin cats lay

richard now dude
please dont be blue
heres a big hug from
me 2 u




.
[Edited 11/3/08 13:09pm]

Damn... you really don't do good with do you? You are so sweet, the kitty knew it and gladly followed you, even to its death, I hope it didn't suffer long.

So bittersweet. Poor poor .

You only tried to do the right thing. I hope you'll feel better soon.

shausler said:

sorry, but that is funny and brilliant.

dawntreader said:

dude, you did right.