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I laughed so hard on the INSIDE, but could not show it on the OUTSIDE (my spiritual Journey gone terribly wrong) mods, this is not really a religious thread. Actually, it may seem a bit blasphemous
Anyways, I've started meditating again, and my mind whenever I start off after a lull always races with all manner of idol thoughts that are not very helpful to my quest. So I decided to rejoin a Kadampa Buddhist meditation class hosted twice a week by the local Kadampa Buddhist chapter here in the Tampa bay area. To explain my experience to you, I walk into a small room filled with what are pretty much urbanites from all walks of life: old, young, black, white, Asian, male, female, straight and gay. The only thing most have in common is that they are probably urbanites who own MACS, hang out at Starbucks, and worship Jeanine Garafalo. The room is normally dimly lit to set the mood for the meditation classes, and sometimes, music is playing, though not always, because we seldom get noise pollution from street. So anyways, Kelsang Zogden is walking us through a talk on compassion and reliance on others for support to start off the guided meditation focusing on compassion. Then after 15 minutes or so on discussing it, we start the meditation portion. Here's where this shit gets funny. Kelsang Zogden guides us through a body-lightening meditation--this is a guided meditation that sometimes involves picturing yourself going down a spiral starcase to in a well, or ascending stares slowing towards a light. In this case we were descending down a well. Well, by the time we get to the bottom of the well, Kelsang Zogden is sleeping I open my eyes and peek at him and the dude is sleeping But nobody else notices cause they're all on their little celestial journeys internally at this point and I'm left all buy myself trying sooooo fucking hard not to bust a gut After 20 minutes of agonizing pain (mind you for the entire time, I'm trying not to laugh), Kelsang Zogden finally wakes up and guides us through our emotional journey in this meditation. At that point, I've done lost my damned mind and the only compassion I was imagining was for the great Lord Buddha to take compassion on me and put me out of my misery from having laughed internally for those agonizing minutes. The entire time, I was having to show a stone cold face. Then the post-meditation talk begins, and it got even worse! First, a little old lady behind me kept talking about how her heart went out the "hungry ghosts". In Tibetan and various forms of Mahayanist Buddhism they believe that there is a realm of existence that is neither heaven, hell, nor earth were folks are born into it always hungering. They're often depicted with huge mouths but tiny necks that can't pass food through. Anyways, it wasn't that her beliefs were making me chuckle on the inside, but how she looked like a crazy, possessed woman on the verge of an emotional breakdown when talking abou it. You know those folks that talk about Jesus and can't talk about him without crying? That was her. Then a guy beside her started talking about how he saw a dolphin in the Clearwater beach the other day, and wondered if it was a Buddha. It just went on and on. I think my problem is that I'm looking for stress management right now. And meditation is excellent for that. I think I just lack maturity to take certain journeys with others. I need to do this on my own. Anyways, Do you ever feel that some life journey you take is better off done on your own? Or do you think that doing it with someone or a group of people is more beneficial? I figure getting in shape is better off with others, but anything involving personal growth outside of that, just needs to be a loner type thing for me. edits [Edited 8/29/07 20:17pm] | |
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to the bottom of a well?? what the fuck?? | |
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roodboi said: to the bottom of a well?? what the fuck??
You're thinking it's an metaphor for sexual intercourse aren't you? | |
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Imago said: roodboi said: to the bottom of a well?? what the fuck??
You're thinking it's an metaphor for sexual intercourse aren't you? Hit that bottom,work the bottom "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...NOBODY!"
johnart says: "I'm THE shit" | |
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Imago said: roodboi said: to the bottom of a well?? what the fuck??
You're thinking it's an metaphor for sexual intercourse aren't you? I'm thinking I hope you aren't paying for said spiritual journey... | |
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ThreadCula said: Imago said: You're thinking it's an metaphor for sexual intercourse aren't you? Hit that bottom,work the bottom I'm not joking. I laughed long, loud, and hard over that | |
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how the fuck did u hold your laughter in
i cant do that shit, i would have been rolling, and i would have slapped the mf'er who thought the dolphin may have been the lord god buddah everybody knows the lord buddah prefers penguins are you ready for submission
cidade de deus | |
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roodboi said: Imago said: You're thinking it's an metaphor for sexual intercourse aren't you? I'm thinking I hope you aren't paying for said spiritual journey... no, it's free | |
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eraclito said: how the fuck did u hold your laughter in
i cant do that shit, i would have been rolling, and i would have slapped the mf'er who thought the dolphin may have been the lord god buddah everybody knows the lord buddah prefers penguins I swear to you it hurt like hell. It's like hearing your old Aunt fart, and not being able to laugh about it to her face. | |
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i tried going to a universalist church for a while because i felt like i wasn't advancing enough with my study and practice of taoism, and when i went to the church services, it was a really feel-good, warm-fuzzy experience, but at the same time i realized it wasn't exactly the introspective, personally progressive experience i was looking for, and in fact the way i filter the things that happen to me in life is very much keeping in line with what i've studied in taoism over the years, so actually i'm keeping on the path just fine, and i'm experiencing the challenges i need to experience and dealing with the questions i need to handle as life presents them to me. so yeah, i think the spiritual stuff, for me anyway, is more of a solitary thing than a communal thing. and as much as i am interested in trying out the UU thing again, i don't think i'd go because i need to work out something i'm not already getting.
oh god, my cat just fell into a moving box, so yeah. that's all i can say right now. | |
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Imago said: roodboi said: I'm thinking I hope you aren't paying for said spiritual journey... no, it's free I'm not sure that makes it any better...atleast if you paid you could complain... | |
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eraclito said: how the fuck did u hold your laughter in
i cant do that shit, i would have been rolling, and i would have slapped the mf'er who thought the dolphin may have been the lord god buddah everybody knows the lord buddah prefers penguins exactly,I find it very hard to hold in my laughter. "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...NOBODY!"
johnart says: "I'm THE shit" | |
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roodboi said: Imago said: no, it's free I'm not sure that makes it any better...atleast if you paid you could complain... Oh please, the org itself is free, and I complain about Dani's threads constantly | |
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Imago said: eraclito said: how the fuck did u hold your laughter in
i cant do that shit, i would have been rolling, and i would have slapped the mf'er who thought the dolphin may have been the lord god buddah everybody knows the lord buddah prefers penguins I swear to you it hurt like hell. It's like hearing your old Aunt fart, and not being able to laugh about it to her face. i wouldn't dare laugh in my old aunt's face, it might compell her to fart some more. but i hear ya... are you ready for submission
cidade de deus | |
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Dan
you're going to hell safe journey | |
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Anyways, it wasn't that her beliefs were making me chuckle on the inside, but how she looked like a crazy, possessed woman on the verge of an emotional breakdown when talking abou it. You know those folks that talk about Jesus and can't talk about him without crying? That was her.
I know this person. I occasionally go the 35 year old to Death Womens Bible Class at my church. The teach is a lovely older woman who, is well into her seventies, but you can tell she was one hot mama back in her day. Anyway, a class can't go by without her talking about her husband. Well every figured out that the dude has been cheating on her more or less non-stop for about forty years, and every class she's ask for prayer so he can change. : [Edited 8/29/07 20:11pm] No More Haters on the Internet. | |
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Mach said: Dan
you're going to hell safe journey Oh lawd, that may be better than going to the "realm of the hungry ghosts" where yuppie urbanites will pity me. | |
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ThreadCula said: eraclito said: how the fuck did u hold your laughter in
i cant do that shit, i would have been rolling, and i would have slapped the mf'er who thought the dolphin may have been the lord god buddah everybody knows the lord buddah prefers penguins exactly,I find it very hard to hold in my laughter. was watching rush hour 3 at the movies, and took a big swig of water, then proceeded to projectile spit the water in a burst of laughter over 20 people. luckily they were all chicken shit mf'ers and no one beat me up.. lol are you ready for submission
cidade de deus | |
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littlemissG said: [img] Anyways, it wasn't that her beliefs were making me chuckle on the inside, but how she looked like a crazy, possessed woman on the verge of an emotional breakdown when talking abou it. You know those folks that talk about Jesus and can't talk about him without crying? That was her. [/img]
I know this person. I occasionally go the 35 year old to Death Womens Bible Class at my church. The teach is a lovely older woman who, is well into her seventies, but you can tell she was one hot mama back in her day. Anyway, a class can't go by without her talking about her husband. Well every figured out that the dude has been cheating on her more or less non-stop for about forty years, and every class she's ask for pray so he can change. :eyes roll: OMG, she doesn't need prayer--she needs half! | |
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Imago said: Mach said: Dan
you're going to hell safe journey Oh lawd, that may be better than going to the "realm of the hungry ghosts" where yuppie urbanites will pity me. yeah that small neck thing worries me are you ready for submission
cidade de deus | |
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Imago said: Mach said: Dan
you're going to hell safe journey Oh lawd, that may be better than going to the "realm of the hungry ghosts" where yuppie urbanites will pity me. Dude I've been there not an ounce of pity to be found | |
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Mach said: Imago said: Oh lawd, that may be better than going to the "realm of the hungry ghosts" where yuppie urbanites will pity me. Dude I've been there not an ounce of pity to be found so are u saying u have a small neck? are you ready for submission
cidade de deus | |
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eraclito said: Mach said: Dude I've been there not an ounce of pity to be found so are u saying u have a small neck? No I'm saying the hungry ghosts ate all the pity | |
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Mach said: eraclito said: so are u saying u have a small neck? No I'm saying the hungry ghosts ate all the pity the greedy bastids are you ready for submission
cidade de deus | |
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want me to projectile spit all over them ? are you ready for submission
cidade de deus | |
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Mach said: eraclito said: so are u saying u have a small neck? No I'm saying the hungry ghosts ate all the pity I don't think they can eat or swallow though. Anything they try to consume gets blocked up. It's like that whole "Angry Dragon" thing Karamtornado was talking about. shit, I am going to hell. | |
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eraclito said: want me to projectile spit all over them ?
is that like code for some weird sexual act ? | |
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eraclito said: want me to projectile spit all over them ?
"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...NOBODY!"
johnart says: "I'm THE shit" | |
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Mach said: eraclito said: want me to projectile spit all over them ?
is that like code for some weird sexual act ? | |
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Imago said: Mach said: No I'm saying the hungry ghosts ate all the pity I don't think they can eat or swallow though. Anything they try to consume gets blocked up. It's like that whole "Angry Dragon" thing Karamtornado was talking about. shit, I am going to hell. wanna use my handbasket ? | |
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