Oh, it's so bad. SO bad. I mean, on one hand, it makes it awfully fun to go to work. On the other hand, it's a serious fucking distraction. And to make it worse, I don't know if she is crushing back, but she certainly seems to connect with me, and I think that's something she generally has a tough time with. It's just this huge CLICK. Aurgh! It huurrrttss. . . waannntt. . .

I've always thought it would be so stupid to hook up with a coworker. Anybody wanna share any horror stories to scare me off?

a cow worker?

Just say no - usually a bad idea.

1sexymf said:

Ok, she's really painfully attractive, so I'm gonna need more than that. I need to hear about how she's going to ruin my life. Could you say something about that, please?

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Here are a few things to consider:

Rarely is it "love." Usually it's lust.

Odds are, she will become a horrible distraction, risking your professional reputation and job performance. The spectre of an office romance often fuels gossip and suspicions of pillow talk about the job. When those suspicions are confirmed, it can grow measurably worse: Management is beholden, at some level, to get involved -- even if to apprise you of its policy about office romances.

If the relationship sours, and I read recently that at least 75% of professional dating relationships do, there's the chance that one of you will have to leave the workplace, just to maintain a semblance of peace, order and professionalism.

And, transfers or departures are equally inevitable because of the stress to office relationships, as well as the strain at least one party likely would feel after seeing the other every day at work.

It really is best to ignore the signs of attraction and keep it professional.

If you get involved and then fight or breakup, you'll still have to deal with her. That's more irritating than the crush

ThreadBare said:

At this point, I think it's safe to say it's attraction and lust. "Love" is a bit of hyperbole.

And all good points, thank you.

Always follow the golden rule.....Never shit where you eat!


I learned that lesson the hard way. Just like a few of the others warned, fighting can lead to such nastiness! Also, you don't want your co-workers in on your personal relationship.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Many people are lonly rechard souls. They don't want to have to see lovey dovey all day long, so if all goes right you will both lose your jobs. If something goes drasticly wrong, one or both of you will have to leave. So the question is how much do you like your job? Sometimes, when love calls you've got to go.

Become friends & wait until one of you quits. Otherwise something is bound to fuck it up & you'll have tension @ what's already an annoying place: WORK

Don't do it... unless you don't mind gossip & seeing an ex every fucking day

Ofcourse, you can have some of that fun sex in the work place! That might just be worth it

Ah, love! The heart wants what it wants.

The inherent ramifications of an office romance means it'll almost always end messily and painfully.

Pragmatically speaking, if you value your job you should wait until either you or this young lady move on to other employment before taking things beyond friendship.

If you and she share the connection you described, she'll make a marvelous friend in the interim and, if one day the relationship does progress further, by waiting until you've removed the workplace factor from the equation you'll have increased the chances of the relationship being healthier and much more successful.

In the meanwhile, write scads of romantic, tormented love poems about her! Present them to her later if you and she get together and score major brownie points!


[Edited 6/15/06 4:50am]

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Yeah, I also once went out with a girl who had a huge one of those.
Even though I tried, I just couldn't deal with it.

It was just too wierd to wake up next to her, look down the sheets, & see that next to the tent pitched by my morning wood was another smaller tent.
It got so that.....oh....wait.....

you said CLICK didn't you.....?


Sorry. My bad.

It could work, of course. But generally it just makes things far more complicated.

The old saying has some truth in it: Don't shit on your own doorstep.

Get on with it.

ok, I'll be the voice of non-reason.

I think it all depends on just HOW closely you work with the person. I've dated someone who I worked with before, but we didn't work that closely and when it was over it really wasn't much of a big deal. All was amicable and sure, there were a few awkward moments here and there for a month or so, but you get over it quickly. Heck, he's married now and I still get the occasional email from him checking in on new music and such. But I suppose, I'm just that cool a girl.
If it were someone I worked with closely or even sat next to or had a neighboring office with, then I'd be much, much more wary. But sometimes if it's worth it, it's worth it.

Just keep it an infatuation instead of actually doing anything. It's much funner that way. It'll keep u stoked about goin' to work, and most times people lose their appeal after ya do 'em!

i slept with a co-worker once, YEARS ago and many jobs ago. it was torrid, shameful and had all the potential of a huge mistake. of course, i LOVED it!

when all was said and done, we just kinda acknowledged the potential for weirdness at work, didn't hold each other responsible for anything further, and went on about our merry ways. it actually made work more interesting.

Anx said:

that's pretty much how mine went too.

You guys are awesome.

CarrieMpls said:

It's a very small office, so I work closely with her. However, this job is designed to be temporary -- probably just until the fall, though they're trying to bribe me into staying for a year. So. . . you know. . . the employment risk isn't SO severe. But there would be no way to keep it a secret, certainly.

if you're going to leave soon and work elsewhere, give that girl a two hand swing, promanade, that's two by two, promenade, that's what you do.

No woman is worth losing your job over. And don't forget, Not only will you be seeing her at work but also at home. Too Much. You'll get sick of her.

Spats said:

That's not true!

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Never, ever, ever, ever hook up with a co-worker.....

To repeat what others have said: you have to be around this person on a professional level every day....something goes wrong, or she turns out to be especially needy or jealous, you lose interest or vice cersa - you are in big trouble.

Work can be difficult enough, but to have to deal with relationships and all of the complications (positive and negative) that can arise by an inter-office romance is hardly worth it....especially if you think it is just lust.

Find someone to plague outside of the office....

HereToRockYourWorld said:

DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!

I'm sorry I'm at the stage in life where anything goes (within reason).

Quick question? Is it harder to tell if a girl is flirting with you 'cause she's a girl. I think it's easier to tell with men. (flirting with a man).

M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Sometimes there's no need to use words, you just find out in time when feelings are getting obvious. It might take time but it worths the wait.

MarySharon said:

That's the best part!!!

Marysharon.

M