If ya have a significant other? Is it a Bad thing?

yes sure it's not s good thing, unless you want to risk losing your partner.

If it's got to the point where you feel you need to keep it a secret because it would be hurtful to your partner, then YES, that would be cheating, IMHO.

Tough call. I flirt with girls A LOT here on the org, but I care about my lady so much that I would never actually DO anything. However, if she was talking to guys like I talk to the girls here, I would wonder if she really cared about me. I guess it has to do with the level of confidence in a relationship.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Would it upset her if she read what you have written here?

charlottegelin said:

Yup. I guess that was kinda my point - I know how I personally feel about her - nothing I say on the org is actually for real (I think of the org as kinda my fantasy world to just mess around, etc). If I say I want to "hump" an orger, etc, I don't MEAN it, ya know? I know she wouldn't understand and that's why I don't encourage her to come on the org - I like using the org as a release and to be silly. Maybe it's a double standard, but honestly, I don't want to know what SHE does online, etc - I trust her and I hope she trusts me.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

she wouldn't understand? even if you explained it? It's still quite a new relationship though.

nilegettolrahc said:

True. Maybe I just don't really want her to know, ya know? I want to say whatever I want without having to explain - I'm not hurting anyone in my "real" life by what I do on the org. I just want to be able to be what I want to be on the org without having to answer to "real" people.... I dunno... does that make sense?

ReturnOfDOOK said:

yeah, it would unecessarily complicate things.

nilegettolrahc said:

If she was on the org it would, for sure. This is my own private playground though. It's like a personal journal with other peeps reacting to my lame posts.... it's pretty harmless in the grand scheme of things.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

I think one on one suggestive chat in private would be cheating, not saying pure b.s. for the hell of it in a public forum. This is how I justify it to myself

nilegettolrahc said:

I agree...it's not like I'm trying to secretly form a relationship with someone - I'm shooting my mouth off in front of a lot of peeps. Sort of related to that, I think that in private emails I would be more "serious", etc rather than just jokine about "boning" someone, ya know? I just joke around - nothing more.

I think it Isn't Cheating is ACTUAL SEX. And if ya Hot for Someone Married or Not well how can ya Control ya URGES to Wanna Fuck that Person.... Hey Maybe ya will leave the other Person cause ya Find the Other is MUCH Better... Stuff Happens..Not saying it's Right or Wrong but we are ALL ADULTS.. SEx is OUT There and so is TEMPTATION and LUST. It's HARd SOMETIMEs...I don't Think People gotta Beat Themselves up over things... GUILT is RETARDED. JEWISH say ENJOY....

Zelaira said:

All I know is, is that it says a lot about the partner that does it. I would guess this person is good at having two faces in his or her world. Being able to lead a double life.

It is not only totally disrespectful towards the partner that doesn't know about it.... but also imagine your unknowing partner coming home at the end of the day, totally clueless of what you've been doing all day, being happy to see you again and tells you with all excitement how the day has been,..and you sit there, as the "cheating-partner",... knowing what you've been doing all day and telling a totally different story. I guess you'd feel pretty shitty about yourself, huh? Or you simply have no conciousness...

Eitherway,... everybody is responsible for their own Karma. I try to not fuck up mine over unimportant online encounters. To each their own.

Okay then, I'm a slut

bkw said:

yes you are

ReturnOfDOOK said:

you just broke my heart, you big meanie

Zelaira said:

key here is asking your "other" ... and reasking every once in a while... talking about it and updating is the key to success

charlottegelin said:

Zelaira said:

I was just placed in that precarious position. My good friend's wife was mad that I was talking to her husband a lot. The wife was not speaking to her husband and demanded that we end our friendship. If she would have heard the conversations she would have heard us talk about work. My loyalty was with my friend, her husband. I took it as no different than porn magazines. But I am confident and secure in myself and abilities. A man is going to do what he wants regardless. If you stress him and lock him in, you can expect the worst. The physical act and the dishonesty about that is what I have a problem with. If a person can't tell you what is wrong, how can you expect them to fix it or make it better. If a person is not happy with me, I would rather know and move on. Finding them in my bed with another person is not the way to do it in my world.