is a difference in your sex drive and that of your partner a big enough reason to leave them?...if you got on well with your partner but their sex drive just didnt come close to yours.....and the fustration was always there.....would you leave for that reason alone?

blackbob said:

hell no..if a person i truly loved couldn't have sex or didnt want it for some reason it wouldnt bother me i would stay with them...love is more important than sex

Mazerati said:

Exactly.

I would never just up & leave, but if there was a big difference that lasted over a long period of time & we never saw eye to eye on it... I'd probably still stay but be frustrated That's if everything else is great

CalhounSq said:

interesting...but i think some dont realise the effect rejection can have over a long period of time....it can and will effect every part of a relationship no matter how good other parts of it are.

blackbob said:

Hell No

sure sex matters, but I mean, if you are in love, and you leave because of a difference in sex drive?? Your priorities are fucked up.

blackbob said:

but if you know it is truely a difference in sex drive, then you may not want to view it as rejection ... it is not to your fault that the persons inner drive differs from yours, so there is not reason to keep the mindset that you are being rejected or are a failure in any way

in most long term relationships sex drives change and vary

one month it may be daily the next month you may have sex a total of 7 times ...





.
[Edited 9/28/05 4:26am]

In a truly LONG term relationship this kind of stuff goes through phases. If your relationship is strong you learn to talk about this stuff more, make compromises and appreciate each other in other ways.

I used to think is was the most important thing (what a surprise) sure it can be a bit frustrating occasionally but at the end of the day there are way more important things.

blackbob said:

Yes.

Mach said:

7 times a month....if only.....no i am talking about no sex for up to a year at worst and at best once every month or two.....where the other partner would like 3 or 4 times a week .....thats the sort of difference i am talking about.....could you live with that?
[Edited 9/28/05 5:42am]

blackbob said:

hell no. a whole year without sex? i mean, if your partner doesn't
want to have actual sex can't he/she at least help you getting off?

PREDOMINANT said:

exactamundo.

I am on the other side of the fence on this one. If we are talking a frequency issue and its minor certainly that is workable. However, I couldn't see myself going a year. Or any great part there of. Not to mention there would be so very many issues coming from that context to be dealt with too! In my opinion sexual incompatibility is a nightmare.

SIDE BAR: If we are talking due to illness or (issues I knew about prior to the situation then this is a horse of another color) I am not simple enough to believe it won't present many emotional difficulties and challenges however.

As long as Cinemax keeps running those wonderful films after midnight, I'll be alright.

I'm just kidding...no I'm not...yes, I am. (I'm really not.)

Yes. If she wasn't good at it or didn't want to do it then i would have to leave. Now if we were old or something like that it would be a different story but if you are in your prime years and this is happening then it's a different story. Life is too short.

Muse2NOPharoah has n xcellent point. It dependz on the situation.

NO.
i'm gunna bite my tongue on this one.

I agree with the person who said these things come and go in a long term relationship. Sometimes the drive maybe really high, and sometimes it may wain and other things take presidence. If you leave before trying to work it out through discussions and patience, you are being shallow in my opinion.

I dont know, but I'm a Sex Feind. So No sex probably cuz I wont B able 2 take it but 2 days.

not for that reason alone...but i have seen it cause other problems

no... sex is one of the least important elements in a relationship for me

PFfffFFTTTT!! Eventually, i'm going to the titty bar for a lapdance! Sure there are more important things in a relationship, but my dick's pretty important to me. And what's the point in being in a relationship if you're not fuckin'? Shit, let's just be friends then. :handshake:

Yup, and I have.

But I think if the sex has gone down hill it speaks to a deeper problem in the relationship that would eventually lead to a breakup anyway.

I bought a 12-pack of condoms - my husband gasped and joked "that's a year's supply!" a little too close to the truth.

SammiJ said:

http://www.prince.org/msg/100/162016

It really depends on the situation and circumstances…. If there is no sex and no communication it will lead to other issues in the relationship…. U will become frustrated and it will fester and lead to changes in ur personality… any relationship is give n take…. Each partner needs to understand what needs they have and how they can go about fulfilling them…. To avoid the issue and just build on it will not help and make it worse no matter how strong the relationship is….. end result usually leads to that partner trying to fill the void they are not getting and gratification from someone or somewhere else…. The series on HBO for Real Sex is working with couples and helping out their sex lives…. There have been some great information from a male and female perspective and how they open the door to communication to help with their sex lives… and I have learned some cool new tips

charlottegelin said:

I recently heard the same kind of comment. I am glad we are not alone..

shanti0608 said:

we did use 2 of them last night though!
we are matched in libido, though we both want more sex but circumstances (read: babies and small children) prevent it.

charlottegelin said:

9 yrs ago when my husband & I started dating, our libido's matched but not so much anymore. Being on certain meds like birth control have destroyed my libido. I do not have any children so I cannot use that excuse. When I complain to my dr's, they tell me it is normal for women to go through this...
I wish mine would come back like it used to be but I do not think that will happen. Luckily my husband is very patient and we both realize our marriage is more then sex.