(There is a happy ending to this...)

I didn't update our group or any of his, email or make phone calls yesterday because I was extremely depressed and worried and just couldn't deal. I left him yesterday morning around 11:30am. I was there for his memory therapy and again 100% improvement from the day before. Even though on the outside I'm staying positive and focusing on what the issues are, on the inside it's a different story. So many worries and concerns entered my mind, that yesterday I needed to lock up in the house and have a worry day.

I got back to the hospital yesterday in time to join Drew for dinner. I could tell he was tired. He socialised a little, but mostly slept. At about 12 midnight the tech came in to check his vital signs and Drew had fluid leaking from his incision. They changed his pillow case and bandaged his head. They came back 2 hours later bring more nurses, told me that it was spinal fluid and asked me what he had to eat or drink after midnight. He hadn't so I told them "none." It then entered my mind that he was going back to surgery. I freaked out, but I kept it together because Drew needed me. He was running a fever, complaining of a headache and backache. They couldn't give him any pain medication, so I held his hand and lightly rubbed his arm. There's a lot to the human touch- I know it helped him back to sleep and it kept me calm. So about 6:30am the doctor came in and Drew only need 2 stitches- no surgery. Thank God! I was so worried that another surgery would set back his progress and extend his stay at the hospital. While they were doing the stitches I went down stairs for coffee and fresh air. When I got back the nurse told me that Drew was fine, that fluid build up is common and that when it does it needs to excape. I called his parents and his father came to relieved me- I needed to see my doctor. I have a solid support system here, but I think it was easier discussing my problems with someone who wasn't attached. And I let it out, I had her crying before we were finished. She gave me some xanax. I took one on the ride home, got home feeling "chemically" better and that's when I got the good news....

I had a message from Drew's father asking me to return his call- he had "good news." I did and he told me that Drew worked with the memory theropist and again 100% better than the day before. His neurosurgeon saw Drew and said that what he experinced was normal and that if his cat-scan was clear that HE WOULD BE COMING HOME TOMORROW! So now I'm feeling "spiritually" better. He still may not come home tomorrow, but the ball is rolling in that direction! And now I'm crying... tears of relief and tears of joy.

I thank GOD- or whoever is watching over us- for every bad experience I've ever endured. Some were at my own hands, others out of my controll. I can say that those stressful life experiences prepared me for what I've been through with Drew. Thank you to each and everyone of you who were with me through this. I don't even know what many of you look like, but I found so much strength in your kind, supportive words. For this I love each and everyone of you. Y'all will always hold a dear and special place in my heart.

Thank you! Love, Stuart XOX



PS- I am so jaming Prince "I Would Die 4U" so loudly that I know the neighbors would like me to turn it off... but I'm not!

PPS- Do not vote against spousal equality. By supporting "The Marriage Defense Act" or any other constitutional ban on spousal equality, you're supporting cruel and unusual punishment.



Drew got more flowers yesterday! You are literally overwhelmed by the fragrance before you enter his room. The staff say that they have never seen so many flowers in one room!











[Edited 7/28/05 11:40am]

Thats great

You always have to have the freakout before the sun comes out. Even if its a week till he comes home, it just feels better to know HE is coming home

Sounds like great news!

Stay strong and positive for him and that good spirit should help the healing.

ella731 said:

Thank you so much Ella!! We still have work ahead of us and I'm cool with that- just couldn't do another surgery.

Raine said:

...and that feels so good!

Heavenly said:

Thanks Heavenly- this month I have been strong and positive for Drew. And when it was too much to handle I was still strong and positive for him!

Drew, and yourself have alot of love.. The flowers are a great indication.

Your strength alone will sustain him..

sag10 said:

Drew and I both have great families and many old friends. I was very fortunate to have their help. They are pouring their heart's into it!

Thank you again Sag!

Oh sweetie! That is quite traumatic! You are handleing this better than I would. Glad all is better and he is coming home.

for you and Drew.

superspaceboy said:

Thank's space! I had to keep it together, but I had quite a release with my doctor!

I can imagine that it scared you sweetie so happy to read that everything's ok again

Oh... and his bitch mother knocked over my luxurious floral arrangement! And then did a half ass job cleaning it up!

AndGodCreatedMe said:

Girl I aged a few months!

Ok just one thing..... you're not gonna be able to fit yourself, Drew and all the flowers in one car!!! Just thought I'd tell you that.

And on another note you're extremely lucky to have each other - you seem to be a wonderful couple. All the best for your future
[Edited 7/28/05 11:58am]

Stuart,

You are very very blessed to be able to share this experience with Drew. He could be going through this alone. Instead he has you by his side. It warms my heart and my spirit like you would not believe to see the dedication and the love and the strength and the commitment. Things will be better and Drew will be back in no time. Just keep your head up, be strong and when you need to let go of your frustrations and fears, let go. You're supposed to. We're here for ya.

I love you brother

Supa

CynthiasSocks said:

Breathe deeply and count to 10.....1, 2, 3,

LolaM said:

I'll have you know that Drew and I have all ready discussed this! Drew said "Leave 'em! Let's get the hell outta here!"

Thanks Lola!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I'm speechless!

CynthiasSocks said:

Ahh always thinking ahead, eh??? smartass

CynthiasSocks said:

Thank you!

LolaM said:

I did!

LolaM said:

Hey Drew's the clever one!

Mach said:

CynthiasSocks said:

Stuart-----><-----Supa
Drew-----><-----Supa

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Drew-n-Stu-----><-----Supa

When my mom had back surgery two years ago, she had a similar scare with her spinal fluid leaking (only hers was internal, so it took longer to catch), so I know a bit of what you're dealing with here. It is SCARY when you hear the doctor tell you that, but it turns out to be quite common in these cases.

Keep that positive attitude up! It makes a world of difference, I truly believe. Just your faith alone is helping Drew in ways we can't possibly imagine. You're a truly amazing soul, and Drew is darned lucky to have your love and support!!

JediMaster said:

(I'm going to have to take a break from this thread!)

CynthiasSocks said:

This song is old as dirt to me and until today it didn't have meaning to me.