New topic
Printable| Author | Message |
Anyone have those hilarious R. Kelly lyrics.... ....where he's talking about doin' it in the kitchen and how sexy his woman is while she "tosses salad" etc?
I need a laugh, and I forgot what the "song" was called.  | |
- E-mail - orgNote -  Report post to moderator |
Here's one Grammy-worthy track:
You Remind Me of Something: You remind me of something I just can't think of what it is [1] - You remind me of my jeep, I wanna ride it Something like my sound, I wanna pump it Girl you look just like my cars, I wanna wax it And something like my bank account I wanna spend it, baby It's something about your love that's got me going crazy Baby, you know I want you real bad And girl I really like your freaky style How can I be down with you? So get a little closer to my ride I wanna get to know you lady And hip me up on how to get inside you Listen, pretty baby [2] - I wanna roll it, roll it, roll it, roll it Is all I wanna do for you baby Girl, it's something kind of sexy Goin' on about you babe [repeat 1, 1] Now I would like to take you on a ride tonight Girl, you know we'll have so much fun And give you everything your body needs Satisfaction guaranteed So pull up to my bumper and let the system sound Girl, I bet cha' I can drive you crazy And let me be the one to drop you off Babe, listen to me [rpt 2, 1, 1...1] Don't be alone, don't be alone I'm comin' through your door Turn off the lights, turn off the lights, baby It's something about this moment [rpt 1, 1, 1...] I'm the first mammal to wear pants. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Sex In The Kitchen
Girl you're in the kitchen Cooking me a meal Something makes me wanna come in there and get a feel Walk around in your t-shirt Nothing else on Strutting pass, switching that ass while I'm on the phone Cutting up tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes Girl, you look so sexy while you're doing the damn thang I want Sex in the kitchen over by the stove Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls Hands on the table, on your tippy toes We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed How would you like it, baby (How would you like that?) Tell me right now pretty baby Hey man, I'm gon call you back Girl you're in the kitchen, chillin in your robe I'm thinking to myself she better go put on some clothes Tickling and teasing Doing that little dance Girl, you gon make me lay you down and give it to you one mo 'gain [Chorus 2x] Girl I'm ready to toss your salad While I'm making love,I'll be feasting Girl you're in the kitchen Sweating up a storm The oven's on 500 So you know the kitchen's warm Girl you know just how to get into a brother's mind Cause here we are still in this kitchen Doing it for the third time  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
No way in hell I would turn my oven up to 500 degrees  "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood...NOBODY!"
johnart says: "I'm THE shit" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
axlfilth said: Sex In The Kitchen
Girl you're in the kitchen Cooking me a meal Something makes me wanna come in there and get a feel Walk around in your t-shirt Nothing else on Strutting pass, switching that ass while I'm on the phone Cutting up tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes Girl, you look so sexy while you're doing the damn thang I want Sex in the kitchen over by the stove Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls Hands on the table, on your tippy toes We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed How would you like it, baby (How would you like that?) Tell me right now pretty baby Hey man, I'm gon call you back Girl you're in the kitchen, chillin in your robe I'm thinking to myself she better go put on some clothes Tickling and teasing Doing that little dance Girl, you gon make me lay you down and give it to you one mo 'gain [Chorus 2x] Girl I'm ready to toss your salad While I'm making love,I'll be feasting Girl you're in the kitchen Sweating up a storm The oven's on 500 So you know the kitchen's warm Girl you know just how to get into a brother's mind Cause here we are still in this kitchen Doing it for the third time  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
i'm so embarassed r. kelly's from my hometown  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
OMG! This fool is nasty. When is that trial of his going to start already? I'm not a fan of "old Prince". I'm not a fan of "new Prince". I'm just a fan of Prince. Simple as that | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
And you have to wonder if he was talking about a WOMAN or a girl...    I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
axlfilth said
Girl I'm ready to toss your salad While I'm making love,I'll be feasting Girl you're in the kitchen Sweating up a storm The oven's on 500 So you know the kitchen's warm Girl you know just how to get into a brother's mind Cause here we are still in this kitchen Doing it for the third time  If his meaning of "tossing salad" is the same as it is in the clubs down here, he is one nasty MF. "Tossing salad" down here means giving oral sex to either a woman or a man.....but not in the front.....in the BACK! In other words, a rim job.  [Edited 2/8/05 3:47am] Andy is a four letter word. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
vainandy said: axlfilth said
Girl I'm ready to toss your salad While I'm making love,I'll be feasting Girl you're in the kitchen Sweating up a storm The oven's on 500 So you know the kitchen's warm Girl you know just how to get into a brother's mind Cause here we are still in this kitchen Doing it for the third time If his meaning of "tossing salad" is the same as it is in the clubs down here, he is one nasty MF. "Tossing salad" down here means giving oral sex to either a woman or a man.....but not in the front.....in the BACK! In other words, a rim job.
[Edited 2/8/05 3:47am] That's what it means everywhere
Thanks, guys. I needed that laugh.  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
VoicesCarry said: vainandy said: If his meaning of "tossing salad" is the same as it is in the clubs down here, he is one nasty MF. "Tossing salad" down here means giving oral sex to either a woman or a man.....but not in the front.....in the BACK! In other words, a rim job.
[Edited 2/8/05 3:47am] That's what it means everywhere
Thanks, guys. I needed that laugh.  I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Handclapsfingasnapz said:[
[/quote]
I was sad enough to recognize the pic straight away.  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
thesexofit said: Handclapsfingasnapz said:[
I was sad enough to recognize the pic straight away. [/quote]
Where is that pic from?  I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CalhounSq said: thesexofit said: I was sad enough to recognize the pic straight away. Where is that pic from? the "cream" video. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Handclapsfingasnapz said: CalhounSq said: Where is that pic from? the "cream" video. DAMN, y'all good I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
|
It's official: "Sex in the Kitchen" is R. Kelly's choice for the first single off his upcoming album. The record hit mixtapes a few weeks ago, and now his camp says the R. will be shooting a video soon. "That record," Kelly's A&R rep, Wayne Williams, said, "when he was first writing it, I was like, 'Yo, man, that record is out of here. That is just a crazy record.' When he started performing it [on tour before it was released,] it just confirmed it. The impact it had was amazing" (see "Fertile Garden Sings R. Kelly's Hits For Him At New York Show"). "I think this album is a very sexy album," Williams said of Kelly's still-untitled LP. "It's a very sexy album. I tell you this: There is a song that is real explosive and it's hard to describe. It is going to be a surprise, but it is ... Oh my goodness, if you think 'Sex in the Kitchen' is amazing, wait till you hear this one. He's got a lot in store for this next album, baby. It's ridiculous." Williams didn't give away too many other details about the project except that Kelly is working with "quite a few" artists from his hometown of Chicago as well as a couple of other rappers from different parts of the country. Williams also said Kelly's lawsuit drama with Jay-Z is having no effect on his work (see "Jay-Z Countersues R. Kelly Over What He Calls Their 'Nightmarish Odyssey' "). "Robert is a very competitive person, he is very spirited in this effort," Williams explained. "Robert always give 150 percent. That is just how he is. He can't do anything half-assed. I think he always feels that he is giving 150 percent no matter when or what's going on. ... Robert does not get caught up in the media stuff like maybe consumers and other people do. Robert just keeps it moving." Kelly has already moved on to his next two projects while finishing up the impending solo release. He's producing on the new album by Syleena Johnson and playing the role of executive producer on a forthcoming solo effort by Charlie Wilson of the Gap Band. Wilson is already six songs deep into his album, and besides collaborations with Kelly, he's going to be teaming up with Snoop Dogg and Pharrell Williams.  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
axlfilth said:
It's official: "Sex in the Kitchen" is R. Kelly's choice for the first single off his upcoming album. The record hit mixtapes a few weeks ago, and now his camp says the R. will be shooting a video soon. "That record," Kelly's A&R rep, Wayne Williams, said, "when he was first writing it, I was like, 'Yo, man, that record is out of here. That is just a crazy record.' When he started performing it [on tour before it was released,] it just confirmed it. The impact it had was amazing" (see "Fertile Garden Sings R. Kelly's Hits For Him At New York Show"). "I think this album is a very sexy album," Williams said of Kelly's still-untitled LP. "It's a very sexy album. I tell you this: There is a song that is real explosive and it's hard to describe. It is going to be a surprise, but it is ... Oh my goodness, if you think 'Sex in the Kitchen' is amazing, wait till you hear this one. He's got a lot in store for this next album, baby. It's ridiculous." Williams didn't give away too many other details about the project except that Kelly is working with "quite a few" artists from his hometown of Chicago as well as a couple of other rappers from different parts of the country. Williams also said Kelly's lawsuit drama with Jay-Z is having no effect on his work (see "Jay-Z Countersues R. Kelly Over What He Calls Their 'Nightmarish Odyssey' "). "Robert is a very competitive person, he is very spirited in this effort," Williams explained. "Robert always give 150 percent. That is just how he is. He can't do anything half-assed. I think he always feels that he is giving 150 percent no matter when or what's going on. ... Robert does not get caught up in the media stuff like maybe consumers and other people do. Robert just keeps it moving." Kelly has already moved on to his next two projects while finishing up the impending solo release. He's producing on the new album by Syleena Johnson and playing the role of executive producer on a forthcoming solo effort by Charlie Wilson of the Gap Band. Wilson is already six songs deep into his album, and besides collaborations with Kelly, he's going to be teaming up with Snoop Dogg and Pharrell Williams.  damn,another R.Kelly album?? He's becoming more prolific than Prince! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
axlfilth said:
It's official: "Sex in the Kitchen" is R. Kelly's choice for the first single off his upcoming album. The record hit mixtapes a few weeks ago, and now his camp says the R. will be shooting a video soon. "That record," Kelly's A&R rep, Wayne Williams, said, "when he was first writing it, I was like, 'Yo, man, that record is out of here. That is just a crazy record.' When he started performing it [on tour before it was released,] it just confirmed it. The impact it had was amazing" (see "Fertile Garden Sings R. Kelly's Hits For Him At New York Show"). "I think this album is a very sexy album," Williams said of Kelly's still-untitled LP. "It's a very sexy album. I tell you this: There is a song that is real explosive and it's hard to describe. It is going to be a surprise, but it is ... Oh my goodness, if you think 'Sex in the Kitchen' is amazing, wait till you hear this one. He's got a lot in store for this next album, baby. It's ridiculous." Williams didn't give away too many other details about the project except that Kelly is working with "quite a few" artists from his hometown of Chicago as well as a couple of other rappers from different parts of the country. Williams also said Kelly's lawsuit drama with Jay-Z is having no effect on his work (see "Jay-Z Countersues R. Kelly Over What He Calls Their 'Nightmarish Odyssey' "). "Robert is a very competitive person, he is very spirited in this effort," Williams explained. "Robert always give 150 percent. That is just how he is. He can't do anything half-assed. I think he always feels that he is giving 150 percent no matter when or what's going on. ... Robert does not get caught up in the media stuff like maybe consumers and other people do. Robert just keeps it moving." Kelly has already moved on to his next two projects while finishing up the impending solo release. He's producing on the new album by Syleena Johnson and playing the role of executive producer on a forthcoming solo effort by Charlie Wilson of the Gap Band. Wilson is already six songs deep into his album, and besides collaborations with Kelly, he's going to be teaming up with Snoop Dogg and Pharrell Williams. A VIDEO????
Shit, this is gonna be hilarious! He could just release his kiddie porn tape as the video - it would probably fit with the damn lyrics. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
axlfilth said:
It's official: "Sex in the Kitchen" is R. Kelly's choice for the first single off his upcoming album. The record hit mixtapes a few weeks ago, and now his camp says the R. will be shooting a video soon. "That record," Kelly's A&R rep, Wayne Williams, said, "when he was first writing it, I was like, 'Yo, man, that record is out of here. That is just a crazy record.' When he started performing it [on tour before it was released,] it just confirmed it. The impact it had was amazing" (see "Fertile Garden Sings R. Kelly's Hits For Him At New York Show"). "I think this album is a very sexy album," Williams said of Kelly's still-untitled LP. "It's a very sexy album. I tell you this: There is a song that is real explosive and it's hard to describe. It is going to be a surprise, but it is ... Oh my goodness, if you think 'Sex in the Kitchen' is amazing, wait till you hear this one. He's got a lot in store for this next album, baby. It's ridiculous." Williams didn't give away too many other details about the project except that Kelly is working with "quite a few" artists from his hometown of Chicago as well as a couple of other rappers from different parts of the country. Williams also said Kelly's lawsuit drama with Jay-Z is having no effect on his work (see "Jay-Z Countersues R. Kelly Over What He Calls Their 'Nightmarish Odyssey' "). "Robert is a very competitive person, he is very spirited in this effort," Williams explained. "Robert always give 150 percent. That is just how he is. He can't do anything half-assed. I think he always feels that he is giving 150 percent no matter when or what's going on. ... Robert does not get caught up in the media stuff like maybe consumers and other people do. Robert just keeps it moving." Kelly has already moved on to his next two projects while finishing up the impending solo release. He's producing on the new album by Syleena Johnson and playing the role of executive producer on a forthcoming solo effort by Charlie Wilson of the Gap Band. Wilson is already six songs deep into his album, and besides collaborations with Kelly, he's going to be teaming up with Snoop Dogg and Pharrell Williams. ----- R Kelly is the embodiment of everything that is wrong with RnB. I think of all the greif people use to give Prince. I don't think Prince every wrote anything as stupid as Sex In The Kicthen and the child porn just adds to insanity of the R Kelly situation. I am really sad to hear the Charlie Wilson is working with Kelly. I love the GAP bank but, I will have to past on this CD. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
you wanna hear some alarming R.Kelly lyrics? Check this out from the in 2 deep soundtrack. uses same beat as hid Duet with Notorious B.I.G on @^#$ you tonight:
Used to me spending by r.kelly [R. Kelly] Y'all been here so what the hell Let's get up on our hotel Doin the nasty, all night long Make your body scream and moan Tell your man that we're some kin Play it off and bring a friend I got backstage passes for you Just meet me right by the bathroom And if you don't have a curfew Keep it real and we'll be cool And if your ID's up to age
Then you're gonna get some "12Play" I ain't gon' front, got it like that The stairs goes down as room goes black Get deep in you like +The Abyss+
You bring your ass home all pregnant "Thinking like the Keys on Prince's piano, we'll be just fine" | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I just found a song called "Honey" (with Jay-Z) while doing a search for Dave Chapelle's "I Piss On You" song...and here is one line!
Baby I can't figure it out your piss is just like honey  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
axlfilth said: Sex In The Kitchen
Girl you're in the kitchen Cooking me a meal Something makes me wanna come in there and get a feel Walk around in your t-shirt Nothing else on Strutting pass, switching that ass while I'm on the phone Cutting up tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes Girl, you look so sexy while you're doing the damn thang I want Sex in the kitchen over by the stove Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls Hands on the table, on your tippy toes We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed How would you like it, baby (How would you like that?) Tell me right now pretty baby Hey man, I'm gon call you back Girl you're in the kitchen, chillin in your robe I'm thinking to myself she better go put on some clothes Tickling and teasing Doing that little dance Girl, you gon make me lay you down and give it to you one mo 'gain [Chorus 2x] Girl I'm ready to toss your salad While I'm making love,I'll be feasting Girl you're in the kitchen Sweating up a storm The oven's on 500 So you know the kitchen's warm Girl you know just how to get into a brother's mind Cause here we are still in this kitchen Doing it for the third time I think you're right. is the only way to describe it! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
(spoken)
Yeah, it's the R Forty ounces of malt liquor makes me wanna tell you something (sung) Said rollin' around, sittin' on dubs Countin' the hours, high on shrubs Coolin' in my escalade Man I'm paid, I got it made Take me to your special place Close your eyes, show me your face... I'm gonna piss on it Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love I don't even want none of the above I want to piss on you, yes I do I'll piss on you, I'll piss on you Said your body, your body Is a porta-potty I'ma pee on cue I can use karate (use karate) Ima pee on you--drip drip drip--pee on you pour it on you, piss on you, piss on you You'll never feel quite the same When you get a whiff of my Hershey stains I wanna poop on you too I want to pee in your food Only thing will make my life complete Is when I turn your face into a toilet seat I want to pee on you, yes I do, yes I do I'll pee on you, I'll piss on you Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love I don't even want none of the above I wanna piss on you, yes I do I'll piss on you, I'll pee on you Won't you braid my hair Said won't you braid my hair Before you start, I'm gonna fart I'm gonna fart on you | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
okaypimpn said: (spoken)
Yeah, it's the R Forty ounces of malt liquor makes me wanna tell you something (sung) Said rollin' around, sittin' on dubs Countin' the hours, high on shrubs Coolin' in my escalade Man I'm paid, I got it made Take me to your special place Close your eyes, show me your face... I'm gonna piss on it Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love I don't even want none of the above I want to piss on you, yes I do I'll piss on you, I'll piss on you Said your body, your body Is a porta-potty I'ma pee on cue I can use karate (use karate) Ima pee on you--drip drip drip--pee on you pour it on you, piss on you, piss on you You'll never feel quite the same When you get a whiff of my Hershey stains I wanna poop on you too I want to pee in your food Only thing will make my life complete Is when I turn your face into a toilet seat I want to pee on you, yes I do, yes I do I'll pee on you, I'll piss on you Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love I don't even want none of the above I wanna piss on you, yes I do I'll piss on you, I'll pee on you Won't you braid my hair Said won't you braid my hair Before you start, I'm gonna fart I'm gonna fart on you R. Kelly: How you gonna make a video pee'ing on somebody?! Dave Chappelle: Nigga how you gonna make video pee'in on somebody! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
there are no R. Kelly lyrics mor hilarious than "U Saved Me"  "Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later, every asshole gets one." | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
GrayKing said: there are no R. Kelly lyrics mor hilarious than "U Saved Me" This entire thread is hilarious!!!! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
|
Greatest Sex I Ever Had
Heaven I Need A Hug Feeling on Yo Booty-(Guilty pleasure I like that one) The end of I wish when he sings "...braid my hair, braid my hair" Thank You San Alejo for getting rid of my enemies. :-0
Thank You SO much Saint Expedite for your help 
Thank You Virgin de Guadalupe for helping my friend
Thank You Saint Anthony for returning my wallet to me untouched |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
lyecry said: Greatest Sex I Ever Had
Heaven I Need A Hug Feeling on Yo Booty-(Guilty pleasure I like that one) The end of I wish when he sings "...braid my hair, braid my hair" I liked I Wish up until that Braid my Hair shit. Once he started with that, I hated the song. R. Kelly is so silly with his lyrics sometimes. I'm not a fan of "old Prince". I'm not a fan of "new Prince". I'm just a fan of Prince. Simple as that | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
whenpigeonscry said: okaypimpn said: (spoken)
Yeah, it's the R Forty ounces of malt liquor makes me wanna tell you something (sung) Said rollin' around, sittin' on dubs Countin' the hours, high on shrubs Coolin' in my escalade Man I'm paid, I got it made Take me to your special place Close your eyes, show me your face... I'm gonna piss on it Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love I don't even want none of the above I want to piss on you, yes I do I'll piss on you, I'll piss on you Said your body, your body Is a porta-potty I'ma pee on cue I can use karate (use karate) Ima pee on you--drip drip drip--pee on you pour it on you, piss on you, piss on you You'll never feel quite the same When you get a whiff of my Hershey stains I wanna poop on you too I want to pee in your food Only thing will make my life complete Is when I turn your face into a toilet seat I want to pee on you, yes I do, yes I do I'll pee on you, I'll piss on you Haters wanna hate, lovers wanna love I don't even want none of the above I wanna piss on you, yes I do I'll piss on you, I'll pee on you Won't you braid my hair Said won't you braid my hair Before you start, I'm gonna fart I'm gonna fart on you R. Kelly: How you gonna make a video pee'ing on somebody?! Dave Chappelle: Nigga how you gonna make video pee'in on somebody! This one of my favorite epidsodes along with Rick James and Prince ones. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
purplecam said: lyecry said: Greatest Sex I Ever Had
Heaven I Need A Hug Feeling on Yo Booty-(Guilty pleasure I like that one) The end of I wish when he sings "...braid my hair, braid my hair" I liked I Wish up until that Braid my Hair shit. Once he started with that, I hated the song. R. Kelly is so silly with his lyrics sometimes. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |