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The more I go back and look at things the more I start to feel that Prince's "traumatic" childhood may have had more to do with his own complexities, and how he dealt with situations rather than his overall surroundings. No doubt the seizures early on, and being teased about his height contributed to his personal struggle(although kids are teased all the time about a multitude of things), but a divorce situation is not necessarily traumatic. * Prince stated in an interview that he was often purposely difficult with his Stepfather - no doubt he may have regarded him as the reason for the breakup of his family. I read that when he asked Andre if he could live with his family, his Mother called and spoke to Bernadette, Andre's Mother, to discuss the arrangements and confirm that it was okay. I dont' think it was a situation where he was forced from her home, and she did not know or care where he was staying. She knew that Andre's Mother would take care of him, and also that his Mother supported the music and was very involved with it. Prince wanted to play music, and he knew he would get the support at Andre's, and also the ability to collaborate with Andre there. However, I think in Prince's mind, he felt abandoned by his Mother - whether due to this or other reasons. When she attended his Purple Rain concert he put a note on her chair that said, "This one's for you", so he clearly still had some type of bond with her. * The song "Papa" is intense for sure, and no doubt if it's true that memory stuck with him. However, discipline was often quite harsh back then compared to today. Kids were often hit and/or beaten with belts - it was usually a physical form of punishment. I don't think "time-outs" even existed back then. In his interview with Larry King in 1999, when asked about his Father being very rough on him he said, "well, he was a strict disciplinarian. All Fathers were back then. It taught me right from wrong". I'm sure there were some rough moments with his Dad, but by all accounts, he thought very highly of him, wrote music with him, and they became very close. * The song "Sister" - TrivialPursuit stated this on another thread, and I believe I had read this somewhere too - the inspiration came from the Nuns who washed his car on one occasion. They made him wait on the sidewalk or street, because they were uncomfortable with his appearance. He had his huge Afro at the time, and I'm sure he was dressed in his unique way, so they were a bit freaked out by him. Hence the lyric, "oh Sister, don't put me on the street again". Whether he added the incest story to go with the theme of the Dirty Mind album, or it really did happen with one of his Sisters - is still a mystery. Anything is possible. * I think the "abused and abandoned" stories added to his mystique and interest by the fans, so he wasn't going to counter them, or correct any misinformation. As he wrote in OF4S about his childhood friends talking to the media, "chump change to unravel the mystery, but life ain't no fun without fantasy". No doubt he did not have the "Leave It To Beaver" or "Father Knows Best" childhood, so certain things stuck with him, but I don't think it was filled with constant trauma. I think his way of dealing with things emotionally was complicated and complex, which helped to give us all of the great music.
Just my thoughts
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My point was that I do not think Prince began taking Opioids for any reason other than to reduce or eliminate his physical pain. I have that view based upon the investigative documents regarding when he began taking the meds, which occured after his hip surgery. My Father had hip surgery as well, and was prescribed the strong pain meds. This is common practice. He opted not to take them, but many need them in order to deal with the recovery. * I understand there are various reasons why people turn to drugs and become addicted - emotional pain, physical pain, social influence, etc. I was only stating what I felt the initial reasoning was for Prince using the meds. Whether it became something else I don't know. * I used the example of the LoveSexy tour in relation to my point. Prince often sang throughout the years about his views on the negative effects of drug use - not just during that time. My use of the term "recreational" was meant to describe drug use that is not prescribed by a Doctor, and/or needed for medical purposes. | |
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Bodhitheblackdog said:
....and being so in touch with his feminine side VALIDATED those emotions for women and enpowered them in their sexuality...would love to see a whole thread about how Prince's sexuality impacted both men and women and opened them up to the possibilities of broader and deeper emotions as a human being WITHOUT being constrained by gender norms. Validated. Yes. That would be a great thread...i have thoughts on this. There is something of a theme among many of the women Prince had love affairs with that I've noticed that I think is telling but I won't get into it here. | |
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I am more inclined to believe that drug or alcohol usage initially is recreational if it is started in social settings. Once addiction sets in, obviously, it is no longer recreational. If Dr. D is correct, P was a long time user who partake in drugs in order to work and deal with social anxiety. If he is wrong, then P was a private user who more recently started. But in both scenarios, there is no indication of recreational usage at any point. He didn't seem to like drug using. To him, it was probably always medicinal in his mind.
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Purple - I agree. I think he wanted a "clear head" in order to be able to record and perform at his unusually fast pace. | |
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I wasn't really considering Dr D, and I don't think those are the only 2 binary option. It's possible Prince used opioids on and off over the years, not continuously, and maybe for different reasons at different times or a combination of reasons, maybe some he didn't even acknowledge to himself. - I'm saying that not because I claim to have knowledge of the inner workings of prince's mind, but because people in general are often complicated, driven by more than one motivation, are facing more than one challenge at a given time, have problems and behaviors that change over time, and often struggle with tensions between their beliefs and their actions. - I think in general, any person whose use of substances is extensive enough to evolve into addiction has underlying issues -- whether physical, psychological/emotional, or in many people a combination (we've talked quite a bit here how physical struggles can exacerbate emotional ones and vice versa). - I just think it's reductive to assume "prince didn't like getting high!" as if desiring the effect that substances can have on your mood or emotions is such a shocking or unacceptable thing. Many of us drink alcohol on occasion, for example, and I think we'd be lying if we said that we the "buzz" or relaxation that comes with it isn't part of the appeal.
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I do think P's childhood wasn't sunshine and roses. I don't think it was as bad as the Purple Rain movie implies but I think it was more difficult than just a kid dealing with his parents divorce. For one thing, I can't imagine the teasing he got at school (very small, pretty, biracial looking, socially awkward, weird name, epileptic seizures....people used to call him "Princess" in school and there were social workers looking into helping him.) I have a 12 year old son with anxiety issues, and there is no way in hell I would let him move in with his friends rather than deal with his problems at home. If he felt he needed music to express himself, I would let him use the basement to practice in my own home (even if it kept me up nights and pissed off my hubby) before I would let him move somewhere else. I think it is possible that P was somewhere low on the autism spectrum (maybe brought on from his epilepsy). He obviously had fond memories of his dad's musical inclinations (Tyka described how the family would gather around the piano before dad left.) Prince, after the divorce, seemed to want to heal through connecting musically to his father and it sounds like the household under Haywood was a my-way-or-the-highway environment and had some hard discipline (being locked in closets, picking dandy lions etc) . Tyka, if she is to be believed, stated that P's mom was a workaholic with two or three jobs and wasn't home much. The way I see it is that an undersized son with social anxiety and loneliness and a passion for music that was being curtailed by strict parents was being emotionally neglected by the fact that the household he lived in seemed like an intolerant and solitary place. He needed a family and guidance to deal with being the unique person he was (small and light-skinned and possibly autistic in that school environment must have been hard) and an avenue to express himself and he found it elsewhere. In that sense, he was emotionally abandoned by his family.. Rather than make "accommodations", they just let him go live somewhere else. Working with autistic kids, the word "accommodations" is a frequently used word in my job...so I know how families work to deal with these problems and it has never been just letting their kids move in with their friends' families. I don't doubt that his parents loved him but I do feel they let him down by being ill-equipped or too stubborn to deal with a kid with his complex emotional needs. When P said, presumably to his mother in WHen Doves Cry..."how could you just leave me standing alone in a world that is so cold" --that "world" could have been his own home. Imagine what he was feeling, his mother is out there saving the world through her social work and meanwhile her son is thinking "Well, what about me??" I assume that Mattie was so used to hard cases (beatings, physical neglect) that P's problems seemed insignificant in comparison or she was in denial. I know this was a different time but that is not an excuse for everything.
[Edited 6/13/18 8:09am] | |
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Rednblue, VioletCrush, Herb4, Disch-Please keep posting! I feel that all of you are sharing nuanced, deeply insightful,compassionate views re: Prince. I have been craving a less black-and-white analysis. The mention of his drug-use as a complex web of need with both physical and emotional components was so eloquently stated (only one example)I hope we can all stay on your level moving forward.
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Yes Purple - all of those things contributed to Prince's emotional issues and complexities; however, I think he was innately complex and had social anxiety disorder. You are right - he did not have enough of a stable and nurturing environment to combat or improve those issues - they worked against him. From a cultural standpoint, I think most women had to work to move the family ahead. Andre has spoken of this too. His Mother went back to school, and advanced her career in order to move them into a better neighborhood. However, it seems she was still able to be present and available for the kids. I'm sure that Prince's conflict with his Stepfather contributed to the issues with his Mother. He may have felt she was "choosing" Hayward over him. No question all of the issues within his family and his surroundings intesified his emotional struggles. | |
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It also seemed his father was preoccupied with his music and absent which left his mother with most of the child-rearing duties. This lead to a fair amount of fighting followed by a divorce where his mother was working many jobs etc. Later she remarried etc. What I am alluding to is that he did not have ongoing nurturance from his parents as they were other-wise unavailable most of the time, (his mother was likely exhausted from working and away quite a bit, then remarried, and his father was consumed with his own career). It seemed there was little of the attention necessary for a child to feel valued for most of his childhood. I read in one of his biographies that he felt he and Tyka were "mistakes". He also mentioned when talking with Oprah that he practiced for hours and hours at home which, to me, implies an aloneness and perhaps a means to escape difficult feelings. It seems though, that he experienced a closeness with his mother after he was established.
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Please don't EVER address me,reply to my post, or send me anymore Org Notes again. "That mountain top situation is not really what it's all cracked up 2 B when was doing the Purple Rain tour had a lot of people who knew 'll never c again @ the concerts.just screamin n places they thought they was suppose 2 scream." | |
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where did you see that? i haven't seen him do splits anytime after the 1999 special show.
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Dr. D is an interesting factor, just the fact that he says the drug use went back that far would pretty much blow all the other associates out the water who said he was clean in the 80's, if that was true. I happen not to believe him, just based off what he said about Prince having stage fright, that part was laughable, prince loved the stage, probably where he felt most at home. Seen a few opinions that differ from that but I believe he loved being on that stage.
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damn, yall be getting feisty. | |
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It was during the HitnRun Tour shows which I attended twice. "That mountain top situation is not really what it's all cracked up 2 B when was doing the Purple Rain tour had a lot of people who knew 'll never c again @ the concerts.just screamin n places they thought they was suppose 2 scream." | |
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I don't believe it was during the 1999 special, although it might have been. It was the same performance where he did Darling Nikki with the dancer who came out in a "school girl" outfit. She put her skirt over his head and danced around him. Pretty sure it was at one of his concerts, but it could have been part of the 1999 show. It was posted on YT awhile ago. | |
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Yes, correct on all points, I think. In a written interview about the movie Purple Rain and how closely it mirrored his life, he said the scene where his Mom was crying was the only part that was true to his own life - and I don't think the crying was due to his Dad physically abusing her, but probably more due to her feeling alone and/or frustrated with their situation. I agree that, at least for stretches of time after the success of PR, he was closer to his Mother - and definitely his Father. I think he probably always felt somewhat abandoned by his Mother though. Watching his intense performance of 'Motherless Child" in 1999/2000 time frame shows he really connected with that song. | |
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Pete - just looked back on Princevault.com, and it jogged my memory. I'm pretty sure it was the November 11, 2000 Phila. PA show. Try searching for it on YT. It was out there for awhile.... | |
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Chocolate - yes. Pretty sure the clip I saw of Darling Nikki was the Nov 11th Philly show.... | |
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Pete - I definitely do not think Prince had anything to do with drugs in the 80's - at least not until the sort of "well chronicled" Ecstacy episode toward the end of '87. The Engineers, band members, girlfriends, and everyone in his camp have stated numerous times that he did not touch drugs, and would also not be seen drinking alcohol. Wendy tells the story of the big fight they had (that resulted in her and Lisa almost quitting the band before their Hit-n-Run tour), because she was photographed with a can of beer in her hand after the Sheridan UTCM premier concert. Now, whether he did things privately in the 80's that he shunned publicly, I guess we may never know, but I think it would have been hard to hide for such a long period of time, especially back then, as he spent so many hours with his band and associates. | |
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i will thanks, i've heard he did splits post 1999 but never seen it for myself. | |
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ya, i only heard of him having the occasional drink of wine in those years, as in, they said he was "tipsy" when he recorded "How Come U Don't Call Me Anymore" but I never heard a thing about drugs until the infamous excstasy episode, i think the first time I heard of that story was the musician magazine in about 88, or it could have been Poplife, but it was pretty well known that he had at least done excstacy.
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Yes, I think possibly the reason he had such a strong "trip" on the E was because he was not a drug user, and he was also a small guy. I have my thoughts on the things that drove him to that "dark" point and wanting to try the drug, but I will keep them to myself, as they would no doubt start a firestorm of debates here!! He did occasionally have a drink or two - usually wine I think. He mentions this in Insatiable - "I had a little wine, never anything stronger, so baby, I'm a little gone. Yeah, that's what I'll blame this on..." Also, in Alan Light's 1993 interview he writes about he and Prince drinking Port during the interview. | |
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He must have stopped the splits after that tour. He definitely didn't do them during the Musicology shows and beyond. Let me know if you find it - my search came up with nothing... | |
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Oh, and also - Steve Parke has stated that Prince told him when he was 5 yrs old someone (he didn't specify who, but most likely one of his older siblings) took him to see the movie Psycho. So, I think lack of parental nurturing, poor choices by parents/siblings, childhood teasing, being bused to an all white Elementary school, and too much time alone all factored into worsening his innate complexities. | |
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