OzlemUcucu said:

PurpleDiamonds1 said:

OzlemUcucu said: Feel like this too...loved the picture Both the sun and the moon setting in the ocean reminds me of Prince.

I know why he reminds me of the sunet.

He was huge yet smooth like a quiet ocean. Distant yet very near with his sparkling lights reflecting on the ocean. A very unique special human being. He touched me with his art in so many ways that no one else could have. I am so glad that I was part of this fan experience for such a long time. It's been a good journey with Prince. God I am getting a little poetic now, but I begin to miss him more every day.

Thanks so much for sharing your beautifully poetic descriptions of Prince in nature. He was a force of nature, so it is fitting to find him in nature! "This is it"

Vannormal said:

I only want to add this: when you lose [sp] somebody dear to you, close or far, you will never ever get over it. No one really does. And that's OK. You'll (try to) accept after (some) time what's missing, but the missing itself will remain (for a long time) either painful or acceptable. The lack of that particular love or friendship is irreplaceable. And all that is OK too. That's just all life is about.

And melodrama (basically always) says a lot more about your own state of attention or being than the situation you're trying to show and how to deal with it.

I think the term "getting over it" is indicative of not feeling anything anymore, and not caring; like not getting a promotion or missing out on the homemade donuts at the farmer's market. That's why it's a dangerous approach and term in situations like this. That's why I said these are the cards on the table. This is the hand you're dealt, and you must play the cards. It's about accepting the new norm, which in this case is Prince not being alive. There's always going to be some pain, but I do believe that eventually the good outweighs the bad again, and our discomfort is minimal compared to the annals of memories.

Agreed about melodrama. It seems a bit distracting to constantly read "can't talk, more tears, can't believe it's real, day is ruined". Yes well, believe it. Not believing it won't change it. I question some fan's actual tearful moments. Some, not all.

But again, I agree that while grief is a personal process, that type of melodrama only reinforces the distraction from reality in someone's head. But, that's their own burden to carry.

I have "Accepted"reluctantly...

Everybody is saying he is gone...its all over, slapping my face left and right...

but "Closure" ?

I dont know....

I cant help wonder if Id be feeling differently If Prince had left his Body in his sleep ?

Talking to a NEW friend of mine this morning..one I met because of LOVE for HIM...

We talk daily, check in with our feelings....She had been thinking deeply about the relevance of his life...

THese words came to her

"Live life, go on, and take me with u.

If I hold this in my mind...well...

THats as close to closure as I think I am ever going to get....

TrivialPursuit said:

Vannormal said:

I only want to add this: when you lose [sp] somebody dear to you, close or far, you will never ever get over it. No one really does. And that's OK. You'll (try to) accept after (some) time what's missing, but the missing itself will remain (for a long time) either painful or acceptable. The lack of that particular love or friendship is irreplaceable. And all that is OK too. That's just all life is about.

And melodrama (basically always) says a lot more about your own state of attention or being than the situation you're trying to show and how to deal with it.

I think the term "getting over it" is indicative of not feeling anything anymore, and not caring; like not getting a promotion or missing out on the homemade donuts at the farmer's market. That's why it's a dangerous approach and term in situations like this. That's why I said these are the cards on the table. This is the hand you're dealt, and you must play the cards. It's about accepting the new norm, which in this case is Prince not being alive. There's always going to be some pain, but I do believe that eventually the good outweighs the bad again, and our discomfort is minimal compared to the annals of memories.

Agreed about melodrama. It seems a bit distracting to constantly read "can't talk, more tears, can't believe it's real, day is ruined". Yes well, believe it. Not believing it won't change it. I question some fan's actual tearful moments. Some, not all.

But again, I agree that while grief is a personal process, that type of melodrama only reinforces the distraction from reality in someone's head. But, that's their own burden to carry.

What are some ways you two find helpful in dealing with the loss of Prince in your daily lives?

malbena said:

OzlemUcucu said:

I know why he reminds me of the sunet.

He was huge yet smooth like a quiet ocean. Distant yet very near with his sparkling lights reflecting on the ocean. A very unique special human being. He touched me with his art in so many ways that no one else could have. I am so glad that I was part of this fan experience for such a long time. It's been a good journey with Prince. God I am getting a little poetic now, but I begin to miss him more every day.

Wow! What a profound description

I say you should write a poem and share with us.

I am not good at it at all, but I just described the feeling I had when I saw the huge red sunset the other day. I felt a different grasp of breath for a moment. When I closed my eyes I felt all what he must have meant to me, in my universe - while the sun lights were reflecting in a unique way. It felt good looking at the distance thinking / feeling he is out there still shining on us. We know he was one of a kind. He is the biggest star out there in the universe. I am very content knowing this now. I don't have to worry anymore. It used to be too dark around him.

You can tell I am missing Prince, right?!

OzlemUcucu said:

malbena said:

Wow! What a profound description

I say you should write a poem and share with us.

I am not good at it at all, but I just described the feeling I had when I saw the huge red sunset the other day. I felt a different grasp of breath for a moment. When I closed my eyes I felt all what he must have meant to me, in my universe - while the sun lights were reflecting in a unique way. It felt good looking at the distance thinking / feeling he is out there still shining on us. We know he was one of a kind. He is the biggest star out there in the universe. I am very content knowing this now. I don't have to worry anymore. It used to be too dark around him.

You can tell I am missing Prince, right?!

We all do and many believe they'll never find closure and will miss and remember him for the rest of their lives. He has touched fans in so many ways and for so long. He will forever remain in many people's heart.

I like your personal illlustration and connection with the sunset...what a feeling!

NO, but we are strong and he has given us enough.

We can live with awful realities such as this, and do him proud.

OzlemUcucu said:

PurpleDiamonds1 said:

OzlemUcucu said: Feel like this too...loved the picture Both the sun and the moon setting in the ocean reminds me of Prince.

I know why he reminds me of the sunet.

He was huge yet smooth like a quiet ocean. Distant yet very near with his sparkling lights reflecting on the ocean. A very unique special human being. He touched me with his art in so many ways that no one else could have. I am so glad that I was part of this fan experience for such a long time. It's been a good journey with Prince. God I am getting a little poetic now, but I begin to miss him more every day.

This sunset reminds me that Prince is everywhere shining bright, warm and alive. He is a part of everything that exists and lives. It must be what ecstasy feels like. However I do miss his earthly presents and I’m sad I won’t be able to anticipate what he’s up to next. Plus I have to let go of the idea that I might meet him some day

1Sasha said:

One way to channel grief is to help others in many ways. I don't have much free time so I end up donating, and now I do it in loving memory of Prince Rogers Nelson. Most recently, I had a large brick engraved with his name; the brick is to be installed in a community center courtyard. You could support the local animal rescue, or arts programs for children. All in his memory.

This is one of the most beautiful posts I've read on the org, thank you for sharing.

[Edited 9/28/16 22:42pm]

No! It's gonna take a while. Although not the same terrible pain as losing a family member or dear friend, it is the worse I've ever felt over the loss of someone I did not know personally. I still find myself thinking about Prince and nodding my head in disbelief. Still a little surreal.

SquirrelMeat said:

malbena said:

No.

I thought I would, but when I listen to him ("Starfish & Coffee" is currently playing) I just can't seem to be able to think that the guy singing the vocals is dead.

TrivialPursuit said:

Vannormal said:

I only want to add this: when you lose [sp] somebody dear to you, close or far, you will never ever get over it. No one really does. And that's OK. You'll (try to) accept after (some) time what's missing, but the missing itself will remain (for a long time) either painful or acceptable. The lack of that particular love or friendship is irreplaceable. And all that is OK too. That's just all life is about.

And melodrama (basically always) says a lot more about your own state of attention or being than the situation you're trying to show and how to deal with it.

I think the term "getting over it" is indicative of not feeling anything anymore, and not caring; like not getting a promotion or missing out on the homemade donuts at the farmer's market. That's why it's a dangerous approach and term in situations like this. That's why I said these are the cards on the table. This is the hand you're dealt, and you must play the cards. It's about accepting the new norm, which in this case is Prince not being alive. There's always going to be some pain, but I do believe that eventually the good outweighs the bad again, and our discomfort is minimal compared to the annals of memories.

Agreed about melodrama. It seems a bit distracting to constantly read "can't talk, more tears, can't believe it's real, day is ruined". Yes well, believe it. Not believing it won't change it. I question some fan's actual tearful moments. Some, not all.

But again, I agree that while grief is a personal process, that type of melodrama only reinforces the distraction from reality in someone's head. But, that's their own burden to carry.

What are some ways you two find helpful in dealing with the loss of Prince in your daily lives?

Like F No!

Like where have u been since 4/21?

Seriously

Did u have to ask?

Vannormal said:

malbena said:

What are some ways you two find helpful in dealing with the loss of Prince in your daily lives?

(Sorry fore that typo there. I'm not English or American... I'm just a Belgian who's only good in Dutch and French.) you probably will find more... - What I meant with the use of the frase/term "getting over it", is that it's basically impossible to arrive somewhere in time with a certain peaceful acceptance to someone dear to you who passed away. My mother did 23 years ago, my best fiend 25 years ago, and some others dear to me during the past decade. Probably it also has something to do with my age. At a certain point in your life you start to 'lose' more people around you, that comes with life. So, I learned one thing, grief is absolutely personal, and everyone has the right to experience it in a very personal way. Maybe private even if you like. That's how I deal with loss and pain. (depends how one copes with real emotions within oneself). I personally only talk about it to the ones I trust, love. It's also vice-versa. I'll never take private space and time of others I don't know well for that matter. No matter how open they are towards me. I don't really believe in group grieve either. Although I'm prettty sure it works for others. My personal grief about Prince his dead hasnt even started... It'll take time, you know that horrible matrix, time. I understand he's dead ! Very dead by the way. Boom ! A couple of hours later even cremated and all ! Wiped off the earth, just like... that ? Unbelievable, but a sad dry truth. I'm hoping for a new album to arrrive, some sign a fan likes. Something to ease the pain a bit. Prince was a lot about to new music. Just like he was all about being a great performer. So, No concerts anymore no new music at least for now. It's all about that. Least for me. My grief will start there somewhere I think.... don't know...

Cremation within 24 hours is a very cold thing to do. It's even more brutal to do an autopsy immediately within 12 hours. They usually do that kind of thing if someone was butchered and it was a crime scene.HE did not even have a chance to come back even if... How they managed this is in itself an absolute brutality. I never heard anything like this happening before thank God.

Visited MPLS a few weeks ago and made the trip out to PP, FirstAve, Uptown etc and it helped a bit with more acceptance but closure???

NO WAY.

panpac777 said:

Like F No!

Like where have u been since 4/21?

Seriously

Did u have to ask?

Easy there panpac777. There was no ill will intended by the original poster, there's nothing wrong with showing and voicing concern over how fellow orgers are doing with their healing process. I'm sending you a hug because you need it

[Edited 9/26/16 11:59am]

TrivialPursuit said:

Vannormal said:

malbena said:

I think the term "getting over it" is indicative of not feeling anything anymore, and not caring; like not getting a promotion or missing out on the homemade donuts at the farmer's market. That's why it's a dangerous approach and term in situations like this. That's why I said these are the cards on the table. This is the hand you're dealt, and you must play the cards. It's about accepting the new norm, which in this case is Prince not being alive. There's always going to be some pain, but I do believe that eventually the good outweighs the bad again, and our discomfort is minimal compared to the annals of memories.

Agreed about melodrama. It seems a bit distracting to constantly read "can't talk, more tears, can't believe it's real, day is ruined". Yes well, believe it. Not believing it won't change it. I question some fan's actual tearful moments. Some, not all.

But again, I agree that while grief is a personal process, that type of melodrama only reinforces the distraction from reality in someone's head. But, that's their own burden to carry.

What are some ways you two find helpful in dealing with the loss of Prince in your daily lives?

[/quote There aren't helpful ways I'm affraid. The only thing that can help is what you think is best for you to do. Guidance by others often is a (very) bad solution. Try to rely on yourself. If you're truely honest with yourself, you know how to deal with it. [Edited 9/26/16 11:50am]

Not always a bad solution! OzlemUcucu has written a nice note after looking at the sunset. This inspired me to write and expres feelings that way. Someone else has mentioned accepting instead of closure and moving on with it. I find these are powerful ways that can help.

panpac777 said:

Like F No!

Like where have u been since 4/21?

Seriously

Did u have to ask?

See Mumio's perfect response to your questions.

[Edited 9/26/16 13:26pm]

OzlemUcucu said:

Vannormal said:

malbena said: (Sorry fore that typo there. I'm not English or American... I'm just a Belgian who's only good in Dutch and French.) you probably will find more... - What I meant with the use of the frase/term "getting over it", is that it's basically impossible to arrive somewhere in time with a certain peaceful acceptance to someone dear to you who passed away. My mother did 23 years ago, my best fiend 25 years ago, and some others dear to me during the past decade. Probably it also has something to do with my age. At a certain point in your life you start to 'lose' more people around you, that comes with life. So, I learned one thing, grief is absolutely personal, and everyone has the right to experience it in a very personal way. Maybe private even if you like. That's how I deal with loss and pain. (depends how one copes with real emotions within oneself). I personally only talk about it to the ones I trust, love. It's also vice-versa. I'll never take private space and time of others I don't know well for that matter. No matter how open they are towards me. I don't really believe in group grieve either. Although I'm prettty sure it works for others. My personal grief about Prince his dead hasnt even started... It'll take time, you know that horrible matrix, time. I understand he's dead ! Very dead by the way. Boom ! A couple of hours later even cremated and all ! Wiped off the earth, just like... that ? Unbelievable, but a sad dry truth. I'm hoping for a new album to arrrive, some sign a fan likes. Something to ease the pain a bit. Prince was a lot about to new music. Just like he was all about being a great performer. So, No concerts anymore no new music at least for now. It's all about that. Least for me. My grief will start there somewhere I think.... don't know...

Cremation within 24 hours is a very cold thing to do. It's even more brutal to do an autopsy immediately within 12 hours. They usually do that kind of thing if someone was butchered and it was a crime scene.HE did not even have a chance to come back even if... How they managed this is in itself an absolute brutality. I never heard anything like this happening before thank God.

Are you suggesting that Prince could have been revived?

Genesia said:

Are you suggesting that Prince could have been revived?

not yet

OnlyNDaUsa said:

TrivialPursuit said:

Closure is a construct, it's not real when dealing with death. You can't just close the love you have for someone because they're gone.

What is real is acceptance. Doesn't mean one has to love it, or like it. We often accept things we don't like, whether it's phone bills, shitty relatives, the Darth Vader voice on The Rainbow Children, or whatever.

We have to understand these are the cards on the table; this is the hand we've been dealt in the world of Prince. We have to play it. We can't fold out of this one. We can not buy a CD, but we do have to accept this. To deny this is real is to maneuver through an illusion. I get a bit weary of the "can't talk, tears again, unreal" melodrama.

Once we understand (stand under) the truth, then the journey to peace and appreciation can begin. Prince's own journey was his search for the truth, whatever it was. I think it's why he never said what "the truth" was because for each person it's different.

If we loved him, his music, and his life, then we should follow suit. Live in truth, appreciate what he did and the legacy we're all a part of, because in that he'll never be totally gone.

Wlcm2thdwn3 said:

I'm 63 years old and have loved Prince over half of my lifetime. My answer is NO. Maybe if there was something/someone that could take his place in this life, but there isn't, never will be.I can't move forward and I can't go back. So I come here.

[Edited 9/25/16 11:58am]

Exactly.

If acceptance is already hard, imagine closure...