Just when I think that I've accepted that he is gone, I think about how impossible that seems and how unfair it is. He was still touring, he was still creating, there was still more to come. I had concidered the possibility he would die while I was alive, but I figured he would be an old man and that I'd be able to accept his death of old age when that time came.

I wish I had a chance to see what else was in store, but more than that, I just wish he was still here. I'm sure he would have continued to excite us, tease us, irritate and anger us, and entertain us for many more years if he had made it to treatment.

CalhounSq said:

*dupe post from the the sticky*

It still swells up & comes out of my eyes, especially when I get to thinking I'm over it. About an hour ago I was catching up on some magazines I've been ignoring. Read the Chris Rock interview in an issue of Essence that's a few months old. He mentions how he tries to stay current with the music he listens to so he can relate to his teen daughters, & that they refer to his Prince tracks as "daddy music". THAT made me tear up I had Future Soul Song playing at the time, so it just gutted me for a second. & that's not the only time today that it hit me. I dunno man, this process is so long. I feel like there won't be a time when I don't mourn him on some level. I need enjoyment of him to kick in again, I fucking NEED that. Thank God for 20TEN - somehow I'm able to listen to that & mostly just enjoy it. There are times I skip Future Soul Song & Walk In Sand because they hit me too deep, but it's what I've been able to enjoy lately. I want the whole catalogue back in my life, but I'm still not ready. Maybe I need to just cry through it all, I dunno. I don't really have time to do that right now fuck

Today was the first tiime in a while that I got close to tears. My wife showed me some dumb thing on Facebook, the text of which was something about only listening to the music of dead people, and then several pictures. I don't even remember who all was there--I know Lennon was the first in the first of two rows of (about ten total) people, I think Hendrix was in that row, too. The second row started with Bowie, so I had a brief thought of "crap, it's recent, Prince is gonna be there," and of course he was. So his death got brought home again.

You know, I know all the time that he's dead, but much of the time I don't think about it even when I'm working on organizing my Prince-related music or looking for new stuff out on the internet. I've mostly stopped looking at the death/estate related threads here on the .org (I'm not sure why I decided to look at this one). I'm mostly approaching Prince in much the same way I did before. It's not like I'm expecting to read that a show's happening somewhere--I'm not crazy or anything--but checking for outtakes or a new soundboard isn't really that much different now. I still don't need 4 different bitrates of the same recording of "Work That Fat" or any other bizarre duplications in my collection, and I can spend lots of time trying to straighten that mess out without thinking much about the fact that he's dead.

He's too much a part of my mental landscape for me to have ever not thought of him--even when I was crying multiple times a day, a lot of the thoughts were still stupid Under the Cherry Moon jokes or random automatic lyric memories (I can't think of any examples right now, but 10, 15 times a day there are just standard Prince things that pop up every time someone uses certain words or phrases. I know I do the same ones constantly because I can see it in my wife's face. She doesn't always know the original contexts, just what I'm going to say in response to the trigger words). And most of those thoughts don't go deep enough to touch on the fact that he died. If they did, I wouldn't have a chance of getting past it.

Still can't believe he's gone. Whenever I hear anything about Minnesota, my mind instantly thinks about Prince, and then I think about Paisley Park, and how I will never get to see him there, and how he'll never be there again, ever! I think about how we will never see him pop up in this place or that one, or see him in concert again, or do an interview, hear his voice, etc, and it just breaks my heart all over again. I still get tears in my eyes when I think of him, and I haven't listened to his music fully, like I used to, since he passed. I just can't bring myself to listen to it just yet. I may sing a few lyrics of a song, and have heard a few in snippets, but have yet to play or listen to full songs the way I used to. My world is a lot sadder and empty without Prince in it.

4everinmylife said:

Don't want no bitching here, just want to know how you are all doing???

Me... Still in shock.

.

You might want to consider seeking some help if that shock is truely the case after close to two months.

The sadness comes and goes but I think I'm coming to terms with it now. I have accepted that he is gone and I try to move on and avoid thinking about it too much otherwise it hurts. I am also very grateful that I was able to meet him and hopeful that I will bump into him again in heaven one day.

CherryMoon57 said:

The sadness comes and goes but I think I'm coming to terms with it now. I have accepted that he is gone and I try to move on and avoid thinking about it too much otherwise it hurts. I am also very grateful that I was able to meet him and hopeful that I will bump into him again in heaven one day.

ldmendes said:

Can't stop listening to Prince. But that's 'arite. I'm improving, listening to artists Prince liked as well as Prince. My family thinks I'm losing it, so I have to do it on the down low.

My family does too. Haha. All but my 2 year old, who rocks out with me all day long. She is not yet sick of Prince, God love her! Haha. It's just all we listen to lately and she loves it. Every time another song comes on she say "Prince!" as if she's suprised and she's not heard a million others before it. haha RAISING HER RIGHT!

CROWNS1 said:

For me it's different with Prince than any other musician because so much was kept out of eyes and ears and now the internet is flooded and there is so much to watch and hear, it is unbelievable. I want to see all I can before the web sheriff takes it all away. I read on here from people that Prince was fine, he had what he wanted and did what he dreamed of...but there is something haunting about him. I feel a sadness around him that I just can't explain. Maybe it's just my own sadness and his death reminding me of my own mortality...I don't know. I can't put my finger on it really. I just can't shake the feeling that for all he accomplished, for all he had and for all he gave, there was a deep sadness there. I hope I'm wrong.

I know what you are saying. And yes all the stuff leaked out on youtube. Finally we can see him nonstop whenever we want, but the reason is because he's gone. It's like the best time to be a Prince fan and the worste time. I think that's one reason that many of us have been obsessed with non-stop Prince, because all this leaked stuff is back out on youtube and for those of us that didn't have all the boots, etc, it's like rediscovering him all over. Plus, we realize that we need to watch the stuff now, before it gets taken back down (which it has been of course). I watch him on youtube every night since his death. His death has hit me harder than I could ever imagine it would. To me, I don't think it's my own mortality, it just doesnt feel right that he's not alive somewhere in this world with us. Not that I would ever meet him, but the fact he was living and breathing and experiencing the same things in the world as we were seemed comforting. IDK Hard to explain. Plus, you somehow knew that things were gonna be alright with him in the world. It feels so bleak now.

babynoz said:

Militant said:

I cycle through all the different stages of grief. I've lost a lot of people close to me, and what hurts the most is that understanding of it. Like, I remember how the numbness feels. It's becoming a familiar process and that's the worst thing.


More than anything I miss just knowing that he was here with us. Somewhere, singing, writing, just.... here.

That's it exactly. I was content just knowing that he was somewhere doing whatever. Now it's like the world doesn't make sense anymore.

leslievette said:

derrick31 said:

I think about Prince everyday. I think about my own mortality a lot more now. I see life a lot differently now to be honest.

Same here. I've said on an older thread, I'm not really "afraid" of death anymore. I guess it's knowing that he'll be up there too...it's comforting in a way. However, it still seems unreal and I'm just waiting to wake up from this horrific nightmare

I feel the same way! My mom passed away last year as well. She was my best friend. She shared the same "postitive auora" that Prince did. And I know that they are both up in Heaven, and that does comfort me a little on my own morality to know, they will be there (wherever that is) when I leave this earth.

Friendlygal said:

I think the hardest part for me is being alone in my grief, as most of my friends and family were not big fans.. I loved Prince since I was a young girl but got busy with life and was not able to follow his career as closely as I wanted. Being here has allowed me to grieve with others who are also hurting. Thank you!

So appreciative of this site. You all know what I'm going through. When I try to explain to others, they just don't get it and think I need to move on or say I need therapy (jokingly). I just know that if you aren't really a true Prince fan...as in, if you didn't "get" him. If you were just a casual fan, you just wouldn't understand why it affects us so much. So glad there is a place where people do understand.

remko said:

It feels exactly like loosing a dear familymember or a close friend. One big difference is that in the process of mourning I am much more confrnted with the deseased as 'normal'. Relatives and friends don't have that muc music in my collectien, as many videos on Youtube or that much websited dedicated. Of course, it's me looking at those vids and sites. But that makes the overall process taking longer i guess.

Exactly. And the thing is, I'm learning more stuff about him as well as I see new interviews or hear unreleased music. And also going back over lyrics and rethinking the meanings, etc.

zoso1978 said:

Still very, very sad. I wake up and 1st thought is Prince. I read anything I can find. Watch videos. Read new posts here. Go to sleep thinking of Prince. I've only felt like this a few times: loved Elvis as a kid. Watched his (bad) movies when I was 7. He died when I was a hormonal teen and I was devastated. & when John Lennon was shot. Loved the Beatles & it was so shocking. But Prince....no, nope. Not right. He shouldn't be gone. It's been a tough year with David Bowie & Alan Rickman. Prince just broke me. I don't understand how I feel. But I read so many posts that so many here feel the same way. & it helps. I watched an interview of Prince last night in 2000. He's SO beautiful. My fav look, that sexy long hair. & funny! then I think "Prince is still here, somewhere." & then I realized that no, he's not. & how can that be?? So heart-broken at the loss of this beautiful man. :bluv

Alan Rickman was one on my favs as well. But when he died, I was dissapointed, but not heartbroken. Yeah. Prince broke me to.

NorthC said:

AnnaStesia91 said:

This year has been probably the worst I have ever had. I've had a miscarriage, an emergency surgery, split with my partner for good, lost my job, got evicted...AND PRINCE DIED ☹️. I'm getting through it by listening to his music everywhere I go but it's hard if I sit and think about it too long. Sorry I just told all my business. Rough year

Ouch! That's Murphy's Law coming down on you with an attitude. I'm just wishing you strength (and a sense of humour) to go through all this and as Prince said, there's always a rainbow at the end of every rain. I hope things will go better from now on.

I'm so sorry. Same here! Started with loosing my job early last year, then lost my mom to ALS in September, multiple smaller things going wrong (just financially and "bad luck" non-major things"), daughter getting diagnosed with Epilepsy (which thankfully, she has been doing fine so far), then Alan Rickman (which didnt hit me that hard, just was dissapointing) and then Prince. I thought maybe it was one giant year of dissapointment and loss all at once and hopefully it's over or ending. I hope the same for you.

I saw the Hollywood Vampires in concert on July 2 (Joe Perry, Alice Cooper, Johnny Depp). The premise is that way back when a group of rockers would meet and drink themselves senseless night after night in LA - they were the Hollywood Vampires. Well, the show starts out with photographs of the rockers and the only one still alive is Alice. You should have heard the audience gasp every time one of those stars was Xed out of life on the screen. We know these artists are gone, but it still takes your breath away. That is how I feel about Prince now. I can look at some of the videos, but not about 85% of them. Interviews: no. It is simply so very sad. I would honestly feel better if he had been medicating to hide a terminal, painful illness. At least then I would be able to rationalize that he would have been gone soon. The way it stands now the overdose was a one-off and that's it. So out of character for him, especially if he had been using for years. That is the rip your heart out part of it for me.

Days are slowly getting better. I don't cry as much anymore. My fear was/is that I'd forget him, that others would forget him, that the world would forget him. But being on the Org, seeing all the tributes and hearing stories from those who was around him has now calmed that fear. Yesterday, I had an awesome experience with a friend of mine who happens to be a local media personality. He never liked Prince's music because of his explicit lyrics back in the day. I convinced him to listen to Baltimore, and I saw his eyes light up! By the time the song was done, he insisted on having the CD. I gave it to him freely. Hopefully, Prince will be on rotation on our local radio station. It just made me feel soooo much better knowing that as long as we love and appreciate Prince, he'll always be relevant for generations to come.

roxy831 said:

thequeenofthekings said:

ldmendes said:

Can't stop listening to Prince. But that's 'arite. I'm improving, listening to artists Prince liked as well as Prince. My family thinks I'm losing it, so I have to do it on the down low.

My family does too. Haha. All but my 2 year old, who rocks out with me all day long. She is not yet sick of Prince, God love her! Haha. It's just all we listen to lately and she loves it. Every time another song comes on she say "Prince!" as if she's suprised and she's not heard a million others before it. haha RAISING HER RIGHT!

Aw that is so cute!

I'm still fascinated by Prince as much as ever so it's not really any worse than before. I watched some completely random video on Amazon Prime, "Prince the Glory Years", I had never heard of it. It was British and covered his years from 1978-1987. I liked the interviews with Dez and the other 2 guys (critics, DJ's? I don't know) I won't say I learned anything earthshatteringly new, but of course great stories and tidbits.

Looking back at the photos and clips of him they showed now makes it seem like a dream! I can't believe it's over and I lived through it! It kind of bothers me to know I feel like I will have to explain/defend/educate about Prince for the rest of my life. It saddens me still that his greatest performances aren't in a good video format and his estate continues to snatch things down from YouTube. I have been in a reflective mode about his career for many years anyway but still...wow, I can't believe he's gone.

And I want one more concert!!!!

I also decided to leave the various FB fan groups I was added to and unfollowed some people on Instagram. It was too much-- too distracting my feeds were nothing but Prince and Prince questions and Prince memes and Prince videos...when I came across a photo or video I used to really like back in it's heyday, that would make me sad.

Tomorrow is the 21st. It will be 3 months since our collective world changed drastically. I'm still having days where it's difficult, days where "Prince is dead" hits me like a ton of bricks and causes me to lose it and burst into tears. I haven't accepted yet and don't know when I will. I'm luckier than some though, my family is accepting and doesn't make it more difficult.

[Edited 7/20/16 18:31pm]

BillieBalloon said:

Only love can hurt like this [img:$uid]http://res.cloudinary.com/galore/image/upload/q_100/v1461264327/prince-in-musicology-promo-pic-ii1.jpg[/img:$uid] . [Edited 7/14/16 7:18am]

when I heard Prince sing only love can hurt like this............... the clip of the Atlanta show

.... whew it stroke a chord in my and to know He...... had confluence from the Geshia Soundtrack playing.............. in which is my Fav movie playing in the background

guess be4 the concert started makes me think....

Of the water statement ( in the Movie Geshia ).....

That water will make a way.... basically to get to where it needs or it's trail will lead it ..... and maybe there was a reason Prince was playing that particular song....

anyhow with ........that i'm still in denial.........

I believe in the forever Now... ....

sometimes we just have to step away.... it's (life)

I missed that concert ... I will always member ....... asking for ATL... I will never forget

I know He heard me.... so i will just have to hold it near and dear N my heart ...

Honeybabe...Honey's running......... the river is Sweet.....

[Edited 7/20/16 23:41pm]

oh and I forgot Lovelyone's Confluence means the joining of two rivers equally ...

Beautiful.. it Takes Prince to make you take a stop and listen to the signs....

Guys I feel really bad today for some reason. I had been doing so much better but today I woke up sad and I have been crying most of the day. I don't understand why I feel so bad it's not like I have lost someone who was really in my life. He just kind of walked beside me in a way that made my life so much better. Prince was the one thing I turned to when I was having some really dark times when I was young. His music was the one thing in my life that would always take the pain away. Every song mad me feel different. Now I just feel scared that he is not in the world with us to take the pain away. Thank God for you guys you seem to be the only people that understand how I feel and why this hurts so bad. I keep thinking I want to do something to show people how much he ment to me, but what can we do. I loved the comment on here about playing his music really loud in the car so other people can hear it. I think I have been doing that to. People around me have stopped being nice about it all now. I think they all think I should pull myself together now. This means that I am spending far to much time alone crying so everyone around me dose not think I have gone a bit mad. It really is a Prince thing. Thank you for giving me somewhere to express how I feel.