cardinal said:

wayhome said:

Cardinal said: think many of us feel we need to know why a beautiful soul and gifted artist left this earth so young.

I understand all of that, and no matter what i have said to you in the past, I respect you and what you are sayng. See, that is my piont, we will never know why, the why is not something we can answer. I think people get mixed up with that.

thanks, back at ya. we are all in pain no doubt. i guess we all experience this differently. medical and forensic work is quite advanced, so they will know the physical why, what disease/event caused death. as to the big picture why, i agree with you. we will never understand this. never. peace to us all.....

Our experiences are different and sometimes I, myself forget that fact. I have dealt with death alot in the past year. I have real trouble when someone get's too 'out there" about it.

I lost a good friend about 6 months ago because he coiuld not handle the death of his mother. He got all freaked out by it and started talking nonsense about his mothers death. He was obsessed with trying to find out why she died. The day before he was supposed to go to his first coiuselling session, he was found dead with a bottle of pills on the table next too him. He got too deep in his grief and never came out of it.

wayhome said:

oh my gosh i am so sorry.....

we all bring with us what life has dealt...its natural and its good that we can all share our different experiences with kindness and mutual respect. i think prince would be proud of many of the conversations happening on the org right now.

condolences to you...

cardinal said:

wayhome said:

Our experiences are different and sometimes I, myself forget that fact. I have dealt with death alot in the past year. I have real trouble when someone get's too 'out there" about it.

I lost a good friend about 6 months ago because he coiuld not handle the death of his mother. He got all freaked out by it and started talking nonsense about his mothers death. He was obsessed with trying to find out why she died. The day before he was supposed to go to his first coiuselling session, he was found dead with a bottle of pills on the table next too him. He got too deep in his grief and never came out of it.

oh my gosh i am so sorry...... we all bring with us what life has dealt...its natural and its good that we can all share our different experiences with kindness and mutual respect. i think prince would be proud of many of the conversations happening on the org right now. condolences to you...

Thank you, so you see, my experience with my friend has taught me two things. First, greif is a killer if one lets it go too far and wondering why someone dies can weigh very heavily on a person, in my friends case his obsessive want to know why and his inability to reason with that was in part the trigger that led him to his own death. Secondly, not being able to move forward with grief can sometimes lead very dark sinister places. No matter how much myself and others told him that he needed to move forward, he could not, even after almost a year. Towards the end of his life he started talking about his mother giving him signs, he claimed that he had gotten a sign from her that she alive. he would tell me that everytime I saw him. I remember when his sister heard him taking like that she had a emotional meltdown, she freaked on him, a few weeks later he was dead. his sister blames his extreme dwelling on greif for his death, no matter how we tried to help him, he never listened to us, he was so far into what he believed it ultimately became dangerous.

wayhome said:

I suppose the way we deal with death can often reflect how we deal with life...same issues and demons can come up. and your friend not being able to process it all in his grief ended up with him dead as well. just all so sad but also important lessons in what we can learn from others tragic experiences.

so much sadness, though.....

cardinal said:

wayhome said:

Thank you, so you see, my experience with my friend has taught me two things. First, greif is a killer if one lets it go too far and wondering why someone dies can weigh very heavily on a person, in my friends case his obsessive want to know why and his inability to reason with that was in part the trigger that led him to his own death. Secondly, not being able to move forward with grief can sometimes lead very dark sinister places. No matter how much myself and others told him that he needed to move forward, he could not, even after almost a year. Towards the end of his life he started talking about his mother giving him signs, he claimed that he had gotten a sign from her that she alive. he would tell me that everytime I saw him. I remember when his sister heard him taking like that she had a emotional meltdown, she freaked on him, a few weeks later he was dead. his sister blames his extreme dwelling on greif for his death, no matter how we tried to help him, he never listened to us, he was so far into what he believed it ultimately became dangerous.

I suppose the way we deal with death can often reflect how we deal with life...same issues and demons can come up. and your friend not being able to process it all in his grief ended up with him dead as well. just all so sad but also important lessons in what we can learn from others tragic experiences. so much sadness, though.....

I think the death of a parent can bring up a lot of unresolved issues as well as just grief. My brother had what could be called a nervous breakdown and I was worried for awhile that he'd end up being homeless because he wasn't listening to me. I don't get it myself, I mean, you grieve but you still got to survive and move forward. But then, I've been through a lot more than the average person.