Bohemian67 said:

I just cannot stand to hear one note of Purple Rain anywhere and have to slam it off immediately. It's become so haunting I don't know if I will ever be able to listen to it again.

Same for me. I can listen to pretty much everything except Purple Rain. That whole album is difficult. I think because that's literally the album that made me fall in love with him, I have that personal connection to it. Still too hard to listen to

2020 said:

Since his death I too have not been the same. I just cannot shake it and with each day it has not gotten better but a bit worse. I truly cannot believe he's gone and under such circumstances...it's beyond a tragedy

"not the same" is exactly right...its just so sad.

nursev said:

panpac777 said:

nursev said:You know the first week I was just a mess....just couldnt stop crying then I went to periodic crying Now Im able to listen to his music and function, but I feel kinda weird like disconnected from stuff I lay down at night, but I dont feel really rested. I just feel like something is missing within me and I cant correct it Ive been trying hard to feel like myself again, but its not working How do I get back to feeling like me again? Is it ever gonna happen? Just know that you are not alone. We all feel the same pain. The same emptyness, helplessness, FAILURE! I feel that way anyway. I failed MJ, Now I have failed Prince! I say that cause I should have known this would happen. It was just a few months ago I believe I saw that report about the WB deal on CNN or MSNBC and My heart fell! I knew this was going to happen in my heart anyway. My mind kept going no, He is too healthy. But I got the same sinking feeling as during last curtain call with mj and I should have done something. But how....u r so helpless.why didn't he have a bodyguard near his appartment or at paisley park...security guard.

This whole thing has just left me feeling empty inside. As fans there was only so much we could do U cant help someone if they dont ask for help I feel bad because I know if Prince had asked for help earlier he wouldve gotten it from us and many others. Then again I tell myself that maybe he was terminal and just wanted to be left alone and I can respect that. How can u hurt this much for somebody u didnt even know?

I know it's extremely hard to deal with but what you shouldn't do is blame yourself. As a fan, I've said on this board many times, in every way I could, for a long time that something just didn't seem right with Prince to me. I would have given anything to have been able to do something more and it hurts me so very much that I couldn't. But what I've come to realize is what happened was going to happen regardless and one day, I'm going to have to come to grips with that.

In the meantime and when all is said and done, I will be able to go on because Prince will ALWAYS be with me-- in his life's work and in the permanent residency he took in my heart. I wish that for all of us!

bambi777 said:

nursev said:

You know the first week I was just a mess....just couldnt stop crying then I went to periodic crying Now Im able to listen to his music and function, but I feel kinda weird like disconnected from stuff I lay down at night, but I dont feel really rested. I just feel like something is missing within me and I cant correct it Ive been trying hard to feel like myself again, but its not working How do I get back to feeling like me again? Is it ever gonna happen?

I made a post about this recently and I have been feeling the same way...like a part of me is missing.It's hard to describe...but I have been listening to other music for awhile,I had to take a break mentally from it all.It will get better..I promise.The org has helped me tremendously to get through this because I know I'm not alone in how I feel.My family is tired of me talking about it and they have been supportive but they tell me enough is enough.Just hang in there..we are here for you...

Nice post...I guess I really dont talk about it to anyone except u guys...no one else understands or theyre looking like this the whole time, but u guys have been wonderful.

I try to remember he's person, who has family and friends who are feeling this much more than we ever will. As a fan since 1981, yeah, it's so weird that he's gone. I was emtional for a few days and the thought of him being gone stirred something physical in me. But wow do he leave us a lot... 39 albums plus a lot more. The night he passed I just played everything on shuffle and was grateful to be a fan. My advice is don't force anything... we are gonna feel what we feel, when we feel it. It is what it is. I still have moments where I'm really down that he's no longer walking this earth with us, but I'm still grateful to have seen him live and to have been a fan all these years. Plus I feel like the rest of the world is now discovering what we here already knew - that he was one of the most talented people to have ever lived!

yep. me too. i am grieving for Paisley Park as well. for the building herself, which sounds funny, and also for the people i used to bump into and hang out with at parties. miss you guys!

.

today i found a big fold-out prince poster in the minneapolis star tribune and put it up on display. it's the first poster i ever put up featuring prince. first poster of any rockstar, actually. strange feeling.

[Edited 5/8/16 13:30pm]

Prince died and then it rained for 2 weeks here on the east coast. Then the last day it rained, I had a family member pass away at age 57, just like Prince. It has been a strange time and I'm glad there are others here I can share my feelings with. Talking to other people (non-fans) doesn't really seem to help. They don't have any connection to Prince other than liking Rasberry Beret, so it has been extra tough. Hang in there!

Like many of you, I have been a Prince fan for over 30 years. He and his music were in my life since I was 6. Yes, I saw Purple Rain when I 6 because my mother, a huge fan back then, could not find a babysitter . Thankfully, I was too young to have a long enough attention span to know what was going on, but the music from the movie was burned into my brain.

On that awful day, my husband called me from work to see if I had seen the news that Prince died. I thought he was joking. I couldn't continue the rest of my day. I was a mess. It's starting to get better and today, I started listening to his music again. That is bringing me comfort. Also, I have been thinking about him being united with his loved ones that departed before him- parents, babies, and Denise. That has helped a lot. I would rather have him here, but if I have to think of a positive, that's it.

Nursev: You will get back to yourself eventually. It will take time though. There are a few more days coming that will be like the heartwrenching first- autopsy results (if they are released to the public), anniversaries, televised tributes and such. Go easy on yourself. You can come here and not feel like a freak or everyone is looking at you like when you mention how upset you are over Prince leaving us so soon. I completely understand, I have gotten those stares too.

nursev and all others feeling this terrible loss.

purplegirl00 said:

Like many of you, I have been a Prince fan for over 30 years. He and his music were in my life since I was 6. Yes, I saw Purple Rain when I 6 because my mother, a huge fan back then, could not find a babysitter . Thankfully, I was too young to have a long enough attention span to know what was going on, but the music from the movie was burned into my brain.

On that awful day, my husband called me from work to see if I had seen the news that Prince died. I thought he was joking. I couldn't continue the rest of my day. I was a mess. It's starting to get better and today, I started listening to his music again. That is bringing me comfort. Also, I have been thinking about him being united with his loved ones that departed before him- parents, babies, and Denise. That has helped a lot. I would rather have him here, but if I have to think of a positive, that's it.

Nursev: You will get back to yourself eventually. It will take time though. There are a few more days coming that will be like the heartwrenching first- autopsy results (if they are released to the public), anniversaries, televised tributes and such. Go easy on yourself. You can come here and not feel like a freak or everyone is looking at you like when you mention how upset you are over Prince leaving us so soon. I completely understand, I have gotten those stares too.

nursev and all others feeling this terrible loss.

I'm in this odd place too and i cant find solace in the music - i feel like im turning my back on an old friend and i feel alternately ok and despondent without warning.

Bohemian67 said:

I know the feeling Nursev

.

I just cannot stand to hear one note of Purple Rain anywhere and have to slam it off immediately. It's become so haunting I don't know if I will ever be able to listen to it again.

its true

HatrinaHaterwitz said:

nursev said:

This whole thing has just left me feeling empty inside. As fans there was only so much we could do U cant help someone if they dont ask for help I feel bad because I know if Prince had asked for help earlier he wouldve gotten it from us and many others. Then again I tell myself that maybe he was terminal and just wanted to be left alone and I can respect that. How can u hurt this much for somebody u didnt even know?

I know it's extremely hard to deal with but what you shouldn't do is blame yourself. As a fan, I've said on this board many times, in every way I could, for a long time that something just didn't seem right with Prince to me. I would have given anything to have been able to do something more and it hurts me so very much that I couldn't. But what I've come to realize is what happened was going to happen regardless and one day, I'm going to have to come to grips with that.

In the meantime and when all is said and done, I will be able to go on because Prince will ALWAYS be with me-- in his life's work and in the permanent residency he took in my heart. I wish that for all of us!

You saw it too....Youre right he will always be with me...its just hard right now just realizing that he truly is gone.

sorry to hear that ,i know the feeling.I was in shock for two weeks the it hit me 2 days ago,and coudnt stop crying.I felt empty too,his music pulled me through a lot years ago and for prince to die is mind numbing.....i have never known loss of family or friends so i dont know how to handle this,so that didnt help....i hope you feel more connected and can feel better as time goes on

It is not easy but one thing I have been trying to do is remember how happy going to the concerts and listening to the music has been for me. That old sage advice think about all the good things. Of course than Snow or Rain comes on and it all goes out the window but I am trying.

nursev said:

You know the first week I was just a mess....just couldnt stop crying then I went to periodic crying Now Im able to listen to his music and function, but I feel kinda weird like disconnected from stuff I lay down at night, but I dont feel really rested. I just feel like something is missing within me and I cant correct it Ive been trying hard to feel like myself again, but its not working How do I get back to feeling like me again? Is it ever gonna happen?

.

.

I feel like this too.

2020 said:

Since his death I too have not been the same. I just cannot shake it and with each day it has not gotten better but a bit worse. I truly cannot believe he's gone and under such circumstances...it's beyond a tragedy

.

.

Same. I can't get over the fact I'll never again go to Paisley Park again and see him there, or get to see him perform again. Just the fact that he's not OUT THERE IN THE WORLD somewhere seems unreal to me.

XxAxX said:

yep. me too. i am grieving for Paisley Park as well. for the building herself, which sounds funny, and also for the people i used to bump into and hang out with at parties. miss you guys!

.

today i found a big fold-out prince poster in the minneapolis star tribune and put it up on display. it's the first poster i ever put up featuring prince. first poster of any rockstar, actually. strange feeling.

[Edited 5/8/16 13:30pm]

.

.

Doesn't sound funny to me at all. I completely get it. I live in the Twin Cities also and driving past PP will forever be a strange experience. I don't know how I'll ever drive past there and feel joy because of the memories I have of being there, instead of feeling wistfulness and sadness and grief.

Ive been able to listen to his music fine, some songs are harder to listen to than others, most of the time i forget he's gone, then i just bum myself out watching videos. i don't think it's properly set in yet. it doesn't feel quite right. i don't know. i can't believe it.

3rdeyedude said:

Prince died and then it rained for 2 weeks here on the east coast. Then the last day it rained, I had a family member pass away at age 57, just like Prince. It has been a strange time and I'm glad there are others here I can share my feelings with. Talking to other people (non-fans) doesn't really seem to help. They don't have any connection to Prince other than liking Rasberry Beret, so it has been extra tough. Hang in there!

.

.

and I'm sorry for the loss of your family member.

3rdeyedude said:

Prince died and then it rained for 2 weeks here on the east coast. Then the last day it rained, I had a family member pass away at age 57, just like Prince. It has been a strange time and I'm glad there are others here I can share my feelings with. Talking to other people (non-fans) doesn't really seem to help. They don't have any connection to Prince other than liking Rasberry Beret, so it has been extra tough. Hang in there!

I feel exactely the same.

nursev said:

You know the first week I was just a mess....just couldnt stop crying then I went to periodic crying Now Im able to listen to his music and function, but I feel kinda weird like disconnected from stuff I lay down at night, but I dont feel really rested. I just feel like something is missing within me and I cant correct it Ive been trying hard to feel like myself again, but its not working How do I get back to feeling like me again? Is it ever gonna happen?

What you describe is so similar to what I have been through so far. Today, I was listening to Prince all day, because I was totally unable to function without it. And yet at the same time, half of the time I was still very upset because I remembered that the music was all that was left from him.

My world just seems a little bit emptier knowing that Prince is no longer here on earth. It just seems odd to me, and still so very sad. Prince was so full of life, and if you're a Prince fan, you anticipated his next move, what he was doing, and where. To think that all of that has come to an end is just heartbreaking. I never knew that I would miss him so much.

This "disconnected" feeling, I guess that's the best way to put it. I feel like there has been a lot going on the last few years, at least in my own life where dear people have fallen ill or died, while every single day seems to present some new change/challenge... almost puts one in a soldier mode, where you don't relax, can't afford to, have to stay on your toes.

On that note was taking a much needed vacation, heading out to Phoenix for a week. When my flight landed and my phone came out of Airplane Mode, the phone "blew up" with texts from friends and family telling me that Prince had died.

That sums up my "disconnected" feeling. It's the marriage of happiness with sadness, right down to the moment. For a week I could not even mourn, didn't watch TV, really didn't check the web, etc. It's an inconvenient thing to be sad, when you need to take time to be happy, visit family, rejuvenate.

Literally 2 days later I found out that a cousin whom I was to visit on my trip had passed away the previous Monday. And the day after that the wife of a close friend back home passed away. I almost could not articulate the surreal feeling, almost like a resignation to the utterly bittersweet aspect of the everyday.

And the way 2016 had already infamously begun, with the passing of Lemmy, then Natalie Cole and most profoundly (to me) David Bowie, and the myriad other talented artists (including Vanity) in the ensuing months... it served to lessen some of the blow, actually. Like this is some massive cosmic conveyor belt of a year where the great ones step out.

Not that it still was not a surprise. Heard the news of his emergency landing, followed by the news that he was "OK" (or so was reported).

I've never posted here, although I set up an account 11 years ago. I apologise if this is off-topic or TL;DR or whatever. It's beautiful that there are so many that love their Prince. I had my own "love for Prince" which had seemed so long ago, but these weeks of generous YouTube uploads have brought me closer to.

To close, I am truly pissed off that I never saw Prince live. That I never met him and asked him any of the questions I'd mentally compiled over the years (such as, "Did you ever meet Michel Colombier, who scored 'Purple Rain'? If so, did you ever talk music with him, did he talk with you about Serge Gainsbourg, etc.?") I'm pissed off because I had just made a connection earlier this year with a lifelong Prince fan who was going to let me know next "secret" Prince show, and I was for sure going to it. And I'm pissed off that the world will never know what a collaboration between Prince and David Bowie would have sounded like, something I had mused about to my wife this past November.

I don't post anymore. Too many unpleasant experiences. But, I felt a deep need to add to this thread.

I have felt and still do feel disconnected, I just could not put a name to it and I am a freaking therapist. But more than that I am a musician. I haven't stepped foot into my studio since "the day." I can't bring myself to play one note. He stopped being my teacher years ago. But before our time as teacher and student ended he taught me how to play every instrument on my songs. Because of him, I taught myself how to read music.

I learned chord structure and progressions. He told me that I have a gift. Had it not been for him I would not have made it through my teens. Especially when my mother threw away my instruments. That is part of the reason why I had to settle for my plan "B" and become a therapist. For me, the last few years he was that favorite teacher from high school whom you would visit when you were in town. Every single concert that I have ever been to was a learning experience as were the songs and folios.

Thank God for boots because I was the fool not singing and dancing, but standing there the entire time, just watching. I especially loved seeing the backstage stuff. Such as when he would rise or be lowered from the stage, and I could see him adjusting his jacket or guitar, or giving his jacket to someone as he ran off his dressing room. Or when he would on the sly cue someone on the crew that they didn't change the lyric on the monitors. He would turn them into dance steps. But, I knew.

I am physically and emotionally ill. Because making music it's my food, water, and sunlight. Before all of this occurred, when I didn't play, write or record for a day or two, because of life happening. I was depressed. Once I returned to creating, I was rejuvenated. Now, I am withering away. I don't sleep, I worked just like he did. The only difference was that I had to stop for a moment and do other things. Four hours of sleep is a nights rest for me. I know the joy and pain of having music playing constantly in your head. It's a blessing and a curse.

When I sleep I have weird dreams that give me new songs. I awake, put on a pot of green tea, and I would record for eight to ten hours straight. And at the end, I would remember that I hadn't eaten, or used the bathroom. The most important dream that I have had recently involved me be given a song entitled "10:06." And I can't record it. I can only cry, go to work and get through the day somehow, come home and cry as the lyric and melody haunt me.

I don't think I will make it much longer. I suffer with depression and anxiety. I was finally feeling normal. And then it happened. And I am back to not wanting to live. I live to create and I create to live. What do I do now?

RobotDevil said:

3rdeyedude said:

Prince died and then it rained for 2 weeks here on the east coast. Then the last day it rained, I had a family member pass away at age 57, just like Prince. It has been a strange time and I'm glad there are others here I can share my feelings with. Talking to other people (non-fans) doesn't really seem to help. They don't have any connection to Prince other than liking Rasberry Beret, so it has been extra tough. Hang in there!

.

.

and I'm sorry for the loss of your family member.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

nursev said: