First I want to apologize. I have known about this message board for some years now, but I never visited all that often--not even to read what others were saying. I have never been one to visit sites like this because I have often witnessed a lot of hatefulness on the internet in general. For example, I have never had a Facebook page and I don't visit any of my friends' or family's Facebook pages. I guess that makes me an alien of some sort but I don't like the mob mentality that seems to accompany the anonymity of the internet.

But now I am a hypocrite--because in this time of grief, I came here shortly after Prince's passing and the board had recovered from its crash. I felt like I had to be in the presence of people who would understand my sorrow.

And quite frankly, it has been a blessing for me to come here and listen to you all pour your hearts out--cry together--reminisce together. So many of your sentiments echo my very own.

Like all of you, Prince's sudden passing cut my soul at it's core. I could not believe the news when I first heard. I knew it had to be one of those tasteless internet hoaxes. I mean, how could Prince die so young? Hell, how could Prince die at all? But he did and here we all are--still trying to cope. We are all trying to deal with the fact that someone who impacted all of our lives so deeply for so long is gone. I'm sorry for sounding like a harsh peson, but the reality of his passing is harsh. I have to keep reminding myself that this is not a nightmare that I'll wake up from. This is real.

With all that said, please let me explain my own personal connection to Prince. I know it is long winded, and if you choose not to read it all, I understand. It makes me feel better just to get these words out--even if not verbally.

I am a 47 year old husband and father. I first discovered Prince while I was visiting my cousins out in California in the summer of 1978. My uncle was driving us somewhere when I heard a lady with a great voice singing a song called Soft And Wet blaring from the radio. I remember commenting on how good she sounded and as if in response to what I said, the radio deejay actually made it a point to say that a new artist named Prince was responsible for that song–and HE was not a woman. That was the only time I heard that song until our trip to California was over and we returned home to New Orleans.

Since I was only 9 years old at that time, and things like the internet, smart phones, and digital media were a long way off, there was very little exposure for artists like Prince. I can remember seeing his album covers for both Prince and Dirty Mind in the record stores, but we didn’t have cable television yet. Also, MTV was the only video music network at the time and they did not show Black artists. Plus, at the end of the day, my Mother would have never let me have records that had such explicit lyrics and imagery. Anyway, I remember thinking that Prince was a lot like Rick James. He would just turn out to be a copycat flash in the pan artist. Boy, I could not have been more wrong. In my defense, though, as I said, I did not have much exposure to him. But that would all change when I started high school.

I started 9th grade in 1981 at the age of 12. This was a result of being skipped ahead and my birthday falling in November. So now I was hanging regularly with 14 and 15 year old kids; much more worldly and mature than I was of course. And they knew Prince. They knew Uptown. They knew Head. They knew Party Up. They knew Controversy, Do Me Baby, Sexuality, Annie Christian. They would come to school with Rude Boy buttons on their shirts. And they would tell me the urban legend about how Prince had masturbated onstage while on tour and released it into the audience. They would tell the other urban legend of him having sex onstage with girls he pulled from the crowd. Needless to say, being a boy about to enter full blown puberty, this piqued my curiosity.

The next year, I started getting allowance for doing chores around the house–$5.00 a week. I saved up enough money and bought Prince’s new album–1999. I know it sounds cliche, but it was an epiphany. The man spoke directly to me. He was like the older brother I never had. I had never heard anything like it in my young life. I had to listen to most of it with headphones so that my Mother wouldn’t find out what he was singing about, but that suited me just fine. I would fall asleep listening to it–from 1999 all the way to International Lover. I dubbed it on cassette so I could listen to it in my boombox and in my Walkman. Now I began to understand why my class mates wanted to be known as rude boys and why they were wearing trench coats.

The album 1999 was my formal introduction to Prince. But like most of you, it wasn’t just his music that was intoxicating. I was too young to know it at the time but this man–this genius influenced and inspired me in ways I could not even begin to understand. He transcended music, taught me what it means not to compromise what was in my heart, and made me understand that both spirituality and sexuality could co-exist within me. He taught me that it was possible to live a life in which labels did not apply. Music was music. Poetry was poetry. Art was art. People were people. It was just that simple. My eyes were opened and so was my mind.

Fast forward to the present and his influence is still there in my life. It's incredible when you think about it. I don't mean to force my views or opinions on anyone but I truly believe that God has a reason and a plan for each and every one of us. I believe that God blessed me with Prince and his music just like God blessed me with my wife and my son.

The closest I ever physically got to Prince was seeing the Purple Rain tour concert at the Superdome when I was 16 and seeing the Lovesexy tour concert at UNO Lakefront Arena when I was 20. I didn’t know Prince personally and he didn’t know me. So when I think about how I have been crying off and on since April 21st, I have to question my sanity. But after reading so much of what has been written here, along with seeing others break down and cry at the mention of his name, I know that if I am indeed insane, I am not alone. You all cry just like me. And I thank you for that.

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Thanks for sharing your story. It's not insane at all to be grieving like this.

The way I see it, there aren't many people in our lives with whom we can feel 100% comfortable being vulnerable. But with music, somehow there is a safety in the dynamic such that we let it reach our innermost selves - the good, the bad, and the ugly. There's a bond there - a sort of trust that ensues.

Prince's music was like that for many of us, and like you, it was also quite formative for many of us. I am who am in large part because of listening to Prince's music. He has had an influence on me to a degree that few people in my real life can claim. Heck, I wouldn't have even met my wife or had my son if not for Prince.

1999 was the album that hooked me as well. I had saved up my allowance money and my brother bought the tape for me in secret as my mother would not have approved at the time (though she loves Prince now).

Great post, DorothyParkerEyeWonderU!

I like it a lot because usually when there's a "How I became a Prince fan" post around here, it is from hardcore collectors, so they tend to be quick about the details and say things like "From the start! For You veteran... been a fan ever since.", followed by the number of concerts, etc. Your post is a little piece that gives you an idea about what it felt like to be very young and exposed to Prince in the early days. I also like the humility you display, the gratefulness.

For instance, I didn't know Prince was popular enough to prompt teenage boys to wear trench coats. I imagined that was only done post-1999 or port-Purple Rain.

Thanks 4 sharing