bigtimefan said:

I am at a lost for words, for me that's rare. I haven't cried, I haven't felt anything much these past few days, just numb. I just keep playing the music and starring into space. My half-sister first hipped me to Prince for real. One day she showed me his Dirty Mind album cover like it was a nasty mag lol. I was mesmerized by his daring sexuality. That is why I love him so (besides he's funky). Fine tuned to his female side (his twin), yet the male side was well defined and apparent. This is how I know he was guilded by Mother and I'm no different than any other woman, we love a sensitive/strong man. For me I guess he's not dead. Just transitioned. Like water. You can freeze it, but after a while it melts . Nevertheless, it's still water just in a different form. Such is life in this universe. Prince...Don't rest in peace. Spread your love throughout the world cause the world is in need. Don't rest in heaven because people are still dying on inner city streets at the hands of their protectors, racists, gangs, judges (who are the worst kind of gangsta). Religious fanactics have caused great world wide agony. Let your words and music open up the minds and hearts people throughout the world as they finally discover the legacy that is Prince. I love you baby.

So..... it's been a very very long time since I have posted on the org. I still come by to see what's going on but that's it. Of course with recent events I feel a need to say something. Not sure what since I have been feeling pretty empty since I heard that Prince died. Doesn't even look right typing it. When the news first broke it didnt even cross my mind that they were talking about Prince. Then a friend texted me around my lunch time saying that he died. I promptly called him and cussed him out for saying such horrible things and getting his news from untrusted news sources. I scolded him for believing everything that he reads on the internet. Then I got back to my desk and my boss came running over because he knows that I'm a fan. Asking me if I knew. I guess the look on my face caused him to say that the news was coming from trusted sources. I remember feeling dizzy and dropping everything that was in my hands and telling my boss that I coudn't talk right then. Felt like someone ripped something out of me and in the hole I was being filled with thick black smoke that prevented me from thinking and moving. I felt like this thick black smoke was filling my body and I couldn't feel anything but a mix of anger and sadness. By Monday I was feeling the smoke start to leave. But I'm feeling anxious when I wake up then I see the color purple in my mind and I feel better. It's crazy that I never meant him and I feel like this. I don't want to talk to anyone that doesn't feel the way I do about him because this isn't just news for me. I am experiencing a loss right now. I finally found someone yesterday that I could talk to and I got to thinking I should connect more on the org to find like minded people. I'm just grateful for the org right now. I've really needed to be able to come here during this time. I feel so bad for his family and people that knew him closely. Because they also have to deal with the fans that loved him so. I don't know what kind of world this will be without Prince in it. A piece of me still doesn't believe to this day that he is actually gone.

The physical pain is gone from my chest finally. But an hour doesn't go by that I don't think of him. I walked into the supermarket yesterday and saw his face everyone on magazines and stopped breathing for a moment as if I was punched in the chest and no one around me knew that all I wanted to do was break down and cry right there, it's so hard sometimes. I have started listening to each album in order today on my drive to work. I feel best when I am listening to the music, I think in a way I'm pretendng while he's singing in my car that this hasn't happened to us all.

But thankfully after 30+ years of having him in my life I got one my most invaluable lessons from him " Love is God, God is Love". Prince is with me, I will be ok.

4/21 was crazy

yeah, today i'm just feeling the brunt of the sorrow

from

when Prince passed on, on 4/21 of April, i'm thinking, at the time i heard it,

i was in shock/overloaded/in disbelief,

maybe more like an overload of hearing unbeievable words

that sunk into the very fiber of my being.

all the way into my heart and soul.

and all this emotion was based upon a 57yr old Prince who was gone.

i felt all this terrible info coming in at me via a car radio viz a south bay ca news station, KCBS

i didn't want to face

all this horrific info that came at me while i was out and about on a suny ca day.

so

since then i've been evading the time needed in processing this sad truth

while knowing

i have to come to the sorrowful and very sad realization in my life & face this new reality

now no longer can i (think) i feel (really feel) his presence in my weekly music listening moments.

every since 1978 i welcomed Prince into my life.

and have felt so cool the way he shared

his musical genius and intellect with me.

now he's gone

for the following i thank you Prince

-> for being a master music instrumentalist, vocalist and very confident musician

for being

-> a master lyricist

-> a master vocalist

-> a master body mover (man could dance )

a man that was so cool, confident and bold in his approach on to the musical landscape of this/my time & space.

his unusual looks of man beauty. his celebration of his maleness made me appreciate me more in being a female person.

his voical tones were the coolest fusion of jazz/gospel/funk/rock/and evolutionary pop. imo he was truly a rainbow and beyond as far as his talent went.

Prince was my wooly haired warrior.

i appreciated

-> his look ~ unique

-> his sense of style ~ bold, free, uncompromising

-> his growth in music - phenominal

-> his business acumen - courageous, shrewd and sharp

yes i loved his time and presence on this earth during my then/now time.

so yes missing Mr Prince Rogers Nelson has meant he gave me the musical feeling(s)

of new dimensions

in love.

today i'm truly missing him.

however having faith in me to be moving on is a necessity, so thank you prince for touching my life with beauty in song that you shared with me and mine so wonderfully.

i wil miss ur

"kiss"

on my life.

(i wore a purple crystal earring today in his/your honor)

thk u Prince several billion times, times infinity

FOR being YOU.

now

moving forward

with

and

great Prince Music Memories

(thank u for letting me share my Prince feelings of an emotional visual nature)

[Edited 4/30/16 20:28pm]

double post

[Edited 4/29/16 22:07pm]

When Doves Cry—Why the Lost Child Deeply Grieves the Loss of Prince

By Toshia Humphries Apr 23 2016

purplethunder3121 said:

When Doves Cry—Why the Lost Child Deeply Grieves the Loss of Prince

By Toshia Humphries Apr 23 2016

Wow, so beautifully put and well written. Thank you for this.

Wow, so interesting. This answers a lot of questions that I've even been asking myself. The funny thing is I see myself in a majority of those roles, including the scapegoat. My family tried very hard to turn me into the scapegoat but it just wasn't in my nature. Prince was a shepard for the lost children because he was one himself, I think. Thank you, Prince. This lost child will never forget the love and the family you gave her.

purplethunder3121 said:

When Doves Cry—Why the Lost Child Deeply Grieves the Loss of Prince

By Toshia Humphries Apr 23 2016

Though an entire nation of fans grieves the loss of Prince Rogers Nelson—simply known as Prince—there are those of us who are seemingly devastated in ways typically reserved for only family members and close friends. Yet, though we’ve never met him—and some of us might have never had the chance to witness his live performance—we feel a deeper connection than that of a mere fan. For those of us once in the role of a lost child, Prince was a caretaker and a trusted companion.

The lost child is one of five dysfunctional family roles. Essentially, this role is self-explanatory. The child loses themselves in music, books, movies, etc. Buried in his or her room—a safe haven from the storm raging in other areas of the home—the lost child straps on headphones or crawls inside a book or video game and escapes.

Characters in novels, actors in movies and artists behind songs become the guardians of a beautifully constructed fantasy world—one in which no pain, shame or abuse of any kind exists. These fictional personas, musicians and thespians unwittingly assume a savior role within our lives. They shield us from pain, death and rescue us from a certain destruction.

.

As such, when the world loses one of its celebrities, we lose a childhood champion, an emancipator and someone we indeed considered a member of our fabricated, fantasy family. Since most of us were surrounded by people who were emotionally unavailable, negligent and incapable of connecting, the latter is not a concept completely impossible to believe.

.

The lost child typically doesn’t have access to authentic relationships within the biological family. Family members are generally escaping their own realities with drugs, alcohol and other destructive means. They’re void of compassion and empathy. Essentially, even living in the same home, they aren’t any more accessible than Prince, himself.

.

Therefore, creating emotional bonds with artists who speak meaningful words of wisdom, share love and intimate emotional experiences through lyrics and masterfully produced songs is somewhat expected of a lost child. Additionally, the grief those of us who once identified as a lost child now feel is very real, regardless of the fantastical ways in which our deep, emotional connections were formed. Moreover, just as we needed and deserved the right to feel, grieve and express that experience in our childhood, we are still now entitled to that right in adulthood.

.

RIP, Prince. And, from this onetime lost child, thank you for saving me. You were appreciated and cherished in ways you could never know, and you will be greatly missed and celebrated, eternally.

OldFriends4Sale said:

Prince’s regular table at Dakota jazz Club, in Minneapolis, was adorned with roses to commemorate his death. Photograph: Ryan Felton for the Guardian

Aww, that damn near made me start crying again.

purplethunder3121 said:

i'm just adding my thoughts. i cant believe he has gone, his music enriched my life so much, as he did to us all. thanks to all for giving your thoughts, i'm not alone feeling empty.

I am missing Prince.

Empress said:

free2bfreeda said:

when U left us, there was a great global disturbance. U were/are so loved. U will be missed and at the same time U will be celebrated 4ever.

thx 4 ur great musical contribution to my/our world Prince.

Freeda

[Edited 4/25/16 11:11am]

This is beautiful. Thank you.

u too.

(note: page image refreshed)

Love isn`t love when it`s not forever. Anything else is liking.

You cannot stop loving. You just go on. Don`t try to fight it, it is easier this way.

Love the one`s you are with and when you turn on the music, he is right there.

He has given us so much. It will last for a lifetime.

I am looking forward to listening to all the goodies that will hopefully come out of his vault.

The only thing I am afraid of is that in a couple of years I won`t trust myself that I did actually experience all those wonderful, exciting, funky moments in concert. They were truely unbelievable! And not from thi earth:-)

[Edited 5/2/16 20:10pm]

purplethunder3121 said:

When Doves Cry—Why the Lost Child Deeply Grieves the Loss of Prince

By Toshia Humphries Apr 23 2016

Though an entire nation of fans grieves the loss of Prince Rogers Nelson—simply known as Prince—there are those of us who are seemingly devastated in ways typically reserved for only family members and close friends. Yet, though we’ve never met him—and some of us might have never had the chance to witness his live performance—we feel a deeper connection than that of a mere fan. For those of us once in the role of a lost child, Prince was a caretaker and a trusted companion.

The lost child is one of five dysfunctional family roles. Essentially, this role is self-explanatory. The child loses themselves in music, books, movies, etc. Buried in his or her room—a safe haven from the storm raging in other areas of the home—the lost child straps on headphones or crawls inside a book or video game and escapes.

Characters in novels, actors in movies and artists behind songs become the guardians of a beautifully constructed fantasy world—one in which no pain, shame or abuse of any kind exists. These fictional personas, musicians and thespians unwittingly assume a savior role within our lives. They shield us from pain, death and rescue us from a certain destruction.

.

As such, when the world loses one of its celebrities, we lose a childhood champion, an emancipator and someone we indeed considered a member of our fabricated, fantasy family. Since most of us were surrounded by people who were emotionally unavailable, negligent and incapable of connecting, the latter is not a concept completely impossible to believe.

.

The lost child typically doesn’t have access to authentic relationships within the biological family. Family members are generally escaping their own realities with drugs, alcohol and other destructive means. They’re void of compassion and empathy. Essentially, even living in the same home, they aren’t any more accessible than Prince, himself.

.

Therefore, creating emotional bonds with artists who speak meaningful words of wisdom, share love and intimate emotional experiences through lyrics and masterfully produced songs is somewhat expected of a lost child. Additionally, the grief those of us who once identified as a lost child now feel is very real, regardless of the fantastical ways in which our deep, emotional connections were formed. Moreover, just as we needed and deserved the right to feel, grieve and express that experience in our childhood, we are still now entitled to that right in adulthood.

.

RIP, Prince. And, from this onetime lost child, thank you for saving me. You were appreciated and cherished in ways you could never know, and you will be greatly missed and celebrated, eternally.

Thank you for this insight, which helps explain my deep connection to Prince and others. I also thank Prince for saving me. "Love God. May U live 2 see the dawn."--Prince

isobelfq said:

Wow, so interesting. This answers a lot of questions that I've even been asking myself. The funny thing is I see myself in a majority of those roles, including the scapegoat. My family tried very hard to turn me into the scapegoat but it just wasn't in my nature. Prince was a shepard for the lost children because he was one himself, I think. Thank you, Prince. This lost child will never forget the love and the family you gave her.

purplethunder3121 said:

When Doves Cry—Why the Lost Child Deeply Grieves the Loss of Prince

By Toshia Humphries Apr 23 2016

Though an entire nation of fans grieves the loss of Prince Rogers Nelson—simply known as Prince—there are those of us who are seemingly devastated in ways typically reserved for only family members and close friends. Yet, though we’ve never met him—and some of us might have never had the chance to witness his live performance—we feel a deeper connection than that of a mere fan. For those of us once in the role of a lost child, Prince was a caretaker and a trusted companion.

The lost child is one of five dysfunctional family roles. Essentially, this role is self-explanatory. The child loses themselves in music, books, movies, etc. Buried in his or her room—a safe haven from the storm raging in other areas of the home—the lost child straps on headphones or crawls inside a book or video game and escapes.

Characters in novels, actors in movies and artists behind songs become the guardians of a beautifully constructed fantasy world—one in which no pain, shame or abuse of any kind exists. These fictional personas, musicians and thespians unwittingly assume a savior role within our lives. They shield us from pain, death and rescue us from a certain destruction.

.

As such, when the world loses one of its celebrities, we lose a childhood champion, an emancipator and someone we indeed considered a member of our fabricated, fantasy family. Since most of us were surrounded by people who were emotionally unavailable, negligent and incapable of connecting, the latter is not a concept completely impossible to believe.

.

The lost child typically doesn’t have access to authentic relationships within the biological family. Family members are generally escaping their own realities with drugs, alcohol and other destructive means. They’re void of compassion and empathy. Essentially, even living in the same home, they aren’t any more accessible than Prince, himself.

.

Therefore, creating emotional bonds with artists who speak meaningful words of wisdom, share love and intimate emotional experiences through lyrics and masterfully produced songs is somewhat expected of a lost child. Additionally, the grief those of us who once identified as a lost child now feel is very real, regardless of the fantastical ways in which our deep, emotional connections were formed. Moreover, just as we needed and deserved the right to feel, grieve and express that experience in our childhood, we are still now entitled to that right in adulthood.

.

RIP, Prince. And, from this onetime lost child, thank you for saving me. You were appreciated and cherished in ways you could never know, and you will be greatly missed and celebrated, eternally.

Thank you for the contribution that "Prince was the shepherd of lost children because he was one himself, I think." His lyric, "I'm your messiah and you're the reason why" came to mind. He understood alienation at a deep level. Thank you, Prince, for leading us out of the forest of conformity and into the flowing fields of funkiness.

i know people deal with things in their own way... but i don't understand all the speculation from fans surrounding what may or may not have happened... i expect it from the media... but as a fan surely the right thing to do is to wait until we have the facts... rather than throwing out opinions on things we really don't have a clue about... it's just kinda gross to be honest

I've avoided trying to read articles about the cause of his passing or his estate- its becoming too much of a media circus. After 2-3 days, I couldn't read anything anymore because after the tributes, it seemed to look like they wanted to go back and call him weird and eccentric again.

Which it was nice to come back to this site to see people who sincerely love his work and were touched by his impact. Aside from the vault, that may be the best legacy he has. I'd rather read anything on this site than a news article now.

MissRuby said:

I just wanted to post here to express my grief cause people in my life are sick of me talking about it now. It's been 2 weeks now and it still hurt more than seems right. Tonight I saw Purple Rain at the cinema. I thought that would be my closure, my goodbye. I thought I was ready for it. But man I wasn't. I sobbed. I sobbed as it began, I sobbed during The Beautiful Ones, I sobbed badly as he started to play Purple Rain on his piano and I sat in my chair still sobbing as the lights came back on at the end. I could barely speak to anyone afterwards, just like on the morning of his death. worst of all... I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I hurt so bad still. I'm a grown woman, I shouldn't still be crying over a man I never met, yet truely loved in some strange way. I'm so sorry you have to listen to this fair weather orger who has floated in and out for the past 5 years. I just don't have anyone else who will listen. Much love to you all

It's ok. You cry. Don't feel guilty. We all love him and because of him we all have each other. I haven't been able to watch Purple Rain. Hell, I can't watch the end of Under the Cherry Moon. Who cares if you never met him in the flesh? I feel like I lost someone more important to me than a family member or loved one. There are no words to express this grief. We all just need to be here for each other.

Yes it is OK to cry. It's healthy to cry or do whatever we need to do to mourn this. Letting it out is healthy. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad or feeling any other way.

I do very much appreciate this site. This place to mourn is so much of what I need. Popping in and out of this site, being a member forever or a day. Never joining this site. It all doesn't matter. It hurts period. Fans around the world are mouring.

May he be resting in peace

.

purplethunder3121 said:

When Doves Cry—Why the Lost Child Deeply Grieves the Loss of Prince

By Toshia Humphries Apr 23 2016

Though an entire nation of fans grieves the loss of Prince Rogers Nelson—simply known as Prince—there are those of us who are seemingly devastated in ways typically reserved for only family members and close friends. Yet, though we’ve never met him—and some of us might have never had the chance to witness his live performance—we feel a deeper connection than that of a mere fan. For those of us once in the role of a lost child, Prince was a caretaker and a trusted companion.

The lost child is one of five dysfunctional family roles. Essentially, this role is self-explanatory. The child loses themselves in music, books, movies, etc. Buried in his or her room—a safe haven from the storm raging in other areas of the home—the lost child straps on headphones or crawls inside a book or video game and escapes.

Characters in novels, actors in movies and artists behind songs become the guardians of a beautifully constructed fantasy world—one in which no pain, shame or abuse of any kind exists. These fictional personas, musicians and thespians unwittingly assume a savior role within our lives. They shield us from pain, death and rescue us from a certain destruction.

.

As such, when the world loses one of its celebrities, we lose a childhood champion, an emancipator and someone we indeed considered a member of our fabricated, fantasy family. Since most of us were surrounded by people who were emotionally unavailable, negligent and incapable of connecting, the latter is not a concept completely impossible to believe.

.

The lost child typically doesn’t have access to authentic relationships within the biological family. Family members are generally escaping their own realities with drugs, alcohol and other destructive means. They’re void of compassion and empathy. Essentially, even living in the same home, they aren’t any more accessible than Prince, himself.

.

Therefore, creating emotional bonds with artists who speak meaningful words of wisdom, share love and intimate emotional experiences through lyrics and masterfully produced songs is somewhat expected of a lost child. Additionally, the grief those of us who once identified as a lost child now feel is very real, regardless of the fantastical ways in which our deep, emotional connections were formed. Moreover, just as we needed and deserved the right to feel, grieve and express that experience in our childhood, we are still now entitled to that right in adulthood.

.

RIP, Prince. And, from this onetime lost child, thank you for saving me. You were appreciated and cherished in ways you could never know, and you will be greatly missed and celebrated, eternally.

Thank you for this, I really haven't had the words to express why his loss has been so profound for me but this sums it up perfectly.

I too was a lost child who never felt like I fit in, and his music saved me over and over again. No matter what happened in my life there was a Prince song or album to soothe my soul. He showed me it was sexy to be a powerful woman, it was okay to love whomever you wanted to love and you were cool as long as everything you did came from a place of love. Who he was as a person and his music have shaped who I am and have been doing so since the age of 7. He was one of my first childhood crushes!

He's been a part of my life for over three decades now, and I simply don't know what a world without him is. Frankly I thought he'd outlive us all!!! None of this make sense to me. Most days I only do the bare minimum, and I'm in a continual state of tears and exhaustion.

So I'm grateful for this site and for all of you to grieve with. I've lurked here off and on over the last 15, 16 years and I'm thankful for this community.

I'm grateful he brought us together. Rest in purple sweet Prince, you are missed dearly and forever.

[Edited 5/5/16 10:05am]