CalhounSq said:

so today was gonna be the first day I didn't shed a single tear... then I went to facebook, & saw back to back articles about the pending autopsy report... I still don't want to believe it. What I would give to make it untrue...

Just saw on line that it was confirmed that Prince died of an opiod overdose.

Self administered Fentanyl accident, but this is a cancer pain drug. Still more questions than answers. Where and why an rx for a cancer pain med. Oh God. still no word if there was anything else behind it ans Mn. doesn't require that info to be released.

They say it comes in patches and also lollipops. Lord how he loved his lollipops..... If it was just for pain in general what a waste, we lost him for that. If it was to treat cancer than it was a blessing. Now I'm afraid we'll never know.

Cancer? Doubtful. I'm sure he had a secret prescription painkiller addiction.

This sucks. Today I'm back to being a mess. Take Me Awaaaaaaay....

kalelvisj said:

In life, Prince had more power over my emotions than any other artist/performer. And now, in his death, my heart is broken. It has been over a month and while like with every loss, life goes on and as much as things hurt, we automatically start finding our way back to "normal." But the latest news of how he died is heartbreaking all over again. To know that a man who so cherished control of his life spent the end of his life under the control of opiates is just devastating. Thank God, he left so much art for all of us to enjoy and for many to just discover. Prince, thank you for all that you gave right up to the end. You will never fade away and your flame will only burn brighter as time goes on.

I have the same thoughts and words. Your words on "control" are so true. I have to believe that he was in control by being alone that night.

.

I'm in too deep to know what a casual observer thinks or says. I certainly hope he doesn't fade away or his flame dim by people assuming he was just another "druggie that o.d'd". It would upset me greatly if in the mainstream his legacy is tarnished and image diminished.

starkitty said:

I said this on twitter today, so, apologies if you follow me. prince was so prolific, worked so hard, played SO hard and so much that honestly I feel the man lived in cat years. he was was a god blessed cyborg, the way he performed. did he ever sleep? he wished he didn't have to sleep. so by my count, prince was 399 years old. what a rich life.

Lovely post Starkitty. Man worked hisself to death. Also the not eating was a concern. In the newly released Rolling Stone interview (which I thought was kind of cold), he spoke about not eating for days. Had a Grandfather that thought "eating is a waste of time". He lived into his 80's but died on his own terms - splitting wood until he collapsed.

Agree, 399 yrs is a good run!

To Prince.org,

First, I want to give my sincere gratitude to you for having a place to express my sorrow over Prince's untimely death. My heart is still aching over his loss and I have no where else to express my thoughts. As ususal, I am late to the party!

I am one year older than Prince was. When he burst onto the scene, I was in my mid-20's. I played his early works (1999, Purple Rain) obsessively in my walkman. He opened my mind to a whole new world. But then I got married and tied down to working, childraising, housecleaning, etc. I am guilty of leaving Prince behind. I always thought he would be here and that someday I would get to see him live.

Now suddenly, terribly, tragically Prince is gone. There will be no one else in my lifetime to take his place: amazing sef-taught musicality, exquisite lyricism, unusual and extreme physical beauty, and yes, and uncanny abilty to make you feel that he is singing just to you and that you are not a dumpy 58 year old white woman but instead a hot thing. His hair, his eyes, his mouth, and espicially those gifted musical hands.

I could go on 4ever, but I know you know already know what I feel. A brilliant man, a brilliant mind, and indeed, a sex god.

May he rest in exquisite peace in the heavan of his choice.

Nameless Fan

I wrote the following for a more general "audience" but then didn't know what to do with it. Perhaps it will be useful to someone on Prince.org...

For anyone else, or at least anyone roughly my age, who has found themselves surprised by how deeply the death of Prince affected them on a personal level, particularly for anyone else for whom it has forced a kind of late mid-life reckoning, here is a relatively short but, I thought, beautiful piece in the Atlantic that helped explain just a little of it. The gist is that a recurring theme in Prince’s music, from early days right up until the end, something he was clearly keenly aware of, is that life is short so it is important that you fill it with [musicsexlovegod], the profoundly funky-spiritual mix of a full existence.

For me, this was helpful. You have someone tapping you on the shoulder periodically your entire adult life to remind you—in the most compelling way imaginable—hey you, you, and me, and all of us are gonna die and [this] is the most important thing to know about that. And then that person, completely out of the freaking blue and way, way too soon, actually up and dies. I guess you find yourself taking stock: Did I keep that council?

I won’t bore you with my personal answers. We all have our stories and interpretations related to this kind of stuff. Let’s just say that this wouldn’t be much of a reckoning if this were a ‘heck of a job’ time for me. But here are a couple of generalities that may resonate. The first is just that the ‘god’ and a good chunk of the ‘love’ part of that [glyph] translates, for me, into doing good in the world in some way—it has to do with usefulness and worth and meaning. The second, very much related, thought is one I had recently watching an old video of Prince performing the heart out of Controversy, which includes that groovy vision of the Kingdom of God on Earth and in Heaven (of course since it was Prince’s early 80s vision we are all naked in his Beloved Community). The video is grainy but Prince is clearly both impossibly beautiful and heartbreakingly young. It is hard to believe that beautiful young man is gone. I am grieving for him, of course, but I am also grieving because not until later in life did I ever look past the “controversial” parts of that song and that music in general and see through to the essential sweetness.

How many times do I still do that? Push what is good (music, ideas, experiences… people?) away because it is too alien, too outside my preconceptions of what Should Be, and therefore too threatening? To put it another way: I’m 53; if the universe still asks (and maybe it is always asking) Don’t ya want to play? how will I keep myself from reflexively squeezing my eyes shut, stopping up my ears, shrinking back, and instead respond, with a fully open heart, Yes!

katmay said:

I wrote the following for a more general "audience" but then didn't know what to do with it. Perhaps it will be useful to someone on Prince.org...

For anyone else, or at least anyone roughly my age, who has found themselves surprised by how deeply the death of Prince affected them on a personal level, particularly for anyone else for whom it has forced a kind of late mid-life reckoning, here is a relatively short but, I thought, beautiful piece in the Atlantic that helped explain just a little of it. The gist is that a recurring theme in Prince’s music, from early days right up until the end, something he was clearly keenly aware of, is that life is short so it is important that you fill it with [musicsexlovegod], the profoundly funky-spiritual mix of a full existence.

For me, this was helpful. You have someone tapping you on the shoulder periodically your entire adult life to remind you—in the most compelling way imaginable—hey you, you, and me, and all of us are gonna die and [this] is the most important thing to know about that. And then that person, completely out of the freaking blue and way, way too soon, actually up and dies. I guess you find yourself taking stock: Did I keep that council?

I won’t bore you with my personal answers. We all have our stories and interpretations related to this kind of stuff. Let’s just say that this wouldn’t be much of a reckoning if this were a ‘heck of a job’ time for me. But here are a couple of generalities that may resonate. The first is just that the ‘god’ and a good chunk of the ‘love’ part of that [glyph] translates, for me, into doing good in the world in some way—it has to do with usefulness and worth and meaning. The second, very much related, thought is one I had recently watching an old video of Prince performing the heart out of Controversy, which includes that groovy vision of the Kingdom of God on Earth and in Heaven (of course since it was Prince’s early 80s vision we are all naked in his Beloved Community). The video is grainy but Prince is clearly both impossibly beautiful and heartbreakingly young. It is hard to believe that beautiful young man is gone. I am grieving for him, of course, but I am also grieving because not until later in life did I ever look past the “controversial” parts of that song and that music in general and see through to the essential sweetness.

How many times do I still do that? Push what is good (music, ideas, experiences… people?) away because it is too alien, too outside my preconceptions of what Should Be, and therefore too threatening? To put it another way: I’m 53; if the universe still asks (and maybe it is always asking) Don’t ya want to play? how will I keep myself from reflexively squeezing my eyes shut, stopping up my ears, shrinking back, and instead respond, with a fully open heart, Yes!

The article and your words are wonderful and very helpful.

We're the same age so I get where you're coming from. Mortality and trying to enjoy the "here and now" is at the forefront now I guess. I think it's time to use our experiences, visions, and wisdom to enjoy as much as we can.

Thank you.

Funkmeimfamous said:

Still hurts so much... The thought of going the rest of my life without ever seeing him perform again.. ugh too much...

Feeling the same way.

Very nice Katmay - my original tag here was "Life is a game - don't you want to play?" I chose that lyric because I turned 60 this year and am feeling the urgency. Been a shrinking violet (smile) more times than I prefer - looking back.

HatrinaHaterwitz said:

Tracy died soon after a long fought civil war,
Just after I'd wiped away his last tear
I guess he's better off than he was before,
A whole lot better off than the fools he left here
I used to cry for Tracy because he was my only friend
Those kind of cars don't pass you every day
I used to cry for Tracy because I wanted to see him again,
But sometimes sometimes life ain't always the way

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad
Sometimes I wish life was never ending,
And all good things, they say, never last

Springtime was always my favorite time of year,
A time for lovers holding hands in the rain
Now springtime only reminds me of Tracy's tears
Always cry for love, never cry for pain
He used to say so strong unafraid to die
Unafraid of the death that left me hypnotized
No, staring at his picture I realized
No one could cry the way my Tracy cried

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad
Sometimes, sometimes I wish that life was never ending,
And all good things, they say, never last

I often dream of heaven and I know that Tracy's there
I know that he has found another friend
Maybe he's found the answer to all the April snow
Maybe one day I'll see my Tracy again

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad
Sometimes I wish that life was never ending,
But all good things, they say, never last

All good things that say, never last
And love, it isn't love until it's a cry

HatrinaHaterwitz said:

er last

All good things that say, never last
And love, it isn't love until it's a cry

The last line is : And love, isn't love until it's past. (Meaning you don't really know how much you love someone until they're gone.)

[Edited 6/6/16 19:08pm]

Happy Birthday Prince...May U Rest In Peace. :'(

Scarfo said:

Happy Birthday Prince...May U Rest In Peace. :'(

nlinn said: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCE....I wish you Heaven....

Scarfo said:

Happy Birthday Prin

my wife last night, 6/6... "I still can't believe he's gone." ... I cry

From Prince to us, today.

bigtimefan said:

kalelvisj said:

In life, Prince had more power over my emotions than any other artist/performer. And now, in his death, my heart is broken. It has been over a month and while like with every loss, life goes on and as much as things hurt, we automatically start finding our way back to "normal." But the latest news of how he died is heartbreaking all over again. To know that a man who so cherished control of his life spent the end of his life under the control of opiates is just devastating. Thank God, he left so much art for all of us to enjoy and for many to just discover. Prince, thank you for all that you gave right up to the end. You will never fade away and your flame will only burn brighter as time goes on.

I have the same thoughts and words. Your words on "control" are so true. I have to believe that he was in control by being alone that night.

.

I'm in too deep to know what a casual observer thinks or says. I certainly hope he doesn't fade away or his flame dim by people assuming he was just another "druggie that o.d'd". It would upset me greatly if in the mainstream his legacy is tarnished and image diminished.

"...he was in control by being alone that night."

YES, THIS. Can we not respect and permit him this?

katmay said:

I wrote the following for a more general "audience" but then didn't know what to do with it. Perhaps it will be useful to someone on Prince.org...

For anyone else, or at least anyone roughly my age, who has found themselves surprised by how deeply the death of Prince affected them on a personal level, particularly for anyone else for whom it has forced a kind of late mid-life reckoning, here is a relatively short but, I thought, beautiful piece in the Atlantic that helped explain just a little of it. The gist is that a recurring theme in Prince’s music, from early days right up until the end, something he was clearly keenly aware of, is that life is short so it is important that you fill it with [musicsexlovegod], the profoundly funky-spiritual mix of a full existence.

For me, this was helpful. You have someone tapping you on the shoulder periodically your entire adult life to remind you—in the most compelling way imaginable—hey you, you, and me, and all of us are gonna die and [this] is the most important thing to know about that. And then that person, completely out of the freaking blue and way, way too soon, actually up and dies. I guess you find yourself taking stock: Did I keep that council?

I won’t bore you with my personal answers. We all have our stories and interpretations related to this kind of stuff. Let’s just say that this wouldn’t be much of a reckoning if this were a ‘heck of a job’ time for me. But here are a couple of generalities that may resonate. The first is just that the ‘god’ and a good chunk of the ‘love’ part of that [glyph] translates, for me, into doing good in the world in some way—it has to do with usefulness and worth and meaning. The second, very much related, thought is one I had recently watching an old video of Prince performing the heart out of Controversy, which includes that groovy vision of the Kingdom of God on Earth and in Heaven (of course since it was Prince’s early 80s vision we are all naked in his Beloved Community). The video is grainy but Prince is clearly both impossibly beautiful and heartbreakingly young. It is hard to believe that beautiful young man is gone. I am grieving for him, of course, but I am also grieving because not until later in life did I ever look past the “controversial” parts of that song and that music in general and see through to the essential sweetness.

How many times do I still do that? Push what is good (music, ideas, experiences… people?) away because it is too alien, too outside my preconceptions of what Should Be, and therefore too threatening? To put it another way: I’m 53; if the universe still asks (and maybe it is always asking) Don’t ya want to play? how will I keep myself from reflexively squeezing my eyes shut, stopping up my ears, shrinking back, and instead respond, with a fully open heart, Yes!

What you wrote was very moving to me. I can relate, because I'm at mid-life. I enjoyed Prince's early hits -- but he was one of a multitude of musical greats I explored in teens and 20s: a wide range from the 60s-80s, which was played on stations in the city where I lived. So everything from Four Tops to Steely Dan. Then my musical journey took me back in time, and I fell in love with Gershwin, Cole Porter, and everything Ella F. ever recorded. And a bit later Oliver Nelson, Bill Evans, the Rat Pack etc. In my 20s I was blessed to see many legends who were living at the time (many have since gone or are no longer performing).

So it surprised me to be crying over Prince's death. Okay maybe once for the suffering he went through, but more than that and something's up. This tells me it's hitting some personal buttons, dovetails (no pun) with my taking stock of life -- which was already underway. The whole thing reinforces my goal to move toward more meaning and giving and creating. So it's good, but change is hard! The old ship is creaking in the water as we turn. lol

Also I look back at the DM era and think of course, he was so innocent and beautiful, like a wounded bird with brightly colored feathers that dismissed limitations and soared as high as his imagination took him. He is an inspiring figure.

Now after his passing, I read lyrics across the four decades and am so touched by his personal path.

What I need to do is harness the emotion and energy and USE it! To do good.

So thank you for what you wrote and shared!

I have read the forums for quite some time but only recently joined. In truth, I continue to feel such ndescribable pain at the loss of him that I needed a place to write it down wherein perhaps others would understand.

Prince and I never once met each other, but somehow, our spirits related intricately.

It's a struggle even now to convey my thoughts bc the loss still cuts so deep. It's been well over a month. There are times when I've been able to feel the joy wash over me, either playing his music myself or listening to him. But for the most part, my eyes continue to overflow as soon as the first note rings out.

I just cannot believe he's truly gone.

This place has been a source of comfort and also moments of joy in the past few weeks. Thank you.

bluenotes said:

I have read the forums for quite some time but only recently joined. In truth, I continue to feel such ndescribable pain at the loss of him that I needed a place to write it down wherein perhaps others would understand.

Prince and I never once met each other, but somehow, our spirits related intricately.

It's a struggle even now to convey my thoughts bc the loss still cuts so deep. It's been well over a month. There are times when I've been able to feel the joy wash over me, either playing his music myself or listening to him. But for the most part, my eyes continue to overflow as soon as the first note rings out.

I just cannot believe he's truly gone.

This place has been a source of comfort and also moments of joy in the past few weeks. Thank you.

you're with like minds - welcome to the Org

adrianne0791 said:

HatrinaHaterwitz said:

The last line is : And love, isn't love until it's past. (Meaning you don't really know how much you love someone until they're gone.)

[Edited 6/6/16 19:08pm]

I know what the line is and I know what the line means. I changed it deliberately because I was crying my heart and soul out at the time I posted it, having just found out what happened and that's what I meant because it's what I was feeling but thanks anyway.

CalhounSq said:

bluenotes said:

I have read the forums for quite some time but only recently joined. In truth, I continue to feel such ndescribable pain at the loss of him that I needed a place to write it down wherein perhaps others would understand.

Prince and I never once met each other, but somehow, our spirits related intricately.

It's a struggle even now to convey my thoughts bc the loss still cuts so deep. It's been well over a month. There are times when I've been able to feel the joy wash over me, either playing his music myself or listening to him. But for the most part, my eyes continue to overflow as soon as the first note rings out.

I just cannot believe he's truly gone.

This place has been a source of comfort and also moments of joy in the past few weeks. Thank you.

you're with like minds - welcome to the Org

It is seven weeks now and it feels like it has been seven minutes ...

1Sasha said:

CalhounSq said:

you're with like minds - welcome to the Org

It is seven weeks now and it feels like it has been seven minutes ...

Time just keeps flying by but the crying doens't stop. I fear the day when there is nothing new here, when the alone time starts, all connection to him ends then.

[Edited 6/9/16 10:49am]

cc3078 said:

From Prince to us, today.

love this

Thank you for welcoming me.

It's nice not to have to feel this alone. Every single night I'm on youtube, just watching and listening. This is a kind of grief I have not known before.