I know, this ain't no Rolling Stone or People Magazine, but given the experts present in the room.

So the game is to dig and find the most guilty pleasure you have when listening to what cannot possibly be considered something other than crap, but there's a little diamond shining (10~15 seconds) that completely saves the song for you. "Would have been a #1 hit in a parallel world" are also good candidates.

Try not to be a musicologist, spit it out, don't be ashamed, it's Okay. We're family, we understand.

Please be a fair player and provide the artist and the album names for whom it may concern. A little explanation of your dirty little secret is best and may reveal the muzak kritik in you.

Oh, and please, People of Neptune aside, do use line breaks, be gentle on the retinas.

— Given song :

"So Strong"

Dale Bozzio - Riot in English

What's not to like? Right from the start, the lunch bell, the over-phased-flangered roll that sounds like a engine that won't start, the stupid "under the shower" non-melody that kicks in, all spells sugar-pop greatness. Way much fun than, say, Garbage ever was when attempting to be as tongue-in-cheek as Blondie.

Bozzio's (no, not Bozo's) vocals are as perfect as Brenda's back in the days, only more acid, and it's definitely him on the guitar. Funny how when in other's producers hand, his guitar playing is hardly recognizable (cf. Like a Prayer and Keep it together), added to the fact that he sounds like he's enjoying to just be the session man.

And maybe it's due to the brilliant mix, but I definitely hear Wendy, possibly with Lisa, or maybe it's Susannah, in the background, near the end.

We'll never know, but I don't care, it's like the coda of Raspberry Beret going through 17 days, through smoke. I'm in heaven.

Lyrics are, of course, stupid as can be, and there you have it, a poppy and elastic song for hallucinating when chilling — or doing aerobics in slow mo'.

— B-Side :

"I Love U in Me"

B-side to "The Arms of Orion" - Batman

Sure the Batman era is full of horrors, as Prince unraveled before our ears a Gotham City of Funk full of his personal and artistic doubts at the time. Hard not to convert the masses to Christianity in full ego overflow. Glam Slam, thank you madam, the exit is this way.

Me Touch Myself, Bliss, way deadlier than the Joker my friend.

I Love U in Me has the rare privilege to be the B-side to an album track which does like Abba or Barbra Streisand do for the fierce average heterosexual male. Syrup which you just have to give in entirely, or hit stop because you just felt too ashamed to start singing along : "...dat's wherawaaannabeeee...".

Not ashamed to come out with one of the worst synth sounds ever recorded, worse than the dullest keyboard preset Roland, Yamaha or Korg engineers combined could ever dream of, Prince puts on top of it one of the best studio vocal performances of his career. As crucial as taking the bass out of "When Doves Cry" at the mix, it slows down the lead vocal, and gets by semi-accident a Camille in reverse, a guttural Chris Isaak on Valium, accompanied by the Choir of The Saint Church of Lusty Virgins Inconsolable.

But it's one of the greatest lyrics lines in all Prince's catalog that makes this a winner. I don't need to tell you, you all know it. It's the line that makes you wonder if the lady is looking for crabs very carefully, with her nails running through royal pubic hairs, or if it's about a tongue that does not belong where it's at. Yuck.

[Edited 7/29/14 19:39pm]

Sugar Walls - Sheena Easton, Just never liked it. The melody is off too and she does not do a convincing job with it. And thats harsh, because I loved all of Sheena's early stuff (9 to 5 Morning train and For your eyes only).

.

Bsides - Q in Doubt and 4 whom it may concern - a lack lustre instrumental and a terrible ad for other songs on an album. Of all the songs Prince had in the vault by 1992 he could use as bsides to a hit single like Diamonds and Pearls - he gave us this. The D and P era was some lazy bside work, Gett off and Cream both had Horny Pony (The basic singles, not maxi singles/EPs), Insatiable used the 1989 song, I love u in me, its okay but 2 years old then. D and P I have already discussed.

Money don't matter, merely had the instrumental and Thunder came with Daddy Pop, but only an album version.

.

Considering until 1989, usually new songs were added as Bsides, he got lazy in the 90s. So basically any single released between 1990 and 1992 had a terrible bside, except Sexy MF, which had Strollin as a bside. But even then, you want different songs for bsides rather than album tracks (Especially if its not the current one - Damn U would have been a perfect bside for Sexy MF). Using original songs as B sides is a natural incentive for people to buy singles, particularly if they already have the album.

The one that comes into my mind, is one I recently posted at a different topic

'Memorable track endings' (see http://prince.org/msg/7/4...&pg=2) for COOL LOVE, Sheena Easton's '88 album track with that killer Prince-on-guitar ending. The whole track is just a nice Sheena Easton tune, not particularly outstanding. But then at the end, mister Rogers Nelson who was also in the recording room, walks up front, picking a guitar, straps it around his shoulder and just in one take he blasts this solo.

Nice game Bonatoc! I will think of any others

Pleeeeaassee, let me disagree.

I Love U In Me + Sugar Walls + 2 Whom It May Concern.

( If only Prince could make music like that now...! )

I always loved "I Love U In Me", I think mostly for the vocals. I don't have a problem with this song's lyrics, BUT... I would never play this song to a someone who is not really into Prince. The lyrics are a little too graphic and would be a bit uncomfortable.

"Sex" (B-side to Scandalous) is probably the WORST B-side by a landslide for me. I think I like all the other B-sides, actually. This one, I listen to it from time to time and try to find something good about it. Still trying.

SmearMrTroof said:

The one that comes into my mind, is one I recently posted at a different topic

'Memorable track endings' (see http://prince.org/msg/7/4...&pg=2) for COOL LOVE, Sheena Easton's '88 album track with that killer Prince-on-guitar ending. The whole track is just a nice Sheena Easton tune, not particularly outstanding. But then at the end, mister Rogers Nelson who was also in the recording room, walks up front, picking a guitar, straps it around his shoulder and just in one take he blasts this solo.

Nice game Bonatoc! I will think of any others

Cool, you made me discover something, thanks. Shame they drowned this in the mix, under that horrendous end-of-the-eighties clinical sound.

In 1988, Prince the Guitarist was the King undisputed. Almost twice a year I go back to Just my Imagination from Small Club. I guess one of the days I'll start a topic just on that, the Lovesexy guitar style. Scandalous part III, The Cross from the Livesexy '88 Dortmund show, the "Oh my God, it's a blue guitar" solo from I Wish U Heaven part II, there's a lot to talk about.

The ultimate gem being the solo in Time Waits For No One from the eponym album by Mavis Staples, where he conveys a lot with pretty much nothing, a few sustained notes, some tearful muted harmonics, a double octave jump et voilà. Applause.

[Edited 7/29/14 17:22pm]

Anyone knows how to make line breaks on the.org? Seems like a pain.

— Given song :

"Why should I love you?"

Kate Bush - The Red shoes - 1991

Aside having become a common lament amongst Prince fans for years, here's a question Kate Bush seems to ask Prince, upon receiving 64 tracks tapes with trashy vocals and fuzzy guitarz.

Keen on not hurting the Purple One's ego, at the time still considered a pop semi-god, Kate and her husband finish to ruin an already bland chorus by adding layers of this insanity, with a big fat oily SSL 64G console, the worst nightmare falled upon sound lovers since the trading of lamps for semi-conductors.

Kate probably expected Prince to be clever enough musically so as to add layers of the most talented voice in pop all over the song's verses, around which it should have been composed in the first place (hear the demo). Love Thy Will Be Done, in retrospective and qualities aside, sounds as a traumatic result of Prince's acknowledgment of Kate's talent spilling from the verses of Why Should I Love You?

So what does this douchebag do? He does the opposite. Probably too busy to look hip before a BBC Documentary film crew, lookin way over-focused, ruining Mavis Staples voice over the total void of inspiration that immediatly followed Lovesexy. Over-focused my ass, the guy is terrorized, he knows that his beat is lame, to say the least. He just hopes that doesn't show on the camera, that Vidal-Sassoned faggot. So when he receives the tapes from England, he spends 2 hours top laying some shit, and quickly goes back to God coming like a dog in heat, a sure sign that a major nervous breakdown is about to jump on the Purple One.

So, you may wonder, what makes this crap eligible for Best Worse Given Song? Because the croach will make you hum along — in perfect silence, long after you've heard it. Even that ridiculous solo? Oh yes. And some spend years with that nasty itch.

The parallel world epilogue :

Prince, having an unexpected epiphany, adds just two vocal parts in counterpoint, a falsetto and deep bass. He finds the chorus weak, and leaves it as it is. The result is near perfection, with the record mix blending Kate, her Bulgarian Voices, and Twin Princes intertwined with the women as precisely as in the final verse of Anotherloverholenyohead.

He does what Kate expects him to do, since in '88 his guitar set makes him sound like a David Gilmour on acid, which is just the point for Kate : to surpass, if possible, her own pop masterpiece, Love and Anger.

So he lays down an six-string lyrical apocalypse solo, just like he did all year on tour, on The Cross and Purple Rain, not to mention the aftershows.

Kate and husband use the studio wisely, and retain only the pure essence of a solo that will, uncut, become a sought-after among bootleg collectors and fans in the years to come.

GIVEN SONG - Not sure how this topic is to be looked at . But HOLY crap if one of the most underrated given out songs isn't Mavis Staples, "Come Home" - Recently heard it on vinyl and after ALL these years (You Must hear this on vinyl), seriously became my stand out track on the "Time Waits For No One" album. There's so much going on on this track and is So beautiful. Another Beautiful pair of songs is Margie Cox's "Standing At The Altar" and the b-side "Whistling Kenny". Those songs and Margie's unreleased album made me a HUGE fan, but I was a tad disappointed hearing the solo album Margie DID release. It took me FOREVER to find it, finally did and then my expectations got crushed.. (Margie's Little Demo)...Wish more of the work Margie and Prince did would see the light of day (leak) at some point. The songs they did together are amazing.

As for Prince's B-Sides.. hmm, now you all know Most of Prince's B-sides are almost as much Legends as some of his albums!!! What does that say?!?!?! I'm going to have to go with "Call The Law".. Even tho it's Tony M on lead vocals.. It doesn't even matter.. I can bypass that with this song!!!!.. That Groove and Prince kicking ASS on guitar and Michael B's phenominal drums make that track one of my favorite Prince B-sides.

Going off-track, but another song, that doens't fit either catagory for this question, but needs to be mentioned is "Da Da Da" Crazy cool song.. JUST something about that has something extra-special going on. But I don't know what it is... LOL

But, what do I know

The best B-Side is Erotic City. (2nd place goes to 17 Days)

For the Best given song - Love Thy will be done, awesome and haunting in both Prince's and Martika's versions. Just a heavenly song. 100MPH is way up there too with All Day, all night (Although its the Prince versions I love more than the Mazarati or Jill Jones ones)

.

B side - Much harder, its between Erotic City, 17 Days and She's always in my hair. The extended mixes of the first and last are better than 17 Days, but for standard versions, its 17 Days. Great lyrics, rhythm and catchy chorus. Overall these 3 songs are pure bliss and better than most of his A sides!!!