... "Rockhard In A Funky Place" is Prince's paean to gay bathhouse sex.

Recorded this day 27 years ago, using the sexually ambiguous Camille pseudonym as the protagonist (most likely to further stave off rumors of the singer's homosexuality), the song is rife with allusions to an illicit encounter(s) in a "house of ill-repute". And while some may point out that some of the song's lyrics refer to "a lady" "with double cups", this is obviously gay-coded slang for an effeminate male (bottom) seeking an insertive (top) partner. To wit...

Does anybody know you're here?
This house of ill-repute (Ooohh honey I'm scared of u)
Tryin' 2 deal with all your fears
I guess this is what u get 4 being cute (Cute, cute)
Soaked in banana cologne
No wonder you're all alone
It's written all over your face
You're just-a rock hard in a funky place

Rock hard in a funky place

Here comes a lady so u cover up
She's a freaked out,
Funky electric mama with double cups
Say u, u could cop if u wanted 2
Because something near your leg
Is haunting u, such a disgrace
U're rock hard in a funky place, ow!

Rock hard in a funky place

U was workin' on the line
U could drop on her
But u couldn't concentrate
When your dick saw her
Maybe if u cop a nut in the car (Maybe if u cop a nut in the car)
Maybe u could think
About playing guitar

(Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock)
(Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock)
Oh yeah

Rock hard in a funky place

All you're looking 4 is love
Or a reason 2 believe there's a God above
Pretty soon you'll get enough
And head back 2 a life so tough
I just hate 2 see an erection go 2 waste
I'm just-a rock hard in a funky place

Rock hard in a funky place
Say it
Rock hard in a funky place
Rock hard in a funky place
Oohh U rock hard in a funky place
U rock hard in a funky place
Say it, y'all

(rock, rock)
what? (rock, rock, rock, rock)
We gotta go, y'all
tune in next week (rock, rock)
Same time (rock, rock)
same boogie (rock, rock, rock, rock, rock hard)
oohhh yeah (rock, rock, rock, rock)
we will rock, y'all (rock, rock)

But until then keep your finger on the trigger
That's the only way it'll get bigger

(What kind of fuck ending was that?)

Songwriters: LEEDS, ERIC / NELSON, PRINCE ROGERS


A stunning revelation for some, an old truth for others.


Happy listening!

So why is this about a gay bathhouse opposed to a cathouse, orgy at someone's home, etc.....?

Because our hero is "soaked in banana cologne".

While some may be familiar with this term as a username for a former orger, that person got his name from this song, where the context is implied to mean male ejaculate. "Banana" being a metaphor for the penis, and "cologne" being the skeet itself in keeping with the rhyme scheme.

Vannormal said:

Sheila was wearing a double cup, remember ? I'm - what you state is far from it... Believe me [Edited 10/28/13 8:50am]

Uhhh, WHAT?

He's talking about a whore house.

joyinrepetition said:

He's talking about a whore house.

A whore house where other men cum on him?

Got it.

And before you hardheads get all BENT (see what I just did there?) out of shape, it's called humor.

PurpleJedi said:

Taking your side in your theory-couldn't the cologne be his? Self love people.

kewlschool said:

Taking your side in your theory-couldn't the cologne be his? Self love people.

Could be. But why go to bathhouse to practice self love?

CocoRock said:

And while some may point out that some of the song's lyrics refer to "a lady" "with double cups", this is obviously gay-coded slang for an effeminate male (bottom) seeking an insertive (top) partner.

Your terminology is a little.... off.

CocoRock said:

Because our hero is "soaked in banana cologne".

While some may be familiar with this term as a username for a former orger, that person got his name from this song, where the context is implied to mean male ejaculate. "Banana" being a metaphor for the penis, and "cologne" being the skeet itself in keeping with the rhyme scheme.

Wrong.

The song is about sexual excitement and masturbatory release. The "banana cologne" is the guy's own - the only sexual avenue open to him because he's too tongue-tied to tell the woman he wants her. He "covers up" when he sees her because he doesn't want her to know he's "rockhard in a funky place."

CocoRock said:

joyinrepetition said:

He's talking about a whore house.

A whore house where other men cum on him?

Got it.

That's funny. I see how you are reading it, but I've never read this as "gay bathhouse" or necessarily homosexual. Many Prince lyrics are rife with sexual metaphors that lend themselves to such readings. Hell, one could probably make a fair argument for homosexuality in "Let's Go Crazy" when he's looking for a purple banana!!

NouveauDance said:

Genesia said:

Man that's a great song.

brookinz said:

thedoorkeeper said:

Of course, "banana cologne" could also be a used to describe a stink of desperation.

yeh and the lyrics to breakfast can wait are all wrong...its ...coffee..no.. id rather have u in my ass

CocoRock said:

First mistake seems to me the assumption that this is about "himself".

The entire song is written in the 3rd person.

Does anybody know you're here?

What kind of fucked up ending was that?...

Genesia said:

robertgeorgeakabob said:

It's about a bloke in a whorehouse, so nervous with excitement that he spunks his pants before the deed is even done. It's pretty self explanatory.

What's also self-explanatory is that the OP has already stated, several times, that this thread was intended as a joke. Hence, any reference to the song's "true" meaning is superfluous.

Mindflux said: