These used to be really popular back in 2004/2005. Let's see if we can have some fun.


Let the story go in any direction that you want, but keep it 'Prince themed'.





Here goes:









After considerable fuss, Prince finally worked his way out of his corset/catsuit ensemble, stepped into his hot tub and soaked himself in a warm bath. He wondered if this was what other time tested and legendary divas like Gladyss Night, Aretha Franklin, or Lady Gaga did after a long, tough, show.

"I wonder where Bria's been today, " he said aloud.

"Who knows?" Larry Graham said from the other side of the tub.


Suddenly there came a knock at the door.
"Can you get that, " Prince asked Larry in a tone that both expressed politeness but with an obvious imperative quality so as to remove all doubt that he was issuing a gently delivered order, but one not to be refused.

Larry jumped out of the hot tub, still naked and rushed to the door, obviously drunk off his tail again. Prince noticed that from behind he sort of resembled a Jar Jar binks with his stride.

Larry openned the door and was greeted by a stunned woman carrying a CD in her hand. The CD was a demo she cut for Prince.

The woman was none other than....


.
[Edited 5/20/10 7:37am]

..than Tame..

Larry snatches the CD from her hand and before she can utter the words "Prince, my love..." he drop kicks her and slams the door.

Prince says, "Who was that?" Larry says, "Damn, Scientologists!"

He throws the CD in the trash and rejoins Prince. Prince is looking restless. So Larry asks...

.."Do you want me to give you a massage? We could talk about The Bible ". Prince replied..
[Edited 5/20/10 8:51am]

zaza said:

Yall stupid!

...Prince replied "No thanks... I, I don't really wanna talk about the Bible right now."

Larry's face turns an ugly color, and in an angry fury, he drains the hot tub. Prince looks absolutely livid, and says...

"If I hadn't already written a song called Fury I'd be doing it now!".

Just then a rock bounced off the window. Prince looked down to see an angry mob gathering on the Paisley lawn below.

Not bothering to cover up, Prince thrust the window open and yelled "what do you want!?"

One of the mob stepped foward: It was Bootsy Collins. You could tell by the glasses. And the hat. And the boots. And the star-shaped space bass. He said "Uh, whattup bobba! Now you just send Larry down here, this is all his fault! Sure, the cat may have invented slap bass, but he gotsta pay for turning you away from the pleasures of swearing, sex, and real funk music!"

Another rock was thrown from the crowd, and it lodged itself in Prince's typhoon.

From the other room, over the sound of the hair dryer, Larry asked "what's going on?"
[Edited 5/20/10 17:30pm]

Hatman said:

Prince turned around and stared at Larry.
"Get those people off my lawn!!!!" he screamed (a very high pitched squeal of a scream).

"Ok, little brother" Larry said, and descended the stairs of Prince's bedroom towards the secret passage in a hidden wall that makes it way down to the front of the house.

Distressed, Prince dialed Bria's phone number.

"Hello?" a male voice answered.





"WHo is this?" Prince asked?

"nobody, " Bria's voice chimed in.

"Who was that?" Prince insisted.

"Just my piano teacher" Bria said.

"You're piano teacher? GuRRRRLLL you can't play!" , "Now tell me who that was or I'm going to send Moo Moo and Ray Ray from Websherrif Security to investigate!"

"I said, it's nobody, boo" Bria responded.

Within 30 minutes the crowed oustide had gotten bigger, and Bria had made her way through the crowd to see Prince. WHile Larry was outside dealing with the angry mob, Bria walked nervously upstairs.

"Hi?" she said nervously.
Prince just stared at her shoes.
"Oh." she said cautiously as she slipped them off so that she might be closer to his height.

"Who was that man?"

The ruse was up. The game was over. Bria knew she had been caught...




"It was...."..... "It was"..... "It was....."

"WHO?" Prince squealed like Howard the Duck.

"It was.... ME."


Prince stood staring at her in awe as she changed her voice from feminine to her natural state--masculine.

It hit him like a ton of bricks. lawd he said to himself, isn't it enough that half the girls I date look like drag queens or transgender folks except for Mayte?

"lawd!!!" Prince said.

"Don't worry--this changes NOTHING" Bria said as she ran her fingers through his hair. "What's this?" she picked out the rock from his hair, "you really need to wash that hair more often, boo."


Outside the assembled crowed has started to feast on the flesh of the person who used to be Larry Graham but was now just a bloody pile of meat and sinew.


Suddenly.....


.
[Edited 5/21/10 7:45am]

Suddenly Prince heard a funky tune in his head. Ignoring the noise outside and Bria he ran down the passage in a purple haze to the studio...

Bohemian67 said:

slipping on his japanese robe and sandals he paused for a minute to shake the rock out of his hair, where bria had carelessly dropped it back. "ow!" a voice called from the studio doorway "that really hurt" prince looked up in amazement to find the pebble had hit none other than...
[Edited 5/21/10 13:17pm]

TheVoid said:

g3121 said:

Mariah Carey... what you doing Princey, she purred, looking like a young version of Aretha Franklin.

I heard a funky tune, something with glitter and gold and want to write it down but lately I have a hard time writing things down. It must be that damn carrot soup, it makes my intestines weak. I really need to go to the little boys room, sorry baby... and off sprinted Prince, while pulling up his Japanese robe. On the stairs down he suddenly lost a slipper....

...but he didn't care. Prince REALLY had to go to the bathroom. So off he went, leaving Mariah just enough time to get all snoopy and look through his trash. She found the discarded demo cd, and got curious. She put it in the cd player, and part of her hoped it was Prince's newest reject stuff. Then she'd have a new bootleg to go with the huge collection she had already.
That's when Bria saw what she was doing. Bria walked into the room and said to Mariah...

Bria said, "Have you slept with him yet? Did you get the photos?"

Mariah, "No girl, he had to use the bathroom."


Bria, "Shit. How am I supposed to get the house, paisley park enterprises, and half his money, if I can't prove he's cheating on me?"


Mariah, "Chile, you OWE me half for this. Sleeping with that man is going to be like sleeping with Emanuel Lewis with typhoon do and a rock in his hair to boot. ".... "in pumps!"

Bria stared at Mariah displeased.

Mariah continued, "oh shit. We need to think of a plan quickly before he gets out of the bathroom."

Bria, "Girl, don't worry--whenever he's in the bathroom, we can count on at least 30 minutes of peace."


Suddenly Bria's cellphone rings, and....

zaza said:

Good one!

It's her surgeon. ‘Brian’ he says... I’ve booked you in for that Operation tomorrow at 10 we'll have that willy out in no time.

So Bria dashes out back home to trim her pubes for the procedure...

Leaving Mariah standing there with Tame's CD in one hand whilst she adjusts her panties with the other

Then ....
[Edited 5/21/10 20:12pm]

chocolatehandles said:

prince yells "what yall doin out there?! bring me some toilet paper!!! jerome,where you at?!" mariah then dashes over to prince's makeup drawer in his room and steals a purse full of items.some she leaves behind because they're just not her shade "they would be if i was trying to be joan crawford lol" she says to herself. suddenly....
.
[Edited 5/21/10 20:30pm]

HatrinaHaterwitz said:

!!!!

Prince picks up the make up, bronze shade and cherry lipstick, "Yo Mariah what the hell do I need with this shit. Now get yo ho ass out there and get my motherfxxkin money, damn y'all had all day ho, now go, before daddy breaks his pimp cane off in yo ass".
"Yes daddy, get Jerome to bring the Thunderbird around the front to get me down to Santa Monica Boulevard".
Prince says "Thats right bitch, now go put that wig I bought you, not the pink one the other one I bought you. I know youv'e had some Yak, but can you shut up one time, and go find Bria my other ho"
"Ok daddy, can I sing to the johns"
"Hell naw, they won't want you if you keep singing Butterfly to their asses, y'all need to be getting me some benjamins, as this music shit ain't working like it used too".

Huggiebear said:

lawd

Mariah and Jerome arrive in uptown and she gets out of the car and starts to walk up and down the corner shaking her arse and swinging her hips.

"Oh lawd, no no no, " Jerome said.
"That's not how you do it."

Jerome got out of his car impatiently, took his jacket off, and said, " THIS is how you do it."


He started licking his lips, shaking his ass, and doing the 'cat walk' up and down the blvd near first ave.

"See, " Jerome said, "Just do it like me!"

Suddenly a car stopped and the windows in the car rolled down.
"How much you want?" The old man inside said to Jerome.


Jerome stared down at him and replied, "Senator Craig! I'm only showing Mariah how to do it cause she's got as much intrinsic sex appeal as Biz Markey in spandex."

"Oh, " the senator replied with a disappointed face, and drove off.



Meanwhile, back at Paisley park, Prince is trolling the Internet looking to score quick sex.

"So do you like environmental records?" Prince said.

User purplelove808: "yes, love them!"

Prince:

User purplelove808: "Can I see your webcam?"

Prince: I don't really know how to do it on my computer.

User purplelove808: . Oh, well do you want to see me?

Prince: Yes!!! IM me your address and I'll have my limo pick you up!

User purplelove808: OK. Well, it's always been a dream of mine to meet
you. And I would love to sing for you to show you what I'm made of so here:



WEBCAM activated:







Prince pondered this for a moment and then....

omfg

TheVoid said:

oh my LAWD
/

Prince pondered this for a moment and then....

he made an excuse that wendy and lisa were calling and he had to go. "whew that was a close call" prince said to himself.he then pulls out a slimjim from his secret beef jerkey compartment in his desk and continues his search.

domebaby2004:High

Prince:Hello How R U?

domebaby2004:I'm fine

Prince:Do U own Ur Masters?

domebaby2004:huh???

prince has logged off...


meanwhile back in uptown jerome and mariah continued practicing.mariah was grew bored as jerome kept stealing all of her potential customers."GURL,what are you doing sat on the bench like dat? my time is valuable,honey! you need to come on and learn to walk and talk sexy like tricky,baby"

mariah rolled her eyes and said "ugh hold on... im just finishing reading this thread on prince.org(via her iphone)"

"PRINCE.ORG?!" jerome turned in sheer shock and enragment as if his pearls had just been stolen! he quickly prances over and slapped the taste out of her mouth due to the fact he he hates the org with a passion stronger than his love for fur coats.he then scolds in a way that would make mommie dearest scared.mariah not believing what just happened quickly jumps on jerome headon and a cat fight ensues on the streets of uptown...suddenly a car pulls up and its....

^^^ "Do U own your masters?" x a billion That shit never gets old. :falloff;



..... shew....



...meanwhile a car pulls up and the windows roll down.
It's Supreme Court Justice Anthony Scalia. "My question is for the black guy--sorry, not into fat chicks... How much you charge for barebacking?"


.....

TheVoid said:

"Dependsbitchwho'saskin!?" jerome shouts back workin his body and puckering his cheeks and lips. just then morris rolls by and yells out JEROME!"
.
[Edited 5/25/10 3:51am]

[/quote]

"Dependsbitchwho'saskin!?" jerome shouts back workin his body and puckering his cheeks and lips. just then morris rolls by and yells out JEROME!"
.
[Edited 5/25/10 3:51am]
[/quote]


On hearing this, Jerome suddenly looks puzzled. Turning around slowly he says (under his breath): "Sheeeeit! How the hell did he do THAT?! That muthafucka sho can hold his breath for a long time... next time I'm weighing that beatch down with heavier concrete..."

Morris: "So, thought you'd seen the last o' me right? And suprise suprise, you're cosying up with one of Prince's bitches agin. Well see how ya like some o this: (at the top of his voice) WHAT TIME IS IT?! Jerome, fetch me my... oh no, wait... .."
[Edited 5/25/10 9:05am]
[Edited 5/25/10 9:06am]

clbrooks said:

Morris gets a text from prince to get jerome and mariah and meet him at paisley park "OH LAWD" says morris. "let's go babies"..btw jerome i read that thread about you on prince.org....."

this look comes over jerome's face and everyone in the limo stops in there tracks, jerome yells out...

Christopher said:

Jerome: "Oh yeah, I read that. The one about your momma and that second-hand electric toothbrush?"
[Edited 5/25/10 16:55pm]

Meanwhile back at Paisley Park:




"Who is this?" Bria demanded as the drop dead gorgeous woman walked into the lobby.


"It's a secret, " Prince said dismissively.


"No, seriously. WHO. IS. THAT?" Bria persisted, her voice showing an unusual--even shocking--public display of dissatisfaction towards Prince.


Prince, sensing displeasure, responded, "I'm launching a secret tour, and she's auditioning for one of my backup dancers, and possibly keyboardist."

"Can you play keyboard, " Bria demanded of the young lady who stood motionless and confused.

"No, I...I....I don't think I can."

Looking back at Bria Prince responded, "since when does that matter? Do you think Hayes could really play anything?"

"Good point, " Bria agreed, "But I don't trust her. How you know she's honest?"

"Because, " Prince responded snapping his fingers, "I always use a lie detector test during the interview."

Within seconds a little spanish man wearing a tuxedo walked out with a chair and a small table with a machine on top of it. The young guest was asked to be seated and wires where attached to her. She had never taken a lie detector test before, and was obviously nervous.

Prince looked over at Bria and casually said, "Are you happy now? I'll even let you ask the first question."


Bria looked over at the young woman and said, "You've been selected to try out for a very important job. Prince demands honesty and loyalty for all his new hos...erm... subjects...erm.. employees."

A very small but noticeable pause.

"So, my question for you, " Bria continued, "is, 'what do you think about the Viking fight song that Prince wrote called Purple and Gold '"


...a gulp.....


.
[Edited 5/25/10 21:52pm]