One day Prince decided to pay tribute to some of his most influential musical heroes by inviting them to see him infamous vault. He had his people get in touch with James Brown, George Clinton, Carlos Santana, Joni Mitchell and of course,Larry Graham. As they entered Prince's 3121 home, each vistor was offered a japanese robe and sandals. George declined because he was already dressed that way.

A tremendous,toothy smile appeared on the host's face as he greated each legend.
Prince said,"Praise be to Jehovah! None of you have any idea how special this moment is 2 me.The music that fills these shelves would not have been possible if not 4 your wonderful contributions. I'm not ashamed 2 say that having u here in my vault is heaven on earth 2 me."

George "You got any of dem gold nekkid ass sistas from the Gett Off video runnin' around here? I know you do wit yo' freaky ass self!"

Joni "George,please show some common courtesy.Anyways, Prince are any of those nice Mandingo gentlemen from the Gett Off video going to be here?"

James...well, James said something but nobody could understand him so we'll leave that out.

Larry "Baby brother,I'm speechless! I don't know what to say."

Prince "Eye do...fuck all ya'll!!!"

Everybody stood there in shock as Prince then locked the heavy metal vault door behind him!

Carlos "What is the meaning of this?"

Prince "Carlos, meaning of this is that Eye looked up 2 each of you as if u were God Himself! Eye made no secret in telling the world that! Eye wrote songs 4 each of u 2 sing as u all rejected me!"

George "What u mean? I sang your shit!"

Larry "Me too,Baby Brother! Though George, I don't wanna hear you say that word again you crack headed mother fucker!"

Carlos "You never offered me a cut,man! Where is Sitruk7 going with this thread?""

Prince "Shut up! U're trying 2 confuse me that's all! James and Joni turned my beautiful music down!...and I couldn't get ahold of Sly Stone and Jimi Hendrix so u'll have 2 do!!!"

Before Prince could continue his rant...

at George.. I know u do wit yo freaky ass self..lmao
[Edited 9/1/06 17:28pm]

sitruk7 said:

MickG walks in, and this send Prince out of the room screaming like a white lady.

George turns to MickG and says...

"You-can-act-hard-if-you-want-to-this-pipe-will-make-you-choke
now-you-got-a-clue-as-to-how-a-brother got broke...wait a minute! How the hell you get inside a locked vault and how the fuck he get out?"
[Edited 9/1/06 18:00pm]

sitruk7 said:

MickG: time and space are an illusion, through the spaces that void the phyical reality's mass I walked. As for Prince, the punk had a key.

Just then Security Rushes in the vault and says to _____ ...

George interrupts "This ain't nothin' but a big ol' pile a bullshit! Keanu Reeves ain't here! Uh-uh.He's just some o' that nose candy I hit up on the way over here! Cocain is a hellova drug!Shit...shit!"

Joni to Carlos "Now that's the real shit!"

Carlos "Word!"

Prince said "What r u babbling about?"

George "This mother fucker rightchear!"

Prince " I don't see anybody here except but u,me,James,Larry,Joni and Carlos!"

George "But this mothe..."

Prince "Doesn't exist! Just like anything else that messes this story up."

Prince then began to play one of his unreleased jams entitled...
[Edited 9/1/06 18:16pm]

sitruk7 said:

"Just Ignore Him, he'll go away"

MickG then turns to Prince and kicks him in the shitter so hard MickG's foot gets covered in Vegitarian shit.

Prince: (screams in 3 pitches at once.)

MickG: "Don't sweat it Kid, i ain't here!?!"

Security rushes over to MickG looking like they about to grab his ass, but they reach out and pat him on the back.

Prince: (looks agravatedly puzzled at his security team and says)

Prince: (looks agravatedly puzzled at his security team and says) "LittlemissG get rid of the riftraft"

MickG: What! What are you doing here

LittlemissG: 'I'm Mr. Nelson's new Executive Protection Specialist. He was tired of all those big guys and wanted someone his size that wouldn't draw attention. Mr. Nelson close your eyes and cover your ears, you don't want to witness this.'

With that LittlemissG advanced toward MickG and put an ipod over his ears. In seconds his expression changed for shock to horror. He was listening to a recording of himself playing the drum, and worst....singing! MickG dropped to the floor and curled into the fetal position. Two male guards scooped him off the floor and threw him off the property.


Prince: "Well done G, now for the rest of you; quess what's on this CD."

A few seconds silent speculation and head scratching passed before....
[Edited 9/2/06 0:06am]

Someone yelled "Little Richards Greatest Hits!!"
[Edited 9/1/06 21:52pm]

Suddenly there was a loud boom, and smoke everywhere.
In the confusion and panick some folks couldn't find the door and passed out from the fumes, Prince included.


Prince awoke tied up to a large wooden plank on one side of a stone wall in what appeared to be a dark and seedy dungeon. He was completely naked and splayed out in a large X with each hand and foot tied to different corners of the board. He had a large metal pipe portruding out of his anus which would make a strang rumbling sound in the key of G everytime he had a bowl movement.

Across the room from him, completely naked as well, and tied to a chair was....

The black woman from Under the Cherry Moon!

woman "I told you I missed you Christ-o-fer!Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!This is freaky enough for you?"
[Edited 9/2/06 10:42am]

We don't get enuff Prince stories, go on.

Tom Cruise.

"Prince," Tom began, "We need to have a little chat."

Prince said....

littlemissG said:

:"I know what you're going to say Tom, and the answer is yes."

Tom: "What was I going to say"?

Prince:"You wanted to know if Scienceology can have MickG, and they can. All I want from MickG is his Musicology"

Tom: "Well Prince, ummmm.. you've never been known as a generious man, and that's quite the pearl to be giving away"

Prince: "Well he doesn't mess with my chosen religion. He think's it false"

Tom: "Is he wrong?"

Prince: "Wrong or right, it doesn't matter, it's what I've chosen, and I am all that matters tonight."

Tom Looks at Prince and then says.

Tom "Oh my God! Mick G is actually more self absorbed than you are!!!"

Prince "Yes he is. Thankfully he's nice enough 2 include me in this thread from time 2 time."

Tom "Care to jump up and down on a couch with me?"

Prince "No."

Tom "Don't be so glib!"

Prince "Fuck off! Now, what happened 2 that lady from Under the Cherry Moon?"

Lady "I am right her Christ-o-pher! I miss you! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Prince "Why do u miss me so,darling?"

Lady "Because Mick G keeps taking up all of this thread! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Everyone has a good laugh about it until...

sitruk7 said:

brilliant

sitruk7 said:

MickG comes in the room and every falls silent. A snicker comes from the croud alearting MickG to the joke falling off.

MickG: "WHAT?!?"

Prince looks over and says:...

"Um...wrecka stow!"

MICKG assurts: what's so funny pimp, umm I mean Prince.

then smiles lovingly at him as Prince readys trying to read MickG and grolps for the words.

Prince utters...

Prince "U're weird and coming from me...that says alot! Now step back fool.I'm inspired 2 write a song!"

Prince then sat at a piano and began a new song...(to the tune of Lolita)

"U're- a pain 2 me
weird ass Mick G
Why can't it be
that James and Joni
Would sing my songs
Why can't we all
just get along?

U're gonna drive a brother loco,Mick

I have 2 admit-a
That Eye wanna quit-a
When u interveen-a
With all your bullshit-a
And u'll never, ever, ever
No, u'll never,ever,ever

Eat a pancake that was served by me!"

Everybody cheered over Prince song when suddenly...

When suddenly a giant mythological Ratatosk, a squirrel from Norse mythology so fast that it has never actually been seen, scampered into the room.

"Holy mothafuckn' shit!", Prince sreamed, "What the fuck is that thing?"

The Ratatosk, was appearently suffering from an ailment brought on by drinking way too much dihydrogenated monoxide from the Paisley Park water fountain outside, wandered around deleriously knocking down gold records off the walls, furniture, and Prince's MAC makeup off his desk.

"Stop it!", Prince screamed, "Stop it!"

"It can't be stopped", said Mel Gibson, "from accross the room."
Entering with an ominous cloud around him, Mel stepped into the light and explained, Norse Myths are pagan, and this is the work of the devil. Like the jews, the only real way to subdue it would be to put it to sleep. Only you can put Jews to sleep with my acting--you can't do the same with this beast.

"We could always play the Black Sweat video to it" , replied Tom, " That always seems to put folks to sleep."

Gibson turned and looked at Tom, the only thing that will work on this animal is .....


.
[Edited 9/3/06 12:20pm]

Chuck-Mutha Funkin'-Norris!

sitruk7 said:

Oh my goodness! I almost died just now..LMAO

DanceWme said:

Now don't go and do that

sitruk7 said:

LOL..i won't

Imago said:

a mixture of soymilk and whey protein. The delicious banana like flavor will make him drink it, the thickness of it in his stomach will slow him down, and he's bleching will allow us to track him easily.

"I got soymilk and whey protein" Prince said appearing with a large pitcher of the stuff. "I love to have a tall glass of it before my three hours of sleep every other day."

Prince sat the pitcher in the middle of the room, within seconds the pitcher of soymilk was empty. As expected the Ratatosk did slow down enough to be seen, but unfortunately...

littlemissG said:

MickG being the quick nimble fatass he is got all exicted and thought it was a free buffitt. While Greedly Gulping down the wannabe Milkshake, Prince has a strange look and says.
[Edited 9/3/06 21:49pm]

Prince "I think I'll name this...'Loveslurpy'.Come try this Chuck Norris before you end up forgotten like Joni Mitchel, Larry Graham, James Brown, Carlos Santana and the Miss Cleo chick from Under the Cherry Moon "

Chuck gulped it down "You know Prince? When protien comes from my incredibly chisled nipples!"

Prince "Word?"

Chuck "Word. And on top of that, it's poisoned!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Do youwant to know the antidote?"

Prince "Yes! Yes,of course! I don't wanna die!!"

Chuck "Word?"

Prince "Word!"

Chuck "Then go to www.trueprincestories.com!"

At that point Chuck removed his disguise to reveal Prince's former bodyguard Hucky who then...

sent his Pikcu to attack the to catch the giant mythological Ratatosk. Using it's lighting attack Pikcu easily defeted the Ratatosk, and was captured in a red and white pokeball.

The group cheered and Prince grabbed his guitar, and led them in the pokemon theme song:

So you wanna be a master?! (Pokemon!)
Do you have the skills to be number one?!
I wanna take the ultimate step, find the courage to be bold
To risk it all and not forget, the lessons that I hold
I wanna go where no ones been
Far beyond the crowd!
Learn the way to take command(use the power that’s in my hand)
we all live in a Pokemon world (pokemon)
I wanna be the greatest master of them all(greatest master)
We all live in a Pokemon world(Pokemon!)
put my self to the test, to be better than all the rest!
So you wanna be a master?! (Pokemon!)
Do you have the skills to be number one?!
we all live in a Pokemon world(Pokemon!)
I wanna be the greatest master of them all (use the power that's in your hand)
PO-KE-MON!

George Clinton: Not bad Prince, but as the Funk Master here, I think that needed a little more how do I say it?.... Funk.

Prince, with veins bugling from his forhead, said....